Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes'


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/22/2007 5:42:31 AM   
Squeakers


Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline 		     This idea came from another post and I've heard it a few different times.   Why isn't there a list where we can out the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes'?  
   If there were such a list, I would make someones list, for the many times, I failed to kneel when someone said, "Kneel" or because I refuse to call every Dominant 'Sir' or 'Ma'am'.    There are many who I have considered worthy of such a list within the first few moments of chat, but just because I consider them worthy of such a list does not make it so.   They could make a wonderful Master for someone else.
     How easy it would be to hold such a list in our hands.    We could simply, run down the list of names and block every one on the list.    How many people would be left to talk to though?   I am sure that everyone would make the list at some point.   
    Why is it that we simply want this lifestyle to be so easy?   It is not and that is part of the fun, at least for me it is.    It's about learning and growing.   
     Fakes, players and wannabes really can be a positive thing.    We learn from them.    Indirectly those I consider fakes, players and wannabes have help to shape and mold me.    I think there is a lesson to learn in almost every interaction.
    First time out, we learn that whippings really do hurt, but it is the mixture of the pain and pleasure that brings some of us back to do it again.    Finding that special person, is similar.   It's a mixture of pleasure and pain and we learn from it.
    Thinking back to when I was introduced to the lifestyle, the net had either not been invented or was in the early stages.    I was a real wannabe then.    I wanted something I knew nothing about.    When I learned a few things about it, I could have been considered pretty much a fake, because I did not know a damn thing about myself or what I wanted.    Once I got the net, I guess I could have been called a player too.    I changed my chat name every time, I made some mistake in a chatroom and wanted to avoid people or start over.   It was all a learning process.
     I think the majority of these people are beginning and still learning.   As they learn, they will change and grow.    It takes time and never happens overnight.   Should we black list them before they have had a chance?    True some are never going to 'get it' and there are 'bad' people no matter where we go.   But as we learn more about ourselves we can be better equipt to avoid those people.    
     Vent done.   What do other's think?   Is there 'really' a need for black listing others?    

< Message edited by Squeakers -- 10/22/2007 5:43:31 AM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/22/2007 5:48:35 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		My profile says happily collared sub. I got an email from some HNG the other day saying he prefers to play with types like me. My reaction was to delete and think very uncharitable thoughts.

I'm sure he thinks I'm not a true submissive. And I'm not when it comes to him. I'm submissive to one only. So I would certainly go on any list that said fake subs since there are various types who apparently can't read who sent me come-ons and got either no response or rude ones.

And that's what would happen with most such lists. People listing those who weren't compatible, or trying to get back at their ex.

(in reply to Squeakers)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/22/2007 6:02:27 AM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline
quote:

Why isn't there a list where we can out the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes'?


Out here in the bay area, all pro Domme and submissives are reviewed by the users at www.myredbook.com. In fact, a review of all local professional workers is available at that site, no matter their orientation.

There's nothing stopping us from adding a review of collarme users to those reviews - but it would be seem to be more appropriate to create our own, perhaps similar section here on collarme for all users to benefit.

(in reply to Squeakers)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/22/2007 6:04:32 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		OK, Squeakers, I am outting you..........

See the problem?

We have too many goddamn chickens running around with their heads cut off already. 

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Squeakers)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/22/2007 6:09:08 AM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline 		Yeah nah ... a list for professionals reviewed absolutely ... for a website like CollarMe ...no thanks ...

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


Visit My Website


(in reply to pompeii)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/22/2007 6:09:11 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		true there are some who'll never "get it" here - for example i had to blacklist two dommes who felt it was their mission to make me bi.  at first when i responded politely that i wasn't bi or even bi-curious...not even curious about being and submitting, i thought that was that - end of discussion. however they just couldn't take no for an answer and decided be rude and nasty towards me.  i refuse to be forced into something that i have no desire of being (reason why i left my former - he wanted me bi too). so now they join a long list of others on my block list. 

