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RE: What would you do if... - 10/5/2007 3:39:30 PM   
LeatherBentOne


Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline 		Any submissive I take anywhere knows beforehand how she will behave.  I make this very clear and give them written do's and dont's on behavior in public, non-BDSM and BDSM environments.  (This also helps me to be consistent.) They are then given some examples and quizzed on hypothetical situations.  They are also aware that should they transgress in public in a BDSM setting, they will be corrected and/or punished, depending on the severity, and in public, since they embarrased me in public.  In a non-BDSM setting, the issue is addressed immediately when we are in private. 

My submissives are advised what they have to look forward to regarding correction and/or punishment beforehand, as well.  They are encouraged to as for clarifiction when my instructions are unclear to them at the time they are given or they don't understand why correction or punishment would follow certain behaviors, but in this case only afterward, relieving them of the burden and consequence of trying to be manipulative. 

So . . . with this scenerio, I would correct and/or punish in public immediately, although I seriously doubt the scenario would take place, either in a public or semi-private environment.  I insist that my submissives control their impulses, especially their mouths, be it public or private. 

Personally, Ive found that the compulsion to speak and mis-speak to be the greatest downfall of an otherwise excellent submissive.

LBO

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: What would you do if... - 10/5/2007 3:42:52 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		Fast Relpy
depends on so many factors not  covered.
What are the codes of behaviour given to both subs - is she allowed to behave in this way? is he allowed to defend himself?
wht is the code of practice for dealing with such situations at the play party? -
etc etc etc - so many factors
if i was Domme, i would defend my property or give it specific instructions to defend itself in an appropriate and seemly manner. I wouldn't own someone without enough intelligence and understanding to apply those rules for themselves in an appropriate way.
I would also then appoah the other Dom/me and explain that the situation was displeasing and either the sub is reined in ... or accepts that consequences will follow that may not be pleasant (whatever those may be)


_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: What would you do if... - 10/5/2007 3:49:01 PM   
amelliagrace


Posts: 1792
Joined: 8/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

Your a Dom/me and you take your sub/slave to a play party. Your sub/slave has an intense dislike for submales, it is so bad in fact that she purposely singles them out to start arguments with. Mind you others at the party are watching what is happening. The submale may have a Dom/me at the party who isn't at their side at the moment. He (the submale) may decide he isn't going to allow your sub to treat him badly.

What do you as her Dom/me do? Let her continue because you also view all submales as worthless worms who gave up their "natural" dominance to grovel at someones feet? Do you yank her back into line and force her to apologize plus enforce some form of discipline? or do you stand by and do nothing? Do you step up to the plate if he (the submale) decides he isn't going to take anymore of her lip and verbally blasts her? Just what would YOU do in this instance?

Disclaimer: I in NO way consider submales weak, worthless or worms. Most are some of the strongest men I've ever met. The language just seemed to fit the scenario.

~Lashra

.
1.  Demand her immediate , public, apology, first to the sub male, and then to his Dominant, then stand her ass in the corner, facing the wall, for the rest of evening.
 
2.  Upon returning home, send her to bed.  Ignore her until cool enough to discuss the situation with her, going over the myriad reasons such behavior is completely inexcusable.
 
3.  Have as little contact over the next 24 hrs as possible, while deciding whether or not to grant a second chance, or terminate the relationship.
 
-grace


(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: What would you do if... - 10/5/2007 3:52:59 PM   
HisCompletely


Posts: 53
Joined: 10/1/2007
Status: offline 		I personally would not talk to any male Dom or sub unless I had permission. I would be polite and say hello, but that would be the extent of it.

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: What would you do if... - 10/5/2007 3:57:01 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear Lashra, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
That behavior is very rude regardless of the role and or gender.  I would be embarrassed and would have that person escorted out and I would pay for their cab ride home.  Hopefully this person would apologize for behavior however, I have had some cases where people with a personal agenda maintain a guise of the 'ultimate' slave in order to gain entry into circles as to spread their vile manure.  I would apologize to my host/hostess and the guests.
 
Unfortunately, other individuals have been victimized in a similiar way.
 
Just some thoughts.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: What would you do if... - 10/5/2007 3:58:14 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Im with the not socalizing wiht someone so socialy inept.
HOWEVER since I did have a girl like this who I had no idea would be quite so caustic when allowed in company... I can tell you what I did do.
She started an argument with a sub boy who used to be mine, and had since been released and had found a wonderful new mistress. She said something along the lines of his being a disappointment to her becasue she must have been settling to keep my discards.  I overheard the last part of it.  I happened to have been very fond of him, we separated becaue of schedule problems, not incompatibility.

