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RE: How Do You Cope with Dissapointment? - 10/6/2007 7:37:46 AM

MissSCD

Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline

Life in general can be a disappointment depending upon who your parents are. weg
Don't misunderstand me. I love my parents, but they were so wrong.   My father has passed, and now I have to take care of my mother. At times she can be menally abusive. I cannot handle that.
I have to look for ways to vent my anger out.   Work is a wonderful place to go for me because most of the time, I have positive energy around me. That is what you need. You need positive energy.
I cry. I throw things.   But at the end of the day you have to ask yourself why and what is making me feel this way about myself; therefore, you owe it to yourself to find inner peace some how. Find our center, and go with it.
For me, my center is faith.

Regards, MissSCD

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 21

RE: How Do You Cope with Dissapointment? - 10/6/2007 8:27:17 AM

beeble

Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

GoddessAriana wrote: Do you feel that as Dominant Women we are held to a different set of standards than vanilla or submissive Women?

Well, there are a lot of people who have unrealistic expectations of Dommes.

quote:

Aren't we allowed to cry or be hurt or to be angry?

Absolutely you are. And in front of your sub, too. Dommes, at least the ones worth spending time with, are people, too and, if your sub doesn't understand that, well, you need to work out what to do.

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 22

RE: How Do You Cope with Dissapointment? - 10/6/2007 10:21:09 AM

MiladyElaine

Posts: 1086
Joined: 10/10/2004
Status: offline

We may be dominant but We still have emotions. I understand where you're coming from though. subs DO expect Us to be strong all the time in every way. It's just part of life finding out We're not as invincible as they want Us to be.
If they are going to be that disappointed in Us they can move on.
I deal in disappointment by doubling My efforts until it exhausts Me.
Then I take a break from this area altogether for awhile till I'm ready to start back.
Hang in there!

_____________________________

A crazy quilt is warm but oddly put together.

Milady

(in reply to beeble)

Post #: 23

RE: How Do You Cope with Dissapointment? - 10/6/2007 7:17:20 PM

DesireDeeva

Posts: 48
Joined: 10/5/2006
From: IN...livin in MI.
Status: offline

OP,

I think way too often domina's are viewed as being "something" as opposed to being "someone", we are human, we have feeling's, wants, needs,ect., I agree that disappointment sux but moving on tends to work best for me, I hope you find a solution that works best for you, just try not to get stressed out in the process.

_____________________________

This msg was brought to you in part by....Me, the sensual side of kink.

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 24

RE: How Do You Cope with Dissapointment? - 10/21/2007 11:45:20 AM

CollegeConundrum

Posts: 322
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline

Well I'm not a lady but this question is a no brainer.

Booze.

(in reply to DesireDeeva)

Post #: 25

RE: How Do You Cope with Dissapointment? - 10/21/2007 11:52:03 AM

secretplaces

Posts: 5
Status: offline

I am myself always.. so the day I want to beat the crap out of a woman who has bumped in to me just because I think she wanted my shoes... thats me.. the times when I see dogs being abused and I steal them out of that backyard that is me.. the times when I fuck the shit out of a executive man that has never had anything up his butt other than a finger..(not mine this situation) while whispering sweet lovlies in his ear that his anal expansion is for me.. thats me... the time that I cried like a baby as the submissive I loved got on a plane to leave our circle that is me...... just be yourself and have this wonderful energy you feel as your dominant side..domme self be part of you too... I am many complex things and my tears, laughter and sex and desire for power are just parts of me...

(in reply to CollegeConundrum)

Post #: 26

RE: How Do You Cope with Dissapointment? - 10/21/2007 11:53:41 AM

MistressCJ1960

Posts: 9
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline

I look at achievement and disappointments this way.

Disapointments are the result of thinking too far into the process. For an oversimplified example -- say you decide to walk 100 miles. You set out, and don't make it. You feel failure. However, If you set out to walk, and think 100 miles may be a good goal, however you simply focus on each step you take - one after the other. When your feet finally give out from under you and you look back at how many steps you HAVE taken, instead of the ONE step more you couldn't take -- it was one step you failed to make, not the 100 miles.

In other words, don't set goals and challenges without deciding the steps that it takes to get there-- then relish the steps along the way, not the final destination.

Remember, no one can make you feel bad without your concent. Of course we all have emotional days, cry days, angry days. Hell we are women -- millions of years of conditioning doesn't change overnight!

Stay strong, break down your goals and ambitions and look only as far as your next step.

< Message edited by MistressCJ1960 -- 10/21/2007 11:54:37 AM >

_____________________________

With best regards,

Mistress CJ
___________________________________

"It's not the size of your dreams that determines whether or not they come true, but the size of the actions you take that imply their inevitable arrival." www.tut.com

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 27

RE: How Do You Cope with Dissapointment? - 10/22/2007 4:23:16 AM

MsCfromMelbourne

Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

All great ideas above, so I will only add one

I know its hard to do when you have the "why me....yet f*cking again????" blues, but helping someone else can work wonders.

