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RE: Pleasing another to please your Master. - 10/24/2007 2:50:38 PM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MidnightMaiden

Imagine your Master takes you to a swingers club, or a public dungeon or some similar venue where sex is relatively open, or at the very least done in semi-private rooms. His pleasure is to watch you submit to another person (either male or female). How would you feel about that? Is it a common practice for Masters/Doms to want to "show off and share" their subs/slaves?

It's not something I have done, but its a concept we have discussed, and I would love to hear others thoughts/experiences on this.

I'd like to point out that if you're going to a swinger's club, you are, in fact, not submitting to someone else. You are submitting to your Master's desire to see you in a sexual situation with someone else. Sex is not submission; submission is not sex.

And well... been there, done that, would have a t-shirt if they sold them. My perceptions prior to going were absolutely along the same lines as has already been said - I'd be miserable, I'd be horrified, I'd walk away, etc...

My actual reactions were no where near any of these things. I found I loved doing what he asked of me. I found a genuine appreciation of that lifestyle within me and frankly, when I look back on my fearfulness of the whole thing back then, I have to laugh.

Now, we have a nice time. And it never ever ever interferes in how I feel about him and how he feels about me. We're careful. We practice safe sex and we enjoy ourselves immensely.

And the people are just plain .. .NICE.

juliet

(in reply to MidnightMaiden)

Post #: 21

RE: Pleasing another to please your Master. - 10/24/2007 2:56:29 PM

LadySeraphina

Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline

I'm monogamous with my boy, and there is no sex or play with anyone else. My slave is in long-term chastity (thus sex isn't an issue) and does not play with anyone else. I just don't share, call me greedy!

_____________________________

"Men are like wine. They start out as grapes and its up to the woman to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with." -Unknown

www.LadySeraphina.ca

www.SeraphinasToybox.com.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 22

RE: Pleasing another to please your Master. - 10/24/2007 3:04:43 PM

bostontwo

Posts: 43
Status: offline

We generally don't play with couples where one half is a slave, precisely because I'm personally bothered by the issue of consensuality. I'm just not sure how to tell if a woman (in the cases we've dealt with, the slave has been female) is a willing participant with us, or just following orders. It's tough to get an honest answer, so I prefer to err on the side of caution and assume she has no choice in the matter, and opt not to play in those situations.

(in reply to LadySeraphina)

Post #: 23

RE: Pleasing another to please your Master. - 10/24/2007 3:58:35 PM

completenz

Posts: 315
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline

C does not, and has no desire to, share me with anyone. i belong to Him and we are enough for each other. We are happy in our monogamous life together.
c

(in reply to MidnightMaiden)

Post #: 24

RE: Pleasing another to please your Master. - 10/24/2007 4:04:40 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

greetings midnightmaiden,

being shared is pretty much an expectation in our relationship. it is actually what led to the poly - because he expects me to seek out other sexual partners and it is hard for me to have sex (even casual sex) without some emotional connection (even if it's just one-sided)...and occasionally a sexual relationship has developed into more than that, which really led to me exploring that part of who i am and deciding to jump full on into polyamory. we do not go to clubs and he does not watch (although we have discussed different scenarios for that), but it is a big turn-on for him and has become a big turn-on for me as well (which is important to him). i have come to just accept it as part of who i am as his slave. i have not yet bottomed or submitted to anyone else in a bdsm sense, and i imagine if that were to happen (as well as gangbangs, which are another thing we eventually plan to do) he would be more involved in the planning of it than the level he is involved now. as far as risks go...that is part of what is pleasing to him about it, i think, and i am sure it will get more risky as we get more involved with it. that is something that i accept as part and parcel of it, although like many other things about the situation, i have occasionally had mixed/negative feelings and have definitely worked through many different issues to be able to do this. for the most part it is something i enjoy, not just a chore to please him, but it can also be difficult for me at times.

i apologize if i'm not explaining this very well or if our relationship is outside of the scope of what you are asking, but i hope my response helps.

respectfully,
annabelle.

