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Black Master/Dom/me...White submissive/slave - 7/26/2005 2:31:26 PM

MstrHellsFury

Posts: 388
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

trying to come up with something new it occured to me..hey use yourself as an example...so here goes...although I'm a veteran lifestyler...(over 30 yrs)...I've come across this many times...not trying to stir a hornets nest here..just wanting feedback...I know we all have preferences in who we want to be with..that's a given...but if we truely seek only the best to provide, protect,cherish,etc...why do so many limit that by saying...I only want a white dom/me..or I only want a black dom/me...why not become color blind and seek only the best one possible...and is limiting who you look for a limit to your potential...

Fury

Post #: 1

RE: Black Master/Dom/me...White submissive/slave - 7/26/2005 2:53:50 PM

anopheles

Posts: 241
Joined: 6/23/2005
Status: offline

Fury,

Damn good topic to raise!

I am a Black Dominant as well. I think there are a lot of reasons why things like this happen. I personally don't feel that you should limit yourself on the basis of race, color, gender, etc...because you'll probably miss your One if you do that. Still, some people are very drawn to the still taboo aspects of interracial relationships. It's probably not always for the right reasons, but to each his own. I've met numerous white women (vanilla) who had a negative experience with a white man, and subsequently became involved with a black man, and since have no attraction to white men. By the same token, I know black women who have had the opposite experience. I read something interesting somewhere also (don't remember where), that some people have an intense fetish to touch on these old, ingrained social taboos (White woman being taken by a big Black stud or White man submitting to a strong Black woman). This wasn't how society said it was supposed to work, so it turns some people on.

BTW.. Not trying to limit this to a Black/White issue..just throwing out examples.

(in reply to MstrHellsFury)

Post #: 2

RE: Black Master/Dom/me...White submissive/slave - 7/26/2005 3:16:18 PM

luvdragonx

Posts: 388
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

My .02 on why people specify. First, we don't live in an ideal world where everyone is color blind. It's a nice thought, but that's not the reality of today. We all have experiences that shape our ideas on what/who we like and are attracted to. Or we could just be wired to find certain characteristics attractive. I had a friend tell me that he thought caucasian and black skin had different textures, so he developed a preference.

On the subject of people who specifically seek same race partners, this is what I think. Taking into consideration that we all want to feel comfortable in our journey into the unknown, people may specify because they are naturally more comfortabe with a certain type of person. If you had grown up in a predominantly black environment, it stands to reason that you would be uneasy entering a D/s relationship with someone Asian. Some of us (myself included) find joy and fulfillment in learning about all sorts of people. Others would rather stay in their comfort zone and surround themselves with people like themselves. I can understand that it's easier going into such a deep relationship with someone who has a similar background and 'gets' the things that are specific to a particular race. For example, because of my hair and skin, I don't spend a lot of recreational time in water. I can't just have a 'shower scene' without 2 hours of hair care shortly thereafter, lol.

On the subject of people who specify a different race, it may be as Anopheles said - social taboos and personal experiences may shape who they want in their lives. Or they are chasing some ideal and really have no clue.

_____________________________

Never Without Love

(in reply to MstrHellsFury)

Post #: 3

RE: Black Master/Dom/me...White submissive/slave - 7/26/2005 3:27:13 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

For some people it truly IS what they prefer. Some people don't want uncircumsized men, some people only want Christians, some people only want mountain climbers.

As long as you are honest in your preferences, go for it.

(in reply to MstrHellsFury)

Post #: 4

RE: Black Master/Dom/me...White submissive/slave - 7/26/2005 5:20:44 PM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

....geez.... and some subs ... gosh - only want to have a relationship with - wait for it - DOMINANTS! By the thoughts given, submissives and Dominants should be open to all age, colour, gender, orientation....

I wouldn't particularly feel able to submit to a person under 5'5 - does that make me heightest?

And blonde men - don't know why - can't deal...

Or men without a piercing or at least one tat....

And they gotta have a pet of somekind....

And like music....

Peace and Love

(sorry not posted directly to Em - she just had the best photo....)

< Message edited by dark~angel -- 7/26/2005 5:21:19 PM >

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 5

RE: Black Master/Dom/me...White submissive/slave - 7/26/2005 5:41:32 PM

stormsfate

Posts: 849
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

And blonde men - don't know why - can't deal...

