Tributes and price?

Tributes and price? (Full Version)

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imtempting -> Tributes and price? (8/2/2005 12:44:37 AM)
It was mentioned by SweetDommes in another post so I am interested now and it might actually change my views. quote: ORIGINAL: SweetDommes Have you ever heard the saying "it's the thought that counts"? In general, it's true. It's not the monetary cost that gives a gift value. People have already mentioned that tokens of affection count as "tribute" to them - a flower picked on a walk, a card to show thought and care, a poem or a drawing done specifically for the Dom/me - these things cost little to nothing, and would certainly count for us and others - but then again we, personally, don't require "tribute." We do want our boys to show affection to us, but we dont' call it tribute. If there is a toy that he really wants used on him, he will be expected to buy it - is that tribute? to some yes, to us ... eh, if things don't work out, he takes the toy with him ... so it's not really ours. It all depends on perspective - and yes, some "Dommes" out there are greedy ... but I would have to say that in general, most would be just as happy (if not happier) with a hand-picked bouquet of wild flowers as with a dozen long stemmed roses. So how many dominants would be happy to receive something like flowers or a drawing or a poem instead of something with a $ value? Dont use " we do a service" as this is pro domming and that is a payment not tribute. Thank you imtempting

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Tributes and price? (8/2/2005 1:09:06 AM)
I would. The more important question would be, have you taken the time to get to know anyone well enough, outside of their BDSM interests, to know what would touch their heart. Many years ago, when I was so much younger than today, I had to get to Oregon for a business trip. I missed My plane, so the man I was dating (vanilla) flew Me up in his private plane. The next day he walked into the office where I was working, and he handed Me a single rose. He sheepishly admitted he had been walking in a pretty neighborhood, and saw a beautiful rose garden. He asked the gentleman working in his private garden if he could have a rose to give to his lady. That rose meant more to Me than the plane trip. He saw the home grown roses and he thought of Me.

MadamMichelle -> RE: Tributes and price? (8/2/2005 1:10:14 AM)
Come on, we would pretty much like the same things as women in vanilla relationships like. You can buy me a present or you could put brake fluid in my car if you notice some squeeky sounds. I know that you really care about me by putting in the brake fluid. You are showing me you care about my safety and you care enough to keep me from getting my pristine little hands dirty[:D]

imtempting -> RE: Tributes and price? (8/2/2005 1:14:41 AM)
Ahh but what if you said oh Ill have to put brake fluid in and the submissive did it wont that just be considered as somethings that was expected to done??

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Tributes and price? (8/2/2005 1:32:15 AM)
Just itchin' away there, aren't you? Ya know, it might be part of what I expect from you if you were My 24/7 boy and you were living in. Then all ideas of tribute go away anyway, don't they? Think of it this way. I might not realize what the squeaking meant, or that My tires are low. But you might, and you evidence that concern by taking the time to notice and taking care of it. My last boy was worried because My windsheirld wipers were not in good shape. We don't get much rain here, and when We do, it comes in seasons (like right now!). He took the time to check that, and told Me, and made sure he got the new wipers and installed them. Now he was living with Me, and so he let Me know it was something important, and he cared about Me. I gave him the money for the purchase but he ran the errand and did the work. He made an extra job for himself. I wouldn't have known the difference, until I was trying to use crappy wiper blades. Do you see the difference?

LdyAuburn -> RE: Tributes and price? (8/2/2005 2:18:23 AM)
Not everything is d/s even when in a d/s relationship. Example : Brat has sore throat (flu's are rife in sydney at the moment) I buy him throat lozenges.... is that a nice gesture? I have sore throat, brat buys me throat lozenges... is that a submissive action? As I said.. not everything thing needs or should be acknowledged as service

