quote:

ORIGINAL: AllforFun

I dont know how many other subbie guys there are out there with this problem, but it is a major one for me. I suppose it's society's standards, people's expectations, and my desires all colliding head on.

I am not a small man, a weak man, etc. I am the complete opposite. In almost all respects I am an alpha male. I am a natural leader among other men, I speak my mind when I feel that I must, and I dont ever take a back seat to anyone's lead. I am the type of guy that most people look at and say, "ok, lets not tangle with him." I am not bragging, its just a fact. I do not in anyway appear to be submissive.

And yet there is the call. The beck of the Moon Goddess and her leash which can tame the savage beast within. The need to be at Her feet.  I guess I have always thought of it like, "strong men need their strong women." I dont know if that makes any sense or not, but im trying to explain here.

I have had several instances when women find submissive men to be quite comical. I think society in general finds it to be comical. I dont know why, but it bothers me. It is even worse for me because everybody expects the total opposite of me( I am a big guy). I know that they are thinking, "how in the world can he accept that?!" etc.

I know I am generalizing here, but I have had several instances where this accepted standard and view of things has impacted me. I have had fem subs look at me and actually be angry at me because I was a sub and not a Dom. I am so frustrated with this that Im about to just try to ignore these desires.  

Have any of you guys had to deal with this? If so, how did you cope with it? How did you get it to just roll off your back? And to the Mistresses, have you had any subs like this and what did you do as a couple to deal with it? Do you hide it? Do you say screw the world and if you dont like it, I got this hulk sub who will bite you if I say so? lol.... Im kidding, but seriously, how did you overcome the pre-conceptions?

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

This is one of the best sub ads I've ever seen.  If I were a Domme, I'd do you.  Not one single woman has called you out on crying because your situation is too awesome for you to handle, most of them are cheering that a man like you exists... and you're getting indicators of interest all over the place.

But seriously.  This is not a stereotype that should be generating any petulance from you.  It's too bloody useful when you need it, and too easily ignored when you don't.  I'm not small at 5'11"/6'0", and I usually hang around even bigger men... and if one of us wants to be a pussycat, then he usually gets love for it from the ladies and no more male-bonding crap bombs than anyone else does.  I'll tell you about Andre sometime, that man was more 'pussywhipped' than K-fed, and he was a mountain.  And he was beloved by all.  I cannot find an ounce of pity for you anywhere in my soul.

I'd really like to bust on you for writing this (more than I am), but it's working.  And I have a healthy respect for success.  If I get single again any time soon, I'd like to consult with you on writing an advertisement as effective for the male Dom population.  Then again, I'm doing ok with that... between the two of us, we could open a shop or something.  Let me finish laughing at these Dommes, though, for taking the bait.  (In the friendliest manner possible, I know this guy's prime goods for you and worth ignoring a theatrical flourish or two to flirt with.  And I appreciate your positions, I really do.  But I think it's funny as hell.)

Cheers

Edited for snark clarity... it's 6:30 am, and I've been hauling rope around since 6:30 YESTERDAY.  So a few typos and randomly conjoined sentences/words are a given. It's like being drunk, but with less pickling.  Cheers again.  ^_^

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Well, he is only sorta prime goods, being an infant of 22!  And what bait?  Is he mocking us with his manliness?  <le sigh>

quote:

ORIGINAL: AllforFun

quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

This is one of the best sub ads I've ever seen.  If I were a Domme, I'd do you.  Not one single woman has called you out on crying because your situation is too awesome for you to handle, most of them are cheering that a man like you exists... and you're getting indicators of interest all over the place.

But seriously.  This is not a stereotype that should be generating any petulance from you.  It's too bloody useful when you need it, and too easily ignored when you don't.  I'm not small at 5'11"/6'0", and I usually hang around even bigger men... and if one of us wants to be a pussycat, then he usually gets love for it from the ladies and no more male-bonding crap bombs than anyone else does.  I'll tell you about Andre sometime, that man was more 'pussywhipped' than K-fed, and he was a mountain.  And he was beloved by all.  I cannot find an ounce of pity for you anywhere in my soul.

I'd really like to bust on you for writing this (more than I am), but it's working.  And I have a healthy respect for success.  If I get single again any time soon, I'd like to consult with you on writing an advertisement as effective for the male Dom population.  Then again, I'm doing ok with that... between the two of us, we could open a shop or something.  Let me finish laughing at these Dommes, though, for taking the bait.  (In the friendliest manner possible, I know this guy's prime goods for you and worth ignoring a theatrical flourish or two to flirt with.  And I appreciate your positions, I really do.  But I think it's funny as hell.)

