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ORIGINAL: SirSix72

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More's the pity because its just one more wall a man who really is interested in them has to batter down. Sometimes you women put yourselves so high up in ivory towers we just can't reach you no matter how sincere we are. And there are also a lot of women in this lifestyle who don't seem to know what to do with a man who does actually care about them, shows real affection, etc. I see more profiles of women wanting to be treated like objects by sadists who will simply use them than I do women who both want love and know how to accept it. BTW, before someone says it, I'm not saying being a sadist and loving is mutually exclusive, it isn't. But, looking at many of the profiles you get the impression that there are a number of women out there who have this fantasy image of this cruel, uncaring, sadistic dom who doesn't show affection and will simply use them. Not my cup of tea, but to each their own I guess.

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ORIGINAL: Delvin

Life and love. Happiness and equality.

The dating scene, the singles scene, the....what can I do to get a mate....

Most of the time my question to a slave is, "Why do you seek love in a Master" ?

Most of the answers are... "So I can be respected for the gift I am giving"...

huh ? excuse me while I feel ill.

Your a slave, expect to do whatever... I do mean whatever it is, your Master wishes. Will you like it ? not always. Will you have problems doing it ? Perhaps until you learn the right way your Master wishes. Will you love your Master ?. Yes, IF you see yourself as what you claim to be, a slave there to serve a Master and make his life and needs always come first. Always.

What I find interesting most times is the preset notion that to be a slave is to be that kinky lil girl dressed up in silky clothes, laying in bed at that perfect seductive pose and the words just screaming to leave the girls lips, "come to me Big Boy".

Think about this....You have been up all day, work was a nightmare and everything that could go wrong did. You left work and as you pull up to the driveway you realize you forget to pick up the laundry. Too late as the Master is outside working on the car and sees you, you compose yourself and greet him. Upon mentioning that you forgot to get the laundry, mind you your Master has not asked "how was your day ?", he tells you to go inside, strip and kneel facing the wall until he comes in.

You walk into the house, strip and kneel, feeling all the weight of the days events, your body aches from work, your mind is racing trying to stay focused one what "MAY" come and still not a hug, a kiss or a "how was your day dear?".

Your Master walks in, takes you by the hair and pulls you into the room(dungeon, bedroom), and bends you over his knee. You feel the first sting on your ass as he begins to explain your error. Because you failed to get the laundry, he must now wear something else perhaps not appropriate for the meeting in the morning, instead of finishing the car he is sitting here explaining your error and instead of kissing you, he is spanking you. You have managed to take away the very thing you claim to "give". Yourself to your Master for his pleasure.

Afterwards, the punishment is over, he tells you to get dressed and start dinner, STILL not asking how your day was, and he goes back outside to finish working on the car before the sun goes down.

So tell me,

Do you still love him, respect him and want to serve him ?

Perhaps asking for this life might require understanding what it is your asking for in the first place. Put romance, long walk in the parks and childish butterfly kisses away. When those things do happen, it makes the experience that much more enjoyable and rewarding.

Have a great day A/all

D

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ORIGINAL: slavedesires

The truth is that men just want to fuck you. That's all they are interested in. If they couldn't fuck us, they wouldn't have us.


Oh?
And I though they had us to cook for them too.

Kasia

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ORIGINAL: JustaTop

Lil word of advice to the op here. If you dislike players,don't play-at least initially.

You want a relationship? Insist on developing that FIRST-those who won't stick around are then weeded out. Simple enough?

All it takes is some self-control and the willingness to stay single, until you DO find someone who suits you. BUT,if you find that the need to "play" ovecomes your ability to use common sense,well...........

The one common factor in all of your dysfunctional relationships would be YOU!

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ORIGINAL: slavedesires

The truth is that men just want to fuck you. That's all they are interested in. If they couldn't fuck us, they wouldn't have us.


Oh?
And I though they had us to cook for them too.

Kassia

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The truth is that men just want to fuck you. That's all they are interested in. If they couldn't fuck us, they wouldn't have us.

A bit harsh and certainly not true! You have a serious problem if you actually believe that. Of course we want to fuck, but after the heads hit the pillows many of us would rather have someone we shared common interests, goals, passions, lying next to us.

As for "love" , Not a good emotion to begin a relationship on.

Sartoris

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ORIGINAL: slavedesires
So my question, i guess is, what comes first...the relationship or the play (yes after some trust and respect is established) because is it not basic (foundational) to this lifestyle to find out if the play part is even compatible with the relationship??


For me? The power dynamic comes first chronologically, though not in priority.

In order my priorities are...

Structure.
Power Dynamic.
Relationship.

I will not sacrafice my structure to keep power, nor to keep a relationship.

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ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures

Well, i am blessed with many Men friends inside and outside of BDSM, and they treat me well without looking to have sex or dinner served. They are wonderful Men.....

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I can understand where alot of subs/slaves come from in the fact that they are looking for more than what most Dominates/Masters are looking for but this gives no reason once again to place yourself upon that high ivory pedstal.

SirSix72

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I can understand where alot of subs/slaves come from in the fact that they are looking for more than what most Dominates/Masters are looking for but this gives no reason once again to place yourself upon that high ivory pedstal.

SirSix72

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ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

shy,

in reading your replies, it is as I thought it would be! you stirred up the old hornets nest.

Ever hear of the mind? Yes there are horndogs in this lifestyle that as you say just want to fuck you, that part is nature and is found on our path as well as vanilla.

However, the experienced Dom/Domme will akways go for the mind first and if there is a fit there, then the body will enjoy the pleasures of that "D" A pussy is a pussy a thousand times over but the mind that controles that pussy is what is to be dominated.

CP