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RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 2:18:56 PM   
Bobkgin


Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

No, but you have posted on other threads that you think your body type is undesirable to male dominants and that you consider yourself to be older.


For many (not all) male dominants on here, bbw subs in general are undesirable, while many (not all) male subs find bbw dommes more attractive than thin ones and specifically seek them out. It has nothing to do with poor me anything. I'm talking generalizations here. Yes, I consider myself to be older, not old. That doesn't mean I think less of myself than I did when I was in my 20's. Any pregnancy past age 35 is considered high risk. I will be 35 in less than a year. That means I'm older, but it doesn't mean I'm ancient.


Hey!, Watch it with the "A" word!

You are at the very low end of "high-risk", I saw the numbers when my wife conceived at 41.

Consider that the majority of male doms are more likely to be ego-driven than the majority of male subs.

Ego-driven people are more likely to choose superficialities that affect image.

I think that pretty much explains the results in your threads.

_____________________________

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That you never really lived?

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(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 161
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 2:20:03 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		I on the other hand do tend to view it that way. Once I'm out of college, I hope to have another child. By then I will be over 35 and high risk.

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 162
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 2:21:20 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

I personally fail to see how this thread that is focusing on the difficulty and hopelessness of finding a dominant because of body types and then proceeding to suggest that people take alternative routes such as switching or being a Dom, giving up on finding what they want in a person and settling for something less is "positive" or "brightening the day" of people.




I first created a thread in Ask a Master after reading the wonderful responses in the Ask a Mistress thread. Was it my fault it didn't generate positive responses from as many different people as the other one did? This thread was about pointing out the differences in the two and a possible way that some may be able to work around it if they so choose. How is that settling for less? As for me, I don't currently have a partner because I refuse to settle for some Dom that expects the first meeting to be in a hotel room. Regardless of what many on here think of me, I know I'm better than that.


Oh really?

I wish you would make up your mind as to what the problem is. Is it that you cant find an adequate partner because your too smart and the only men who want you are ones who have incredibly low IQs? Or are you just waitng idly, sorting threw all these selections, waiting to make a choice?

Less than a week ago, you started a thread, upset over the fact that a man you had a couple of email exchanges with, blocked you, because you got paranoid when he disapeared and called him a wanker.

Now, personally, such a post and scenario that reeks of desparity seems a bit out of place in an emotionally secure individual who is idly biding her time, waiting to make a proper selection.

Now if you want to argue with me and say "No, no, no, thats not it. Everyone is wrong. I'm always right.", thats cool. I dont know you. I could be wrong. But I am not going to stop calling it how I see it and this is what I see.

My opinion will be changed when I see less and less of this "sob story" routine being posted by you on these boards. Sorry, if you want to claim you dont, but you have. I would provide examples, but I am not going to go threw all the trouble of digging threw old threads. However, I do have this thing that I do where I retain information that I read and learn things about posters on here.

Want to say I am being "negative and mean"? Well, self improvement comes from recognizing the bad behaviors and this is my opinion of you.

Want to talk about my faults?

Sure, why not?

I can be arrogant. I can come off as a "Know It All" sometimes and have a habit of lecturing to people when it comes to subjects I feel confident and educated in. I can be heartless and quite a few people think I am an asshole. I have to remind myself to curb my reaction of disdain and disrepect to opinions I personally find deplorable and disrespectable. I've been so focused on my career, personal goals, and improving my own life that I have allowed myself to become a bit self absorbed.

However, self matyrdom wont be found in that list nor will stubborn or single minded.

I do agree with the common consensus here.Your savior is posting in these threads. Go and get him.


< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 10/2/2007 2:24:43 PM >

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 163
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 2:26:19 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

I on the other hand do tend to view it that way. Once I'm out of college, I hope to have another child. By then I will be over 35 and high risk.


You can always adopt. Low risk and you get to provide a loving home for an infant that really needs you.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 164
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 2:27:54 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

However, I do have this thing that I do where I retain information that I read and learn things about posters on here.


how CIA and a waste of time for you. Only people I keep track of are those of the same DNA. Otherwise, it is a waste of precious time.

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 165
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 2:39:07 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

Hey!, Watch it with the "A" word!

You are at the very low end of "high-risk", I saw the numbers when my wife conceived at 41.
Thanks for pointing that out.
Consider that the majority of male doms are more likely to be ego-driven than the majority of male subs.