Oumae -> RE: Tributes and price? (8/2/2005 5:37:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LdyAuburn Not everything is d/s even when in a d/s relationship. Example : Brat has sore throat (flu's are rife in sydney at the moment) I buy him throat lozenges.... is that a nice gesture? I have sore throat, brat buys me throat lozenges... is that a submissive action? As I said.. not everything thing needs or should be acknowledged as service I agree...its not about tribute its about showing thought and caring for a partner. Some may demand tributes but it gets irksome when thoughtful gestures get lumped in with the whole tribute thing. I like when my subs show thought...I also will be thoughtful and caring to them to me thats part of a relationship. Oumae

SadisticPrincess -> RE: Tributes and price? (8/2/2005 9:21:48 AM)
Well I am glad we women are all on the same page, at least! Gestures of thoughtfulness, evidence of concern for my well being OUTSIDE the scene, are all important. I woke up one morning to find that my slave had taken my car out for a wash and oil change---without my asking, or even mentioning it. He got me extra crunchy peanut butter, though he hated it himself. Evidence of caring, or "tribute"? I like to think he was being a good slave, personally.....

SweetDommes -> RE: Tributes and price? (8/2/2005 9:50:07 AM)
I do appologise for lumping "tokens of affection" with "tribute" but many people do lump them together and I was trying to make a point - what some people consider to be 'tribute' in D/s would be considered 'tokens of affection' in a vanilla relationship (and this line of thought kind of goes along with Fastlane's thread about Dommes and if we can do vanilla things with our boys - as if we have to turn the Dominance off to cuddle rolls eyes). As I said before, there are things that we do/have done that would be considered "tribute" by some, but for us, it's just signs of affection from our boy(s). When we give them an assignment, we expect something to come of it, but we don't consider that to be tribute either, mostly because a submissive should be able to follow directions - anything that he buys to complete the assignment is his, we just want the completed assignment (which is normally a story or pictures). Imtempting - if you are only running across Dommes who insist on expensive tribute, then you need to change your search criteria, I think. Most that I know of will request one large thing as a sign that you are serious and not as likely to vanish after they put time and effort into you, and then it switches to the kind of thing that happens in 'vanilla' relationships - flower, candy, cards, tokens of affection.

darkinshadows -> RE: Tributes and price? (8/2/2005 10:02:44 AM)
I don't wish to hijack the thread, and I really feel this is related - but what is the difference between a 'tribute' and something just viewed as a simple gift - or even service? A couple of times, I have wanted to 'tribute' people with something because I know they would wish it. So, I have done as imtempting has mentioned. One was a poem, one a story, and two paintings. All were individual and unique, not to be repeated. Now they considered them tributes. As did I because that is what I was allowed. But I am intrigued and confused by the posts here - help! Peace and Love

AAkasha -> RE: Tributes and price? (8/2/2005 10:03:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetDommes I do appologise for lumping "tokens of affection" with "tribute" but many people do lump them together and I was trying to make a point - what some people consider to be 'tribute' in D/s would be considered 'tokens of affection' in a vanilla relationship (and this line of thought kind of goes along with Fastlane's thread about Dommes and if we can do vanilla things with our boys - as if we have to turn the Dominance off to cuddle rolls eyes). As I said before, there are things that we do/have done that would be considered "tribute" by some, but for us, it's just signs of affection from our boy(s). When we give them an assignment, we expect something to come of it, but we don't consider that to be tribute either, mostly because a submissive should be able to follow directions - anything that he buys to complete the assignment is his, we just want the completed assignment (which is normally a story or pictures). Imtempting - if you are only running across Dommes who insist on expensive tribute, then you need to change your search criteria, I think. Most that I know of will request one large thing as a sign that you are serious and not as likely to vanish after they put time and effort into you, and then it switches to the kind of thing that happens in 'vanilla' relationships - flower, candy, cards, tokens of affection. If a femdom demands it, it's a tribute. If a sub does it on his own initiative, it's a token of affection. A femdom (just like a vanilla woman) might get frustrated with a sub who is courting her if he shows zero initiative or forethought regarding a gesture of kindness or a thank you gesture. She may hint at it, but not give him a criteria to follow. The guidelines follow the same that vanilla courting does. Some guys bring flowers on the first date -- it's sweet (to some women). Some go overkill and bring something inappropriate. Some guys bring a bottle of wine if they are a guest to someone's dinner party. Some people send thank you cards, some don't. You can overdo it, or you can underdo it. It just depends on your nature. But if you look at it as "what is the appropriate gesture I need to do go get <insert desired act - sex, domination, a blow job>, you're coming at it from the wrong direction anyway. Akasha