OMG, and all this time I thought I was the only one...lol.

f

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 6

RE: Black Master/Dom/me...White submissive/slave - 7/26/2005 6:25:02 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

For some if not most, ppl go with what they want rather than what is best for them. As for stating what they want in there profile, there are all sorts of reasons for having personal preferences.

In the issue of race, some ppl just perfer the color or perhapes the different feelings in hair and smell. It has also been observed that most black people give off a more aura of intemidation when compared to others of there same buid, height, etc.. I may want to have a black female submissive for the act of using different types of humiliation. Perhaps I'd like to do an 1800's slavery scene and wanted to be as realistic as possible. The infamous "N" word wouldn't have the same effect on a white submissive.

Other ppl just like to be different. Either way, it's always about whatever floats your boat. But on a last psychological aspect, a white person who has views of regret about there 4 fathers, may feel ashamed of there acts and want to try and atone by serving as a slave to a Black Master. A black submissive may have read stories of slavery and torure only to find there self fantasizing the moment and want to relive them.

As for me, race and gender has not been an issue with those I've been with. This is a good conversation that you've brought up and this is the best information that I can give you. Your post also reminds me of a boot camp story once told to me by an army friend:

First day in the barraks and already a white redneck the trailers and a black gansta from the projects were arguing and about to come down to blows. All of a sudden, the big 6'4 250lbs black drill sergent stomps in with a deep voice "What the HELL is going on!" Everone stops and is quiet. He then yells out "I don't give a damn what color you were. From here in all of you are now GREEN!"

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to MstrHellsFury)

Post #: 7

RE: Black Master/Dom/me...White submissive/slave - 7/26/2005 6:26:35 PM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

Race and gender has never been an issue with me... I am colorblind in every respect of the word.

quote:

And blonde men - don't know why - can't deal...

Ok, I used to be that way... bad experience with a blond man once.... then I met Scooter... the most incredible long blond hair I have ever seen and it's attached to an awesome man...

quote:

If you had grown up in a predominantly black environment, it stands to reason that you would be uneasy entering a D/s relationship with someone Asian. Some of us (myself included) find joy and fulfillment in learning about all sorts of people. Others would rather stay in their comfort zone and surround themselves with people like themselves.

You make an excellent point, so much depends on the environment you were raised in and how willing you are to step out of your comfort zone. As far as I'm concerned, the difference are only what people choose to see and not necessarily real differences.

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to MstrHellsFury)

Post #: 8

RE: Black Master/Dom/me...White submissive/slave - 7/26/2005 6:53:20 PM

Mylee

Posts: 217
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stormsfate

quote:

And blonde men - don't know why - can't deal...

OMG, and all this time I thought I was the only one...lol.

f

Nope, your not alone, it's me too *nod nods*

(in reply to stormsfate)

Post #: 9

RE: Black Master/Dom/me...White submissive/slave - 7/26/2005 7:22:14 PM

MstrHellsFury

Posts: 388
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

I'm excited that some have the courage to step forward and present views on this thread...it wasn't meant to bring out any views but honest ones..for better or worse it's life...but the intent was to bring about a topic little talked about but very present within this lifestyle...something fresh and new to discuss... please continue...let's see what's really happening in our lives..how about our views...this is for those ladies who feel sometimes they aren't really heard...we're listening...and guys...stop being shy..is that really what's on your mind...

Fury

(in reply to Mylee)

Post #: 10

RE: Black Master/Dom/me...White submissive/slave - 7/26/2005 8:18:29 PM

luvdragonx

Posts: 388
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

I'm really glad you brought it up. I started thinking about my own experiences in seeking new friends/relationships in the D/s scene. At one point I was frustrated because 98% of the contacts I recieved were from Dom/mes who weren't black. Granted, I didn't state in my profile that I was looking for a particular race of person, because I didn't want to limit my options (ironic, huh?) Then it hit me: limiting myself to only black Doms OBVIOUSLY would make my experience here unfulfilling. I wouldn't be talking to ANYONE. I've been fortunate to correspond with some really cool and interesting people. It also occurred to me that the people who have read my profile and responded with interest are the ones I want to hear from, no?

edited for typos and a sticky L key

< Message edited by luvdragonx -- 7/26/2005 8:42:41 PM >

_____________________________

Never Without Love

(in reply to MstrHellsFury)

Post #: 11

RE: Black Master/Dom/me...White submissive/slave - 7/26/2005 9:15:50 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

I have a wonderful black sub (who are rare for cultural reasons.) It's hard not to notice, lol, but color wasn't a preference in my profile, nor in his.

