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What experiences has anyone had with free rides, hidden... - 10/7/2007 8:36:56 PM   
wewantaslave


Posts: 32
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I was told that its rare that anyone would actually admit that they were taken. But I think its a good topic to see what the heck to do about it.

When the person says all the right things and does everything right.  Then when its all settled they move in they change. I am talking about a hidden agenda.  I have heard everything to not being able to beat a person to lift a finger to being used as free labor with nada in return. Also the dynamics of all relationships in the home being jeoperdized because the person is not what they played to be in the beginning. Home wreckers and abusive owners. Both ways!

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RE: What experiences has anyone had with free rides, hi... - 10/7/2007 8:39:54 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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Time reveals all agendas.  Most people just don't give it enough time, or choose not to see.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: What experiences has anyone had with free rides, hi... - 10/7/2007 10:04:25 PM   
diphyes


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Joined: 10/5/2007
From: Room 302
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One can trust only their own perception in these matters. I've been taken advantage of in different ways. Notice the past-tense. All you can do is learn, and keep your eyes open. Most people are too stupid to hide trecherous thoughts and behaviour properly for very long; but most people are also unwilling to see that which they do not wish to be.

_____________________________

Many are the wand bearers;
I bear with me no sign;
Yet, I was mad, was drunken,
Ere yet I tasted wine;
Nor bleeding grape can slacken
The thirst wherewith I pine;
And the god, the true Iacchus,
Hears now this song of mine. - Edith Thomas

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RE: What experiences has anyone had with free rides, hi... - 10/8/2007 12:52:06 AM   
txgirlneedsister


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edited.

< Message edited by txgirlneedsister -- 10/8/2007 12:56:01 AM >

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RE: What experiences has anyone had with free rides, hi... - 10/8/2007 12:58:48 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
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All my rides have been free.

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RE: What experiences has anyone had with free rides, hi... - 10/8/2007 1:27:18 AM   
dcnovice


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quote:

What experiences has anyone had with free rides?


Kind friends give me rides to the beach, which I very much appreciate. I usually insist on buying lunch, though.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

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RE: What experiences has anyone had with free rides, hi... - 10/8/2007 2:48:20 AM   
RRafe


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There are moochers put there who use all kinds of excuses to try and get free rides-both tops and bottoms. Make it clear that no one rides for free-and enforce it.

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I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

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RE: What experiences has anyone had with free rides, hi... - 10/8/2007 7:12:28 AM   
LaTigresse


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I inform everyone immediately that they will be expected to work for a living, just like I do. That alone tends to weed out most. Then, if I still have a weird feeling about them, I tell them they will be expected to move nearby while maintaining their own home in a "get to know one another phase". That usually is the last I hear of them.

The reality is that if I can manage what needs to be done in my home while being gone 12 hours a day, 5 days a week, then I certainly do not need someone there 24/7. Also, my home is my haven. It is very special to me. I am very very careful about who I allow free access in it.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: What experiences has anyone had with free rides, hi... - 10/8/2007 8:09:50 AM   
wewantaslave


Posts: 32
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You all have awesome points of veiws! thanks, and love the laughs. :)

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RE: What experiences has anyone had with free rides, hi... - 10/8/2007 8:12:24 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline
There are people in both roles and genders that are insincere. From the male dominants who want a no effort cook, clean and fuck robots to female dominants who want to be spoiled with no effort or intimacy (sex). From the female submissive looking to trade cooking, cleaning and some spanking for not having to work to male submissive not really wanting to serve but just looking for kinky sex and of course probably a bunch of other examples.

Insincere people are everywhere and not just in this life. That is why almost everyone’s advice is the same, go slow and the proof is in the actions not the promises.



_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

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RE: What experiences has anyone had with free rides, hi... - 10/8/2007 11:37:47 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
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From: NYS
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And of course there are people who are sincere but who find that 24/7 is a lot more difficult to cope with than is one weekend a month. Or who develop homesickness, depression because of loss of job and support system etc.

