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RE: Domme terminology? - 10/3/2007 5:18:49 PM

Decimus

Posts: 174
Joined: 9/17/2007
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Aw but having a lisp is what makes it so much fun, just like "Young Frank en steen"! "Yessssssss Myyy Masssterrrrrrrrrrr!"
or Vaderesque
"Yessss Misssstresssss."

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Post #: 21

RE: Domme terminology? - 10/3/2007 6:13:14 PM

PsyVamp

Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLynx

Calling someone Mistress, seems alittle impersonal.

Ah, but to hear it said..."yes Mistress" in a whisper from the right person does interesting things to my brain chemistry. *sighs*
I usually spell out Domme as only to not confuse people but agree with most on this post that the pronunciation using "a" at the end is most unpleasant.
I have taken to using Lady in all places except these boards (as here I have always been "Psy" so why confuse the issue?) I know who I am and I have nothing to prove to anyone except myself.

Psy

_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to LadyLynx)

Post #: 22

RE: Domme terminology? - 10/3/2007 6:56:47 PM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
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I have a very particular dislike for the term Domme pronounced as "dom-ay" The double consonant followed by a vowel is often seen in romance languages as a paricular distinction in the gender of the word. However it does not change the way the word is pronounced. I have these horrible incidents where I do something like call "dom-ay" an American butchery of gender distinction. People get mad at me and ask me all the lines of how old are you? How long have you been doing this?! Yadda yadda...when this comes down to language fact rather than lifestyle or culture. Then again I also prefere the terms D-type and s-tyle as that allows for wiggle room rather than strict "roles" as they are stated within conversation.

Well...that may have something to do with not indetifying as "submissive" or "slave" and getting called on or the other ALL the time. "Servant" seems to be a missing word these days. Anyways....

I generally stic with Miss or Ms So and So

< Message edited by BoiJen -- 10/3/2007 6:57:51 PM >

(in reply to MIstrezzTanya)

Post #: 23

RE: Domme terminology? - 10/3/2007 7:19:06 PM

MaamJay

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Joined: 9/2/2005
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Count Me in as another who hates Domm-ay ... it's Domme pronounced Dom! I remember My French lessons too! Unfortunately I didn't encounter Domina until after I'd got used to using Domme, but I like Domina too. I dislike Miss (been called that in one too many classrooms!) but like to be addressed as Ma'am, or My Lady, Mistress only by those who accept Me as THEIR Mistress. I had an Italian online pet for a while who called Me Padrona or mia Padrona (Owner, my Owner) and I liked that too!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to BoiJen)

Post #: 24

RE: Domme terminology? - 10/3/2007 7:48:10 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

UGH! Domm-A is so not a word. Makes me cringe.

Reading this thread, I can see how some of the new guys can just want to bang their heads in frustration. Just as there is no one version of protocol, there's no accepted terminology. I am only "Mistress" to those in my immediate family/household, and I kindly correct those who call me that when they shouldn't by saying, My name is Francine, please call me that, or Miss Francine. (I was Mrs Teacher in the classrooms...) I also happily answer to Ma'am. The dreaded ma'am! There are younger femdoms in the local scene who bristle in outrage if someone calls them that, since in their minds a "ma'am" is definitely an Old Lady. What's a boy to do when traditional courtesy terms are met with scorn and vituperation?

I use LH as my name here, but nowhere else, I think because plain Hibiscus was already taken at the time. I use Mistress in an email name, so folks will understand my orientation. I am content to be addressed politely by my name, or as Miss. I am only Mistress to a few, and I don't have a power exchange relationship with everyone I meet.

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[page 23 girl]

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Post #: 25

RE: Domme terminology? - 10/3/2007 8:37:00 PM

LaMistressa

Posts: 460
Joined: 12/4/2006
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I don't mind Domme, provided it is pronounced "Dom" vs. "Dom-may" or some other butchering. Domina is cool, although for some reason it makes me think of Battlestar Galactica or some sort of sci fi thing (I know...Latin/"Rome" - who knows how I got the other association stuck in my head?)

Ma'am is always good and appropriate. Mistress, for me, is for someone who is serving me and not for just anybody. Which of course, makes it my favorite.

(in reply to MIstrezzTanya)

Post #: 26

RE: Domme terminology? - 10/3/2007 8:46:41 PM

TatrixdEville

Posts: 20
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline

I prefer MiLady, Mistress and/or Tatrix. Those are very nice, IMHO. And I DESPISE Ma'am.

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Death before dishonor. Nothing before coffee.

(in reply to MIstrezzTanya)

Post #: 27

RE: Domme terminology? - 10/3/2007 8:50:31 PM

petdave

Posts: 2479
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MIstrezzTanya

I have to laugh. I thought I was alone is just generally disliking the pronunciation of Domme as Dom-may.

