Why are most women subs?

Why are most women subs? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

cyberdude611 -> Why are most women subs? (10/23/2007 10:04:55 AM)
It seems that in BDSM most of the women into it are submissive. I was just curious what you all think the reason for that may be. Do you think gender roles of the vanilla world play a role here? Or is it a genuine submissive tendency? Also, another interesting aspect is that I notice that a lot of dominant women started off as a sub. If this is you, what made you make that switch?

akisha -> RE: Why are most women subs? (10/23/2007 10:13:03 AM)
Why would you assume that most women are subs? Blanket statements as such are going to result in some heavy backlash so be warned. But to answer your question with a plausable answer is thus. Thousands of years of conditioning that men are the head of household and are superior verses less then a 100 years of acknowledgement of equality. Pretty simple to figure out if you ask me.

Rover -> RE: Why are most women subs? (10/23/2007 10:17:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: akisha Why would you assume that most women are subs? Blanket statements as such are going to result in some heavy backlash so be warned. According to the statistics compiled by Trevor Jacques, most women in the lifestyle are indeed submissives. In fact, they comprise the largest segment of the BDSM community. John

Celeste43 -> RE: Why are most women subs? (10/23/2007 10:17:58 AM)
Actually my best guess is because women in their day to day lives have huge amounts of responsibility. They hold full time jobs, do the majority of house hold work including thinking about what needs to be done, and the majority of work involved in raising offspring. Men may coach the soccer game and one practice weekly, but mothers are checking backpacks and packing lunches plus overseeing homework, settling sibling rivalry etc. Have an elderly parent? Care usually devolves among the daughters, not the sons. When your responsibility load is off the scale, letting someone else make all the decisions is like a vacation.

akisha -> RE: Why are most women subs? (10/23/2007 10:20:05 AM)
That may be true and I'm not disputing it. I'm saying that there are alot of female dominants as well and some ppl are going to take offence to such a statement. Personally I couldn't care less who is what. If you read the rest of my post I did answer coherently as to a plausable reason. Another reason is women have been raised for generations that sex is not something "good girls" do so in being submissive they are absolved of responsibility.

jj292 -> RE: Why are most women subs? (10/23/2007 10:23:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: akisha Why would you assume that most women are subs? Blanket statements as such are going to result in some heavy backlash so be warned. But to answer your question with a plausable answer is thus. Thousands of years of conditioning that men are the head of household and are superior verses less then a 100 years of acknowledgement of equality. Pretty simple to figure out if you ask me. First off it is pretty easy to assume that most women are submissive. Take a look on CM and even at any BDSM event in your area. Most of the women are going to be submissive. I also dont think you can blame conditioning since that same conditioning has conditioned men to be superior, dominant, and powerful... yet there seems to be a rather large amount of male submissives in the lifestyle.

Lordandmaster -> RE: Why are most women subs? (10/23/2007 10:26:14 AM)
Most women in the life may be subs, but that's a far cry from saying that most women are subs. Most women are vanilla. But I've also noticed that most women in the life are subs. In fact, I'd venture to say that nearly half the women who call themselves dommes are really subs or switches. That's not to say that there aren't any dommes in the world, just that I've known quite a few who secretly yearned for their One True Master. quote: ORIGINAL: Rover quote: ORIGINAL: akisha Why would you assume that most women are subs? Blanket statements as such are going to result in some heavy backlash so be warned. According to the statistics compiled by Trevor Jacques, most women in the lifestyle are indeed submissives. In fact, they comprise the largest segment of the BDSM community.

