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First obviously you need to communicate these issues before they turn into resentments. Showing her this email would be a great start as you have really laid out the issues very well, in a non-blaming and non-confrontational ay, with very specific examples and possible solutions. If everyone started resolving their problems like this, things would improve greatly.

Thanks Em, I have discussed this with Her when it was happening, before I left and since I have been back. When we talk I do start to feel more secure and less threatened...My Domina explains that it will just take time and that my trust will build with my seeing everything is only friendship now between them.

I'd suggest you both need to set down and each spell out your expectations for "alone time." See what limits you are both comfortable with. Sometimes couples have to do this when it comes to computer time :)
This is a very good idea and I will think of how we can discuss this and plan for the next time I go.

Make sure you reiterate that you aren't trying to lessen the relationship they have, but that you feel this is hindering the growing of your own relationship together.
Good point.

As far as the specific instance of the photos, it's understandable that you would be hurt, but you brought it up and were given a fairly reasonable answer as to why. Continue this and discuss a possible future instance where you can show off your own talents.

Another good idea and I will explain that it is important for me to let her see what I am capable of doing with my Art.

Fitting into a persons life who has a past is never easy, any person who has had the "meet the parents" weekend understands this. But if both people are listening and clear on expectations, you can limit the problems that occur and learn to roll with the wrinkles that will rise up.

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The best suggestion i can make to you is to take the time to notice the good things about your Domina's ex. Once you get to know her better, even if you aren't the best of friends, it may be easier to understand why your Domina is set on remaining friends, and to accept the relationship as it is.

Great suggestion His sweetshiv,
That is what my Domina tries to explain to me and I do hope in time it will be fine...
but I will try and notice the good and what I do like about "Shelly" and try to open up to her more...ARGH!!! that sounds soooo difficult right now.

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Does your Domina have you journal at all? If so, does she read it or can you request for her to read it? This would be an excellent thing to put in a journal. If not, write it all down and edit it until is says exactly what you want it to say. then send it or read it to her.

you need to make sure your needs are being met by the relationship. There are wants (like which movie to watch or what toy to use) and then there are needs (like emotional support and sometimes the need for a scene).

I hope it works out.

Fire

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ORIGINAL: RiotGirl
why be with some one else who needs to get emotional fullfillment some where other then you?

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Of course, you could keep trying and dealing with all the emotional anguish, the insults from other ppl, the constant forced opionons of what you should do and letting others call you bipolar and all sorts of stupid stuff.. but then, you'll just end up cynical like me. Not giving a rats ass anymore. Drinkin a beer, wishing you had something else and sick and tired and fed up because YOU tried to work out ALL YOUR frickin issues (cos its all in your head remember), you tried your damnedest, you tried to be the "understanding" one. You tried to have faith.

But hon it dont work like that. you're better off heading for the hills now.

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ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures
They are called "exs" for a reason. If they are sill around, there is unfinished business, and your loved one is not fully available to you.

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Last but not least -- this has never failed me or any of my girlfriends, i am sorry to say. If you are asking yourself "could he/she be cheating on me?' the answer is always "yes".

mea culp, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

pinkpleasures

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Last but not least -- this has never failed me or any of my girlfriends, i am sorry to say. If you are asking yourself "could he/she be cheating on me?' the answer is always "yes".

mea culp, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

pinkpleasures

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When we travel we drive and it takes 6 or 7 hours and although we do spend the first week or two totally a lone because my Domina knows how I feel, time after that when something special is going on, Shelly and her girl are there. WIth my limited time I want to be more a lone with Her.

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A for instance that bugged me, was that I am a Photographer and her Ex dabbles in it and Shelly was asked to take pic's at my Domina's mother's 80th birthday party.
That hurt to the core...My domina's answer to why was that I sometimes panic when having to be in a large group of people and she wanted to make sure pictures were taken.
How I looked at it was that would have given me the opportunity to be there with a ligit purpose, making me feel more comfortable.
Well she got 300 pictures, with I would say about 25 "Good" shots. Which woiuld have been different if I had been shooting!

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I love my Domina, she has said she loves me. I want her to be happy in her life
and she desires to keep this connection and I want to grow and learn to except rather than to risk losing My Domina.
If anyone can share similiar experiences and or how you have dealt successfully with this kind of situation, it would be much appreciated.

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I'm going to play the devil's advocate here... Having been on the "other" end of such a situation... only the distance was far greater... England to US.

So what you are saying is that she should put her life completely on hold during your visits? I think it's wonderful that she and you are able to spend the first week or two alone and that after that she wants you to be a part of her daily (and normal) life.