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RE: how important are appearances.....really? - 7/27/2005 10:58:03 AM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline 		I'll chime in here as well - it is not shallow to be attracted to...who I am attracted to. Hell yea I care about her looks - if she wasn't hot I wouldn't want her as my salve. Of course, if she wasn't giving with a servant's heart, a painslut, etc I wouldn't have matched up with her. We want what and who we want.

I will add in that I see beauty as an attractive endowment. You didn't get to pick your genes, your talents, your intellect, etc. I didn't pick to be this tall or this complected.

If she thinks I'm "beautiful," great, but I know it doesn't accrue any credit to me - it is an endowment, a blessing. Any of those "born with" traits are nice but I don't mistake them for virtue.

NB A virtue, a state of character, may well enhance an endowment. She chooses to keep her body in good shape and burnish her beauty. I may have been born with this body and frame as chance - but I choose, as a habit that creates a state of character, to put the hours in lifting weights and sprinting to maximize my potential.

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: how important are appearances.....really? - 7/27/2005 11:28:50 AM   
dommemagnet


Posts: 134
Joined: 10/6/2004
Status: offline 		One more for you fastlane. Looks and appearance are important to everyone here whether they choose to admit or not. Most don't even read the boards but surf the profiles looking first at the pics. There's another thread concerning the importance of posting photos. Gee, wonder why? Some might say, "I just want to know what the person on the other end of the keyboard looks like" but I don't believe it's entirely true. Are we shallow? Maybe but as others have already noted, each of us is aware of the facial features, body type, height, eye color, etc. that make their motor rev so why fight years of evolution?

Appearance is important to me. Call me shallow

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: how important are appearances.....really? - 7/27/2005 12:48:15 PM   
DarkVoyeur


Posts: 26
Joined: 12/13/2004
From: Wet Coast Canuckland
Status: offline
Wow, honesty in a BDSM forum .... I'm stunned

Appearance is always important, but that doesn't always mean supermodel. I have an "ideal" of course, but I am not only interested in that ideal.

I happen to be a big fan of small breasts for example, but sometimes I like to play with breast bondage, and let's face it tiny titties aren't great for that. F0or me alot of it depends on the dynamic. IE if she is just a play partner, then appearance is less important. For a relationship though, it becomes as important as everything else that will form the dynamic of the relationship.

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RE: how important are appearances.....really? - 7/27/2005 1:35:41 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: feline
It's a matter of pride for me. If "you" don't have enough pride in yourself to maintain your appearance and health, what makes "you" think I will have any in "you"?

No problem with that thought, except when people equate "maintain your appearance" and "health/taking care of oneself" with being small. I look damn good (well most times, lol)...
I don't expect to be everyone's idea of a Goddess, but trully there shall be no others before me, even as I acknowledge other hot women. M

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""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

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RE: how important are appearances.....really? - 7/27/2005 2:45:46 PM   
luvdragonx


Posts: 388
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		True dat. I have a knee jerk reaction to phrases like 'if you take pride in yourself, you maintain your appearance'. Probably because, as you said, some people think Maintaining Ones Appearance = Thin. To look at me some might think 'she needs to put down the burgers and ice cream and get on a treadmill', when in fact I eat healthy, exercise as much as I can stand to (I hate working out), and I get a clean bill of health every physical. I find it interesting that the American ideal body image tends to run a lot thinner than other countries.

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RE: how important are appearances.....really? - 7/27/2005 3:21:11 PM   
stormsfate


Posts: 849
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I find it interesting that the American ideal body image tends to run a lot thinner than other countries.


Huh? Tell that to the Europeans...lol. Have you ever looked at French women???

As to the question at hand, yes, appearances are important to a degree, but I look at the whole package. An example that was spoken of earlier is that I'm generally not attracted to men with fair hair. They would have to work twice as hard to get my attention no matter how good the rest of them looked, simply because it would never cross my mind to be interested.

With that being said, if someone had the strong personality and the mental outlook that touches the core of me, it wouldn't matter if they were 3 feet tall with bright orange hair, no teeth and a small.....well anyway (my owner says I am lying when I say that anyway, so I'll just leave it at that).


best regards,
fate

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RE: how important are appearances.....really? - 7/27/2005 3:41:41 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stormsfate
if someone had the strong personality and the mental outlook that touches the core of me, it wouldn't matter if they were 3 feet tall with bright orange hair, no teeth and a small.....well anyway (my owner says I am lying when I say that anyway, so I'll just leave it at that).
fate

Fate, you have got to be kidding, I'm with your owner on this!
I agree it's crazy to be specific about appearances, but it really does come down to "chemistry."... Something about that someone has to make your body/mind/soul react, otherwise it doesn't work (I don't think). M

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""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

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RE: how important are appearances.....really? - 7/27/2005 3:44:55 PM   
luvdragonx


Posts: 388
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		Ok, ok, I'll give you the French

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RE: how important are appearances.....really? - 7/27/2005 5:27:27 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		I hear that French Women hold their liquor (Licker) by their ears?

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: how important are appearances.....really? - 7/27/2005 5:27:51 PM   
subcheryl


Posts: 280
Joined: 11/2/2004
Status: offline 		If by appearance you mean the way they are built, I guess I have no problem with that, I have been with men who are tall, dark and handsome, and after being with them for half an hr just couldn't stand to be with them, than have been with the shorter, chubbier ones and stayed with them for months, and I have had them in between. Now if you mean the way they present themselves, as in keeping neat, clean body and hair and nails, trimed beard, mustache and such yes that is a must for me, ex use to take very little pride in his appearance that way and it was a turn off, I am not saying I am a fashion model, but I work with what I have, not the most expensive clothes, but they are clean, pressed and color matching, and my hair is always clean, yes there is also their personalities that play into this, and the way they treat you but these things you don't know about until, you are with them, Master is skinny in my books but I love his tush, and he knows it, we just had a discussion along these lines this past weekend. So I guess, physical (height, weight, type of thing) aren't important, but the upkeep is.