Still, if it *is* a preference, for whatever reason, as frustrating it is to see it (similar to all the guys who complain about Dommes only looking for women), I fall on the side that it's better to be honest up front.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to MstrHellsFury)

Post #: 12

RE: Black Master/Dom/me...White submissive/slave - 7/26/2005 9:21:25 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

My daughter just married a black man and we couldn't be happier about it. We love him dearly. For some reason she has only dated black men since she went to her senior prom with one 12 years ago. I do worry about how they will be treated, not everyone is accepting of interacial marriages.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to MstrHellsFury)

Post #: 13

RE: Black Master/Dom/me...White submissive/slave - 7/26/2005 11:51:49 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Actually the topic usually gets discussed in the "men only wanting skinny chicks" threads. People get REALLY riled up over that one.

(in reply to MstrHellsFury)

Post #: 14

RE: Black Master/Dom/me...White submissive/slave - 7/27/2005 5:32:32 AM

tinkJH

Posts: 180
Joined: 5/22/2005
Status: offline

I've always been colorblind, and never cared about age. I'm not really a looks kinda girl, I go by personalities. It doesn't matter if your Brad Pitt or Wesley Snipes. If we can't mesh our personality. No point in being with you. If we have a personality that meshes, but we can't find a physical attraction to eachtother - at least I have a new, close friend and not just a "really hot ex."

When Master and I began talking and met.. our personalities were so meshed, that I was just completely enthralled with him. It was this way for.. oh geeze, like 8 months - which, I sent him pictures of me - without a second thought as to even ask him for one. Then just, one day, after we'd been in the o/l relationship for a year, talking on the phone.. he just went. "Have I told you before that I was black?" In the middle of a conversation we were having. I went. "nope" and continued on the conversation. He said, later on, that I actually surprised him. Apparently, the last girl didn't take it too well. It was after that of course I wanted a picture, I was completely and utterly in love with him by then, and still am :)

all I can say, my momma raised me pretty damned good.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 15

RE: Black Master/Dom/me...White submissive/slave - 7/27/2005 5:57:10 AM

Faramir

Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline

Color matters to me in intimacy.

My sister is black, and black women, well, remind me of my sister. I don't want to fuck and slap my sister. It isn't logical, but at some gut level black women "feel" like my sister, and that just isn't sexy.

I can remember bouning at a club called "NYC Jukebox" in Bosoton in the 80's and having one of the dancers, extreemely hot, come on to me, kissing her (softest lips I have ever kissed) and just feeling...wrong.

Three out of my four kids are black or darkly blended, but that doesn't factor into it all.

(in reply to tinkJH)

Post #: 16

RE: Black Master/Dom/me...White submissive/slave - 7/27/2005 6:17:02 AM

RosaB

Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline

I've often been asked in general messaging, do you like white men, my answer is always, I like men. For me this applies to any and all my relationship interactions. I could care less what ethnicity someone is, dating, friendships. The funny thing is I've never had a d/s encounter with a black submissive male, not so much by choice it's just been men outside of my ethnic group that contact tack me most often for dating and or d/s relationships. I do admit, when someone asked me would I want a black man as a slave, I thought, hmmmm, no at that moment, because of the history of slavery in the US, but as I became more involved in the life I realized, this has nothing to do with the type of slavery that existed all those years ago. (Side note And as much as I like spanking a plump bottom, how could I resist a black man's A). ; )

I won't lie and say I've always been color blind in my dating preferences, but for the last 15 years or so, my views on dating other ethnic groups changed dramatically after my first interratial dating experience. And I'm sure many can understand why a woman of African-American heritage might have had misgivings about dating white men, especially in the US. It wasn't so much that I was against interratial dating, I just never considered it as an option way back when. There were way too many taboos in my mind for myself to cross that line. I am so far from that uptight, inhibited person, (don't laugh,) I used to be.