Just because it didn't work out doesn't mean that you bear no blame and they are 100% evil. Unless they're Ted Bundy types, that is rarely the case.

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RE: What experiences has anyone had with free rides, hi... - 10/8/2007 11:49:46 AM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
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From: Portland, OR
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We all have agendas.  The question isn't if the agenda is hidden or not, the question is if the agendas are compatible or not.

Stephan


_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

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RE: What experiences has anyone had with free rides, hi... - 10/8/2007 1:47:16 PM   
wewantaslave


Posts: 32
Status: offline
Lying to get there is not questionable?  Pretending to be someone your'e not is ok as long as you can pull it off?  ok. lol I am suprised that messing up a family or life is compatible, and for who?  The one doing the damage? 

So what is your agenda here?  :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

We all have agendas.  The question isn't if the agenda is hidden or not, the question is if the agendas are compatible or not.

Stephan



< Message edited by wewantaslave -- 10/8/2007 1:49:54 PM >

(in reply to Stephann)
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RE: What experiences has anyone had with free rides, hi... - 10/8/2007 1:59:05 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wewantaslave

Lying to get there is not questionable?  Pretending to be someone your'e not is ok as long as you can pull it off?  ok. lol I am suprised that messing up a family or life is compatible, and for who?  The one doing the damage? 

So what is your agenda here?  :)



Having been lied to, and having dealt with people taking advantage of me, I can say that I was most vulnerable to other people hurting me, when I was willing to ignore reality over fantasy.  I could have continued to blame everyone else for my misery, but I'm glad that I have realized that the person with the greatest amount of control over my happiness and and success is me. 

Eventually, you'll either decide that your unhappiness is your own and take steps to make yourself happy, or you'll continue in the same patterns of unhealthy relationships you currently experience.

Stephan


_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to wewantaslave)
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RE: What experiences has anyone had with free rides, hi... - 10/8/2007 4:09:29 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

We all have agendas.  The question isn't if the agenda is hidden or not, the question is if the agendas are compatible or not.

Stephan



oh god the pain of irreconcilable (spelling?)  diaries

(in reply to Stephann)
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RE: What experiences has anyone had with free rides, hi... - 10/8/2007 5:07:33 PM   
wewantaslave


Posts: 32
Status: offline
Currently we are having a very good experience. We have had our ups and downs but doing very well now.  With the live in now, we have had no hardships and are happy with how everything is going. Its with a person who had visited before, and we each gave the other time to look around to make sure its what we wanted. 

spelling?  my bad! that I dont think I could ever fix on my own! :)

< Message edited by wewantaslave -- 10/8/2007 5:08:10 PM >

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RE: What experiences has anyone had with free rides, hi... - 10/8/2007 5:13:05 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline
I can sympathize, I just released a slave that walked the walk and talked the talk and even moved in employed.  What wound up happening was that my hubby wound up doing a lot of her chores because she was "working" and it increased his workload even more than when he was only taking care of me.  I do not blame anyone but myself though, as I usually see through facades.  When they have themself fooled too though, and think they believe they want certain things, then reality hits and BOOM! all of a sudden it isnt so peachy, the only thing to do that I know of is what I did:  get them outta your house as friggin fast as you can.  We have grown ums and grandums that we thought about so kept the drama down on our end, but yes, with family One is always worried about damage control.

I agree with Stephann though:  we all have agendas...I wanted a slave in my home to serve me..mine was an open agenda, I think her agenda was hidden from herself...hope you have better luck next time!!!

edited to add; we were typing at the same time, lol.  Glad it's working out better this time!!!

< Message edited by kc692 -- 10/8/2007 5:14:03 PM >


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This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

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RE: What experiences has anyone had with free rides, hi... - 10/8/2007 5:16:05 PM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
What's the fun and point in keeping one's Agendas a secret any ways.  I think everybody has an Agenda, a Goal, a Mission or Direction they want out in life.  I don't have an issue with anybody with an Agenda. 

