RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (Full Version)

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grlneedstolearn -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 9:35:29 PM)

My Dom will take pics of me, but will only use the pics for our personal use no one elses. If your not comfortable with it, tell him. He should be able to respect your hard hard limits. Good luck with it



kitttty -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 9:36:14 PM)

What is RT? He lives on the other side of the not so big town we live in. We see each other frequently.

I am not sure if I am getting a harrowing punishment for this or the standard just for kicks caning.

guess I'll have to wait and find out.



brightspot -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 9:40:22 PM)

RT= RealTime, yes meaning you interact in real life not just on-line.
I stand by my opinion.
 
Missy.



Invictus754 -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 9:52:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlisteringBlonde

He may think this ...however ...recently in the news it was proved that its easy to reverse the marks ..thats how they caught that pedophile ...


It isn't that easy - it took the FBI a couple of days and a mathematical computer algorithm to undo it  - and if you look at the pictures they ended up with the picture still looks a little swirled.  If he didn't use photoshop to begin with, it may even make it harder to undo. 
 
Maybe you could reach a compromise - you tell him the reason you think you are identifiable, and he updates the photos so you are comfortable.



RosesHaveThorns -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 10:05:40 PM)

I know that morality is different, but I'm just gonna post according to my own sense right now, thinking that maybe she's asking for opinions.

Can people that know you identify you from the pictures? Do you work in a job, or might work in a job, where these photos will result in you being fired?

Also, if you are "Fucking pissed", then it should be a hard limit. You're not enjoying yourself, you sound like you wanna rip him a new one, so you are not enjoying yourself, and your trust in the guy is broken. If you can get access to his computer while his back is turned, consider erasing them and moving on if he does not do it himself.

Also: If he's punishing YOU when HE crossed a limit and made you uncomfortable...Get those pics deleted leave. How can you trust the guy if by communicating your limits, he punishes you?



proudsub -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 10:36:55 PM)

quote:

When I left the last relationship he even opened up his computer and said search and make sure nothing has been missed, he allowed me to choose what remained in his possession after I was gone.


That's certainly no guarantee that he didn't copy them to a cd, dvd, or flash ram, or send some out to friends. 



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 10:38:02 PM)

So you chose to be a no limits relationship- which means that you talked about doing things like this and decided it would be ok for him to do, and then he did it and you got upset about it?

Or that you chose to be a "no limits relationship" and really had no clue what you were agreeing to, he either deliberately or ignorantly acted in a way that crossed your not previously comfort level and you're both resorting to middle school tactics in reaction?



MissMagnolia -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 10:46:44 PM)

K, the marriage thing, the TPE thing, the no limits thing.....................Blah, I'm seeing a couple playing silly games.



Gwynvyd -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 10:47:06 PM)

Any time trust is breached it should be immediately dealt with through open and honest communication. Punishment should never ever be involved. TPE or not. This was to you a breach of trust... hell it would be to most of us.

He seems to be throwing a tantrum. Taking down all picts and saying you were misbehaving by requesting the face picts to be removed is IMO just throwing a hissy fit. Not very becoming of a Dom/me.

I am sure some part of you realizes that Marriage is not an fix all or a cure to someone or any one staying with you and looking out for your best interests in the long run. That peice of paper means nothing but a tax break, and it will cost them, and you money to walk away. That is all it means.
A relationship is what you make of it.. and is as solid as you *both* make it. Paper or no paper. If you feel you have to bludgeon him into a legal and binding contractual agreement between you and the US govt. to feel secure ~then perhaps he is not the one to be with? ( side note WTF do so many women feel this need? ) Presents arent promises... what is here today may not be here tomorrow so do not build your tomorrows on dreams for they have a habit of falling down in mid-flight. Decorate and tend your own garden instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. You will be much happier. As well as pleasently surprised when you find your Mr. Right when you *become* Ms. Right.

I have tons of very very naughty, humiliating and potentialy damaging pictures of my submissive Jamie. I would never ever post them any where period. It would be a breach of his trust he initaly had in me to take them. He agreed that I could show them to a few select people.. and only they got to see them.

I hope your Dom will take note of his folly and correct the matter.. and hopefuly you will realize some things as well.

Gwyn



SimplyMichael -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/26/2007 11:19:08 PM)

And another TPE discovers that it is more like tepid power exchange



Gwynvyd -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/27/2007 12:58:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

And another TPE discovers that it is more like tepid power exchange


This is why I stand by the idea that "No Limit slaves" are only No Limit until they find something that pushes thier boundries.

We all hope and pray the Dom/me will care for and be smart enough not to do silly shit. Sometimes praying isnt enough.

Sometimes we find triggers we didnt realize we had.

It happens.

Gwyn



laurell3 -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/27/2007 1:00:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

quote:

Oh God. If he marries you, it's all OK, but otherwise no?


What's wrong with feeling that way?

Marrying me is like promising that he will be there to deal with the consequences, in which case permanent damage to my reputation is a-ok by me- I would certainly like to be able to say that his happiness is more important than my public image. I just cant say that now.





sigh........so you would be happy with an abusive marriage?  That is what you are saying, he can't abuse me UNLESS he's married to me.  Think about it, how does that possibly make any sense whatsoever?



RosesHaveThorns -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/27/2007 1:06:09 AM)

I could promise the guy I am with that I'll win the lottery and give him blow-ups at least five times a day and never take him shopping again. Doesn't really mean much in the long run, regardless if I marry him or not. A promise is just words, and marriage is often the same thing. And think of divorce! I guess someone didn't keep up their end of the baragin here.