She was shoved down over the bar, her hands were pinned behind her, and I covered her mouth with my free hand. I told her if she wanted to be able to sit that night she would get on her hands and knees and beg him for forgiveness. In front of all the sub girls she was trying so desperately to impress, no less. I then sent her out to the car, and let her sit there for the rest of the night. I enjoyed my friends and the rest of the evening.

DV



_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: What would you do if... - 10/5/2007 4:48:51 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline 		Bad manners are never permissible.  If my slave were to behave thusly, she'd be getting lots of practice with the words "I'm sorry" and a seriously red backside.

_____________________________



(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: What would you do if... - 10/5/2007 5:48:21 PM   
MistressDoMe


Posts: 295
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline 		I would think some serious correction was in order.
I would also question any Dominant that continued to stay in a relationship
with a submissive, that acted like this.
How a submissive acts is a reflection of the Dominant that owns him or her.

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: What would you do if... - 10/5/2007 8:08:46 PM   
MzticStormz


Posts: 59
Joined: 3/19/2005
Status: offline 		It would happen only once.   I would be shocked if anyone that I had with me as my guest or submissive would ever do such a thing. I would remove them from the party, I would apologize to the host and the male sub's Dominant as well as the mail sub (with his Dominant's permission) first in person and then again via email if I felt the need for it and I would reassure them that this would never happen again.
  
That would be the last time I would have anything to do with this "submissive"
Personally I see a submissive and / or a guest as a reflection of me. Neither should be so arrogant and if they were, they no longer nor will they be a future submissive or guest of mine.

Lashra I hope this did not actually happen to you, and that you are posting this as a topic for discussion.



(in reply to MistressDoMe)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: What would you do if... - 10/5/2007 8:55:46 PM   
iammachine


Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline 		Having a dislike for someone does not justify poor behaviour, especially in public. As my submissive, their actions reflect back upon me as their dominant. That is exactly the opposite of what I consider to be my standard of etiquette and I would be appalled at such a display. It's one thing if someone is nasty to you and you defend yourself, it's another thing tojust flat out be a snarky bitch.

If someone I was with was being an ass, I'd reel them in, take them aside and give them quite a tongue lashing. I would also expect them to apologize for being out of line to the offended party. I have zero tolerance for rude behaviour and prejudice, so I would seriously be considering whether or not that is a person I want in my life, much less be seen in public with.


_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: What would you do if... - 10/5/2007 9:40:08 PM   
MistressPurpleFL


Posts: 112
Joined: 10/2/2005
Status: offline 		I have never had this happen to me and I feel sorry for any slave/sub of mine who would even try this stunt. 
There is a time and place for everything but respect is important. 
 
Strictly,
 
MP

_____________________________

"Life is too short to stay in the missionary position" By Mistress PurpleFL

"Nothing caresses like a suede whip in my hand; now let me touch you all over." Be me

"Smile at me with your eyes as you KNEEL to serve me with your HEART!" By me

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: What would you do if... - 10/5/2007 10:01:33 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

Your a Dom/me and you take your sub/slave to a play party. Your sub/slave has an intense dislike for submales, it is so bad in fact that she purposely singles them out to start arguments with. Mind you others at the party are watching what is happening. The submale may have a Dom/me at the party who isn't at their side at the moment. He (the submale) may decide he isn't going to allow your sub to treat him badly.

What do you as her Dom/me do? Let her continue because you also view all submales as worthless worms who gave up their "natural" dominance to grovel at someones feet? Do you yank her back into line and force her to apologize plus enforce some form of discipline? or do you stand by and do nothing? Do you step up to the plate if he (the submale) decides he isn't going to take anymore of her lip and verbally blasts her? Just what would YOU do in this instance?

Disclaimer: I in NO way consider submales weak, worthless or worms. Most are some of the strongest men I've ever met. The language just seemed to fit the scenario.

~Lashra

.




I'd haul her ass in line so fast she'd travel back in time.

Regardless of her personal feelings, there is absolutely zero excuse for behaving that way.  Basic adult and courteous behavior is expected at all times unless deliberately provoked, and even then in most cases.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: What would you do if... - 10/6/2007 1:12:10 AM   
obis


Posts: 412
Joined: 9/9/2005
From: Austin, TX, USA
Status: offline 		I can't imagine I'd ever invite someone to a party, much less be in a relationship with them, if they had an aspect to their personality that made them think it was appropriate behavior.

Unless there was some sort of medical reason for her behavior, after the apologies she'd be sent home with her belongings and told to lose my phone number.

(in reply to RumpusParable)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: What would you do if... - 10/6/2007 6:32:32 AM   
DocRudy


Posts: 153
Joined: 9/19/2007
Status: offline 		~fast reply~

Rude and out of control behavior, particularly in public, is not tolerated. There may have been underlying reasons for the outburst, but the end result is severe punishment and rigorous training to ensure the incident doesn't happen again (assuming that this is only the first time, of course).

