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Older sub verses younger sub (males) - 10/26/2007 10:39:32 AM

LotusSong

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I poached this from the General Forum as I felt it ALSO explains why some dommes prefer older submissive males:

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

quote:

ORIGINAL: mercmjm

what is it with girls having masters double their age? it really sucks for young doms like me trying to find a sub/slave when all of them want a dom who is practically old enough to be their father or grandfather. can someone answer me that

I don’t have the time to read through five pages of responses so I’ll just respond to the OP’s topic heading.

In many cultures, younger women traditionally are drawn to older men for a variety of reasons:

Firstly, it is believed that age usually equates with wisdom, something venerated in both eastern and oriental cultures. The view of beer bellies not being attractive is only so in a few cultures. In the Orient, the large belly is a sign of spiritual power. Ever see a Buddah with a six pack instrad of a large belly?

Secondly, it is also believed that older men are usually more financially established and thus are ready to provide a home for a new bride or concubine.

Thirdly, older men usually have settled down and understand who and what they are in comparison to the young bucks who spend more time in pissing contests and tend to be filled with piss and wind and bad manners. Besides which many women will say that an older man is a far better lover because he has both experience and knowledge to fall back on and has got past the belief that all a woman wants is a walking hard on to ram up her when ever the walking hard on wants……

Read this and weep young'uns.. read it and weep. He nailed it.

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RE: Older sub verses younger sub (males) - 10/26/2007 10:48:28 AM

aidan

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Oh...kay.

So how does this apply to those of us who aren't, ya know, callous blowhards with a little paunch? Not all young subs are jerks, and not all of us are looking exclusively for an older woman. But the things about experience and wisdom being attractive...Those can go for men as well as for women.

It's obviously not everyone's cuppa, but is there something inherently wrong with a younger submissive man being attracted to and seeking an older Dominant woman? Am I misreading the thread?

The whole "read'm and weep" tag at the end seems a little needlessly vindictive, too.

*goes to play Pokemon on his DS, thereby nullifying all statements he just made*

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RE: Older sub verses younger sub (males) - 10/26/2007 11:09:32 AM

Decimus

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I just want to say that anyone who makes blatant judgments on the factor of age is not only ignorant but only hurting themselves. There are plenty of wonderful people out there that are younger male subs!

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RE: Older sub verses younger sub (males) - 10/26/2007 11:23:59 AM

MistressHolly71

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quote:

ORIGINAL: aidan
is there something inherently wrong with a younger submissive man being attracted to and seeking an older Dominant woman?

Inherently wrong? I don't think I'd go that far. I want a sub that's mature & intelligent. Someone that I can have a conversation with in public or private. It's easier when you have things in common too.

quote:

So how does this apply to those of us who aren't, ya know, callous blowhards with a little paunch?

Not all of us who are older are "callous blowhards with a little paunch". But there are some that are. There are people your age that are more mature than some 40yo that I know & others that act like they're 5.

I think it's really more personal preference than anything, just read the profile to see if there's an age range listed. If there is & you're outside of it, you'll probably be rejected. I have my bulk filters set to catch people outside my range so I never read them.

edited for typos.

< Message edited by MistressHolly71 -- 10/26/2007 11:25:33 AM >

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RE: Older sub verses younger sub (males) - 10/26/2007 11:26:59 AM

MsIncontrol

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While I am in my late 30's and my husband is in his mid 40's, I actually prefer younger submissives most of the time.

I prefer a man who is open to new experiences in his journey than one who has been there, done that, has the t-shirt. I also prefer a man who with whom I can train to serve ME, not serve me in the way his former Mistress has trained him.

I also need a man with a strong back who can carry my almost 100 lbs of gear up four flights of stairs to the dungeon of choice. Even though I am a BBW, I love a man with a hard body, smooth skin, stylish clothes and that wide eyed excitement of having more life ahead of them then behind them.

I also prefer men without a lot of baggage and who are available. A lot of the older, more experienced men come with a lot of baggage (ex wives, ex mistresses, kids etc.) and can only fit serving me into their very busy schedules between business trips, weekends with the kids, etc.

Sure the younger boys don't always know what they are looking for, have a hard time accepting that their dick isn't enough to please me and don't always have the secure finances to allow him to travel or attend as many events as I would like but overall I enjoy exploring the young and willing. I do draw the line at giving someone gas money to come see me, and they must be able to buy me a cocktail at a bar if I want...he he he.

< Message edited by MsIncontrol -- 10/26/2007 11:30:15 AM >

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RE: Older sub verses younger sub (males) - 10/26/2007 12:05:33 PM

rubberpet

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Ah, a little controversy, I see. Let's get crackin'!