_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to MidnightMaiden)

Post #: 25

RE: Pleasing another to please your Master. - 10/24/2007 4:33:01 PM

LaMspeach

Posts: 794
Joined: 12/4/2004
From: Philadelphia area, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sabella

And afterwards, while said chicken is laying there spent, grinning and smoking a cigarette and you look over at your Dom, what do you think will be running thru your head and heart?

What will be running through my head is the pleasure I find from obeying him in everything even things I dont like.

quote:

Shawn1066
It's not that I don't respect your zeal...but blind obedience is just wrong in my opinion. Lets say he wanted to chop your finger off, would you still get joy from submitting to him and allowing him to do that? It's an extreme example, but not quite as extreme as him putting you into a situation where you could get AIDS and die just because he's doing what he wants of you.

Obedience, intelligent obedience, is good...blind obedience is bad. You can't serve somebody well if you're dead.

Again, just my two cents...

i am not obeying blindly i know exactly what was expected of me when i entered into my relationship. In my mind it all has to do with trust and I trust Master completely to do what is best for US. Master has no desire to break his toy so i am confident he will keep me safe.

To the OP

Being shared isnt my thing but if that is what he wants from me then I obey. I didnt become his slave so i could pick and choose when I wanted to obey and when I didnt. I gave Master all of me the day i became his slave not just peices.

_____________________________

peach ~ LordandMasters devoted alpha slave
"Only when the year has grown cold does one know that the pine and cypress are the last to wither"

(in reply to Sabella)

Post #: 26

RE: Pleasing another to please your Master. - 10/24/2007 4:43:58 PM

MidnightMaiden

Posts: 142
Joined: 10/22/2007
Status: offline

The varied reactions and responses have been wonderful to read, thank you all :)

Juliette wrote:-

quote:

I'd like to point out that if you're going to a swinger's club, you are, in fact, not submitting to someone else. You are submitting to your Master's desire to see you in a sexual situation with someone else. Sex is not submission; submission is not sex.

I guess that is what I was trying to say, I just didnt do it as eloquently. I see it as submitting to my Master and doing his will. In the same situation he could perhaps have asked me to dominate another sub, or any manner of permutations that could be imagined, with essentially the core idea being that my Master has a wish to share or show off his slave.

Thank you to the Dom's who shared their thoughts, and would not share their property. I do appreciate and understand that viewpoint entirely. I guess its all a matter of perspective. In discussions with my Master he has said first and foremost if I object he will not force the issue... he does care for both my physical and mental wellbeing above all else. He has also said that he is so proud of my service to him that he has the desire to "show me off" which I guess is in some way a bit of an ego trip for him (look at how well I can train a slave) but I take some pride in that also.

Previous to embracing my desire to be a slave, I had participated in threesomes and enjoyed the experience, so I am not naturally adverse to the idea of having more than one partner at a time.

Toserve wrote:

quote:

The pleasure for me in doing this has never been about sex but knowing it pleases my Master and the intensity of the whole thing.

That is where the interest for me lies also. Ultimately my goal is to please my Master. I trust him, he knows my body mind and soul more fully than any other person, he knows what challenges I can face that will help me to grow, and he knows what would cause harm. My dilemma here is that for something of this scope it is "my choice".... a strange dilemma for a slave to be in!

As for safety, condoms are not a 100% guarantee against STD's, however "Laboratory studies show that latex condoms are effective barriers to HIV and other STDs. In addition, several studies provide compelling evidence that latex condoms are highly effective in protecting against HIV infection when used for every act of intercourse. This protection is most evident from studies of couples in which one member is infected with HIV and the other is not, i.e., "discordant couples."

Only celibacy is the guaranteed way to maintain safety. Even within a "monogomous" relationship you are trusting the other partner to keep to their end of the bargain and remain faithful (I dont mean to open a hornets nest with that statement, but ultimately its the truth, it comes down to trust). In every relationship your partner has the potential to take your life into their hands.

(in reply to hisannabelle)

Post #: 27

RE: Pleasing another to please your Master. - 10/24/2007 6:12:44 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

When you KNOW your Master has your best interests at heart, and would never do anything to harm you or put you in danger, its not blind trust....its well placed trust...BIG difference.