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to Squeakers)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/22/2007 6:10:25 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Oh dear God, lets see. The logistics are a nightmare. Who sets the criteria, by what do we agree, popular consensus, dictatorial fiat, the word of the mighty admin in the sky? I don't know about anyone else, but I loathe it when others judge me. Will people speak in tongues and accuse others?
Who gets to judge, and what good is it anyhow? It's a free forum, they can just grab another ID and be back on in a red hot moment. It's the internet, wide open, spread eagled and just waiting to be fucked. It's practically begging for it and its been that way ever since Al Gore invented it for which we should be grateful lest the kind citizens of the world band together and ban us.
For a bunch of sexual deviants, outcasts, transgender, uni, bi, poly and multi sexual people who have sex with anything and everything under the sun (I am not saying this about YOU, whoever you are, in particular, but somewhere on this site there is at least one person who has done everything) people get their panties in bunches mighty quick and want to start judging real fast. All this talk about one true way, my way, blah blah blah, Let others do what they want, all I care about is what the one I own does and what I do, that’s it.
Who gets to be the executioner, and again how does that get arranged. Public trial, Star Chamber, the coliseum?
How to prevent the vengeance seekers, those who make up tales or just have an axe to grind, or want some attention even at another’s expense? How do you keep someone accountable who cannot be met, cannot be seen and might be an exercise in social engineering?
One final small thought, if the "wannabes" and the "frauds" outnumber those who practice in RT as badly as is sometimes suspected, maybe they will band together and ban all of us as being against their way.
We spend so much time and energy on this matter, it’s a weekly question in some form or another. Who cares, practice discernment; enjoy watching the futile attempts at this from people who have no clue.
Personally I am all for the frauds, posers, wannabes, HNG's and instant internet experts, anytime they act like an idiot, they make me look all the better, for which I thank them in their idiocy.
.

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/22/2007 6:17:46 AM   
lateralist1


Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		I've never blocked anyone.
Never refused to talk to anyone again.
The most I've ever done is say that I was busy always truthfully when they contact me again.
Why? Because as you say people learn and change.
Never changed my profile name. I tried to give up shame and guilt when I left the vanilla world.
Even if I never find the person I'm looking for it doesn't matter.
Here I can be honest about who I was yesterday, who I am today and who I might be tomorrow.
That's all I need. What I want changes with the tide.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/22/2007 6:19:26 AM   
spankedbrat


Posts: 4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Status: offline 		Well, there are profiles on here I know for a fact are fake. The man who emailed me from all of them told me point blank he made like three extra profiles to mess with people who blocked him because he just couldn't take it when he was ignored. It would be nice to have a list of names like that.  Where it;s not a matter of opinion they just are fake.

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/22/2007 6:20:32 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

true there are some who'll never "get it" here - for example i had to blacklist two dommes who felt it was their mission to make me bi.  at first when i responded politely that i wasn't bi or even bi-curious...not even curious about being and submitting, i thought that was that - end of discussion. however they just couldn't take no for an answer and decided be rude and nasty towards me.  i refuse to be forced into something that i have no desire of being (reason why i left my former - he wanted me bi too). so now they join a long list of others on my block list. 


I had some twit domme decide she didn't like what I wrote too-sent me a letter basically trying to top  me with all sorts of invective-I laughed and laughed-and blocked her.

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/22/2007 6:21:33 AM   
Squeakers


Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

There's nothing stopping us from adding a review of collarme users to those reviews - but it would be seem to be more appropriate to create our own, perhaps similar section here on collarme for all users to benefit
   Who is it going to benefit?   More importantly who might it hurt?

quote:

OK, Squeakers, I am outting you..........

See the problem?
   It think my entire post reflects that I see the problem.

quote:

for example i had to blacklist two dommes who felt it was their mission to make me bi.  at first when i responded politely that i wasn't bi or even bi-curious...not even curious about being and submitting, i thought that was that - end of discussion. however they just couldn't take no for an answer and decided be rude and nasty towards me.  i refuse to be forced into something that i have no desire of being (reason why i left my former - he wanted me bi too). so now they join a long list of others on my block list. 
   I think this is fine---I have a few on my block list as well, but should I start a list to share with everyone else that says, this guy is just a HNG, this guy is married, this guys is a fake because he says 'kneel bitch'.   There is a fine line in outing someone.    It would take something very drastic for me to go past just blocking someone and if it was 'that' drastic, I'd probably go to the moderators. 