I volunteer and it makes me feel good about my life, even when nothing seems to be going my way in my private life. Reach out to other people. Give and you will receive.

_____________________________

<----- Corset, mask and collar designed and manufactured by metalsmith Karl H, chromed and lined in black suede. Masks and collars available from http://www.lucreziadesade.com.au/default.html. Corsets custom made only

(in reply to MistressCJ1960)

Post #: 28

RE: How Do You Cope with Dissapointment? - 10/27/2007 5:36:23 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

The 90/10 Principle
http://www.irastimes.org/The_90-10_Principle.htm

10% of life is made up of what happens to you.
90% of life is decided by how you react.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to GoddessAriana)

Post #: 29

RE: How Do You Cope with Dissapointment? - 11/16/2007 6:39:51 AM

PrincessKatana

Posts: 1
Joined: 11/16/2007
Status: offline

Right or wrong, I deal with disappointment by making everyone around me so miserable they don't have a choice but to "fix" things for me, or at least distract me with sparkly objects.

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 30

RE: How Do You Cope with Dissapointment? - 11/17/2007 4:40:23 AM

Dragynsfury

Posts: 79
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

LMFAO at PrincessKatana. Good idea. I recently had a disappointing experience with what I thought was THE sub for me and came to this post to see how others dealt. I've been beating myself in the head with frustration. Good advice. Hope all are having a good time with these crazy holidays coming and NOT having to cope with too much disappointment.

_____________________________

The artist formerly known as OnyxGoddess

(in reply to PrincessKatana)

Post #: 31

RE: How Do You Cope with Dissapointment? - 1/6/2009 5:30:11 PM

analqtip

Posts: 6
Joined: 6/12/2008
Status: offline

diappointments are only are own faults
making the right decision is the key

waiting on the right one is a sure sign of getting that perfect solemate

(in reply to Dragynsfury)

Post #: 32

RE: How Do You Cope with Dissapointment? - 1/6/2009 5:42:02 PM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: analqtip

waiting on the right one is a sure sign of getting that perfect solemate

Especially if he's a foot fetishist.

I listen to Beethoven's seventh symphony when I'm upset. It's hard to feel negative emotions in the presence of something so exhilarating.

(in reply to analqtip)

Post #: 33

RE: How Do You Cope with Dissapointment? - 1/6/2009 5:51:12 PM

MsFlutter

Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline

All the responses are awesome !!

After I finished throwing a (tiny) fit and dried my tears, I went shoe shopping, spent some time at the local shooting range to de-stress,visited the local humane society and cuddled some critters that had bigger issues than I did...

and THEN I went for a manicure :)

_____________________________

'Dont torture yourself, Gomez darling. That's my job' Morticia Addams

"The right data, filtered through an idiot, can yield a bad answer." einstien5201

(in reply to GoddessAriana)

Post #: 34

RE: How Do You Cope with Dissapointment? - 1/6/2009 5:59:42 PM

Reigna

Posts: 334
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

I cope by means of a dialogue such as the following:

ME: This is SO wrong! This is horrible! I'm disappointed! I'm crushed! I'm in pain!
ME: So, why should you be different from everyone else?

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 35

RE: How Do You Cope with Dissapointment? - 1/6/2009 6:40:44 PM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

OP - Chocolate.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to Reigna)

Post #: 36

RE: How Do You Cope with Dissapointment? - 1/7/2009 11:12:20 AM

SnugasaBug

Posts: 49
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline

OP - Without knowing the degree of your disappointment, I would say, take a long look and try to recognize the difference between something you can change, and something you cannot. That's half the battle. Once you know your contribution to what went wrong, if any,you can change your approach, and grow in the process.

Things you have no control over, you just let go. (after some of the therapies described above :) )
Btw, you are allowed show emotions too.

Snug

(in reply to GoddessAriana)

Post #: 37

RE: How Do You Cope with Dissapointment? - 1/7/2009 11:53:03 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I am a human being first and foremost, a woman secondly but none the less.

I have my own personal standards that have nothing AT ALL do with with my dominance or sexuality. If a sub/slave wants to attempt to hold me to standards other than those I've placed of importance to me, too bad for them. They will not last long in my company.

The rest is just life. You live it and try to find the most joy possible.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to GoddessAriana)

Post #: 38

RE: How Do You Cope with Dissapointment? - 1/7/2009 1:17:46 PM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

OP - Chocolate.

That's what I was thinking, specifically Ben and Jerry's Brownie....hmmmm

in the park with a friend if you can hook that up too.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to MsStarlett)

Post #: 39

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