RE: "Partners on behavioural Meds..."

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: "Partners on behavioural Meds..."

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: "Partners on behavioural Meds..."

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: "Partners on behavioural Meds..." - 10/3/2007 5:40:50 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

There are so many problems a person could have that meds cannot fix that i would be more concerned about. Three that come to mind are borderline personality disorder, narcissistic
personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder. There are no meds for personality disorders, they have to be worked out through hard work in therapy and that is only if the person who has them even recognizes there is a problem. At least when a person has depression or bi polar disorder they can take meds and function normally.

And what about a person who is just a jerk - no pill to cure that

[edited to add]

*smacks forhead* and how could i forget any type of addiction disorder - drugs, alcohol, gambling, even smoking

< Message edited by velvetears -- 10/3/2007 6:01:52 AM >

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to leakylee)

Post #: 41

RE: "Partners on behavioural Meds..." - 10/3/2007 5:46:01 AM

Bobkgin

Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

Wickad, Leakylee:

Interesting that you both found examples of people whose standards are so stringent as to pretty much preclude ever getting involved with someone who has a mental illness.

I think its important to keep in mind that not everyone can handle the knowledge that their partner has a mental illness. There is still a stigma regarding this.

Some people learned it from their parents who'd stigmatize anyone who appears ill. Some people avoid them because it just doesn't sound right to say "A crazy person loves me, and I'm going to tie her up and XYZ" or "a crazy person loves me, and I'm going to let him tie me up and XYZ".

Some people are never going to be prepared to handle this or accept it as a part of their lives.

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to leakylee)

Post #: 42

RE: "Partners on behavioural Meds..." - 10/3/2007 5:54:51 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

Bob, some people learned to be racist from their parents also, or Anti-Semetic. That doesn't make it okay. You grow up, you learn new things.

Like the motto goes, a closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose.

And btw, I'm not crazy. I have a problem with my brain chemistry the same way diabetics have a problem with their body chemistry. You know, when insulin was first developed back in the early years of the 20th century, people thought it was wrong to take it because it was believed to cause major changes in the personality and the body and that the person would be untrustworthy to be around. Guess what, nobody thinks that way anymore. And given the fact that it is currently estimated that 28% of the population will have a depressive episode during their lifetime, it is well past time that people stop thinking seeking treatment for a biochemical imbalance means you're crazy.

(in reply to Bobkgin)

Post #: 43

RE: "Partners on behavioural Meds..." - 10/3/2007 5:56:10 AM

MissSCD

Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline

TheEnglishDom:

That was a nice post and nothing to be concerned with folks attacking you.
I am bipolar, and share that with many different aspects of life in general from church to the lifestyle. I want people to be aware of what I am and what I am experiencing so that they may get something out of it so they may learn from my episodes.
I agree 100 percent that the illness should be presented upfront especially in a BDSM relationship.
There are times in my relationship that we stop sceening. This last episode was so bad that my slave hid my toys which was a good thing for him to do. I gave the control over to him only so I would not have to worry. He is actually more Dominant in personality than I am.
When I am over this episode, we will go back to sceens. I don't want to hurt him.
Mental illness is not a problem if you recognize it and seek help. It is very expensive. That is the downside of it. Recognizing the problem and finding a real pschye who is an expert in your area is a key to wellness.

Regards, MissSCD

(in reply to TheEnglishDom)

Post #: 44

RE: "Partners on behavioural Meds..." - 10/3/2007 5:59:15 AM

Bobkgin

Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

At least when a person has depression ... then can take meds and function normally.

Not true in all cases.

I knew a chronic depressive (the mother of a woman I dated) who was so messed up on prescription meds she couldn't function at all.

And in the case of my own chronic depression, a therapist judged it a sane and rationale response to the situation in the world and its trends (such as they were some 30 years ago). It is possible to know too much, to see too clearly, and be depressed by the apparent inevitability of it all. No pill for being depressed over the rate of environmental destruction world-wide.

quote:

[edited to add]

*smacks forhead* and how could i forget any type of addiction disorder - drugs, alcohol, gambling, even smoking

And what of caffeine addicts, or choc-aholics, or religious zealots, or workaholics - addiction manifests itself in many ways.

