Blaakmaan
Posts: 374
Joined: 5/21/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyLynx
Blaakmaan, as much as I don't agree with some of your posts, (as I am sure you havn't about some of mine and others.)
The statement you made: You haven't a clue about what I've experienced or what I'm "determined" to do.
Is a good one, and can easily be applied to everyone . Because we all are making our opinions and preferences known as a result of personal knowledge and experience. sambaman'slilgirl, as a result having grown up being more exposed with more white people then black, as a result feels more at home with white. Now would you say that it was fair that most other black people treat her that way? I wouldn't.
My own knowledge and perceptions,(that yes lead to my "preferences".or whatever word you want to call it.) When I was a little girl, I was afraid of black men. ( I do not know why, I just remember my dad talking about it.) and when I was in 1st grade, my best friend, a black girl named Dalicia, along with another friend, turned on me, made me feel worthless. luckly we moved before 2nd grade. My parents raised me to be moderately openminded,(meaning not so openminded that my brains would fall out.lol.) To not judge others because of their Race,Religion,Culture,Handicap,etc. And to never ever ever use the "N" word, because it could cause me to get my ass kicked. Not to mention that it is a word that is morally repugnant. On the otherside though, they expressed that they didn't think I should date outside of my race, (no not because they are supremicists.) but because society had such a problem with it. they would say life introduces more then enough problems without adding to it. (I am disabled in some ways, they felt with that, and being female, and pagan, yeah thats a long enough list of issues. so far I have more or less agreed with that. easy since I haven't met anyone outside of my race that would make me decide differently.) And while maybe all of us here havn't experienced racism, I can bet at least half if not most of us here has experienced discrimination of some sort. those girls that were supposedly my friends definately did. other kids I went to school later on did because of being in special ed. different bosses, who couldn't/wouldn't understand my disabililties. And how many times has one of us told another person about our lifestyle and that person getting weirded out, and not wanting to talk again? Maybe you think that such instances mean nothing in comparison to a people who have suffered years of discrimination, but they are real to the people that have experience it, and while I can't speak for anyone else, It has definately made me sympathetic to the issue.
When I was an adolescent, and first getting into girls, black girls gave me a very hard time. I was pretty nerdy, tall, dark-skinned, and skinny--apparently not the best combination of attributes during adolescence.
I was teased, talked about, laughed at, and subjected to all the myriad of miniature tortures that adolescents are subjected to when they are "out" and not "in".
It seemed to me (and I actually think it was that way) that black girls were particularly hard on me. I reacted to that. I grew to dislike black girls because of the way I felt they were treating me. I didn't think they liked me, so I decided, unconsciously, not to like them.
So, my first girlfriend, late in high school, was white. My second girlfriend, in my freshman year of college, was also white. I felt more socially at ease, and therefore more compatible with, white women than black women.
It wasn't that white women (the females weren't girls by then--definitely women) were something that black women weren't. The way I was seeing white women, and not seeing black women, and the characteristics I projected onto them, led me to imbue white women, in my mind, with characteristics that I denied to black women.
I was stereotyping black women out of my adolescent experience.
Fortunately (in my view, anyway), at some point I transferred to a historically black college, where I was exposed to the breath and beauty of black women, from A to Z. They were smart and not-so-smart, beautiful and plain, pleasant and unpleasant, just like white women are.
Those stereotypes I was acting out of fell away--how could they survive?--and I came to see black women as they are, and to love them as I do.
The only reason I reveal all of this is to say that, yes, I know how painful it is to feel rejected by your own, and I know what it is to feel more comfortable around whites than around blacks. And I also know what it is to stereotype your own people.
We are all, as adults, the products of our childhood and adolescent experiences, but we are also more than that. Most of us, I would guess, didn't have BDSM experiences (as opposed to BDSMD/s fantasies) in those early years, but here we are. We are more than the products of our childhood and adolescent experiences.
Growing up around whites, feeling more comfortable around them, and whatever else, does not justify saying or believing, as an adult black person, that with white men you can "converse intelligently from the arts to music to politics without stooping below someone else's level or resorting to the slangspeak of the day," but not with black men, and it doesn't justify stereotyping black women as "ghetto chicks" who are "loud and obnoxious." Or anything else so ridiculous.
Racism is racism, no matter what experience it stems from.
And, in my humble opinion, racism against your own race is just a tragedy.
How can I harbor racist prejudices against blacks, being black myself, without applying those same racist prejudices to my black self?
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RE: RE:Interracial D/s relationships:How do we really f... - 
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