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to MidnightMaiden)

Post #: 28

RE: Pleasing another to please your Master. - 10/25/2007 4:55:41 AM

yuyu777

Posts: 30
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline

most of the doms I talked to dont want to share...
if you feel like doing it, then you 2 probabely will be a good match...

(in reply to MidnightMaiden)

Post #: 29

RE: Pleasing another to please your Master. - 11/1/2007 6:51:41 PM

andreaC

Posts: 195
Joined: 10/15/2006
Status: offline

I will never submit to another person besides Master, but we do plan on going to clubs where sex is pretty much open. I will please Master by doing it with another woman, but i would dominate her and not vice versa.

_____________________________

andreaC - owned by Master Carrera2
Complete and extremely happy :)
Jeg elsker deg Herre

(in reply to MidnightMaiden)

Post #: 30

RE: Pleasing another to please your Master. - 11/1/2007 7:11:50 PM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

I have done it to be obedient and have done it for pleasure. Depends on the reasoning for us doing it to as how I feel.

Some like to see this and some don't, just a preference. Can't say it is common for all doms as I haven't experienced all doms. Just know what I have personally experienced.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to MidnightMaiden)

Post #: 31

RE: Pleasing another to please your Master. - 11/1/2007 10:01:15 PM

Tigrita

Posts: 484
Joined: 8/16/2007
From: California
Status: offline

My dominant has made it clear that this is something that he is interested in and will probably expect at some point. He describes it as allowing someone to take his fine ride for a spin, the ride of their life, while he is there to watch and enjoy and be sure it is strictly on his terms. My feelings go back and forth on it, depending on my mindset of the moment. I do enjoy objectification, but this would be quite extreme and would take a very strong, secure mindset, established by the context preceding and during the act.

Being switchy, I can also easlily see a situation where I'd feel dominant, having the power to tempt and tease a simple, sex-thirsty man, to use him for our gratification (my Man's voyeurism, and my slutty lust and domme side), and give him the ride of his life, especially if it was a vanilla guy; that could certainly be fun. That is the context in which we've discussed it. My dominant has implied that I'd have some influence in who it would be, or at least that my tastes would be considered, and that he'd want me to enjoy it for myself as well, which puts my mind at ease somewhat. A pure humiliation/objectification context where I had no say in it and would be expected to be submissive would be really, really hard for me to do.

~ J

_____________________________

~ Tigrita

There is no right path, only the path you take.

Success is making life happen, versus just letting life happen to you.

"Many of the things I enjoy, I enjoy because I don't enjoy them." - Charlotte

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 32

RE: Pleasing another to please your Master. - 11/4/2007 3:39:56 AM

Kalari

Posts: 15
Joined: 8/21/2007
Status: offline

I wish I could help you more, but I have never been told to sexually service another Dom(me). However, my Master does enjoy showing me off at certain lifestyle events, and I very much love that. There is something to be said for the fact that one's Master feels that she is well-trained enough to make him proud in front of other experienced Doms. It is an exhilarating experience for me, but I am also aware that this comes from (1) comfort with my body and my training, and (2) my trust in my Master not to tell me to do anything I would be unnecessarily uncomfortable with.

My trust in my Master is high enough that if he were to tell me to service another, I would know that he knew this person's background and sexual history. And while I would much rather be servicing Him, I would be happy to please him in this way.

(in reply to MidnightMaiden)

Post #: 33

RE: Pleasing another to please your Master. - 11/4/2007 6:29:52 AM

lateralist1

Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

If or when I own a slave I will never share him with anyone in anyway.
Now if I want sex with someone else that's different.
If I want another slave that is different.
I hope he will be very happy about my decision.
If he isn't then he shouldn't be submitting to me.