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: how important are appearances.....really? - 7/27/2005 6:01:48 PM   
luvdragonx


Posts: 388
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		Hmmmm......that's not where I hold my licker..

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: how important are appearances.....really? - 7/27/2005 6:56:02 PM   
softandshy


Posts: 297
Joined: 5/10/2005
Status: offline 		Maybe this is odd, but two of the biggest physical attractors for me are hands and voice. i also really like a person who is vibrant and alive; that's how i define "healthy". The actual body shape means less to me. i don't normal "see" assistive devices and that's already gotten me some strange reactions from people.

However, i will not meet with a person twice unless they show that they can think. Yes, i am an intellectual snob. It isn't really about education though. We're not talking about looking for brain surgeons or someone who is never goofy or doesn't ever do anything dumb (i value the ability to play and be young very highly), but some capacity for introspection and reflection will go a long way.

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RE: how important are appearances.....really? - 7/27/2005 7:02:55 PM   
MstrHellsFury


Posts: 388
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		I know this is going to go over like a lead ball but here it is anyway...growing up I had to deal more with the color issue..therefore I had to take into conderation that others were looking at that fact first with me...in the adjustment processes in my head I had to find a coping supercell...so to be what I am today I put aside looks and concentrated on the person before me...as hard as it may seem to most to believe...I don't really have a gadge for looks...so everyone looks ok to me...I guess I'm the odd man out on the planet because I don't have a looks issue...

Fury

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: how important are appearances.....really? - 7/27/2005 7:06:18 PM   
Mylee


Posts: 217
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		I'll admit it, I'm shallow,I do not like blonde men...I dunno why or where it comes from...I'm not saying a blonde deosnt have a chance 2with me, I wouldnt turn the Master of my dreams away (if I was looking) because he was blonde but my eyes would go to a dark haired man faster if a blonde and a brunette were standing in the same room...

I could redeem my shallowness and go on about how I feel chemistry and the like are important and how personality wins out, but that's been covered by others and said better then I could say * smiles*

my'lee

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: how important are appearances.....really? - 7/27/2005 7:08:10 PM   
MstrHellsFury


Posts: 388
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		please..it's been a long and tiring day..no typo police...

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: how important are appearances.....really? - 7/27/2005 7:28:39 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Looks can be important, especially for the first meeting. Subconsciously, we do take in and react to visual input just as we do with smell and taste. (I’m not going there ). If the “Look” is not right is may be harder to get through to the person you are meeting, but we all know that. So when we talk about looks or appearances, are we looking at the body shape of the person? Is that person obviously deformed in some way? Why in blue blazes should this be so important. I guess we all have our fantasy type of person we’d love to have. Sheesh just look at the “Beach Babes” and tell me if most Doms wouldn’t love to have her in a collar. For me, give me a a couple of them on a leash and wearing a micro skirt, high heels and a micro top and let me lead them into a BDSM club or munch and watch the looks on the faces of the other Doms! Hell a man can dream cant he? Ok back to reality. I have a wife who like me is on the larger size and when we go out I love watching guys come near to breaking their necks watching her.. She has presence. I had a trik in my collar at one time. Now she was on the larger side of things and she had disabilities. I was proud to take her out especially as she loved to be leashed in public. Her personality was wonderful. Gawd help it if any one had treated her like she had been in her own country about her disabilities, y’all know what a pissed off male grizzly is like … she was mine and to hell with the rest of what people thought.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: how important are appearances.....really? - 7/27/2005 7:33:43 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

please..it's been a long and tiring day..no typo police...


“Build a bonfire! Build a bonfire!
Put the Typo Police on the top,
Put the Spelling Nazis on the bottom,
And burn the bloody lot!”


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to MstrHellsFury)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: how important are appearances.....really? - 7/27/2005 7:52:26 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Speakin of looks....everything is lookin good to me tonight...even that big ol Iron Bear.

which presents another topic...anyone done it bear style?

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Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: how important are appearances.....really? - 7/27/2005 7:57:11 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrHellsFury

I know this is going to go over like a lead ball but here it is anyway...growing up I had to deal more with the color issue..Fury

Not sure why you think you had to deal more with the color issue.

I grew up in a town that was 90% black, a school of about 1000 students, and was one of five white girls in my class. I learned about color issues very quickly and was highly sensitive to it.

Now, it's not at all the same as being born in, living it and dealing with it every day and every way...but I certainly understand the sensitivites.

(in reply to MstrHellsFury)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: how important are appearances.....really? - 7/27/2005 7:58:48 PM   
quietkitten


Posts: 1082
Joined: 2/5/2005
From: Alberta, Canada
Status: offline 		I guess everyone has the right to consider appearance important if they choose to.
I look the way I look and I refuse to change to suit anyone else. If I choose to alter my appearance, it is my decision alone. I don't have time for someone who judges me solely on my appearance.

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The number 1 cause of stress is reality.

I miss my old Avatar :(

<< I am a depressed procrastinator with Alzheimers -- I am going to end it all.... tomorrow... or the next day.

Now what was I talking about again?

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Profile   Post #: 40
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