Cheers

Edited for snark clarity... it's 6:30 am, and I've been hauling rope around since 6:30 YESTERDAY.  So a few typos and randomly conjoined sentences/words are a given. It's like being drunk, but with less pickling.  Cheers again.  ^_^

ermmm... where to begin with that....quite frankly I dont know, its just too damn cynical. Your implying that I didnt start this thread because I view this as a problem, but as bait for Dommes?

That was not my intention, though I have enjoyed their opinions and flattering comments, but I was truly interested in this topic so please don't derail the thread with conspiracy theories on how Im laying traps for the Dommes. You have just made the assumption that women are just TOO sentimental and Im just some cool guy who seduces all the women, lol.

I was quite serious and the Doms are a big part of this problem as well because they perpetuate these stereotypes. The Gorean types especially cannot stand a male sub, it totally destroys their theory on "natural order" a.k.a male superiority. The only way they can explain the phenomena away is by saying that subbie guys are practically a freak of nature or "haven't learned their true place yet."

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact After reading this little part of the exchange, I had to wonder just a bit.  Has it ever occurred to anyone else out there that maybe part of the problem is that male Dominants hold just a bit of jealousy against male submissives?  Not for their position in life or whatever else is thrown into it, but for the very fact that they hold the attention of the female Dominants?  I'm not saying this is the drive behind this particular case, as the person who was quoted first specifically states that he is "not single" but what about times when they are?
 
I don't intend to hijack the thread, but it is something to think about.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact After reading this little part of the exchange, I had to wonder just a bit.  Has it ever occurred to anyone else out there that maybe part of the problem is that male Dominants hold just a bit of jealousy against male submissives?  Not for their position in life or whatever else is thrown into it, but for the very fact that they hold the attention of the female Dominants?  I'm not saying this is the drive behind this particular case, as the person who was quoted first specifically states that he is "not single" but what about times when they are?
 
I don't intend to hijack the thread, but it is something to think about.

I believe that is very relevant to the discussion because I'm sure many of the dominant ladies on here can attest to the fact that a large number of male dominants have contacted them & not all of them call upon them speaking about their desire to have them submit nor that they have a desire to submit to them... but more along the lines of how they would like to have a dominant woman as a partner.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact After reading this little part of the exchange, I had to wonder just a bit.  Has it ever occurred to anyone else out there that maybe part of the problem is that male Dominants hold just a bit of jealousy against male submissives?  Not for their position in life or whatever else is thrown into it, but for the very fact that they hold the attention of the female Dominants?  I'm not saying this is the drive behind this particular case, as the person who was quoted first specifically states that he is "not single" but what about times when they are?
 
I don't intend to hijack the thread, but it is something to think about.

I believe that is very relevant to the discussion because I'm sure many of the dominant ladies on here can attest to the fact that a large number of male dominants have contacted them & not all of them call upon them speaking about their desire to have them submit nor that they have a desire to submit to them... but more along the lines of how they would like to have a dominant woman as a partner.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AllforFun

I dont know how many other subbie guys there are out there with this problem, but it is a major one for me. I suppose it's society's standards, people's expectations, and my desires all colliding head on.

- snip -

And yet there is the call. The beck of the Moon Goddess and her leash which can tame the savage beast within. The need to be at Her feet.  I guess I have always thought of it like, "strong men need their strong women." I dont know if that makes any sense or not, but im trying to explain here.

- snip -

Have any of you guys had to deal with this? If so, how did you cope with it? How did you get it to just roll off your back? And to the Mistresses, have you had any subs like this and what did you do as a couple to deal with it? Do you hide it? Do you say screw the world and if you dont like it, I got this hulk sub who will bite you if I say so? lol.... Im kidding, but seriously, how did you overcome the pre-conceptions?

I wanted to reply to this last night, but was too tired after a very long day.  It's only the expectations you place on yourself and at some point in time, the ones that come from your Mistress, that will matter; not to forget those that are necessary as part of getting through life.  Only maturity and introspection will eventually bring you to that realization.  In choosing to live this lifestyle, you're choosing to live one that goes against the grain of society and what I'll refer to as the "common standard".  In doing so, why should you care about that common standard?  IMO, you shouldn't, as it really no longer applies to you.  People may have expectations of you, but it's up to you to decide whether or not to accept them as your own.

You're a young man who is still learning who and what you are all about.  I'm one who's content and happy to have discovered that I can be loved for being who and what I am!  It wasn't always that way for me.  I sincerely hope it will be for you.