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XxSpiderxX -> RE: This is very important to new users (6/13/2008 12:13:34 PM)
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So, now does this mean that my subs wish to serve me by taking care of the house work and rubbing my feet, getting me more sweet tea and thanking me for every day building her up and 'making' her see herself as a beautiful and strong woman, asking me to tie her up and cause her little amounts of pain, asking my permission for everything, this means that we aren't serious or interested in BDSM or that I should stop doing research on shabari and flogging, the fact that we have limits and fetishes that we aren't into, these things make us not real?
I believe the OP has some need for research himself, perhaps about himself as opposed to the lifestyle. No hard rules dictate a D/s relationship, in my mind, other then the fact that one person prefers to be in control and the other prefers someone to be in control other then themselves.
Perhaps I am wrong, however, everyone I've talked to, both online and irl, has validated everything I believe a M/s, D/s dynamic to be. My 'slave', as I so affectionatly call her, is my most prized and cherished possesion, and I do everything in my 'power' to make her realize that without her, I would just be another lonely pervert. >_< Her submission is her way of showing how much she cares about me, not out of some need for helplessness or lack of control. Because it is when she isn't in control that she is the most free, when she is doing the dishes or mopping the floor and I whisk her away for some playtime and while she naps I finish her work for her that she feels the most appreciated. Now I know plenty of doms that prefer to wait until the duties are done before playtime or would vehemently refuse to lower themselves to drying and putting away some dishes, even call me unDOMly or tell me I have no balls for doing the things I do for my slave, I say 'alright, thats your opinion, you are entitled to it, just as I am entitled to ignore it'
I think it is childish to have to put a hard label on everything so that you understand it and it doesnt frighten you anymore, childish and narrow-minded. No personal attack, I just encourage finding a bit more personal insight into what you're talking about and yourself before you make sweeping judgements and assume to tell 'new' users what they should think.
I'm only 23, so forgive me if I make some of the mistakes I ask others not to, I know I have a lot to learn, I just wish everyone would realize that there is no way to know every given thing about any given thing.
-Spider
BTW, yes I read the date before I responded, I just saw this as a possible real post that people need to read, not because of the OP's poor opinions, but because of the other users who have proven him wrong time and time again. Reading this whole thing doesnt make you a loser, however if you learned anything from the replys posted here, perhaps you needed toread it. I sure feel I learned something. I am planning on instructing my slave to read this and give me her feedback about the orginial post and all the responces. It is unhealthy to become stagnant or adopt the idea that you have learned all you need to. Growth is important for human beings.
And I wasnt responding to celticlord as the post says... Quite misleading at times...
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