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RE: What were you missing in life? - 10/19/2007 11:14:16 AM

bipolarber

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Ritualized murder? Wow... that clicking noise you're hearing, Woodhunter, is the sound of several thousand subs blocking you off their lists....

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RE: What were you missing in life? - 11/19/2007 11:12:54 PM

feralkyttin

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What's missing in my life? Balance. Control. Discipline. I experienced alot of the things you mentioned, but wouldn't change them for the world. Ask if you want to know more, because I can't help but think I was born this way and don't want to waste time rambling if no one wants to hear this.

meesha / feral kyttin

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RE: What were you missing in life? - 11/19/2007 11:45:26 PM

trusting

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i cannot help but to laugh as i read Your question, my apologies!

i never say that i was 'born this way'... it is simply something that makes me whole as a person, something that i desire with all that i am and something that is the most fulfilling thing in my life.

as for the way people choose to enjoy themselves in their relationships, that is none of my concern. all i can say is to each their own. You will learn that there is no judging of others here! (well except for some and to me they do not count!)

we are seen as terrible people by most 'vanilla' people. but here, we are alike! no one is throwing insults at another... we feel comfortable discussing our issues and asking for advice of others who have the same interests. we all have our own kinks and limits, we are all people and we all (well, most of us!) know what it is that we desire.

You may never understand why some of us prefer certain situations... but as long as we know why we prefer them and they are consensual, it does not matter if others like it or not!

welcome to You!

< Message edited by trusting -- 11/19/2007 11:49:13 PM >

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RE: What were you missing in life? - 11/19/2007 11:48:31 PM

trusting

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bipolarber

Ritualized murder? Wow... that clicking noise you're hearing, Woodhunter, is the sound of several thousand subs blocking you off their lists....

lmao... good one!!

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RE: What were you missing in life? - 11/20/2007 2:46:18 AM

girlygurl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Woodhunter

What make's you feel you need to be controlled, beaten, humiliated or abused? Did you have a parent that was abusive? Where you molested when you were younger? Where you neglected emotionaly by a family member or some one you deeply loved? What void in your life are you trying to fill by seeking out a Master or Mistress to dominate every aspect of your life?

I am a Dom that's new to BDSM and have a fetish for light bondage and find there are some very sadistic Master's/Dom's out there that you sub's/slave's seem to gravitate to and I don't know why. Fisting, mutilation, beaten unconscious, ritual murder, choking, male sub's forced into unprotected sex with other men for no other reason than their Master/Mistress said so. Why??? When you acquire AID's and your Master/Mistress/Dom/Domme kick's you out the door because he/she has used you all up, then what are you going to do?

What have you missed out of in life that has led you down this path? Do you love pain and suffering? Does it feel THAT good?

I suppose I could speculate on why I enjoy my Sir controlling me.... but why do that? I just love it! One thing I will share is that over the months that we've been together, He has taken more and more control over different aspect of my life, not just in play (although Him controlling me during play is something I love love love! For me, him having control means I'm going to do anything and everything He wishes in order to please Him. There isn't much I wouldn't do to please my Sir).

Beaten or abused? No thank you. Not for this sub. A few months back my Sir allowed me to play with a couple, the Dom proceeded to use various objects such as floggers, canes, whips, large paddles (we're talkin large). The end result was me crying, asking to be untied... it was too much for me. I'm glad I experienced it, and appreciate the couple taking the time to scene with me, and thanked my Sir for allowing me to experience it... but it wasn't for me. Was I abused as a child? Yep. I even thought of my mother during the scene. Interesting huh?

Was I emotionaly neglected by someone I deeply loved? Yep. And to this day I wish she was emotionaly available for me. Does any of this have anything to do with my choices in life? Well, that's a whole other topic, but I am who I am. I love how my Sir controls, cares, nurtures, and pushes me to be the very best I can be for myself, for Him, and for my family.

girly

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RE: What were you missing in life? - 11/20/2007 7:33:52 AM

MasterofScyn

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quote:

I am a Dom that's new to BDSM and have a fetish for light bondage and find there are some very sadistic Master's/Dom's out there that you sub's/slave's seem to gravitate to and I don't know why. Fisting, mutilation, beaten unconscious, ritual murder, choking, male sub's forced into unprotected sex with other men for no other reason than their Master/Mistress said so. Why??? When you acquire AID's and your Master/Mistress/Dom/Domme kick's you out the door because he/she has used you all up, then what are you going to do?

