RE: Re: BBW, BDSM, Projection of Body Values onto Women

RE: Re: BBW, BDSM, Projection of Body Values onto Women (Full Version)

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hardbodysub -> RE: Re: BBW, BDSM, Projection of Body Values onto Women (8/13/2005 3:47:24 PM)
Yes, height and weight don't tell the whole picture, but it's a good start which can at least flag the extremes. A body type index might be helpful, but even that doesn't work unless there are many well-described and precise selections. Alt.com uses a body type field, but it's very poorly implemented. BBWs often describe themselves as "slim/petite" just because they are short, and there is a body type called "Athletic" which could mean just about anything (athletic in what way? Marathon runner? Powerlifter? Soccer player? NBA player? Tennis player? Gymnast? Golfer?).

KittenWithaTwist -> RE: Re: BBW, BDSM, Projection of Body Values onto Women (8/14/2005 1:15:36 AM)
quote: On the other hand, people who try to conceal their physical appearance by not posting a photo and not listing height/weight, are guilty of wasting both their time and the time of others to whom such information is relevant. If you're embarrassed by your body, either get used to it or do something to change it, don't blame others. Some people don't post a picture because they are not "out" or they do not feel comfortable with people seeing their face, or they don't want someone they know or work with to see them and ask questions. BDSM is not exactly an acceptable form of life and pleasure in the USA, where the majority of us are from. As for not posting height and weight: If that's what someone is looking for specifically, good for them, but I prefer not to be ruled out specifically because I'm over a certain number of pounds. As others stated here, we all carry weight in different ways. If someone is heavy, they can still be shaped like a woman from a Rubens painting and be downright stunning, but you'll never know if all you stare at is a number. Instead, I try to look for typing skills in profiles, a sense of intelligence, and a desire to explore the lifestyle. I personally have a preference for small women with medium sized breasts and round spankable asses, BUT I'm open to other sizes and shapes if the person and I click.

zaynab -> RE: Re: BBW, BDSM, Projection of Body Values onto Women (8/14/2005 2:48:16 AM)
fourpeas... bravo life is short... seize the day... .strike while the iron is hot... geez.... if I was a Dom... I would love a woman who had a nice body that I could grab on to.... better leave it at that..... stop worrying and enjoy your lives...... !

hardbodysub -> RE: Re: BBW, BDSM, Projection of Body Values onto Women (8/14/2005 8:04:42 AM)
quote: Some people don't post a picture because they are not "out" or they do not feel comfortable with people seeing their face, or they don't want someone they know or work with to see them and ask questions. BDSM is not exactly an acceptable form of life and pleasure in the USA, where the majority of us are from. Well, obviously. But a picture doesn't have to show your face or give away your identity to give a vague, general idea of your appearance. And in lieu of a picture, it would be reasonable to provide at least a description. As for not posting height and weight: If that's what someone is looking for specifically, good for them, but I prefer not to be ruled out specifically because I'm over a certain number of pounds. What you prefer isn't the issue. It's what the people reading your profile are seeking that matters. Hell, I prefer not to be ruled out specifically because I'm over a certain age, but I have to accept that age is pretty important to some women. It does me no good to try to avoid it, to conceal it, or lie about it. Eventually it will have to come out, and why not be up front about it and not waste someone's time?

MsIncognito -> RE: Re: BBW, BDSM, Projection of Body Values onto Women (8/14/2005 8:57:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hardbodysub What you prefer isn't the issue. It's what the people reading your profile are seeking that matters. Hell, I prefer not to be ruled out specifically because I'm over a certain age, but I have to accept that age is pretty important to some women. It does me no good to try to avoid it, to conceal it, or lie about it. Eventually it will have to come out, and why not be up front about it and not waste someone's time? Exactly. While I don't place too much stock in the number on a profile (age, height or weight) I realize that some do so why would I want to waste their time or mine by leaving out information? It's just inconsiderate, IMO.

Fidelity -> RE: Re: BBW, BDSM, Projection of Body Values onto Women (8/14/2005 9:00:01 AM)
It's always best not to play bait and switch games. It wastes everyones time,and causes resentment. Dishonesty by omission is every bit as bad as outright lying.

Shayna -> RE: Re: BBW, BDSM, Projection of Body Values onto Women (8/14/2005 10:17:39 AM)
quote: It's always best not to play bait and switch games. It wastes everyones time,and causes resentment. Dishonesty by omission is every bit as bad as outright lying. Are you seriously comparing leaving weight off a profile to lying? MANY people don't have the specific city they live in, sometimes just the state or an area of the state. My profile gives the information I CHOOSE to give to complete strangers who browse. If someone is deemed by me as worth getting to know better, they will get all the details. I usually meet someone in person within 2 weeks of connecting on line - that's the best way to get a sense of whether people are attracted to each other. And if they're that concerned about my size, then I'm not the right person. I have no interest in guys with small girl fetishes. A man's size is not a priority to me. What people choose to share in a profile is completely up to them - don't like it, then pass 'em by.