However, if by marriage you mean that you trust him enough to do such a thing and the relationship is at the point where you agree to be together for the long term, and you think that your relationship will result in marriage at that point, it is something different.

But the license itself isn't going to make Prince Charming out of a worm.



susie -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/27/2007 1:08:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

quote:

Oh God. If he marries you, it's all OK, but otherwise no?


What's wrong with feeling that way?

Marrying me is like promising that he will be there to deal with the consequences, in which case permanent damage to my reputation is a-ok by me- I would certainly like to be able to say that his happiness is more important than my public image. I just cant say that now.




It seems like the word DIVORCE has passed you by. Marriage is not a magical cure all and the fact that you can make such a comment as you have above shows that you have some fairy tale idea of marriage. Your idea that you are pissed with him now for doing what he has done, but it would be ok if he had done it if you were married is one of the most childish statements I have seen.

You need to grow up some and sort our what you want from a relationship before even thinking about marriage.



mydestiny2043 -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/27/2007 1:38:22 AM)

Hi kittti,
I guess it boils down to how much it truly bothers you,only you know what you can live with.Have you sat down and truly discussed how much it bothers you?In my humble opinion it should have been discussed before hand but that's just me.



hisannabelle -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/27/2007 2:41:22 AM)

greetings kittty,

if you are uncomfortable having a lack of limits and boundaries unless there is marriage or other long-term commitment involved...then do not enter into such a relationship unless that commitment is there and you know you can trust the person to deal with the consequences of whatever they might subject you to. "in theory we have a no limits relationship" just doesn't work out if you can't trust them, and it seems like you can't trust him to this extent, at least. if you feel he is incapable, for whatever reason (be it personal flaws, lack of commitment, or anything else) to have your ultimate welfare and safety in his power...do not put your ultimate welfare/safety in his hands.

i hope everything works out. it may be time to at least renegotiate where you both stand in the relationship with regards to limits, level of comfortability and commitment, etc. best of luck to you.

respectfully,
annabelle.



Daddysjezzy -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/27/2007 3:04:22 AM)

To me this post is about trust.  Do you trust him to protect your identity online?  Do you trust him not to do anything that will damage your reputation.  Do you trust him enough to have a real no limits M/s relationship?  If you trust him then there is no issue.  Obviously there is an issue... 



Aceton -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/27/2007 3:12:08 AM)

This is the same guy that made you troll for other women and then made you fear his punishment if you didnt find him one he liked, or one in a period of time he wanted, right?

I've read some of your posts and I know this about you 1) You're young, and 2) You're over awed by intellect. You go after brains like groupies go after rock stars.

Unfortunately, just because someone is smart doesn't mean he's not a complete asshole. He might have Einstein's IQ, but that doesn't really mean much when it comes to being kind, or caring, or a good partner. You're wayyy to young and immature to be thinking about hitching yourself, and maybe you should take some time, step back, and evaluate why you really like this guy. To me, he seems like an assclown.

Then again, a hole for every peg.

(Submitted knowing the OP will ignore the advice herein as she did the last time when he sent her to troll for other girls.)



MidnightMaiden -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/27/2007 4:30:08 AM)

quote:

In truth, if he made a more solid commitment to me, this wouldn't be an issue. If he married me (its my obsession- don't ask) then I would be more than happy to let him display my pics as he feels. But since I feel that this blog could affect my future somewhere down the road and he hasn't married me (which would mean he took official and public responsibility for my future), I have issues. If he does something to advserly affect me 5 years down the road and he is long gone 5 yrs down the road, then it is not fair to me.


As Master would say to me what's fair got to do with it?  Fairness implies an infringement of one's rights.
I gave up my rights when I entered his service, I am his property and I CHOSE Him as my owner.
If he sees fit to plaster photos of me all over the net, I chose poorly.





Prinsexx -> RE: Ok. This might just be the limit. (10/27/2007 4:42:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

So, Master has done something which really pushes me. It's not the first time but Ive always been able to stomach it better.

He took my emails and training pics and pxelated the eyes and made a blog. He showed me and he will not take it down. I feel that I am recognizable- in some photos extremely so. He will not take it down. I have not exactly insisted that he does. I dont know if I should. Is this a reasonable thing to get used to? It bothers me a lot.


Forgive me if I am mistaken: is your Master the one who wanted you to find another submissive for him? if not I apologise....

but in any case WHY has he done the pixelated thing.
virtually ANY computer enhanced,changed image can be reversed.....even the severe 'swirling' that so many use to hide their idenities.

But WHY?

My previous started doing that and then used it as a threat to send pics of me on the internet if i didi not do this or do that......it was my limit. It caused me to have a breakdown in that relationship and the only recourse I felt I had was to go to the Police. he threatened to send the pics to my publisher, employer and it wasn't so much the power he had OVER me but the perceived power he had over me which did the greatest psychological harm.
It's not about power OVER but power exchange and if you are getting no energy from this but just anxiety then in my personal opinion it's time to get out.

for me it was abuse....as it put me in a hostage situation where the only way i felt i could remain was to side with him....a Stockholm situation. I will never ever ever allow for that to happen again and the way to do it is to clearly communicate limits and expecttations.

My experience has made me stronger but it took me 5 months to get him oyr of my head.



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