Master doesn't do any of those things to me. He ties me down, gives me spankings. but in no way does he beat me, mutilate me, definatly doesn't fist me... or any of those things that you listed. Some Doms/Masters do go this route but there's a safety limit I'm sure. Highly doubt they will beat their slave to unconsciousness. I couldn' t stay with someone that did any of that to me. /shrug ...

What I was missing though... Was some control in my life. I was a lost little pet, no direction or anything mindlessly wondering this world. I was brought up in a good home. .. Poor.. But good and very supportive.

I never got a pony either.. =(

Scyn ~

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May the rain fall softly upon your fields
Until we meet again
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RE: What were you missing in life? - 11/20/2007 8:49:56 AM

mhawk

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first i will say,i did come from quite an abusive household growing up.to this day i won't allow certain family members to visit my only child.but that's not the case.

as i grew older i realised finally that i needed more in my life.i needed control,discilpline,direction.the only way for me to have that was through submission.but it went further than that.as i worked many different jobs,i learned i was only happy when i served,and i don't mean that by being a waitress,it expanded over into relationships.

as i tried ot make other relationships work over the years it wasn't enough,i finally realsied that i was a slave and through my Lord and His wife they are reinforcing that. along with it i realised that i also do enjoy pain for their pleasure.

now, i do find myself as their slave and i feel whole and this is who and what i am and what i am meant to be.for me it is hard to describe but i know for me it is right.

as my Mistress said just last night before She sent me to my quaters(know it's a little off but wanted to include) was this, "your body,your mind,your heart,your emotions and your soul belongs to Our Lord Remoses and they belong to Me as well.you are part of Our family now."

and you know that still taking its impact on me now even after hours from hearing it like that but it's all for the better and solidifies all that i am and all that i will be but most of all being My Lord's slave adn His wife's slave.

< Message edited by mhawk -- 11/20/2007 8:51:10 AM >

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RE: What were you missing in life? - 11/20/2007 9:44:51 AM

slaveelle

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Personally, i think it was all those force fed vegemite sandwiches i was made to eat as a kid.

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RE: What were you missing in life? - 11/20/2007 9:50:47 AM

Aswad

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveelle

Personally, i think it was all those force fed vegemite sandwiches i was made to eat as a kid.

That'll do it, for sure.

Be glad they weren't gluten-free, or you would have been looking for a Dom with a chainsaw right about now.

Health,
al-Aswad.

_____________________________

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From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.

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RE: What were you missing in life? - 11/20/2007 11:21:00 AM

simplyserves

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Woodhunter
What have you missed out of in life that has led you down this path? Do you love pain and suffering? Does it feel THAT good?

I didn't miss out on much in life, or at least no more then anyone else having only one life to live. What has lead me down this path is actually fairly simple.

I'm naturally submissive to women, which only means I tend to defer to women in and out of a D/s context. It doesn't imply that I was "born this way", because I learned to be this way more then anything. It's this natural tendency that opened the door, however.

I'm attracted to assertive and dominant women, not just because I feel naturally submissive toward them since I would also defer to a female submissive, but because it's more comfortable for me when they're dominant. It's merely a practical concern in that regard. I did serve a female submissive for a short time but it didn't fit at all when she would tell me how to dominant her.

I also have an affinity for kinks and kinky people. Obviously, mixing the two, dominant women and kink, leads pretty quickly in one direction. I learned over time what I did and didn't like myself and what I could and couldn't handle for another persons pleasure.

Of course this doesn't explain why I like to be treated as a slave or used as a servant. That is a coin with many sides. On one, it's because it allows me to be around very dominant women which is exciting, on another it's because I enjoy exploring another persons desires with them and having them react to mine. The more extreme those desires the more extreme the reaction - be that my reaction to them or their's to me - which is endlessly compelling. Yet another side is that it feels good to serve another person and know you have a quantifiable value to them in that service, beyond just how they feel about you. Why it feels good I'm not sure.