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to velvetears)

Post #: 45

RE: "Partners on behavioural Meds..." - 10/3/2007 6:01:36 AM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

Hmmmm...I wonder if the s types will start getting e-mails that say...."On your knees slut!,...and list ALL of your current medications!"

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to MissSCD)

Post #: 46

RE: "Partners on behavioural Meds..." - 10/3/2007 6:04:34 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

Bob, the point i was trying to make was that there can be more severe problems in a person, that aren't "fixable", besides those kinds that can and do respond to psycotropic medications.

And i did say: and how could i forget any type of addiction disorder. That would cover the ones you added and more you didn't.

[edited to add]
Anyone "so messed up" probably won't have looking for a bdsmm relationship at the top of their list, and if they do it will more then likely be obvious they are suffereing from some kind of mental illness.

< Message edited by velvetears -- 10/3/2007 6:06:52 AM >

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to Bobkgin)

Post #: 47

RE: "Partners on behavioural Meds..." - 10/3/2007 6:07:28 AM

leakylee

Posts: 747
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline

let me say that i say crazy in jest. i know the medical causes of this mess frontwards and backwards. i devoured every bit of information that i could once i was diagnosed, and continue to update myself every few years.

Celeste, i guess having been diagnosed so long ago i dont even think about filling the doc in much anymore. if there isnt anything new happening it is a run in, run out sort of thing. my therapy days havent been around in a while.

but i can see where, if new problems occured, that divulging the information would difintely prove useful, even neccesary.

lee

_____________________________

I am so not right, that I left..

(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 48

RE: "Partners on behavioural Meds..." - 10/3/2007 6:11:52 AM

Aneirin

Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline

People who are on meds for behavioural issues at least have sought help for a problem they recognise within themselves and so,I would be inclined to trust.What scares me are those that believe they have nothing 'wrong' with themselves or do,but refuse to seek help.

I believe no one is without problems to themselves or others,we are all different, and if it were not for the Pdocs,we would all just be people with differences.Perhaps in this day and age too much emphasis is placed upon what is considered normal and what is not.One wonders about the lucrative industry that has grown up out of a desire to become maybe a fictional normal.

As to honesty about medication,I will not seek to know a past history,but I will understand if and when it is brought to the fore, I will leave that relevation up to the comfort of the individual.

But with all this talk about medications,the question has to be asked what exactly is normal,can it be defined in people and what is the bench mark to draw upon?

_____________________________

Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

(in reply to TheEnglishDom)

Post #: 49

RE: "Partners on behavioural Meds..." - 10/3/2007 6:12:41 AM

Bobkgin

Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

Bob, some people learned to be racist from their parents also, or Anti-Semetic. That doesn't make it okay. You grow up, you learn new things.

I realize that, Celeste.

But that comes out sounding like if you don't choose someone who is mentally ill you are a bigot.

Living with and loving someone who is mentally ill is not comparable to living with someone of a different race or religion (you wouldn't say living with a Jew is like living with someone with a mental illness, now would you?)

Yes, some people behave perfectly normal (whatever that is) when on meds. For some, the meds only control some of the symptoms.

Some people just do not want to feel the life-long burden of monitoring their partner's sanity.

That's not bigotry, that's preference.

To say these people shouldn't have partners (and I haven't seen anyone say that quite so clearly yet) would be bigotry.

quote:

Like the motto goes, a closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose.

Not all choices are the result of a closed mind. Some choices are a reflection of an accurate assessment of what one wants in life.

If I was thinking of having children I'd be less inclined to choose someone with an inheritable mental illness. Is that bigotry or am I considering the future of the child I'd be thinking of creating?

quote:

And btw, I'm not crazy. I have a problem with my brain chemistry the same way diabetics have a problem with their body chemistry. You know, when insulin was first developed back in the early years of the 20th century, people thought it was wrong to take it because it was believed to cause major changes in the personality and the body and that the person would be untrustworthy to be around. Guess what, nobody thinks that way anymore. And given the fact that it is currently estimated that 28% of the population will have a depressive episode during their lifetime, it is well past time that people stop thinking seeking treatment for a biochemical imbalance means you're crazy.

But Celeste, not everyone takes their meds, or they do not take them reliably.

I'm all in favour of education, but I would not paint rosy pictures suggesting that all mentally ill individuals are cast out of one mold. There is that case of the woman who went off her meds and drowned her young children. Forgotten her name, but the case was world-wide news because she was condemned to die despite her illness.