(in reply to Kalari)

Post #: 34

RE: Pleasing another to please your Master. - 11/4/2007 11:04:59 AM

sweetdemure

Posts: 11
Joined: 10/4/2007
Status: offline

I have been with Master for over 6 years now .....he has said there will be a day where he will share me to others .....this has been said right from the start , there are times he talks about it ; but for now it has not taken place in our lives ....so I dont know how it feels to be shared , but I do know how it feels for Master to have this thought in mind ....if he indeed wants this from me ; I really dont have the say about it .

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 35

RE: Pleasing another to please your Master. - 11/4/2007 12:03:59 PM

charlotte12

Posts: 471
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline

I don't think that breathsasone saying that she would obey her Master should he decide to share her even though it's not something she's interested in suggests blind obedience. She said it very well when she said that she trusts him to take care of her.

I am not particularily interested in having sex with many other men for the sake of all the "hot sex" i would be getting. I find the idea hot because i would be obeying my Master and it is an extreme way of reminding me that my body does not belong to me anymore. Sure i'm the one that would have to deal with STDs HIV etc but if i didn't trust him enough to be looking out for my well being i would not have begged his collar in the first place. I think it is rather dramatic to say that having sex with someone your partner tells you to means you will get AIDS and die. Sure condoms break and HIV can be transmitted from only one non-protected sexual contact but come on. If your Master ever expects to have sex with you again i would assume he doesn't want you to get HIV anymore than you do. AIDS is scary but so is driving in LA. Being in a relationship with someone you don't trust enough to take care of you is far more "blind" then obeying the person you have commited to serve because it brings you pleasure to obey.

_____________________________

Stephan's slaveling

"I'm not superior, I'm just more important." Master (Stephann)

"When you are your freest self, who are you?" Jack Rinella

(in reply to sweetdemure)

Post #: 36

RE: Pleasing another to please your Master. - 11/4/2007 12:10:30 PM

gracieamelia

Posts: 26
Joined: 10/21/2007
Status: offline

great response juliet.

(in reply to julietsierra)

Post #: 37

RE: Pleasing another to please your Master. - 11/5/2007 12:14:57 PM

eselle

Posts: 1
Joined: 9/24/2007
Status: offline

Hard limit. Wouldn't happen.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 38

RE: Pleasing another to please your Master. - 11/5/2007 8:33:02 PM

Violetta01

Posts: 20
Joined: 9/6/2007
Status: offline

I am not shared in any way at all. That was discussed early on and we both wanted it that way. However, many do share or have it forced upon them. My Master's other slave is shared, but she's happy that way. However, I totally agree that blind obidience is just insane. If Master wants to cut off your finger and you agree, then you both belong in a private rubber room in the mental hospital. Nobody who cares for you should ever mentally, physically or spirtually compromise you. You are a human being first and a sub/slave second.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 39

RE: Pleasing another to please your Master. - 11/6/2007 5:18:09 AM

favesclava

Posts: 1608
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

Honestly Breathsasone, it IS your call. I know of no quicker way to ruin a perfectly good relationship by doing something you KNOW is totally against your values and desires but you do it anyhow. If he said "tonight you're gonna fuck a chicken my pet!" would it still be not up to you? And afterwards, while said chicken is laying there spent, grinning and smoking a cigarette and you look over at your Dom, what do you think will be running thru your head and heart?

Why would me being obedient ruin our relationship? My joy comes from being His, and doing what He wants of me....not from Him catering to my comfort level

i agree. some of us have only the limits set by our Master. we trust them to use us wisely . my pleasure is to make Him happy. i guess some of us are total slaves , and this hard to understand by others. just like its hard for me to understand how a person is a slave and be able to choose what can and cannot be done to them. i dont judge, but whatever Master ordes me to do i will. i did not get collared by a moron, i am His property to use.He wouldnt be Master otherwise.He would have been just another i play with. and we're not playing.
i trust Him with my life totally. i live to please Him. i'm happy to do so.

_____________________________

weird is relative not an absolute term. Baron Frank N. Furter
Resident jingly dancing girl
The Pookie Of Darkness
Okay? Ready? Fine .Here's my hand. We are going now. I know the way. All you have to do is hold on tight ... and believe.SK

(in reply to breatheasone)

Post #: 40

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