I'm not particularly into pain or suffering but I love doing it for another person, knowing that I'm an object for them to abuse. To lose myself for a while is intoxicating and relaxing - even if it's stressful at any given moment it is punctuated by moments of ego loss and serenity.

For me there isn't that much of a difference in how I deal with women in a vanilla or D/s context, except in what is acceptable. It's not acceptable to call my female friends or coworkers ma'am. They aren't interested in pushing my boundaries or having me exposed to them. It becomes almost a compulsion to experience that with another person. To open up to them or to be vulnerable. So perhaps that is what is missing, except to say it's missing implies that it is only a fantasy. I'm not missing it because I do have it, it's not just a fantasy. My fantasies would leave me, as you say, "used up". So I'm glad many of them are missing.

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RE: What were you missing in life? - 11/20/2007 2:14:55 PM

gorgeous1

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I had a pretty normal loving childhood and a sense of self worth and PRIDE were instilled in me. I always loved being the damsel in distress rather than the one causing the distress, so in that case I guess I "always knew" or was "just born that way".

The submissive side of me is complex (whose isn't?) but I do not see my love of volunteering for or serving my community a submissive act. I see it as a selfless act that I also happen to get immense gratification from.

You ask why people get off on humiliation or pain, well, I suppose for me, I am a very dominant personality out in the "real world" and I refuse to let others walk on me, bully me, or shut me up. Submitting to my husband in a sexual way is a safe place to let the control freak in me take a break. Submitting sexually has helped me learn to let go of the bad aspects of my dominant side. I've learned how to apologize when I am wrong, to let others lead sometimes, to not be so prideful, to listen closely to others...things that I think make me a more kind and gentle person. It's really interesting how some of the training you receive in kink can carry over into daily life! I think I'm a better person for it.

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RE: What were you missing in life? - 11/20/2007 2:32:12 PM

akisha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Woodhunter

I ask this question to find out a sub/slave's point of view. If you are a Master/Mistress/Dom/mme reading this post do not answer I will not respond...these questions are being directed to sub's/slave's.

Please delve deep into your psyche 'cause there has to be a better answer than just "I was born this way." Why does there? My answer is cause I'm a hedonist and it makes me feel good, and that's a good enought reason for me.

What make's you feel you need to be controlled, beaten, humiliated or abused? a Man in control makes my fun parts squishy *eg* as does being beaten to a certain degree anyway. Don't go in for the humiliation stuff, pisses me off generally to be honest. I refuse to be abused, try it and I'd probably hand your ass back to you. Did you have a parent that was abusive? BDSM is not about abuse

Where you molested when you were younger? Yes but one has absolutely nothing to do with the other. Statiscally 4 out of 5 females will be molested by the age of 16 in North America. But 4 out of 5 females do not emberace WIITWD

Where you neglected emotionaly by a family member or some one you deeply loved? No, I was pretty spoiled actually.

What void in your life are you trying to fill by seeking out a Master or Mistress to dominate every aspect of your life? Life partner or partners that make me happy and vice versa. Also I have no desire at ALL to be micro managed, i have a brain and and free will and quite enjoy using it actually. Plus do you have any idea how tiring and stressful it would be for a Dominant to dominate every aspect of anothers life?? OMG you'd have no time to even breathe

I am a Dom that's new to BDSM and have a fetish for light bondage and find there are some very sadistic Master's/Dom's out there that you sub's/slave's seem to gravitate to and I don't know why. Fisting, mutilation, beaten unconscious, ritual murder, choking, male sub's forced into unprotected sex with other men for no other reason than their Master/Mistress said so. Ok, on the ones i bolded, I think you have been reading too many fatasy stories regarding BDSM, this is NOT common practice AT ALL!!!! Why???

When you acquire AID's and your Master/Mistress/Dom/Domme kick's you out the door because he/she has used you all up, then what are you going to do? The people that actively practice WIITWD and aren't playing at it to full fil their own selfish twisted fantasies do not do this. Like everyone else we are looking (mostly) for long term, fullfilling relationships.