Ego-driven people are more likely to choose superficialities that affect image.

I think that pretty much explains the results in your threads.


That makes sense. Perhaps I would be better off going back to being a switch (it's not like I've never dominated a man). If I find a male sub instead of another switch, I will simply order him to dominate me. When male subs contact me, I will tell those who have same sex fantasies that I'm not interested. At least I won't end up with some ego driven asshole that expects the first meet to be in a motel room.

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to Bobkgin)
Profile   Post #: 166
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 2:42:09 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

quote:

However, I do have this thing that I do where I retain information that I read and learn things about posters on here.


how CIA and a waste of time for you. Only people I keep track of are those of the same DNA. Otherwise, it is a waste of precious time.


Yeah, I know. I'm just a snooper.

I do other CIA things and waste my time in other areas like reading books and retaining detailed information about the characters for use later.

I even read books on cooking, knitting, gardening, and remember the information to apply later on when I cook, knit, and garden.

I'm sorry remembering the things that you read is so difficult for you without creating extensive CIA profiles of other people or devoting your time and effort to remember. .

< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 10/2/2007 2:43:30 PM >

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 167
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 2:43:22 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

Maybe you and Bobby boy should consider hooking up.  His saviour complex and your trainload of baggage might actually make a good match.  He could spend his golden years "fixing" you and you could replace his dead wife and squat out a replacement for his dead kid.

Sounds like a match made in heaven!

~stef



Stef the matchmaker

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 168
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 2:47:16 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

Stef the matchmaker

It's for the good of humanity.

~stef


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"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 169
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 2:56:03 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

I'm sorry remembering the things that you read is so difficult for you without creating extensive CIA profiles of other people or devoting your time and effort to remember. .


Good for you! Pat on back! Cooking, reading, growing your own foodstuff are all wise, productive and caring things to do. 

What was mentioned in this case is irrelevant word-saving-fodder nonsense to me. Far more important things in my brain going on that to keep track of strangers and their info unless I owned the joint. (Except if I saw something spooky/creepy and that never leaves my memory).

< Message edited by came4U -- 10/2/2007 3:00:09 PM >

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 170
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 2:58:12 PM   
backseatbebe


Posts: 195
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		who are you to say we need postive responces?
perhaps we like the the negative responces, and seek such things as humilation and being degrated

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: PsychoticWolf

Well, you can't expect every Dom to act the way you want them too.
All you need to do is keep trying and not give up, I'm sure their's older people than me out there who like what I like. XD


At 34, I'm not getting any younger but I've had play partners both younger and older. My longest bdsm partner was  someone 5 years younger than me. Thanks for the encouragement. I'm confident I'll find someone, even if I have to wait until I'm able to move out of Kansas. I was just hoping older bbw subs would get multiple positive responses like the older bbw dommes did.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 171
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 3:13:55 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		There are a variety of factors that have interfeared with my selection process. As for the wanker, he did contact me again saying he blocked me as "punishment". My instincts were right about him. He's a joke and I have no interest in him. It sucks he turned out to be that way since he lives in the same town as me instead of 2 hours away like some of my admirers. Still, I didn't lose any sleep over it. Why would I? I never even met the guy. But that has nothing to do with a thread based on  a generalization.

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 172
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 3:31:56 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

No, but you have posted on other threads that you think your body type is undesirable to male dominants and that you consider yourself to be older.


For many (not all) male dominants on here, bbw subs in general are undesirable, while many (not all) male subs find bbw dommes more attractive than thin ones and specifically seek them out. It has nothing to do with poor me anything. I'm talking generalizations here. Yes, I consider myself to be older, not old. That doesn't mean I think less of myself than I did when I was in my 20's. Any pregnancy past age 35 is considered high risk. I will be 35 in less than a year. That means I'm older, but it doesn't mean I'm ancient.


I'm assuming you're not looking for "many" Doms, so who cares?  Actually pregnancy around 35 isn't high risk, and 35 is also not "older".  I'm assuming you will have a child when the circumstances are right and not try to force the issue when they are not, so really target age isn't much help. 
You are where you are and what you are so how do these generalizations help you at all?  They really don't.  There are just as many people that don't want someone with brown hair, or small breasts or large breasts or big feet or any other physical or personality characteristic, that's just life.  I'm sure you also have at least some things you would not consider in a partner.
It would be much easier to make a post saying "I'm frustrated because I'm having a hard time finding a partner" than this one, I'm sure there are many who would agree it's frustrating and not always fair, but then again life isn't always fair, you make of it what you can when you can.
l

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 173
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 4:43:18 PM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

There are a variety of factors that have interfeared with my selection process. As for the wanker, he did contact me again saying he blocked me as "punishment". My instincts were right about him. He's a joke and I have no interest in him. It sucks he turned out to be that way since he lives in the same town as me instead of 2 hours away like some of my admirers. Still, I didn't lose any sleep over it. Why would I? I never even met the guy. But that has nothing to do with a thread based on  a generalization.