And with that all said, I do still respect the right of others to pick and choose according to their comfort zone. Just like with fetishes, there are just certain things about a potential partner, for some, certain tectures, colors, features etc. highten their desire naturally. Like some stated about a preference for darker hair color, I too like brunettes, but if Brad Pitt were to offer up himself to me, I'd forsake all other men. LOL, um he just happens to be my fantasy man . Go figure.

Correction, Brad Pitt, he, just happens to be one of several of my fantasy men) Not the topic so I won't list them all. : )

Rosa

< Message edited by RosaB -- 7/27/2005 6:21:04 AM >

(in reply to tinkJH)

Post #: 17

RE: Black Master/Dom/me...White submissive/slave - 7/27/2005 6:23:09 AM

COYoungDom

Posts: 14
Joined: 7/24/2005
From: Westminster, CO
Status: offline

I didn't bother reading all the posts because I'm sitting in my math class right now but i want to say my thing.

Ok,I'm a mixed black/white Dom. Here on the site and interracial stuff hasn't really affected me in any real negative way in my life and its a part of my life as I know...Of course i don't live in the deep south.. But anyways. When preferences and desires for certain people are out in the open and in the highway, I honestly don't think racial status should really be an issue. The comment of certain people have a negative experience with a certain person understandable but i see it as unrealistic to single out a single group entirely when there are many more out there that will not do the same. Take me for example if some other submissive had a bad experience with another mixed male Dominate of black and white decent and i end up getting singled out for destruction and i by chance have no chance of starting a relationship with her, yet I'm a nice guy, respectful and wouldn't brutally harm a fly(only spiders...i hate spiders lol). And she knows this and understands me and all that i will not do what that other guy did, yet refuses to give it a chance.

Ok now onto the age issue. Now I've been struck down here many times. 18 just doesn't seem desirable to many submissive apparently. Yeah theres a certain age where there really shouldn't be any interest. 40s is reasonable. To me right now I am interested in people my age(18) to 30. right now that just seems desirable to me and it would save my roommates some wellfare issues...whatever those maybe. I'm just putting My roommates into consideration on this subject because they aren't part of the lifestyle. Once my lease goes out and i find a new apartment...I'm all open.

Overall. Everyone should be open to everyone. Give everyone some kind of chance. might like it.

_____________________________

Continuously wondering and journeying the Earth for the one will call Him Master.

(in reply to tinkJH)

Post #: 18

RE: Black Master/Dom/me...White submissive/slave - 7/27/2005 8:26:44 AM

anopheles

Posts: 241
Joined: 6/23/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Faramir

Color matters to me in intimacy.

My sister is black, and black women, well, remind me of my sister. I don't want to fuck and slap my sister. It isn't logical, but at some gut level black women "feel" like my sister, and that just isn't sexy.

I can remember bouning at a club called "NYC Jukebox" in Bosoton in the 80's and having one of the dancers, extreemely hot, come on to me, kissing her (softest lips I have ever kissed) and just feeling...wrong.

Three out of my four kids are black or darkly blended, but that doesn't factor into it all.

See to me, this counts as a valid reason to have a racial preference. If black women remind you of your sister, that's not really your fault. Like you don't have a choice of being gay or straight, you just are. What bugs me is when people say I ONLY date black people or I ONLY date white people or whatever, and they really haven't looked inside themselves to figure out exactly why that is..

(in reply to Faramir)

Post #: 19

RE: Black Master/Dom/me...White submissive/slave - 7/27/2005 8:51:56 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: anopheles

See to me, this counts as a valid reason to have a racial preference. If black women remind you of your sister, that's not really your fault. Like you don't have a choice of being gay or straight, you just are. What bugs me is when people say I ONLY date black people or I ONLY date white people or whatever, and they really haven't looked inside themselves to figure out exactly why that is..

While I agree that introspection is better than non-introspection, I don't really care what reasons people have for what preferences they want. While I might find bigotry insulting, whether it's due to age or race or whatever, that's a universal issue and nothing to do with personal preference.

When it comes to choosing a partner, we get the privilege of whatever picky little things we want, however irrational they may be.

(in reply to anopheles)

Post #: 20

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