As seen on this thread, i don't know that i've ever encountered a Domme who pronounced the word as Dom-ay... It seems as though pretty much any time i hear it pronounced that way, it's being said by a male Dominant. Makes me cringe.

i do think there's a generation gap with regards to Ma'am... i can't say it without thinking of my grandmother, and it inspires that burst into tears/ tear their throat out reaction in my wife

(in reply to MIstrezzTanya)

Post #: 28

RE: Domme terminology? - 10/4/2007 5:12:30 AM

MsLilac

Posts: 151
Joined: 5/31/2007
Status: offline

For me, I am not overly enthused with ‘Domme’. Though I do accept that people use it as the most common acceptance of identification for a female dominant or top, therefore I use it. I am with the camp that is none to keen with the pronunciation of ‘dom-ay’. But far worse, I have heard it pronounced ‘dom-y’ or 'dom-ee' - that makes me cringe, very yucky.

I also agree that ‘Domme’ is very ‘fetishy’. I do prefer Domina, for reasons stated in the OP, but feel it has connotations similar to ‘Domme’.

Mistress is a no for me, I dislike the connotations with that also. I cringe yet again when strangers address me as Mistress. I am certainly nobodies Mistress! I feel it is both ‘fetishy’ again, but also, it has the old suggestion of a mans ‘bit on the side’. Though I accept that this is a common term also to aid identification.

I also am not fond of the term ‘Goddess’, actually, it is a bit of a pet hate of mine, though I will respect others 'right' to use it, and identification to it, each to their own. It’s just my personal opinion, but I do think it is disrespectful to those who are religious even though I am not. I also find it presumptuous, naïve and immature. When a man addresses me as ‘Goddess’, I think ‘fantasy wanker living in la-la land’. I personally refuse to address anyone as ‘Goddess’.

I was chatting to a man who identified as slave, a very long time ago now, but he sticks out in my mind. We exchanged ideas, and had a good dialogue, and found we has a lot in common. But he did have this tendency to refer to me as Goddess, I didn’t correct it at the time. But when we found we had loads in common, and I told him about my degree and various achievements, he turns around and says “See, I knew you were more that just a Goddess”…. JUST!?… WTF?

I do enjoy terms of respect like, ‘Ms’, ‘Lady’, Ma’am’, when first being approach by someone, just as I use terms of courtesy back. But in general I do not see the need, and offer my Christian name.

When in a scene, I like ‘Queen’. It is the closet system as to how I run my household as well, so I find it fitting. Lol, I also have anti-royalist tendencies, so the irony of using a term of nobility in association with a sub culture I find quite amusing, lmfao!

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(in reply to petdave)

Post #: 29

RE: Domme terminology? - 10/4/2007 12:24:20 PM

beeble

Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

thetammyjo wrote: I do not see the need to gender terms that are basically descriptions either of personality or role.

In this case, I think it's a useful distinction -- it's easier for somebody to say that they're looking for a Dom or Domme than a male Dom or female Dom. In most cases, there is a gender preference in there. Doesn't the same go for boyfriend/girlfriend?

(On the other hand, sub/subbe looks silly.)

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 30

RE: Domme terminology? - 10/4/2007 12:28:38 PM

beeble

Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

undergroundsea wrote: It's a trunk call versus a long distance call.

Telco technical documentation probably refers to them as `trunk calls' but the ordinary term in conversational British English these days would be `long-distance call', as in the US.

(in reply to undergroundsea)

Post #: 31

RE: Domme terminology? - 10/5/2007 12:14:57 AM

MistressDollysub

Posts: 11
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

It occurs to me that thr title that a Dominatrix chooses to be known by should simply be the one that She prefers.
In the final analysis i believe :
" A rose by any other name is still a rose"

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Post #: 32

RE: Domme terminology? - 10/5/2007 8:14:02 PM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

Domme (one syllable) is fine, and clarifies things when in mixed gender groups. I cringe at genderizations of words like "poetess," but Domme works for me, perhaps because it underlines the dynamic as man as submissive, woman as in control (which is not to say that I am a devotee of female superiority). It feels courtly, perhaps somewhat genteel. I identify with my femininity -- perhaps that is why I take pleasure in "domme." Other times I identify more with the control, and enjoy "dominant" more. My language usage in a given moment indicates which area I am operating out of more, as an undulating shifting of focus.

Domina sounds too much like domino to me. I just can't shake the association.

MSS

< Message edited by MySweetSubmssive -- 10/5/2007 8:15:07 PM >

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Post #: 33

RE: Domme terminology? - 10/5/2007 9:27:48 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Dear HelenaTroy, Ladies and Gentlemen,

I am another individual who dislikes the use of domme` which is often sounding like "dome-me, dom-a, dummie, dom-may, dom-me, etc. I am not a 'mommy dearest' so I like to avoid anything that is not in the dictionary myself.