Rover -> RE: Why are most women subs? (10/23/2007 10:26:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: akisha That may be true and I'm not disputing it. I'm saying that there are alot of female dominants as well and some ppl are going to take offence to such a statement. Didn't mean to make it appear that I was picking on you... just intended to offer some statistical information. And as for people, there are those who will take offense to "have a nice day" and they all seem to find their way to the internet. John

Missokyst -> RE: Why are most women subs? (10/23/2007 10:27:14 AM)
Beats me why you see that. Most women I know are far from subs, and don't engage in bdsm. As a group owner of many years I can tell you that for a long time most of my members were male submissives. It is only in the last year I am finding more submissive women and many of those switch from lack of partners. If you are talking solely of BDSM, dominants seem to be the rare species, and that makes subs of any gender more prevalant. Kyst

Rover -> RE: Why are most women subs? (10/23/2007 10:28:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster Most women in the life may be subs, but that's a far cry from saying that most women are subs. Most women are vanilla. That would be an entirely different question, and one not asked by the OP. But in reply it would seem to me that you'd be quite correct. John

RRafe -> RE: Why are most women subs? (10/23/2007 10:38:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rover quote: ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster Most women in the life may be subs, but that's a far cry from saying that most women are subs. Most women are vanilla. That would be an entirely different question, and one not asked by the OP. But in reply it would seem to me that you'd be quite correct. John I've noticed this too. And have talked with women who got into topping-because they had bad experiences with their first Doms. They wanted more control of thier situations, and I commend them for it. I just find ot sort of sad that they had to resort to switching to get thier fix-not that I see switching as being a bad thing. Only that the insensitivity and lack of regard of some people lead them there. People keep whining about how male "Doms" outnumber female subs here. But if you take out the cyber players-cheaters and dillettantes that will never make it to the flesh world-there are actually MANY more female bottoms than tops. When you get out into many real communities-there are more avaible bottom women than Dominant men. It's only the online world that skews the numbers.

Dnomyar -> RE: Why are most women subs? (10/23/2007 10:48:06 AM)
I think the reason you see more women subs is that a lot of the men are still in the closet. I had a local yahoo group once on closet bi's. I was surprised by the number of men who joined it.

colouredin -> RE: Why are most women subs? (10/23/2007 10:51:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Celeste43 Actually my best guess is because women in their day to day lives have huge amounts of responsibility. They hold full time jobs, do the majority of house hold work including thinking about what needs to be done, and the majority of work involved in raising offspring. Men may coach the soccer game and one practice weekly, but mothers are checking backpacks and packing lunches plus overseeing homework, settling sibling rivalry etc. Have an elderly parent? Care usually devolves among the daughters, not the sons. When your responsibility load is off the scale, letting someone else make all the decisions is like a vacation. I would tend to agree with this, at my uni i did a study on sexual behaviour and my results showed that a heck of a lot of women who identified themselves as submissive had very stressful lives, they tended to come from careers like nursing and teaching which gave them a lot of responsibility and authority. Some even said for them being submissive was a safty valve that helped relinquish the pressures of every day life. Of course with any study, generalisation or anything has large holes and we can never really give it a reason. I have known some 'Doms' (notice the comma's) who have said that all women are submissive whether they admit to it or not, this is not a thing i agree with myself. People are bound to get involved in the lifestyle for differant reasons and we cant ever really know, i dont know why i am i just am.

thetammyjo -> RE: Why are most women subs? (10/23/2007 10:55:36 AM)
I believe that several studies of people who answer surveys on these sorts of issues reveal that more people into BDSM classify themselves as subs or bottoms or masochists. I don't think I've ever been to a kink event where the number of bottom/sub wasn't greater than or equal to the number of dom/top regardless of gender, sex, or orientation.

wickedteach -> RE: Why are most women subs? (10/23/2007 11:06:47 AM)
Interesting question and one which i disagree with lol Or perhaps it is just in a certain area that i could disagree with it. I have found it interesting that at the various clubs i have attended and munches there seems to be a predominance of Dommes and male subs. Perhaps it is just the places i have been rather then a natural trend and others will reassure me that i am wrong?