I am not saying everyone is like that. But events such as that give a person pause before entering a relationship with someone with a mental illness.

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 50

RE: "Partners on behavioural Meds..." - 10/3/2007 6:14:02 AM

leakylee

Posts: 747
Joined: 7/2/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

Wickad, Leakylee:

Interesting that you both found examples of people whose standards are so stringent as to pretty much preclude ever getting involved with someone who has a mental illness.

I think its important to keep in mind that not everyone can handle the knowledge that their partner has a mental illness. There is still a stigma regarding this.

Some people learned it from their parents who'd stigmatize anyone who appears ill. Some people avoid them because it just doesn't sound right to say "A crazy person loves me, and I'm going to tie her up and XYZ" or "a crazy person loves me, and I'm going to let him tie me up and XYZ".

Some people are never going to be prepared to handle this or accept it as a part of their lives.

Attention slightly off topic

Bob
you are so right. shoot some of us are just screwed. hell i inherited the mess, but dont forget popular media in all this. i remember watching an episode of Chicago Hope years ago. one of the doctors on the show pops up with "manic depression", the 'treatment' was the psyche ward and shock therapy. now while i have nothing against a good shocking expirence. frying my brains, most assuredly on my list of hard limits.

lee

_____________________________

I am so not right, that I left..

(in reply to Bobkgin)

Post #: 51

RE: "Partners on behavioural Meds..." - 10/3/2007 6:16:18 AM

Bobkgin

Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

Bob, the point i was trying to make was that there can be more severe problems in a person, that aren't "fixable", besides those kinds that can and do respond to psycotropic medications.

And i did say: and how could i forget any type of addiction disorder. That would cover the ones you added and more you didn't.

Agreed.

quote:

[edited to add]
Anyone "so messed up" probably won't have looking for a bdsmm relationship at the top of their list, and if they do it will more then likely be obvious they are suffereing from some kind of mental illness.

I wouldn't be making that assumption. You're suggesting that anyone who seeks out bdsm isn't "so messed up". I was unaware that bdsm was some kind of litmus test for sanity.

< Message edited by Bobkgin -- 10/3/2007 6:29:34 AM >

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to velvetears)

Post #: 52

RE: "Partners on behavioural Meds..." - 10/3/2007 6:22:54 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

I wouldn't be making that assumption. You're suggesting that anyone who seeks out bdsm isn't "so messed up". I was unaware that bdsm was some kind of litmus test for sanity.

Not my assumption at all. my focus was on the "being so messed up" part, not on bdsm. Someone so messed up, especially depression, finds it difficult to function or involve themselves in anything - be it bdsm, reading a book, knitting a sweater, taking a shower, etc.

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to Bobkgin)

Post #: 53

RE: "Partners on behavioural Meds..." - 10/3/2007 6:23:27 AM

Bobkgin

Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

People who are on meds for behavioural issues at least have sought help for a problem they recognise within themselves and so,I would be inclined to trust.What scares me are those that believe they have nothing 'wrong' with themselves or do,but refuse to seek help.

I believe no one is without problems to themselves or others,we are all different, and if it were not for the Pdocs,we would all just be people with differences.Perhaps in this day and age too much emphasis is placed upon what is considered normal and what is not.One wonders about the lucrative industry that has grown up out of a desire to become maybe a fictional normal.

As to honesty about medication,I will not seek to know a past history,but I will understand if and when it is brought to the fore, I will leave that relevation up to the comfort of the individual.

But with all this talk about medications,the question has to be asked what exactly is normal,can it be defined in people and what is the bench mark to draw upon?

I have what I consider a healthy disrespect for psychiatry, mostly because of all the times they got it wrong: frontal lobotomies, electro-shock therapy, sadism, masochism, homosexuality, tranquilizers for house-wives, etc.

I challenge the 'science' because it can only work with statistical averages, not with objectivity (such as exists in math and physics).

Humans are the most adaptable creatures on the planet. How do you define "normal" for such a species?

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to Aneirin)

Post #: 54

RE: "Partners on behavioural Meds..." - 10/3/2007 6:28:13 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

I have what I consider a healthy disrespect for psychiatry, mostly because of all the times they got it wrong: frontal lobotomies, electro-shock therapy, sadism, masochism, homosexuality, tranquilizers for house-wives, etc.