LRODANDMASTER -> RE: Tributes and price? (8/2/2005 10:52:29 AM)
I DONOT NEED ANYTHING OF MONATERY VALUE AS A TRIBUTE I JUST WANNA BMW

mnottertail -> RE: Tributes and price? (8/2/2005 11:04:08 AM)
Dear LROD, I am sorry to hear that you are leaving the Monastery, is it possible that you haven't thought this through all the way? I am hear to lend an ear, if you wanna talk this out. Ron

Oumae -> RE: Tributes and price? (8/2/2005 12:58:17 PM)
SweetDommes I certainly wasnt having a go at you over "lumping" them together, it was more at the posts that moan about them but can't seem to differentiate between them. Ty AAkasha for defining the difference so nicely. Oumae

imtempting -> RE: Tributes and price? (8/2/2005 7:23:26 PM)
Um my original question was would you accept something as a tribute if it had no $ value?? I do not come across alot of people wanting tributes. It is a question I posed to seek an asnwer for which I was hoping would get some of the people that request a tribute from the submissive to answer. Myself and many others would view tributes as a certain amount of money but if tributes can be things such as drawing and poems it would help change the way people view Dominants wanting tributes.

SadisticPrincess -> RE: Tributes and price? (8/2/2005 9:45:01 PM)
For some reason "tribute" is prospeak for "charge for services rendered". If someone comes out and ASKS for tribute, I would imagine that only cash will do. I am happy with any sincere gift, even when it is completely loopy. (ie, I wear Chanel No 5, but was very gracious about the Chantilly....) I am not against the idea of asking for something costly as a means of proving interest/fidelity/staying power, though I am not sure that I would dictate the actual item. I DO expect the sub to pay for things that I don't find personally useful or interesting. Want electrical play? Go on and get me a violet wand. Boot guy? I wear size 8.

imtempting -> RE: Tributes and price? (8/2/2005 10:27:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SadisticPrincess I am not against the idea of asking for something costly as a means of proving interest/fidelity/staying power, though I am not sure that I would dictate the actual item. . So to my proove my worth to you I need to be able to "buy you off". Interesting. So what happens when the person cannot afford to buy some expensive. Are they not worthy?

LdyAuburn -> RE: Tributes and price? (8/3/2005 12:20:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dark~angel A couple of times, I have wanted to 'tribute' people with something because I know they would wish it. So, I have done as imtempting has mentioned. One was a poem, one a story, and two paintings. All were individual and unique, not to be repeated. Now they considered them tributes. As did I because that is what I was allowed. For me it is because the 'reason' for it. I have had gifts given to me because I am dominant, but not all gifts, monies... etc are given to me because I am a dominant.

LdyAuburn -> RE: Tributes and price? (8/3/2005 12:28:57 AM)
quote: So how many dominants would be happy to receive something like flowers or a drawing or a poem instead of something with a $ value? Dont use " we do a service" as this is pro domming and that is a payment not tribute. Thank you imtempting I think this probable one of those ones where people will have different ideas about tributes and money and thoughtfulness. What is your version of being thougtful ?

Rubyb -> RE: Tributes and price? (8/3/2005 12:57:45 AM)
My Nat and I are friends first, play partners second. Since we have a long distance relationship, he often sends me postcards or thoughtful gifts that don't cost a fortune, yet they show me that he cares. It's always wonderful to find a card in the mail with a picture of something he'll think I like and a clever note attached. That said, I, too like to surpise him with things in the snail-mail. Since I'm online quite a bit, he also sends me pictures via e-mail that he thinks will please me. I do the same. Have I specifically asked for these things? No. That's what makes them more special to me.

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