quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit
I dont know. Some people might want to know how a no limit relationship can function within the scope of sanity and reality with the slave being (and remaining) a fully functional human being.

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ORIGINAL: Bondagenexus

IMHO the slaves who posted here have described functional relationships, even if no one can absolutely state how any relationship really works.

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ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

greetings madrabbit,

except that you are jumping to the conclusion, in my mind, that choosing not to impose boundaries automatically means that all boundaries will be crossed. i'm sure there are tons of kinds of play we will never get into because he simply doesn't have a preference for it, or perhaps because he hasn't quite mastered the resurrection trick and he prefers live slaves. there are things we have done and probably will do that have made me uncomfortable, have threatened my health/life, have put me in dangerous situations, have scared me. i don't claim not to have boundaries in the sense of not being a human being capable of suffering and dying. but i will not impose boundaries on his ownership of me in light of that. i do not make certain kinds of actions limits simply because they are psychologically or physically traumatizing, and yes, we have done things that are psychologically and physically traumatizing. obviously he cares about me to some degree because i am still here, and i would not have gotten into the relationship with him if we were completely incompatible and i thought i'd hate every minute of it. but as daddysprop mentioned, there are a lot of things that i have been exposed to and a lot of things about him that i learned after he collared me that have changed my perspective a little bit (partly why i don't still subscribe to the "well, i'm no limits because i know he'd never DO it" philosophy). as daddysprop said...there is a certain level of something that is required once you realize that things will change, that the person you are submitting to is not necessarily a static human being, that the things you would never imagine doing might actually be done. she spoke of acceptance; i usually talk about it in terms of faith, and my views are a little bit different (primarily because of his influence and his beliefs about submission). but i think it basically makes a lot of sense.

and, uh, i don't make any claims that the relationship is "healthy" or "unhealthy." i like it, it's fulfilling, but my therapist and psychiatrist think i'm a little left of center in the relationship department (and they don't even know the whole story), and as i've said, it is not exactly, physically or psychologically speaking, the poster for health...so...depends on whose definition of healthy we are using.

respectfully,
annabelle.

quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

greetings madrabbit,

i have never claimed not to be a doormat within the context of my own relationship, either. quite frankly, discussing the relative merits of how i choose to live my life with you seems to lead to, well, nothing; you are not interested in listening to what i have to say (although as usual, you are interested in making assumptions and putting words in my mouth), and i am not interested in how you personally feel about the state of my relationship or my sanity. the point of my post originally was just to express my irritation with the fact that you seem to need to reiterate that i am a nutcase after my every single post on this topic, sometimes without even adding anything constructive, so i will just stick to that and in the future avoid dialoguing with you about this at all. the fact is, you do not own me; he does. my relationship with him is fulfilling. it is very clear on SO many levels that you and i would never be compatible, so trust me, you do not have to worry about my particular brand of madness encroaching on your life, nor that you feel i am a "dangerous individual and the worst slave to own." i am glad you feel that you know enough about me to make those kinds of judgments, but i just don't get the point of that, either.

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to everyone/on the general theme of the topic,

one of the things i find interesting about discussing this is that we always talk about the bad things when we talk about "no limits." yes, there are many things that we have done that have been psychologically and physically difficult, and many other things that i would never have considered doing before this relationship that were not traumatizing at all but very fulfilling, and sometimes things that can be traumatizing can also be ultimately fulfilling . i would not be in the relationship in the first place if i were not fulfilled by it in some way; i think it's interesting in the context of "more extreme than thou" (which i think is silly) to note that in general, people tend to automatically jump to the absolute worst possible scenario. another thing i think is interesting (and this goes along with what i was saying in one of the recent labels threads) is that i know where he stands on this, he knows where i stand on it, but it's not something we sit around and discuss like we do here. it's hard for me to articulate a lot of things about our relationship on this forum for that reason, and i will often comment on a topic and stop at a certain level because i don't know how to say something and i don't feel comfortable stumbling through it; it's something i do, something i live, not something we generally sit around talking about with him. obviously i find talking about things here helpful, informative, interesting, etc.; i wouldn't do it if it wasn't. but often when i'm talking about my own relationship and experiences, i do run into that brick wall where articulation is concerned, and i think that has a lot to do with why. just some thoughts.

respectfully,
annabelle.

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obviously if he were drowning me (and i used this example in the other thread) i would fight back physically because that's what my body is supposed to do, but i would do my damndest not to make it any harder than it has to be. obviously my health causes problems...if he were to want me to kneel for 12 hours, i might be crying in pain about an hour through it but i would do my damndest to stay on my knees. to me it means i actively trust in him and choose not to impose any kinds of limits or boundaries on his ownership of me. i don't consider it romantic; personally, walking off a cliff is not my idea of a good time. if he wanted it, i'd do it, but that doesn't mean i live in some wonderful fantasyland of being a no limits slave.

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ORIGINAL: RRafe
Would any of YOU walk into a running chain saw?
Why do you think any bottom would?

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ORIGINAL: NControlofU

Some scoff at the very thought that anyone can really be a no limits slave.  Just because you are someone who can't understand, percieve, or believe something exists, doesn't mean that it doesn't.  Your reality is only based on what you have experienced and witnessed firtshand.  It isn't based on every relationship out there because you don't have personal, real life knowledge of every relationship out there.  If you are someone who chooses to believe that anyone who says they are an unconditional slave, with no limits in her service to her master is a liar or delusional or romaticizing reality thats entirely up to you but it doesn't mean that your right.  Go spend a weekend with a "no limits" slave and her Master and see for yourself what their lif is like before you write it off as a bunch of internet BS.  If you don't believe its possible then you probably will never have it.  But that doesnt mean that no one else has it.