(in reply to pompeii)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/22/2007 6:27:43 AM   
Squeakers


Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

All this talk about one true way, my way, blah blah blah, Let others do what they want, all I care about is what the one I own does and what I do, that’s it.
    I loved this.  

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/22/2007 6:35:27 AM   
EvilCrimeLord


Posts: 184
Joined: 7/27/2007
From: FakeVolcano
Status: offline 		Damn fakes and players grrrr. They make my blood boil.

_____________________________

When will I learn that the most elaborate way to kill someone isn’t the most effective?

☠

(in reply to Squeakers)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/22/2007 6:49:56 AM   
SunNMoon


Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline 		I think that we’re all someone’s fake, player and wannabe. Plus all those are real people sitting somewhere typing on the keyboard.

This “list” could easily turn into a witch hunt after all.


_____________________________

"We agreed to S&M only, sex and mockery." - Gray’s Anatomy.

(in reply to EvilCrimeLord)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/22/2007 6:53:38 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Well, I am pretty sure that the Sun and the Moon are two different  spheres, so-----

Know what I am sayin'?

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to SunNMoon)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/22/2007 6:57:00 AM   
SunNMoon


Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline 		That I control the earth, with my spilt personality?

_____________________________

"We agreed to S&M only, sex and mockery." - Gray’s Anatomy.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/22/2007 7:06:04 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

And that's what would happen with most such lists. People listing those who weren't compatible, or trying to get back at their ex.


exactly.

(in reply to SunNMoon)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/22/2007 7:22:38 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		i use these things to determined a real person or not

  1. the sexual predator ( they do not want to get to know you but more how to use you )
  2. the  tourist ( they do not know if they are kinky but horny and want to try it) most people in the lifestyle by now in one way or form have found their way to here or know about it. So the phrase i did not know about this lifestyle or there were people like this out there.   Um well geezer like you never read or watch TV or goto the movies or see the news  I just do not believe it.
  3. the non committed relationship (  is more about living for the moment then long term. find these people in one divorce after another one sub or domme after another trying to find that grass is always greener person
  4. the  manipulator ( is very good controlling your feelings or thoughts but again for the purpose of selfish needs )
  5. the excuse maker(  often times can not show up when they say they will have an excuse to cover for all his or her errors
  6. the victim ( these people often put the role of i am not good enough or all of the sounded like out of thin air make up stories why they are not ready to start something  ( there whole life is like that jobs education look close there)
  7. the swinger ( is more along the lines of sexual addiction.  they live to thrill their sexual lust or desire you will not find anything serious about this type)
  8. The on line experimenter ( these people are emotionally taxing. They have read every site. every book.  they are the most empty people )
  9. the Pro Peeps ( sexual servants  ( they are there for one purpose to make money it is a business. )
  10. the Fashion Frauds ( i am fashionable kinky party person  social lite   these people are like water dry up with then sun comes out ) you will find very little to sub stain them in a long term loving relationship

there are some many forms and veriations there will always be an acception to the rule. but like most things if you trust your gut and keep a clear head you will come out ok  ( play it smart take it slow never rush.  look at their past really close )

(in reply to SunNMoon)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/22/2007 7:28:19 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Th
quote:

ORIGINAL: Squeakers

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

All this talk about one true way, my way, blah blah blah, Let others do what they want, all I care about is what the one I own does and what I do, that’s it.
    I loved this. 

Thanks

(in reply to Squeakers)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' - 10/22/2007 7:30:05 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		If it will stop people from contacting us from Ghana or begging to live naked under our steps waiting to be used as a toilet or prepared to fly in from the Netherlands for the "privilege to lick beth's boots" upon returning from Folsom - PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE put us on the "fake" / "wannabe" list.

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Outing the 'fakes', 'players' and 'wannabes' Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094