What have you missed out of in life that has led you down this path? I was missing nothing, like i said before, i was pretty spoiled

Do you love pain and suffering? Love Pain... No, enjoy it, get off on it? Yes. Suffering i can do with out but sometimes you have to do things you don't fully enjoy to get the things you do.

Does it feel THAT good? Sometimes, yes

My question is... If you have such a massive negative view about BDSM why are you apart of it?

< Message edited by akisha -- 11/20/2007 2:51:18 PM >

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RE: What were you missing in life? - 11/20/2007 2:36:20 PM

akisha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

quote:

ORIGINAL: Woodhunter

What have you missed out of in life that has led you down this path?

Well, I never got that Daisy BB Gun, nor the Red Ryder Wagon, so I decided
to live the rest of my life in the god awful pain and misery which you describe.

Oh whoa is me, oh whoa is me.

chia* (the pet)

hmm didn't realize it could be things like that. hehe Thanks chia

OP, maybe it was when I turned 16 and my mom made my step dad return the brand new YZ 125 and buy me a car instead. Yup must be it cause I started experiementing with BDSM about 6 months later

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RE: What were you missing in life? - 11/20/2007 5:24:12 PM

daddysliloneds

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Woodhunter

What have you missed out of in life that has led you down this path?

not a damn thing; what about you?

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RE: What were you missing in life? - 11/20/2007 7:11:38 PM

slavekal

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Why can't you accept the "born this way" answer. I do believe that is the truth. I am not really a masochist, so I don't really crave the beatings. At age three, when I saw Catwoman on TV, swinging that tight ass in that costume, totally, seductively dominating all her men, it was like being struck by lightning. That was the kind of woman I wanted. I still do.

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RE: What were you missing in life? - 11/20/2007 7:42:51 PM

MasterofScyn

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Answering this for the fun of it.. I'm bored..

The only pony I ever got was a Great Dane... Does that count? ?

Please delve deep into your psyche 'cause there has to be a better answer than just "I was born this way."

Don't know about being Born this way... Seriously is no way of knowing that. It just feels like where I belong. As if I was a slave or something in a past life. It's more of a feeling to me. Perhaps it's because I'm the only brat in my family, I was a loner child, I somewhat coward down to the wannabe friends that used me for what ever reason. Or the bullies that picked on me growing up. It all just kind of put me into submission at some stage.

What make's you feel you need to be controlled, beaten, humiliated or abused?

I have never been beaten, nor abused Nor do I have a need to feel this way or be put in this position. If I ever am I will leave in a heartbeat I don't care who the person is. Controlled, to a certain degree. I'm the type that lives in a fantasy world, I do things on the spur of the moment sometimes w/out much thought. To have someone in control keeps me on track, makes me think about certain actions and what might come from those actions. I need some type of control in my life. That's where that need comes from.

Did you have a parent that was abusive?

Parents never layed a hand on me cept for the obvious (wait till daddy comes home) Then well. over his knee I went. But it was never out of abuse.. Even then it was always with his hand never a belt or anything and it was only when I did something seriously bad.

Where you molested when you were younger?

Uncle Tried, but failed. I was old enough to get out of that situation. Other than that, no. I wouldn't allow it.. Even as a kid, I had a good set of lungs and would have screamed bloody murder if someone tried to touch me in a way I didn't like.

Where you neglected emotionaly by a family member or some one you deeply loved?

Nadda ...I am the only brat in my family.... you couldn't avoid me at all. I was always there...

What void in your life are you trying to fill by seeking out a Master or Mistress to dominate every aspect of your life?

The void was feeling lost in this world. For as long as I can remember I was alwasy searching for something, in my dreams I would call out to this faceless figure and call him Master. May sound strange, but well.. It's true.. As for dominating every aspect of my life. I don't think I could handle that. I'm a little to independant for that. I'm in control of my own thoughts, where and how I make my own money. How and when I spend my money. Can go out when I want.. He controls a good amount of things, but not every single aspect. Think that would get boring, also it puts alot on the one in control.