I can certainly understand why most women prefer men older than them. The logic stated above makes perfect sense. Financial security, wisdom, and ready to settle down are the big three. In that same sense, I was owned by a very nice Domme who was 17 years older than me. She was 40 and I was 23. We were together for almost five years and while her mature outlook on life was great, I was still too young to fully understand and grasp what she wanted. Old enough to know better, too young to care, I guess you could say. We had loads of fun, amazing chemistry, and our playtime and sex life were phenomenal. But alas, it didn't work because the age gap was too large and we were at different points in our lives.

Fast forward six and a half years and I'm with a wonderful young Domme who I absolutely love, cherish, and adore. She is six years younger than me (She'll be 23 in December), but She has the most mature outlook on life I've ever seen on someone Her age. While I'm not the wisest man out there, nor the most secure financially, I am ready to settle down and make a life with Her as my owner and wife. She has the maturity, the drive, and the intelligence that draws my attention. We have great chemistry, attraction, and loads of common interests. Those, with lots of trust and communication, are what's going to solidify things.

Always remember, age doesn't always mean wisdom or maturity, a large bank account doesn't breed love and trust, and an experienced lover doesn't always mean he's a knowledgeable or long-lasting lover. But a pot-belly is always a fun slip-n-slide if properly lubed up in KY!!!

Read that and weep, Ms. LotusSong!!! ***with all due respect, of course

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RE: Older sub verses younger sub (males) - 10/26/2007 12:41:22 PM

RigelTheRed

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Hmmmmm

I deal with all kinds of people. Some of the middle age people have the most ignorant individuals I have ever had the displeasure of dealing with. My experience has been that between about 20-50, wisdom really depends on the person. I don't think the age/wisdom connection becomes distinct until about 50, when it does at all.

As for being better lovers, experience does not necessarily equate to performance, knowledge. technique, or willingness to please.

We do live in one of those "few" cultures that finds a six pack more attractive than a beer belly.

And finally, if all older males were wiser, more financially stable, better in bed, and just as attractive as their younger counterparts, we would see many more 20yr old dommes looking for 40 yr old subs.

Regards,
                                                         Rigel



< Message edited by RigelTheRed -- 10/26/2007 12:52:01 PM >

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RE: Older sub verses younger sub (males) - 10/26/2007 12:58:58 PM

aidan

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressHolly71

quote:

So how does this apply to those of us who aren't, ya know, callous blowhards with a little paunch?

Not all of us who are older are "callous blowhards with a little paunch". But there are some that are. There are people your age that are more mature than some 40yo that I know & others that act like they're 5.

I just want to clear it up before the thread gets too deep, but I was refering to younger submissives with that statement, in contrast to the image put forth of a younger man who has no interest or knowledge of how to please his partner.

I really have no problem when somebody says "I'm not attracted to younger men" or "I'm not attracted to older men" or any variation you might find. Everyone's entitled to their needs and wants romantically and sexually. It's a...I'm trying to think of the proper wording...It's a notion that all peopl of one age bracket or another are decidedly this or that. When somebody tries to make a statement that translates their personal tastes into a general rule.

I know that's not quite what was happening here (at least I hope not), but I felt it prudent to speak up and throw that out there.

Also...I am feeling a bit mischievously smarmy today.

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RE: Older sub verses younger sub (males) - 10/26/2007 2:01:00 PM

LotusSong

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quote:

ORIGINAL: aidan

Oh...kay.

So how does this apply to those of us who aren't, ya know, callous blowhards with a little paunch? Not all young subs are jerks, and not all of us are looking exclusively for an older woman. But the things about experience and wisdom being attractive...Those can go for men as well as for women.

It's obviously not everyone's cuppa, but is there something inherently wrong with a younger submissive man being attracted to and seeking an older Dominant woman? Am I misreading the thread?

The whole "read'm and weep" tag at the end seems a little needlessly vindictive, too.

*goes to play Pokemon on his DS, thereby nullifying all statements he just made*

OOps.. I guess I should have clarified the last comment about "read 'em and weep". That was meant for the frustrated young doms on that thread, not to the male submissives on this one. I posted this as one answer to this now age old question.. what's wrong with younger males in bdsm?

You have to understand that my experiences with younger petitioners never go past a few emails or chats because it goes something like this:

Me: "Ok, I've read your limits, your hope your dreams and you interpretation of male submission".

Supplicant: "Yeah, and I'm REAL good at oral! When do you let me cum?"

Me: "When or if I say. Now your concept of submission is being obedient, loyal, ass worship, foot worship, breast worship... want to be locked in a cage ..."

Supplicant: "Yeah! Cages! I think a cage would be kewel! And you could take me out at any time and make me do oral on you!"

Me: " umm. yeah, right.. cage.. (takes a deep breath and continues). What other skills do you have?Organizational skills, pedicures,massage?"