Secret or hidden Agendas are a bitch to deal with, because it misleads and keeps the other person guessing.   If your agenda is hidden, you'll never really get what you want.  It's pretty self defeating in the long run.

If it's somebody agenda to own a slave and have her do all the housework, let it be known.   You just might find what you are looking for.   If you just want to use somebody for XYZ, you might find somebody who will give you XYZ if you can give them ABC.   Even more so, considering the BDSM lifestyle itself.  Where people are seeking out one another to consentually use and abuse each other. 

Some people might enjoy paying all the bills and taking care of somebody, you might bring or give them a sense of purpose in life.   Some people might enjoy cleaning house and domestic service, it gives them a sense of purpose in life.  Somebody might enjoy being controlled and micromanaged in life, It brings them a sense of purpose in life.

Why bother hidding Agendas, when you can get them out in the open and find what you really are looking for.

Some people baulk when topics such as Financial Slavery come up.  However, for somebody out there, it would give them a sense of purpose in life.  A reason to actually hold down a job and work.  What brings or gives one person a sense of purpose in life is different for another.

Even me, while I don't understand why a person would want to become an "one type" of Slave 24/7 somewhat baffles me, I still have to accept the fact, that it gives them a sense of purpose in life.  

For some people, a little girl to nuture protect and guide, gives them a sense of purpose.   Just as much as it for some to seek out a caring Daddy Dom. 

Hidden Agenda fall apart in time.  It's a lot of wheel spinning and self defeating.  Personally the Truth can be more shocking, blunt and fun to share.  There's always the mind puke factor when you bluntly share what's on your mind.

This is why people that only want sex, get laid.  Because they simply say.. "Hey, you wanna fuck to complete strangers at a bar?"  personally, I find these type of people very honest.   Much better human beings compared to those that lead somebody on and trick them into believing there could be something more.

People that bluntly hit on each other at the bars or this manner, often get a bad rap for being a Game player.  However, they are pretty upfront and honest.  The True Game players are the ones with Hidden Agenda or selling others on a pack full of lies.   Generally, not easy to spot because they are good at the Game.

As LA said in her response. "Time reveals All Agendas".   The Truth Always comes out sooner or later. 

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RE: What experiences has anyone had with free rides, hi... - 10/8/2007 5:26:48 PM   
wewantaslave


Posts: 32
Status: offline
I am so glad you put it that way! With sites like these you can get what ever you want (to a certain extent) and it would seem easier just to say what you want then to go thru all the hoopla song and dance and end up with nothing.  Thanks for posting!

(in reply to Owner4SexSlave)
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RE: What experiences has anyone had with free rides, hi... - 10/8/2007 5:34:39 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline
quote:

If it's somebody agenda to own a slave and have her do all the housework, let it be known. You just might find what you are looking for. If you just want to use somebody for XYZ, you might find somebody who will give you XYZ if you can give them ABC. Even more so, considering the BDSM lifestyle itself. Where people are seeking out one another to consentually use and abuse each other.

Some people might enjoy paying all the bills and taking care of somebody, you might bring or give them a sense of purpose in life. Some people might enjoy cleaning house and domestic service, it gives them a sense of purpose in life. Somebody might enjoy being controlled and micromanaged in life, It brings them a sense of purpose in life.

Why bother hidding Agendas, when you can get them out in the open and find what you really are looking for.

Some people baulk when topics such as Financial Slavery come up. However, for somebody out there, it would give them a sense of purpose in life. A reason to actually hold down a job and work. What brings or gives one person a sense of purpose in life is different for another.


My problem is, I have no agenda.  I have done, pretty much all of these things at one time or another (with the exception of financial slavery but I'm not opposed to it for the reason you listed.)  So, everytime I've been asked what I'm looking for, I've been like, I dunno...what do you want?  Even now, I'm told to do whatever I want all the time and its like, errrr...how far do we have to take this obedience thing. :)

A hidden agenda may be bad and cause all kinds of trouble, but not having any agenda at all can also be a problem.


_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin


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