I am a Dom that's new to BDSM and have a fetish for light bondage and find there are some very sadistic Master's/Dom's out there that you sub's/slave's seem to gravitate to and I don't know why. Fisting, mutilation, beaten unconscious, ritual murder, choking, male sub's forced into unprotected sex with other men for no other reason than their Master/Mistress said so. Why???

Master and I are into the light stuff right now, we are still pretty new to this life style. I could never be with someone that would do such things to me. The only mutilation that's being done to my body is my Collar.. a Tattoo.. But no cutting, burning, breaking anything. Fisting is a hard limit for me. It scares me, I don't want to be streched out like that and it doesn't really do anything for Master either. He has no interest in that. As for that other stuff..... No.. no interest in any of that. Same for Master.. Doubt he can bring himself to do that kind of stuff. /shiver..

When you acquire AID's and your Master/Mistress/Dom/Domme kick's you out the door because he/she has used you all up, then what are you going to do?

I'm to cautious about playing with other people unprotected to get this. Anymore I'm not really interested in other people so no worries here. I don't have it, Master doesn't have it. WE would really get to know someone before things progressed to that level to make sure they don't have it. If we don't trust the person/couple.. It's a no go.

What have you missed out of in life that has led you down this path?

Missed out on having friends that actually cared about me as a friend. Like I said I was a loner child. As for family side, Nothing was missing there. Being the only brat, I had both parents attention and love. Both parents are still together after 30yrs. And will be together till death parts them... That's what I'm looking for in my relationship.

Do you love pain and suffering?

Like Pain to a certain point. Suffering comes with pain so I guess I like that too. Severe pain and severe suffering. Master won't let that happen for one. And 2 .. no I don't like severe pain and suffering. Don't even want to try it. I love hot wax, this tattoo I'm getting on my chest is a pain that I kind of like... cept doing it for 6hrs straight!!! After 6hrs I'm done. lol..

Does it feel THAT good?

It can if it's done right.

Why do I feel like I just did a survey?

< Message edited by MasterofScyn -- 11/20/2007 7:44:06 PM >

_____________________________

May the road rise to meet you
May the wind always be at your back
May the sun always shine against your face
May the rain fall softly upon your fields
Until we meet again
May the spirits hold you in the palm of their hands

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RE: What were you missing in life? - 11/20/2007 8:03:15 PM

LPslittleclip

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i had a decent childhood i didnt start into the lifestyle till just 2 years ago and now im exploring the limits of my sensation play i wont do anything unsafe as thats beyond SSC
i have been accepted by a wonderfull dom who is teaching me a great deal on the lifestyle and life as well, my wife knows and has set her limits on my play all are respected. if theres no respect then there is no relationship

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RE: What were you missing in life? - 11/21/2007 4:59:32 PM

herpet1313

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Woodhunter:
methinks you are way off base in your premise. As others here have stated, i too had a very normal childhood. i also have 6 brothers and sisters who do not share my "kink." my submissiveness being just the way i am, (or was born) is the only answer i can give you.
i will admit there were times i wondered why, but i gave that up a long time ago.
herpet

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RE: What were you missing in life? - 11/21/2007 5:01:56 PM

laurell3

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

Why can't you accept the "born this way" answer. I do believe that is the truth. I am not really a masochist, so I don't really crave the beatings. At age three, when I saw Catwoman on TV, swinging that tight ass in that costume, totally, seductively dominating all her men, it was like being struck by lightning. That was the kind of woman I wanted. I still do.

ROFL I like this answer! Flipped by catwoman, it makes as much sense as any other. The truth is no one really knows and acceptance is much more important than why.

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When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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RE: What were you missing in life? - 11/21/2007 8:48:31 PM

ItzKat

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Like the song says... Hey, hey, hey, hey... it is the DNA. Hey, hey, hey, hey... that makes me this way. (extra credit for anyone that can name the song and band... no fair looking it up online)

I used to tie myself up with my blankets at nap time... my family still giggles about that one... if they only knew what it led to.

. Then I started reading the Conan the Barbarian and Tarzan books (not the comics) and man, that was manely to me. Then puberty hit and it was a long slipper slide from there.

No abuse, no trauma, no low self esteme issues. I just like it.

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That which does not kill us... can really mess up our hair!

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