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RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 1:33:53 PM   
xoxi


Posts: 1066
Status: offline 		oooh yeah I can imagine.

Have you been to Cold Stone (is there even one where you live?  I don't know if it's regional or not)
They have the absolute best shakes, with the absolute best flavors.  Like amaretto, or dulce de leche, or caramel, or dark chocolate, or coffee, or strawberry cheesecake...and you can mix and match your ice cream scoops as well.

Dark chocolate/caramel and coffee/amaretto are just two of the orgasms they have given my mouth :P



(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 141
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 1:35:46 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		I love Cold Stone ice cream. I didn't know they made shakes too! I guess I was too fascinated with the fact that they will mix sprinkles into whatever flavor of ice cream I want.

Those flavors sound good though. I wonder what caramel and armaretto would be like...

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to xoxi)
Profile   Post #: 142
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 1:37:23 PM   
xoxi


Posts: 1066
Status: offline 		omg yes they do make shakes...it took me awhile to figure that one out too LOL

And they even mix stuff into the shakes...I forgot which flavors I added oreos to but it was beyond delicious.

Hehe and I love watching them mix the stuff together...especially when a hot guy is behind the counter whipping and slapping those toppings into the ice cream


< Message edited by xoxi -- 10/2/2007 1:38:26 PM >

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 143
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 1:38:15 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		Non-fluffy as in how the actual topic changed from a question to a personal attack on the gal?

Right, and now it is my turn. lol

My critical assessment of anyone at any time is not personal.  Ask a question, you get the truth to best of my knowledge.  If I am also non-fluffy then that can be disputed at the time at the place.  I am not here to coddle someone in a false sense of security. 

If I don't view this OP as something of low-esteem in value, that is how I see it.  My eyes, my opinion.  I know nothing of her former posts except for one that we shared about something, never noticed her actually until today and I am not in need of someone notifying me of what friends (from here, if any) I choose to invite into my circle. 

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 144
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 1:39:03 PM   
Skittishkat


Posts: 12
Joined: 8/22/2007
Status: offline 		Sorry, I am confused but then I'm a newbie.  Is this thread about the difficulty of finding a dom?
We could go into that since it's a valid topic and the truth.  From the sounds of some of the dom ads you'd think they were advertising for a domestic position and not a relationship or am I just getting old?
You can start throwing rocks at that while I make it worse by asking, is pain and bondage for correction then observe, if so, apparently it never works.  Or is it for the pleasure of both D/s?
Skittishkat

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 145
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 1:41:04 PM   
Bobkgin


Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

DBG, some people just don't have the mental equipment, or the environment, or the support needed to grow up.

I have found, from those I've helped, that those with low self-esteem do much better when they realize this simple truth:

Most of the world is never going to "grow up".

They realize that their problems are the result of listening to and believing the ego-driven.

When they stop doing that, they blossom.




I refuse to believe the ego driven. That must be why they're getting so upset and increasing the level of their insults. Sooner or later, I will make a selection. It may be tomorrow, it may be a few months from now. When I do, I'll make sure to post a thread. It will be fun to sit back and watch them turn it into "poor unattached me" that no man wants because I'm so pathetic. When they've dug themselves into a deep enough hole, I'll drop the bomb.


Let's hope that's not the reason you make a choice

And don't be surprised if they tell everyone that you've invented this individual.

Truthfully, when I find those whom I seek I'll be much to busy (and happy) to give this place a moment's thought.

In many ways I am like a mountain man: I come into town to do business, purchase supplies, and return to my beloved forest where life makes sense.

I'm only here because those I seek might be here. Spending time here is a necessary evil, but nothing more than that.

While the ego-driven love drama, and love casting you in various "ee-vil" parts, it helps to stay focused on why you are here, and to learn the art of patience when in crowds.

Truly, when viewed through the eyes of maturity, there is no reason to believe those I seek are listening to the immature.

I hope it is that way for the one you seek.


_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 146
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 1:42:35 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Skittishkat

Sorry, I am confused but then I'm a newbie.  Is this thread about the difficulty of finding a dom?

The thread has gotten hijacked to a few different places, but the OP seems to be about the difficulty of finding a dominant when you are over 25 and are bigger physically.
quote:


We could go into that since it's a valid topic and the truth.  From the sounds of some of the dom ads you'd think they were advertising for a domestic position and not a relationship or am I just getting old?

Some people are, more or less, advertising for a domestic position. Some enjoy a dynamic that only revolves are service. I think there have been a bunch of threads on it if you want to look them up.
quote:


You can start throwing rocks at that while I make it worse by asking, is pain and bondage for correction then observe, if so, apparently it never works.  Or is it for the pleasure of both D/s?

No rocks here. Pain and bondage can be for correction or reward. It just depends on the particulars and the people involved.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Skittishkat)
Profile   Post #: 147
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 1:45:57 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xoxi
And they even mix stuff into the shakes...I forgot which flavors I added oreos to but it was beyond delicious.


Ooooo.... I just remembered this great shake place in Greensboro where you can get all sorts of shakes with things in them. I don't know why I haven't been there lately but they do a pretty good job. I like their chocolate shake with cherries in it.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to xoxi)
Profile   Post #: 148
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 1:47:28 PM   
xoxi


Posts: 1066
Status: offline 		Awwwww its so cute!  They're already sniffing each other's butts and testing the waters for mating possibilities.