KittenWithaTwist -> RE: Re: BBW, BDSM, Projection of Body Values onto Women (8/14/2005 10:31:00 AM)
quote: What you prefer isn't the issue. It's what the people reading your profile are seeking that matters. Hell, I prefer not to be ruled out specifically because I'm over a certain age, but I have to accept that age is pretty important to some women. It does me no good to try to avoid it, to conceal it, or lie about it. Eventually it will have to come out, and why not be up front about it and not waste someone's time? Actually, I see no reason why the actual weight number I possess would come out in polite conversation. Do I expect my partner to stick me on a scale? However, I do have pictures of myself. One is on my profile, and more are available for the right person. I am not going to write my profile on what others expect or seek. If someone is seeking a specific weight, good for them, but I'm not. So, I guess, they can skip over the stuff I've written about who I am as a warm, loving, attractive, intelligent person. Because they'll never be interesting to ME if their primary focus is my weight. Of course, they can always ask. I'm quite honest.

Fidelity -> RE: Re: BBW, BDSM, Projection of Body Values onto Women (8/14/2005 10:46:12 AM)
I dunno shayna,it's not just wieght. People also "neglect" to mention things like being married. But gee,that's not important, is it? Aren't you supposed to like them for MORE than that,and take the time to get to know them? Or would you rather NOT? Do you enjoy having YOUR time wasted?

Shayna -> RE: Re: BBW, BDSM, Projection of Body Values onto Women (8/14/2005 10:56:24 AM)
Fidelity, no matter what someone has in their profile, there is no guarantee that you won't have your time wasted. People leave out pertinent info on internet dating sites, when you meet them at work or through a friend. It's the dating/hooking up wild world out there. I've been dating steadily for about 6 months now - I've met some great folks - but nothing long lasting. And that has nothing to do with what I or they did or didn't have in our profiles. I also haven't had anyone lie to me, so maybe I'm just lucky or perhaps after all these years I've become more intuitive. Even though I've asked for married men to not contact me, I still ask someone when I get a note if they are single. But none of that is a guarantee that they are telling me the truth. I wish you the best of luck - I hope we all find what we're looking for :)

SweetDommes -> RE: Re: BBW, BDSM, Projection of Body Values onto Women (8/14/2005 10:57:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Fidelity It's always best not to play bait and switch games. It wastes everyones time,and causes resentment. Dishonesty by omission is every bit as bad as outright lying. So the fact that I honestly don't know how much I weigh means that I'm being dishonest? Or how about the fact that Holly and I don't weigh the same and since the profile is for both of us I see no reason to find out and post a weight? I have pictures up that show our size ... so how exactly is not having a weight posted being dishonest? Yeah, I know that there are some out there who lie ... about all kinds of things, but don't lump me in with them - not only do I have pics up that show us, I am honest about why there is no weight posted - if people have a problem with that, that is their problem ... As for the other things that people neglect to mention - if you run across one of those (or many, as we have) you know what kind of a person they really are and move on. While I don't have any desire to have my time wasted, leaving a weight off of a profile is not the same league of 'omission' as leaving the fact that they are married. Someone who doesn't have a weight posted, to me, says that a- they don't know, b- they don't care, c- they may have some body image issues to work through - someone who doesn't mention that they are married is a cheat, and there is no acceptable reason for it.

Fidelity -> RE: Re: BBW, BDSM, Projection of Body Values onto Women (8/14/2005 11:08:56 AM)
Where did my quote state anything about wieght? My point was merely to state that SOME people will see leaving ANYTHING out that they feel is important , as a lie by omission. So if you CHOOSE to do so,and get a bad reaction later-realize where it comes from. It may well be THIER problem,but it can BECOME yours. People have specific prefferences, and those usually won't change. So why be vague,and misleading? Painting an incomplete picture can be just as bad as using someone else's, in that regard.

SweetDommes -> RE: Re: BBW, BDSM, Projection of Body Values onto Women (8/14/2005 11:13:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Fidelity Where did my quote state anything about wieght? My point was merely to state that SOME people will see leaving ANYTHING out that they feel is important , as a lie by omission. So if you CHOOSE to do so,and get a bad reaction later-realize where it comes from. It may well be THIER problem,but it can BECOME yours. People have specific prefferences, and those usually won't change. So why be vague,and misleading? Painting an incomplete picture can be just as bad as using someone else's, in that regard. Which is why I posted pictures of both of us - they can get a clue that way and if they don't, they get blocked. It doesn't become my problem because I don't let it. I do not mislead - if they ask, I tell them the truth.

