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ORIGINAL: kitttty

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To many, the only difference between the two, is that marriage is legally binding. I've known and met many who think just as highly of a collaring ceremony and treat it much like a wedding, there's just no legal joining viewed and acknowledged by the state.

This is even more silly. Have a collaring ceremony think of it as highly as a wedding and treat it much like a wedding and then separately arrange for wills and insurances etc. to provide for both partners. Do this all just to avoid marriage- why? Why not just get married? Because it has some religious significance? Sort of but everyone from atheists to wiccans get married with whatever ceremony they choose and they get the same secular marriage license. Really if marrriage is so meaningless and just a peice fo paper, why are the gays and the polygamists fighting so hard for it? Why are the conservatives fighting so hard to keep it for temselves?

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And I've also known people to last forever without getting married. Namely most of those couples being gay couples that COULDN'T get married. Yet they stayed together. Who is to say that those that do collarings and not weddings won't last forever if that is what they want? And who says that weddings last forever?

If your entire psychological being exists in a vacuum, then it doesn't matter if you are collared or married. Otherwise, yes, marriage and collaring are the same except for that little tiny ENORMOUS legal binding socially recognized bit. On this thread we have two people that won't get married in part because they are getting alimony from the previous marriage. This is how powerful marriage is- it affects your life decisions even when its gone and over with. Try getting alimony if your collaring bit doesn't work out. I will never be so naive as to believe that my relationsip with any Master can't turn exploitative or bad some other way and if that happens I don't want to be screwed because of it.

A collar is a peice of leather. A marriage is a legal contract so solidly regarded that is not only recognized in every state, but automatically recognized in every corner of the world. If your spouse emirgrates to Morocco or Argentina, you can go with them automatically because the whole world sees you as conjoined lives.

Really, if a Master doesn't ever want to marry me, it means he doesn't totally want to own me. And I bet the reason a lot of kinky folk don't want to get married is because they don't strongly aspire for their relationship to last forever. Marriages usually don't last forever, but the people getting into them usually want it to last forever at least.

Besides, I am 25 and I want to have babies so any guy that is against marriage on principle is sort of hindering my life since I don't like my fertile years squandered on guys that don't want to commit. I'm not about to have kids with some guy who says "Here's a collar. I promise I'll stick around".

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ORIGINAL: kitttty

The Bible is awesome. It says a man can't have sex with a woman unless he owns her as either a wife, a concubine or a slave. Likewise a woman can't have sex with a man unless she is owned by him. If you violate this rule then you get snuffed at the footsteps of the girl's father's house. Who needs Gor when you can read the Old Testament?

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ORIGINAL: pleasureforck

I know I shouldn't care what she thinks but she's my mom and never shuts up. lol...

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Perhaps that's a New Testament thing you're quoting. The Old Testament prohibits women being enslaved for sexual purposes. It also prohibits women being married against their will. But that's just us Jews who prohibit rape during war, you Christians seem to operate in a very different manner.

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Well, at 41, I've seen alot of life, and alot of relationships and I can tell you FOR ME there is really no reason TO get married other than to appease people that think like you and demand it. That's just not a good enough reason for me to do anything, ever. My partner and I are no less commited to each other because we chose not to legalize our relationship, I just have an intimate knowlege of how much divorce costs and how painful the whole process can be and chose to avoid it.

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Well, at 41, I've seen alot of life, and alot of relationships and I can tell you FOR ME there is really no reason TO get married other than to appease people that think like you and demand it. That's just not a good enough reason for me to do anything, ever. My partner and I are no less commited to each other because we chose not to legalize our relationship, I just have an intimate knowlege of how much divorce costs and how painful the whole process can be and chose to avoid it. I'm demanding what exactly of you? And you say it yourself. You fear divorce and choose to avoid it by never getting married- in a sense it is a fear of commitment (which is not bad). I'm not sure what that has to do with kink.

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ORIGINAL: pleasureforck

.... she's my mom and never shuts up. lol...I'm not asking for advice, just venting.

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ORIGINAL: kitttty

You fear divorce and choose to avoid it by never getting married- in a sense it is a fear of commitment (which is not bad). I'm not sure what that has to do with kink.

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ORIGINAL: apiercedkitty

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ORIGINAL: kitttty

You fear divorce and choose to avoid it by never getting married- in a sense it is a fear of commitment (which is not bad). I'm not sure what that has to do with kink.

Not wanting to be married because someone wants to avoid divorce has nothing whatsoever to do with fear of commitment - there can most certainly be commitment without marriage.

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ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

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ORIGINAL: pleasureforck
. It's frustrating not being able to tell her I'm collared and that we feel it is a commitment just like marriage.

Your collar means nothing to a court of law and in that case I do think that legalities count. I've seen many people end up losing just about everything because there was nothing legal in place. So, unless you live in a common law marriage state, you're just a girlfriend.

A very good friend of mine lost just about everything when her Dominant/fiance died suddenly of a heart attack. His family came into the house that they lived in and cleaned it out. Even taking items that were hers or that they had bought together.

So, in some manner your mother may be correct. Unless he's taking care of the legalities to protect both of you in the case that something happens, then ....yes, he's unable to commit.