Supplicant: "You mean other than being really good at oral? Ah..um.. I'm a quick learner. When do I get to cum? When I learn massage? I'll probably be good at massaging boobs... especially if I can cum!"

Me: "ah.. what exactly is your experiences with women to begin with?"

Supplicant: "OH! I fucked a LOT of girls in high school! Hard and fast for hours!!!!

Me: "Did THEY have any fun? :)"

Supplicant: "I don'tknow, they never wanted a second date. But anyway.. do you let your subs come often"?

and on and on it goes....

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 10/26/2007 2:10:53 PM >

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RE: Older sub verses younger sub (males) - 10/26/2007 3:26:55 PM

petdave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong
OOps.. I guess I should have clarified the last comment about "read 'em and weep". That was meant for the frustrated young doms on that thread, not to the male submissives on this one. I posted this as one answer to this now age old question.. what's wrong with younger males in bdsm?

Ah, thanks for the clarification... it was kind of a "WTF?" moment for me too.

All i can say in response is that there's no fool like an old fool, and 20 goes into 40 more times than 40 goes into 20

...dave
(young and rockin' the Buddha belly... yeaaaaahhhhhh)

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RE: Older sub verses younger sub (males) - 10/26/2007 3:35:26 PM

RosesHaveThorns

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quote:

Firstly, it is believed that age usually equates with wisdom, something venerated in both eastern and oriental cultures.

I have the strangest feeling that most people here are probably not from oriental cultures.

quote:

The view of beer bellies not being attractive is only so in a few cultures. In the Orient, the large belly is a sign of spiritual power. Ever see a Buddah with a six pack instrad of a large belly?

I also doubt that Buddah is meant to be sex on legs, either. When is the last time you saw Shiva with a pot belly? Or one of those J-pop/rock stars with one?

quote:

Secondly, it is also believed that older men are usually more financially established and thus are ready to provide a home for a new bride or concubine.

I'm pretty sure that nowadays many women can and want to make their own money. Also, I'd be a bit afraid for male subs if Dommes were chosing subs based on their wallet size.

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RE: Older sub verses younger sub (males) - 10/26/2007 9:55:35 PM

AAkasha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Read this and weep young'uns.. read it and weep. He nailed it.

As someone who sees a lot of value in young submissives and novices, the ones that are weeping are always the older, cranky subs. There's a big difference here. Young subs will get older.
Old subs can't get younger.

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RE: Older sub verses younger sub (males) - 10/26/2007 10:45:52 PM

FullfigRIMaam

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I was lucky in that the older gentleman I dated was lovely in many respects including sexual responsiveness. All things are never equal, so I cannot say which I'd prefer on age alone. It is true that I've tended to go for older as they seem more refined/gentlemanly, but I try not to judge someone by his age. I have never felt comfortable enough to date anyone >10years my junior, but realize that is my thing, not necessarily a fact the we couldn't work if I'd tried. M

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RE: Older sub verses younger sub (males) - 10/27/2007 4:52:53 AM

peterK50

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I am an older sub [obviously], bordering on an "old sub". I am active on the boards, relatively bright, personable, friendly, trifty, brave, thruthful, clean & reverant, [a regular boy-scout]. I have had maximum of 10 messages from Dommes over the years, half of those saying "I like your photo." I have had no, [zip, zero, nada, zilch], messages from any Domme under 40. I don't know why. I think I'd be a very good slave for any age. Experienced, trained, willing, I can do most anything. Yet, here I am. I read thread after thread from Mistresses who say all sub- males are phonies, players, wannabes etc. who disappear after three e-mails. These are the same Dommes who ignore my e-mails. I don't understand any of it. I'm giving CM until New Years Eve 2007. If it hasn't happened by then it ain't gonna. Then it'll be time to retire.

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RE: Older sub verses younger sub (males) - 10/27/2007 5:16:59 AM

MisPandora

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I don't find that generalization at all correct for my own experiences or circumstances. I seek someone who can be a partner to me. I want them within ~ 10 years of my own age. I've met younger guys that could run intelligence and maturity circles around the older ones. And I've had older ones be complete and total broke down dolts whose idea of 24/7 is them telling the woman what to do to them around the clock!

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RE: Older sub verses younger sub (males) - 11/18/2007 6:31:00 AM

youngsubgeoff

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OK, Im gonna take a stand here, for myself and other young male subs. True, I dont make as much money as a middle aged man, but enough to get by week to week. Also, a younger sub is much easier to influence and train, while older ones may be more set in their ways.

It seems that younger subs are thought to be less useful around the house. In my case, not so! I can cook, clean, I have basic home repair and auto matenince skills. Im sure as well that many other young subs have similar, if not better, uses.