It's the sort of social embarassment that a dom/me shouldn't have to put up with.

-DR

(in reply to obis)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: What would you do if... - 10/6/2007 7:42:07 AM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline 		i think insisting on an immediate public apology to the submissive and (if applicable) his Owner, followed by immediate removal from the party, would be appropriate- being sent to sit in the car, or on the ground outside if practical. Having that little control in a social situation would require serious discussion in private afterwards to find out what the fuck they're thinking.

As a male sub, if faced with something like that i would walk away... i don't like confrontation. If they want to rant at me and look foolish as i'm walking away, that's fine. My wife would certainly counter-attack on my behalf, and she's not someone to mess with in a battle of wits.

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: What would you do if... - 10/6/2007 8:18:01 AM   
MstrDennynSlave


Posts: 181
Joined: 9/6/2007
Status: offline 		If I were to ever act this way at a party my Master would have me tied to the nearest table, bench, what have you, my backside bared, and spank me soundly. Then I'd be made to apologize to whoever I had offended, and their Master/Mistress. Then Master would remove me from the party, to sit by myself, in the car, or outside to think about what I'd done. I would also have to apologize to the Host/Hostess.

I cant even imagine acting this way at a party, or in public period. As was stated before, we all have our prejudices, but we must learn to control our actions in public. Master would also seriously consider whether or not I would remain his slave.

(in reply to petdave)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: What would you do if... - 10/6/2007 8:38:14 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

Your a Dom/me and you take your sub/slave to a play party. Your sub/slave has an intense dislike for submales, it is so bad in fact that she purposely singles them out to start arguments with. Mind you others at the party are watching what is happening. The submale may have a Dom/me at the party who isn't at their side at the moment. He (the submale) may decide he isn't going to allow your sub to treat him badly.

What do you as her Dom/me do? Let her continue because you also view all submales as worthless worms who gave up their "natural" dominance to grovel at someones feet? Do you yank her back into line and force her to apologize plus enforce some form of discipline? or do you stand by and do nothing? Do you step up to the plate if he (the submale) decides he isn't going to take anymore of her lip and verbally blasts her? Just what would YOU do in this instance?

Disclaimer: I in NO way consider submales weak, worthless or worms. Most are some of the strongest men I've ever met. The language just seemed to fit the scenario.

~Lashra

.



Having had both male and female submissives gives me a bit of insight to the question on one hand. However I have not personally notice such behavior or attitude among the women's I've trained or played with.

Frankly I consider anyone who's purposely start someone with another person simply because of role, race, gender, sex, age, etc, to an unacceptable partner for me. If she (or he) did something like this in public and I would immediately go up to her and say "you are out of line; we are leaving".

Then we'd have a discussion about it. If she had such beliefs she would cease to be in training with me and I would no longer consider her any sort of potential play partner, probably not even a friend or acquaintance. I find that attitude so unacceptable in my world.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: What would you do if... - 10/6/2007 8:55:58 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		to me, and this is solely my personal opinion, i believe it takes a high level of emotional maturity, to play in the BDSM arena, if some one i was playing with acted like that Dom or Sub, i would see that as a barometer of where they are at mentally, and naturally have nothing to do with them.

i say natually because our energies would not mesh....and they would be as repelled by me as i would be by them....no confrontation nessasary

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: What would you do if... - 10/6/2007 9:01:31 AM   
MissHarlet


Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline 		I would immediately step in ... put a stop to it .. make sure she apologized to the other sub .. his Dominat.. the Hostess and to anyone else that had been in hearing of this disgraceful behaviour.

I would them remove her to sit in the car until I chose to leave .. and no matter how much I was going to leave early .. I would stay a long time... then when home we would discuss it .. then she would be sent home forever.

I do not tolerate rudeness from anyone... especially someone who's behaviour reflects on me. 

All of this is assumeing I would have had so little knowlege of this person prior to makeing her mine.  She would have to have been a very proficient liar and actress for me to have made her mine in the first place.

_____________________________

Protectress of hearts/souls of all submissives calling Bounty's Place home, by order of Bounty~Proprietor

To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: What would you do if... - 10/6/2007 9:10:17 AM   
NorthsideBill


Posts: 37
Joined: 3/11/2007
From: Indianapolis, Indiana
Status: offline 		This is something that should be dealt with LONG before it gets to the situation presented. I would totally lose any and all respect for any Dom/me who allowed their property to behave this way. That really goes for any person regardless of who or what they are who behaved this way. Its ignorant and crass. If my subbie did this she would be jerked very firmly back into line and apologize to all involved very profusely and if she did it again then she would probably lose her collar. 

_____________________________

"The only way to remove a temptation is to give in to it"
- Oscar Wilde

(in reply to MissHarlet)
Profile   Post #: 40
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