Just a bit of advice:

DBG - It is impossible to teach an old bob new tricks.  Save yourself the effort.
Bobkins - Install the clapper on all lights in the house.  That way if she leaves them on she can say she turned themoff but your lumbering steps turned them back on which will save you from having to break up with her over it.

I'm really wondering what the sprouts are going to look like from this pairing. 

(in reply to Bobkgin)
Profile   Post #: 149
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 1:47:47 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Hey, when you post a thread saying that you found a great guy and you are happy, I'm going to be happy for you.

Thank you in advance. But I don't intend to post a thread about finding a great guy, at least not right away.
 
But posting a thread just to deceive people and then "dropping a bomb" seems pretty high school to me.

I don't intend to post a thread specifically to deceive people. I don't think that will be necessary.

You aren't pathetic. But sometimes it seems like you think you are because of the things that you post about the groups that you belong to.


Thank you again. People flinging insults on the assumption that I only post about those similar to me is what will get them caught up. I've always had what some may call a female version of the white knight complex. That's the reason I chose a related career path. Helping others is a part of who I am. Do you honestly think that every person I've helped is in the same situation as me?

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 150
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 1:49:39 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		sometimes you have to help others by letting them get hurt...part of the learning process....

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 151
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 1:51:32 PM   
Bobkgin


Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

My second question is, why would the thread be started to help people (the OP or others) with their SELF-esteem?  Doesn't the very definition of the word imply that is something that has to be built within the self?  Just in My personal opinion, the fishing for anyone to expound how wonderful a person is doesn't hold a candle to those comments made without such proding.  I'd rather hear something from the heart.

 

 
That's a good question I haven't seen asked before.
 
Self-esteem is about the way in which we look at ourselves. Those with low self-esteem were taught to view themselves as unworthy of love, attention, trust, companionship ...

Improving self-esteem is about bringing to the surface aspects of the individual which have been suppressed so as to achieve the skewed view of one's worth.

Those I have helped have been good and kind people, loving and thoughful. They just didn't think these things counted for anything, and so they suffered from low self-esteem.

By showing them how all of these things matter, they achieved a healthier, more balanced sense of self-worth.

But that's only part of the process. The other part is helping them listen to themselves more than they listen to others about their own self-worth. It isn't enough for them to believe these qualities have value just because I think they have value. They need to see the intrinsic value in these qualities for themselves, at all times.

Once that has been achieved, they enjoy a healthier self-esteem and are more immune to the ego-driven who would take that away from them.

quote:

 
My third and final question is, in the seven pages that this has gone to, has anyone learned anything?


And who would you have speak for the silent majority (nodding in the direction of the audience at large)?

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 152
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 1:53:34 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Thank you again. People flinging insults on the assumption that I only post about those similar to me is what will get them caught up. I've always had what some may call a female version of the white knight complex. That's the reason I chose a related career path. Helping others is a part of who I am. Do you honestly think that every person I've helped is in the same situation as me?


No, but you have posted on other threads that you think your body type is undesirable to male dominants and that you consider yourself to be older.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 153
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 1:57:09 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		omg , this is just lookin' more and more like cock-blocking.

Anyhoo..ya, lets check every 'moment of weakness' thread of everyone and bring it up elsewhere to remove any doubt that someone who posts is and shall remain in that state of weakness forever n ever.  Niceeeeeeeeee.

< Message edited by came4U -- 10/2/2007 1:59:26 PM >

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 154
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 1:57:45 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I haven't had any difficulty finding a Dom......I know where I am all the time, it is not like I am hiding or anything.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 155
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 1:58:17 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		Geez, I was almost afraid Bob was gonna let me down and not take the oppurtunity to swoop in as the big savior, talking over everyone and presenting himself as the man above all men in a swirl of self contradiction and inconsistency.

Now that the circus has officially started, we can get some real entertainment value out of this.



_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 156
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 2:00:15 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		can i find parts of you Ron? i promise i don't have an sharp or pointy objects.........

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 157
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 2:07:17 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

No, but you have posted on other threads that you think your body type is undesirable to male dominants and that you consider yourself to be older.


For many (not all) male dominants on here, bbw subs in general are undesirable, while many (not all) male subs find bbw dommes more attractive than thin ones and specifically seek them out. It has nothing to do with poor me anything. I'm talking generalizations here. Yes, I consider myself to be older, not old. That doesn't mean I think less of myself than I did when I was in my 20's. Any pregnancy past age 35 is considered high risk. I will be 35 in less than a year. That means I'm older, but it doesn't mean I'm ancient.

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 158
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 2:08:42 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

can i find parts of you Ron? i promise i don't have an sharp or pointy objects.........


Shall I assist you, or are you a DIY kinda girl?

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 159
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 2:13:36 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

For many (not all) male dominants on here, bbw subs in general are undesirable, while many (not all) male subs find bbw dommes more attractive than thin ones and specifically seek them out.

That is just the dominants here. In real life, interacting with people at events I have never found this to be the case. And despite a few loud-voiced objectors to body fat, most of the dominents here that I really respect care less about weight and more about what is inside.
quote:


Any pregnancy past age 35 is considered high risk. I will be 35 in less than a year. That means I'm older, but it doesn't mean I'm ancient.

I guess I just don't define older by when I'll stop being able to have kids safely.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 160
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