Is everything in your life negative or do you simply choose to see it that way?  I am FIFTY-FOUR years old (although i prefer to think "ageless")  InkedMaster is 9 years my junior.  He is at His perfect weight.  i am 30 lbs over my perfect weight.  He and i live nearly 500 miles apart.  We made meeting in person a priority.  We are perfect for each other.  He didn't set out to meet an older, heavier female, He set out to meet an intelligent, submissive with the same interests and sense of humor.  i didn't spend any time or effort trying to find something wrong with Him or bemoan the distance or freak if He didn't email. 

Could it simply be a case of sending out negative energy and getting a negative response?  You can't yell "SHIT" into the Grand Canyon and expect the echo to come back "sugar".

_____________________________

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(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 174
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 4:45:36 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

To unattached subs out there with not so perfect bodies, you're facing a definite double standard. There's a thread in Ask a Mistress about male subs desiring older bbw dommes that generated many positive responses (4 pages). I started a thread in Ask a Master about Doms desiring older bbw subs and there was only 1 response in 4 hours. I was wondering if any bbw subs out there ever considered becoming switches and ordering male subs to dominate them?

The answer? Just switch and be pansexual....et voila! no problems...........

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 175
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 4:49:30 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Ego-driven people are more likely to choose superficialities that affect image.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

It's made me think:
I wonder if a room full of narcissists would even know where they were?



(in reply to Bobkgin)
Profile   Post #: 176
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 5:12:42 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened


i didn't spend any time or effort trying to find something wrong with Him or bemoan the distance or freak if He didn't email. 



Did he email you only on this site and not have a messenger? Did he expect you to submit to him before giving you his phone # or telling you where he lived? I wasn't being negative. I hoped my instincts were wrong but they weren't. You don't know all the facts.

< Message edited by defiantbadgirl -- 10/2/2007 5:15:12 PM >

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to eyesopened)
Profile   Post #: 177
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 5:47:57 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Embrace You ..... alone or with a toy .


I agree with this on so many levels.
I used to fret and worry and get caught up in thiniking that I was not ________(fill in the blank, some examples: pretty enough, rich enough, funny enough, smart enough, different enough, skinny enough, blah, blah), and this must be the reason for my inability to find a compatible person.  After a few years (yes, it took that long for me) I decided to make my own life good, regardless of who may or may not be in it.  I am so much happier now that I've let go of that "must have a dom" "must be part of a couple" type of thinking.  In the end, all you have is you. 


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to lalbobbilynn)
Profile   Post #: 178
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 6:12:19 PM   
xoxi


Posts: 1066
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

Could it simply be a case of sending out negative energy and getting a negative response?  You can't yell "SHIT" into the Grand Canyon and expect the echo to come back "sugar".


This is really the best advice offered from the whole thread.

Seriously.  Read it.  Internalize it.  And start spitting sugar instead of shit.

(in reply to eyesopened)
Profile   Post #: 179
RE: Difficulty finding a Dom? - 10/2/2007 9:22:23 PM   
LDRandAstarte


Posts: 504
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Honsoku
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Have you ever been to college domiguy? What was your gpa? Mine is a 3.87



Unfortunately an education does not mean someone is interesting (if only it was that easy). I have met people with phenomenal GPAs that were incredibly uninteresting to talk to, yet have also met people who never graduated high school that were very intellectually stimulating.

Honsoku


And, have you noticed some of the GPA's reported for some of the contestents on "Are You Smarter Then A 5th Grader", who bust out of the game on a question like; "If Kyle is 6 inches taller the Marky and Marky is 4' 6" tall, how many inches tall is Kyle"?
Obviously a high GPA don't amount to squat anymore!

< Message edited by LDRandAstarte -- 10/2/2007 9:32:57 PM >

_____________________________

When I die, I want to go like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming in terror like the other three passengers in his car.

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Profile   Post #: 180
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