I would not mind being referred to as a dominatrix if the association with pro-dominants and those who are less legally applying their kink-sex trade, was not so pronounced. It is more accurate but in the USA its twisted into a 'dirty word.' Madame, which is used even in HRH Queen Elizabeth II's correspondences within formal etiquette, in the USA is seen as a woman who runs a brothel. Being neither a illegal kinky sex professional and or escort and or a head of a brothel; it gives little choice for some.

For me, Lady is much more than a title for me. It is a state of behavior. This state is where I am comfortable.

Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to HelenaTroy)

Post #: 34

RE: Domme terminology? - 10/5/2007 9:28:07 PM

undergroundsea

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MySweetSubmssive
Domina sounds too much like domino to me. I just can't shake the association.

You have just given me a wonderful idea!

I am going to start a business! For pizza! Domina's Pizza!

I can just see it! The pizza is delivered by a woman dressed like a dominatrix!

When the customer answers the door she just throws the pizza on the floor and starts to hit him with a flogger!

Eat it you pig! Eat it off the floor!

The pizza will be microwaved Tony's Pizza from the grocery store. And it will be cold because it won't be carried in one of those thermal bags. And the menu will allow you to customize the toppings: dirt from her shoes, spit, etc.

I am such a genius when it comes to entreprenuership!

;-)

Cheers,

Sea

< Message edited by undergroundsea -- 10/5/2007 9:33:43 PM >

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)

Post #: 35

RE: Domme terminology? - 10/5/2007 10:05:25 PM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

Funny ... when I imagined Domina's pizza, I saw cheesy carbs brought to the door by decadently servile, foot licking men ... (gets a dreamy look in her eye)

MSS

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to undergroundsea)

Post #: 36

RE: Domme terminology? - 10/6/2007 12:31:26 AM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

~fast reply~ Well I am a Goddess, damn it *laffs*
Actually the Goddess is specifically used to indicate My style of Domination and some do refer to Me as such, but it is not required. It is not acceptable to refer to Me as Mistress by anyone who is not owned (with contract) by Me.
I like Domina, as it feels classy and correct and shows the divine feminine. For Me, that is the correct word and the one I use all the time when wrieding. But I do understand the usage of Domme and that it works in the written venue to specify gender. In ral time, it is prounounces the same as Dom, so who would know how you are spelling it in your head? *Smile* I instruct and am referred to or addressed in person, as Ma'am or Ms <insert My first name here>
I am with Lady Hugs on the Dominatrix thing. Although it is a perfectly acceptable and correct word, it has been twisted into something dirty and stereotypical. And I am never stereotypical!
*Waves to Francine...aka Lady Hibiscus. Good to see you again!

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)

Post #: 37

RE: Domme terminology? - 10/6/2007 5:40:48 AM

MissHarlet

Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline

I am a Dominant .. it has no gender to me... I prefer being called Lady ...... those that know me often call me Lady H even real time ... those that are close to me call me " Mi'lady" and those I own are allowed to call me " MY Lady" even in vanilla public.

I like the term Domina .. but also hate that so many think of a Pro when that is used. I strongly dislike being called Mistress and especially by those I dont even know ... I dont own them and Im not having an affair with them ( yes that shows my age lol ) .. so they are always corrected politely at first .. and asked not to call me that.

Goddess sounds pretentious to me so I dont like being called that as a title as long as they know I am one <wink>

All in all, I think it is just personal preference as is so much of this lifestyle, thank goodness.

As for confused submissives.. I think Miss ____ is probably a safe term of address to those they do not know .

_____________________________

Protectress of hearts/souls of all submissives calling Bounty's Place home, by order of Bounty~Proprietor

To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Post #: 38

RE: Domme terminology? - 10/6/2007 8:21:39 PM

DesireDeeva

Posts: 48
Joined: 10/5/2006
From: IN...livin in MI.
Status: offline

quote:

What term do you prefer and why?

I prefer "Domina" for the same reason the OP stated but my subs either call me goddess or ma'am, the word "goddess" has various definitions other than being a female deity, (for those who don't know,lol) and I do remember Atia from "Rome", luv the series...

quote:

Do the terms Domme and Domina have different meanings?

No...
Dominant, Dom, Domme, Domina, Dominatrix
The person who is in charge in a BDSM relationship. If the person is a male is called Dominant or Dom; if is a female is called a Domme, Domina or Dominatrix.

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This msg was brought to you in part by....Me, the sensual side of kink.

(in reply to HelenaTroy)

Post #: 39

RE: Domme terminology? - 10/7/2007 6:03:50 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

Domme is the bastardized of Dom---Domina is the correct term--I prefer Domina.

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Mistress Hathor

(in reply to HelenaTroy)

Post #: 40

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