Fidelity -> RE: Re: BBW, BDSM, Projection of Body Values onto Women (8/14/2005 11:27:03 AM)
Yes,that is a good way to do it. It's brave and honest,even fearless. Not to mention practical. But at the same time,you are not doing it because your self esteem is shit-and feel you must omit things out of fear of rejection.

subcheryl -> RE: Re: BBW, BDSM, Projection of Body Values onto Women (8/14/2005 11:43:44 AM)
I usually don't post my weight because until they contact me and ask feel it is no ones buisness but my own, part of the reason is this, let's say I put in profile that I am 5'4" and weigh 220 lbs, what picture would you get. Now I have been told I don't look as heavy as I am, and yes I am overweight, but how I perceive myself isn't how others will either, and I don' do pics here either for privacy factors. Now when Master and I connected he asked and I told him and we are working on weight factor. for him height was the deciding factor, he didn't want a a taller woman he was honest and said that it would have just reminded him of ex and he didn't think it would have worked than, yes he has issues for this but we talk and work things out if I went by a hard set of wants I would not have stayed once I met him, my picture perfect guy would be, a lumberjack built man, wide shoulders, firm butt, rolled up sleeves, trimmed beard, must look sexy in pair of tight jeans, Master isn't any of these, though he does have a cute butt, I want to pinch all the time, LOL. In fact when I first met him it was kind of a shock but I gave it a chance and we are together now 7 months and going even better. so I don't know if some of it isn't being willing to compromise or if it is a man thing or what not sure. but to each their own, I figure they are missing something when they pass me by, in fact have had one male friend tell me he should not have let me go he finally realized what he did and now it is too late we are friends now, where at one time it would have been so much more if he had given it a chance but he wanted a barbie with my personality, the perfect woman syndrome. LOL

eckie -> Where are the mature open minded bbws seeking young masters? (8/16/2005 3:48:22 AM)
I have heard that some where there are mature bbws on this site seeking young masters if you are here please show yourself or is it only a myth?

ManOwner -> RE: Where are the mature open minded bbws seeking young masters? (8/17/2005 8:19:09 PM)
Fidelity: Omitting weight from your profile is not analogous to being married and hiding it. When your profile doubles as a personal ad, you are announcing your availability for a relationship and inviting prospective partners to contact you. Such a person is presumed single. On the other hand, there is no presumption regarding weight.

krazykatelyn -> RE: Re: BBW, BDSM, Projection of Body Values onto Women (5/20/2008 10:44:19 PM)
Well all very interesting points of view. Sure people could cop out and use "hormones" as a reason and they could use a variety of excuses, to each his own, and likewise no one should be judged for not wanting to be with someone. If you are not attracted to them, you are not attracted to them, and there isn't anything you can do about it. There are men who love very large women, my friends Dom is one of them. He in fact weighs her often and encourages/enforces weight gain. This may be disgusting to some, but it is his preference and no one should judge either of them, just as no one should judge someone for not liking smokers or the like. The way people view themselves is skewed by the media sure, but you are what you want to be. Everyone has the exact life and love life they want. If you don't, then who is the only one who can control that? Small or large its individual preference and no one can really speak for another .. its rude and its uncalled for. To each his own, so let it be, you dont' have to like what someone is, or what they look like or how they dress, but who are you to comment on any of that? Do you really think they care that much? You take the cards you are given and you play them the best way you can, so no one should be judged or criticized for their own preferences. i would have to say that women definately project more of a cruel expectation of self image than men do. Its one of those things, that society will eventually work through. All things take time.

Justme696 -> RE: Re: BBW, BDSM, Projection of Body Values onto Women (5/21/2008 2:20:02 AM)
What I find sad is that s many ladies who are BBW (and many that are just a few pounds to heavy) call themselfs "and proud". But when you talk longer to them, often, they aren't so proud about it. It is in their way the weight..in many ways. I am personally not attracted to very large woman, but I know many who are attracted to them. But anyway...doesn't change anything about their personallety. Doesn't make them less. Although I see also people looking down at them. See you don't have to be their partner, but ast least be decent.

Kalista07 -> RE: Re: BBW, BDSM, Projection of Body Values onto Women (5/21/2008 3:36:40 AM)
For the love of all that is holy and unholy why on earth would You revive a thread that's this old???!!!

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