Another thing Ive often heard is that, especially with men, young subs are too agressive. Personally, I know that my anger, and everything that just makes me sick, goes into my music. Anger and agression are not bad things, if given the proper outlets.

Just my .02

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RE: Older sub verses younger sub (males) - 11/18/2007 7:26:49 AM

kc692

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quote:

ORIGINAL: aidan

Oh...kay.

So how does this apply to those of us who aren't, ya know, callous blowhards with a little paunch? Not all young subs are jerks, and not all of us are looking exclusively for an older woman. But the things about experience and wisdom being attractive...Those can go for men as well as for women.

It's obviously not everyone's cuppa, but is there something inherently wrong with a younger submissive man being attracted to and seeking an older Dominant woman? Am I misreading the thread?

The whole "read'm and weep" tag at the end seems a little needlessly vindictive, too.

*goes to play Pokemon on his DS, thereby nullifying all statements he just made*

I apparently am coming to this thread very late, but as it looks like its been revived, I am stopping at this comment(#2) to make mine.

Aidan, if he nailed it, he nailed it for LotusSong. Do not assume that speaks for all of us. I have had younger and older subs, the age is not the defining factor, the maturity level is.

In your particular case especially, and in a few other younger males on these boards, if I were you I would not worry. For those that prefer older only, there are as many of us, that when we find those rare gems, do not care what their age is.(Hell, good ones like you are hard enough to find, no matter what the age, smiles). I enjoy your posts, and know many others do also, and would think that you would not have a hard time meeting people here.

edited to add: saw the disclaimer later about the read em and weep statement. Everything else I said I still think, smiles.

I also wanted to add not all of us are looking for sex in the dynamic, so experience levels there are irrelevant to some of us.

< Message edited by kc692 -- 11/18/2007 7:33:53 AM >

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RE: Older sub verses younger sub (males) - 11/18/2007 7:59:26 AM

chiaThePet

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Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am an older submissive.

Yet I am still filled with piss and vinegar and sport quite the hard on.

The only advantage I see over younger subs is, I have been both.

Sometimes we find the most beautiful beings where we least expect to.

"Don't you know that it's worth every treasure on earth
To be young at heart.
For as rich as you are, it's much better by far
To be young at heart." (Ah Frankie, we miss ya)

chia* (the pet)

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RE: Older sub verses younger sub (males) - 11/18/2007 8:40:32 AM

thetammyjo

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Actually I prefer younger subs. I find the fact that they can figure out their sexuality and their desire to serve at an early age to be a big turn on.

Plus the idea that they may have less experience or fewer old habits gives me something to work with in training.

Of course the ages I prefer changes as I get older myself. It used to be 18-35 but now, given my own age and the interests/needs of my entire household, I'm looking more in the 22-30 age range -- if I were actively looking that is.

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RE: Older sub verses younger sub (males) - 11/18/2007 10:09:58 AM

TexasMaam

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I'm 49 and often get approached by submales 20-35. I never even truly consider them as being sincere. It might not be fair, but there it is. I don't even bother to read their emails or reply to their inquiries whether here at CM or other sites.

When I spend quality time with a submale outside of the BDSM session, I want to converse about politics, economics, literature and entertainment, music, and go to a few social events that I find of interest.

I just can't see spending any time with someone who can name the Spice Girls but who can't give Me any opinion of Eric Clapton's latest come back recording.

Ditto movie stars, actors, entertainers: I don't follow J Lo's life events and can't name a single male actor who's been around for any less time than Matt Damon - that's just about the youngest actor that I keep track of. If the sub can't relate to the icons of My era, I probably can't relate to the icons of his era, either.

It's a charge to share the same interests in cuisine, current events, politics, music, art, business, economics, intelligent and meaningful discourse is a must for me.

I'm not saying that a young male sub cannot engage in meaningful dialogue about these things from his perspective, I'm just saying that I have no frame of reference for his mile markers, and he has no frame of reference for mine.

If that's selling a young sub short, so be it.

Give Me a man within 6 to 10 years of My own age, either direction. Old dogs can, and do, learn new tricks!

I think a 'trophy sub' would probably bore Me to death. ; )

That said, it is of importance to me that the sub be virile - having been previously involved with an ED afflicited sub, it's been a joy to find a sub my own age who's rutting like a teenager all the time. What a great mix! Mental and spiritual maturity with physical and psychological exuberance and playfulness..... Now THAT's a turn-on!

I love the new cadillac ad on TV: "....the question is, when you get in your car and turn it on, does it return the favor?".....lolol

"When you get the room and turn your sub on, does he return the favor?"

That sounds like a new Mantra, I think I'll keep it.

Thanks manthing, if you're reading! Mmmmmuuuuaaaah!

TexasMaam

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