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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

This has become a fantastic thread!
 
Btw, thanks to those who liked My prior comment.
 
I was kind of waiting for your comment on the subject, littlesarbonn, since it's so close to you.  To Me, what you are doing for children now seems just wonderful.  While I wouldn't think it would be the same as the feeling of serving a Domme, it wasn't exactly the angle I was looking at.  It's a much different scenerio, so I would expect it to have a different satisfaction.

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ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I think it's pretty telling that the respondents who understand the service issue are FEMALE.   These women are out there doing whatever their tops require of them, and that's pretty much the end of it. I am willing to say that not all of them are wild for every little thing they do, but they sure seem down with the "keeping the dominant happy" portion of the equation.

Regarding LP's post---excellent, btw!---another kicker for males is when the female top says, "Hey, my friend just had surgery, she needs help around her house this week."  or "Go get my kids from karate practice."  WHOA!  Not what they signed up for?  I've seen men who were supposedly owned slaves get into ultracranky mode when faced with the prospect of dealing with those kinds of tasks.  Which leads us back to the question of whether a person is into actually serving, or just doing exactly what they want to get exactly what they want. 

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ORIGINAL: Politesub53

i think a male who is totally submissive is just the same as a slave or a servant. i truly dont see any difference, and to be honest if the Mistress i was with wanted to say i was one or the other, then so be it.

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ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

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ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

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ORIGINAL: undergroundsea
While I enjoy service and do see D/s value in it, I sometimes see service presented as a payment one must make to have a domme's attention. Over time I have seen different thoughts to drive such an expectation: a mechanism against feeling sexually used, a sub is thought to otherwise not bring enough to a relationship, more.

I still don't see how this is particular to femdom so I'm not truly understanding the complaints.

I made my post more to comment on an observation but you are correct that there is un underlying complaint.

My objection is that some dommes have an air as if the sub must pay for their time either with service or money. The air I sense is not in spirit of D/s but of a different flavor. This attitude suggests that a sub cannot contribute or provide for an interesting relationship or interaction unless he pays in some form, or that the time of the domme is automatically more valuable simply by virtue of the role, with each of which I disagree.

Here is another way to say it:

Person A says to person B that if person B wants the time and attention of person A, person B must do ___ otherwise person A has no interest in person B.

Man says to woman that if woman wants the time and attention of man, woman must give man blowjob otherwise he has no interest in her. Possible BDSM response aside, the woman would be put off because such a statement undermines what she is beyond giving a blowjob. What would you say about the position the man in this example takes?

Domme says to sub that if sub wants the time and attention of domme, sub must do her menials tasks (not for sake of D/s but to pay her for her time) otherwise she has no interest in sub. I think some subs feel similarly put off. What would you say about the position the domme in this example takes?

The questions are rhetorical and asked to invite thought towards a point I try to make--I do not necessarily direct them at you ;-)

Cheers,

Sea

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ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

This has become a fantastic thread!

Btw, thanks to those who liked My prior comment.

I was kind of waiting for your comment on the subject, littlesarbonn, since it's so close to you. To Me, what you are doing for children now seems just wonderful. While I wouldn't think it would be the same as the feeling of serving a Domme, it wasn't exactly the angle I was looking at. It's a much different scenerio, so I would expect it to have a different satisfaction.

Well, I've given up on actually serving a woman, so this is about all I have left. It is a satisfaction but of a much, completely different nature.

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ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

Yeah, it crashed.

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ORIGINAL: Bella1965
Since there were so many individual interpretations of what service means, I figured I'd provide the actual definitions. As per Webster's;

Service - (1) the occupation or function of serving. (2) the work performed by one that serves, contribution to the welfare of others, disposal for use. (3) the act of serving: as a helpful act,  useful labor that does not produce a tangible commodity.

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Relationship or emotional attachments aside, service is simply whatever the dominant decides it is and how they want it done. Period.

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ORIGINAL: serviceslaveinMI

As someone who just wants to be used by a great female in order to do any sort of work for her in order to make her life easier, I'm surprised there aren't hardly any women out there looking to use men for manual labor, and nothing else. You'd think there'd be women everywhere who would like to have a man do their labor.

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ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

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ORIGINAL: serviceslaveinMI

As someone who just wants to be used by a great female in order to do any sort of work for her in order to make her life easier, I'm surprised there aren't hardly any women out there looking to use men for manual labor, and nothing else. You'd think there'd be women everywhere who would like to have a man do their labor.

I've done that in the past but I found that enough sincere claims of wanting to just provide solid useful labor fell aside when jealousies reared up since I have other partners including a husband.

Sometimes what we think we want and can handle does not fit when the real experiences begin.

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ORIGINAL: aidan

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ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

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ORIGINAL: serviceslaveinMI

As someone who just wants to be used by a great female in order to do any sort of work for her in order to make her life easier, I'm surprised there aren't hardly any women out there looking to use men for manual labor, and nothing else. You'd think there'd be women everywhere who would like to have a man do their labor.

I've done that in the past but I found that enough sincere claims of wanting to just provide solid useful labor fell aside when jealousies reared up since I have other partners including a husband.

Sometimes what we think we want and can handle does not fit when the real experiences begin.

This is an important concept to recognize.

I love to give service, to be useful and helpful and all that jazz. But I recognize that I need more than just an unpaid job from a Domme. I, ya know, need some kind of relationship and personal connection, even if it's just friendship and casual play. Just last week, while I was in New York City doing college stuff, I visited a Domme friend. I cleaned Her apartment, went grocery shopping, helped take care of the dogs...Just generally gave Her a day off. I did that because She's somebody I like and care about, and I knew it would be nice of me to do. Her and I play, but I didn't do those things in exchange for play.

I don't knoe quite where I was going with this, and it's dinner time now. Hopefully some food in my belly will help clear my thoughts. I think what I'm trying to get at is that you need to recognize what your needs are in a relationship, and you shouldn't feel like those needs are unimportant just because you're a sub. A submissive/bottom/slave is entitled to their needs just as much as a Dominant/Top/Mistress.

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ORIGINAL: thetammyjo
He did "slave labor" for them around the house and yard and he came back damned sore physically. He did it cause it was his duty as a good son but he came back emotionally drained as well.