RRafe -> RE: Why are most women subs? (10/23/2007 11:09:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wickedteach Interesting question and one which i disagree with lol Or perhaps it is just in a certain area that i could disagree with it. I have found it interesting that at the various clubs i have attended and munches there seems to be a predominance of Dommes and male subs. Perhaps it is just the places i have been rather then a natural trend and others will reassure me that i am wrong? Or that the taken women just played at home, rather than be bothered with the pestering of the unattached men in the clubs. That's why I quit taking my dates to the local one here-too distracting, shooing them away every five minutes.

Rover -> RE: Why are most women subs? (10/23/2007 11:12:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar I think the reason you see more women subs is that a lot of the men are still in the closet. I had a local yahoo group once on closet bi's. I was surprised by the number of men who joined it. Interestingly, in the same studies conducted by Trevor Jacques, the most flexible gender (for both sexual orientation and lifestyle orientation) were Dominant males. Considering that these statistics are derived from lifestylers actively engaged in real time communities, I think it's quite revealing. John

CreativeDominant -> RE: Why are most women subs? (10/23/2007 11:25:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: akisha Why would you assume that most women are subs? Blanket statements as such are going to result in some heavy backlash so be warned. But to answer your question with a plausable answer is thus. Thousands of years of conditioning that men are the head of household and are superior verses less then a 100 years of acknowledgement of equality. Pretty simple to figure out if you ask me. I don't think you can blame conditioning. The women of my generation grew up with the message that they were equal to males, capable of doing anything a man could do, were just as intelligent as any given male, deserving of equal pay for equal work, etc., etc.. Yet many of those women are submissive. Is it conditioning or a subconscious desire to return somewhat to the household of their youth wherein Dad was the one "holding the power", as it were? The males of my generation grew up with these same messages, from all directions, except maybe from older relatives. Yet many of us are dominants who believe that there is room for one leader in a relationship and two partners, that there does indeed need to be a decison-maker in the house who makes his decisions after communication, etc., etc.. Is that conditioning or is it a desire to escape from the more radical elements of feminism that decry men as being the cause of all of society's evils or is it a desire to return to the more traditional household of their youth? I'll grant you that some male dominant/female submissive dynamics may be set up on the "male superior - female inferior model" but I find the belief that it is the majority somewhat dubious, given the dearth of profile statements belonging to male dominants stating that they believe in "male supremacy" as compared to the number of profile statements of female dominants claiming their belief in "female supremacy".

RRafe -> RE: Why are most women subs? (10/23/2007 11:31:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant quote: ORIGINAL: akisha Why would you assume that most women are subs? Blanket statements as such are going to result in some heavy backlash so be warned. But to answer your question with a plausable answer is thus. Thousands of years of conditioning that men are the head of household and are superior verses less then a 100 years of acknowledgement of equality. Pretty simple to figure out if you ask me. I don't think you can blame conditioning. The women of my generation grew up with the message that they were equal to males, capable of doing anything a man could do, were just as intelligent as any given male, deserving of equal pay for equal work, etc., etc.. Yet many of those women are submissive. Is it conditioning or a subconscious desire to return somewhat to the household of their youth wherein Dad was the one "holding the power", as it were? The males of my generation grew up with these same messages, from all directions, except maybe from older relatives. Yet many of us are dominants who believe that there is room for one leader in a relationship and two partners, that there does indeed need to be a decison-maker in the house who makes his decisions after communication, etc., etc.. Is that conditioning or is it a desire to escape from the more radical elements of feminism that decry men as being the cause of all of society's evils or is it a desire to return to the more traditional household of their youth? I'll grant you that some male dominant/female submissive dynamics may be set up on the "male superior - female inferior model" but I find the belief that it is the majority somewhat dubious, given the dearth of profile statements belonging to male dominants stating that they believe in "male supremacy" as compared to the number of profile statements of female dominants claiming their belief in "female supremacy". I've noted a lot more insecurity in that in Female top profiles as well. Overcompensating?

xoxi -> RE: Why are most women subs? (10/23/2007 11:50:29 AM)
Because we like to be penetrated. Serious answer.

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875