I challenge the 'science' because it can only work with statistical averages, not with objectivity (such as exists in math and physics).

Humans are the most adaptable creatures on the planet. How do you define "normal" for such a species?

Do you have a healthy disrespect for doctors because they used leeches at one time?

If not for psycotropic meds, mental wards would be overflowing. Medications like clozapine, lithium, depakote etc make it possible for people to live their lives outside of mental institutions.

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to Bobkgin)

Post #: 55

RE: "Partners on behavioural Meds..." - 10/3/2007 6:28:36 AM

Bobkgin

Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leakylee

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

Wickad, Leakylee:

Interesting that you both found examples of people whose standards are so stringent as to pretty much preclude ever getting involved with someone who has a mental illness.

I think its important to keep in mind that not everyone can handle the knowledge that their partner has a mental illness. There is still a stigma regarding this.

Some people learned it from their parents who'd stigmatize anyone who appears ill. Some people avoid them because it just doesn't sound right to say "A crazy person loves me, and I'm going to tie her up and XYZ" or "a crazy person loves me, and I'm going to let him tie me up and XYZ".

Some people are never going to be prepared to handle this or accept it as a part of their lives.

Attention slightly off topic

Bob
you are so right. shoot some of us are just screwed. hell i inherited the mess, but dont forget popular media in all this. i remember watching an episode of Chicago Hope years ago. one of the doctors on the show pops up with "manic depression", the 'treatment' was the psyche ward and shock therapy. now while i have nothing against a good shocking expirence. frying my brains, most assuredly on my list of hard limits.

lee

The woman I mentioned earlier in this thread underwent electro-shock before I met her.

She told me the thing that got her out of it was the knowledge that if she kept getting these treatments, they'd burn out everything that made her who she was.

The thing is, it has been over thirty years since they stopped using shock treatment on manic-depression. For a medicine-based tv show to suggest that is the treatment of choice is irresponsible.

I suppose watching the doctor get better on Lithium pills wasn't "dramatic" enough

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to leakylee)

Post #: 56

RE: "Partners on behavioural Meds..." - 10/3/2007 6:32:15 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

i have heard elecro shock therapy is making a comeback. i know a woman who opted to use it as it was a last resort. She understands she may loose some memory but if you weight that against how much you are suffereing from depression, maybe it is a viable option for some. They don't use it to the extreme they used to, but it's still being used today

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to Bobkgin)

Post #: 57

RE: "Partners on behavioural Meds..." - 10/3/2007 6:36:07 AM

Bobkgin

Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

I wouldn't be making that assumption. You're suggesting that anyone who seeks out bdsm isn't "so messed up". I was unaware that bdsm was some kind of litmus test for sanity.

Not my assumption at all. my focus was on the "being so messed up" part, not on bdsm. Someone so messed up, especially depression, finds it difficult to function or involve themselves in anything - be it bdsm, reading a book, knitting a sweater, taking a shower, etc.

There are varying degrees of depression. A person can be highly functional and still be depressed. It is a matter of how we cope with the depression.

For example, after losing my wife I remained highly functional because I had a young son. But after losing my son I was almost totally non-functional for a month.

The depression these events impacted is not something that needs to be or should be treated, as they are natural responses to the circumstances in which they occurred.

They would not be a problem unless they led to a deeper, suicidal depression (and fortunately in my case they did not). I am pretty much fully-functional again.

_____________________________

When all is said and done, what will you regret?

That you never really lived?

Or there was so much living left to do?

For those interested: pics and poetry have been added to my profile.

(in reply to velvetears)

Post #: 58

RE: "Partners on behavioural Meds..." - 10/3/2007 6:40:09 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

Situational depression is different than clinical depression. One arises from a traumatic situation and is short lived, the other is a life long condition caused by an imbalance in the brain of seratonin, dopamine, norepenephrine. i am glad you overcame your depression, imagine spending a life like that? Or spending most of your life like that until some doctor offered you a medication that lifted that awful cloud from your life.

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to Bobkgin)

Post #: 59

RE: "Partners on behavioural Meds..." - 10/3/2007 6:43:05 AM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

ECT is still used today to treat severe depression. It does not 'wipe out' the integral parts that make up a person.

_____________________________

~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).

(in reply to Bobkgin)

Post #: 60

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: "Partners on behavioural Meds..."

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109