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RE: Seeing this kind of crap is really beginning to wea... - 10/29/2007 4:17:40 PM   
maclough


Posts: 25
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline 		Hmmn, I suppose it's alot like my feelings about the profiles you read that say "I am being trained or serving Master now and he would like me to be trained by a female, Master does not HAVE to participate, but will be present for my protection only"  yeah right... Not much you can do.  Mind you I tend to message them and ask alot of questions that I can only hope makes them consider while answering them.  Especially the newbies and the younger ones, but who am I to fix everything?  *shrugs* Not alot we can do but hope that in the end their experience doesn't scare them away from the lifestyle they truly believed they belonged in.

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(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Seeing this kind of crap is really beginning to wea... - 10/29/2007 4:19:18 PM   
Kondolinni


Posts: 67
Joined: 4/2/2004
Status: offline 		For the record, I quoted the woman's writing as I did specificly in order to protect her privacy. I will attempt to recall the profile, and will invite the woman to comment. I will do so privately however, and am unlikely to mention it here if she declines... again, in an honest effort to protect her privacy.

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Seeing this kind of crap is really beginning to wea... - 10/29/2007 4:20:13 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Honestly, unless someone writes to the OP to ask his advice, I fail to see why he is so upset and weary of this. It is within anyone's right to post whatever they want on their own profile without being commented on.

Perhaps the OP should write to her and let her know how worried he is about her well being. I am sure she will think he is hitting on her.

Because that is the assumption she will make, just as he has made an assumption based on her words.

(in reply to maclough)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Seeing this kind of crap is really beginning to wea... - 10/29/2007 4:21:01 PM   
Squeakers


Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline 		So the problem is---she is probably new she comes on the site speaks to a Dom for probably a short period of time, she is wearing those rose colored glasses (that probably everyone has had on a time or two), they talk about meeting, he puts her 'under consideration' (probably he is new too or perhaps a wanker looking for a few months of cyber Domination) and you (the OP) are tired of the crap and it hurts you because she is probably just 'one of those types' that has been abused or has emotional problems or what ever else you said?    WHY?   So she is not someone you would want to pair up with---fine no problems there.   Who cares really what others are doing---I personally am not going to lose any sleep over a profile I read.   I found it rather funny in my own warped sense of humor.   
   I think it's all boils down to this --  "I am real time, I was never new to any of this and I found the net knowing all the 'rules' of being a 'true Dom' and anyone who is not just like me should get the hell out of this lifestyle because they do not belong."     I am not an honestly not of this opinion at all, I have nearly 20 years real time experience, I WAS ABUSED as a child, have a very  positive outlook, I am emotionally healthy and I am in a very stable loving and ROMANTIC D/s relationship, I have a job, I am financially secure and it was ME who put me in that position---although I may not agree with paths others have taken or how they chose to lead THEIR lifestyle, I feel it would be terribly intolerant of me to call another persons profile crap.
   I apologise competely if this was not the intent of the OP but that abused statement REALLY pissed me off.    I was there and I can not change it and honestly this lifestyle for me was not a self destructive path---I embrace it because in reality it merely lead me down a path of knowing myself, bettering myself and restoring the a bit of the sanity I had lost years before I knew this lifestyle even exsisted.     

Edited to say---this was a fast reply and not directed at whoever I posted after.

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Seeing this kind of crap is really beginning to wea... - 10/29/2007 4:21:38 PM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		She sounds happy.
She doesn't look broken.
She may be very young and idealistic and thinks that someone can complete her. We all know we can only complete ourselves and are complimented by another.
D/s, vanilla, whatever, we are ALL idealistic at the beginning of any relationship. No one goes into a relationship, online or in real life, thinking that it won't work.
It may work out, may not work out. That's the risk of living and loving.
I hope it does work out for her.

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if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Seeing this kind of crap is really beginning to wea... - 10/29/2007 4:25:08 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kondolinni

For the record, I quoted the woman's writing as I did specificly in order to protect her privacy. I will attempt to recall the profile, and will invite the woman to comment. I will do so privately however, and am unlikely to mention it here if she declines... again, in an honest effort to protect her privacy.


I'm sure shes going to be really honoured to be the centre of a thread where you claim her to be damaged goods. I hope she balls you out for it to be honest. I cannot see how  what she has put in her profile ever had or does have something to do with you and your judgemental ego.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to Kondolinni)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Seeing this kind of crap is really beginning to wea... - 10/29/2007 4:32:14 PM   
Kondolinni


Posts: 67
Joined: 4/2/2004
Status: offline 		I find it very interesting and entertaining how some of the responders to my OP are interpreting MY feelings and intentions.

I have no interest in the girl. I don't want to save her. I don't want to save anybody.

I had a thought, and a feeling, and decided it might be enlightening to let others opine upon it.

Opine you most certainly have...lol.

I renderred the OP so that it reflected the initial, gut-level response to the profile. I could have done otherwise. I could have thought about it for a while, rationalized it, intellectualized it, and so forth. I could have written the post so that it defined my feelngs in a more pallatable form. I chose not to.

I don't obsess about much of anything, to be honest. I do have feelings, though. Sometimes they are very very positive... sometimes not.

That's life.

I'll tell you what I learned from this thread and all of  your responses; I must be careful not to allow emotional impressions affect my consideration of a topic. To do so is to invite all sorts of mistakes. In this case, it seems, first impressions are not the ones to hold to.

< Message edited by Kondolinni -- 10/29/2007 4:35:04 PM >

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Seeing this kind of crap is really beginning to wea... - 10/29/2007 4:36:59 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		Maybe you should also consider that this girl who you speak of has not asked for your help. She hasnt asked you to parade her in front of us. She didnt ask for your pity or judgement.
She wrote a profile which yes you are free to read and consider in any way you see fit. Judge her if you wish. But you have no right to bring it to the boards and make wild assumptions about things she has written.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to Kondolinni)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Seeing this kind of crap is really beginning to wea... - 10/29/2007 4:37:51 PM   
Squeakers


Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kondolinni

I find it very interesting and entertaining that some of the responders to my OP are interpreting MY feelings and intentions.

I'll tell you what I learned from this thread and all of  your responses; I must be careful not to allow emotional impressions affect my consideration of a topic. To do so is to invite all sorts of mistakes. In this case, it seems, first impressions are not the ones to hold to.
    I found it interesting and entertaining that YOU took a profile and created a very negative personality for it.    But I am pleased that a lesson was learned, because that learning part NEVER stops at least I hope it does not because if it does---I certain am going to go find something else to do.

(in reply to Kondolinni)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Seeing this kind of crap is really beginning to wea... - 10/29/2007 4:43:47 PM   
slavegirljoy


Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline 		Really?  You really find this to be a bad thing for someone to say on their personal profile?  Are you some kind of bitter cynic, who can't fathom the very thought that some people do find what they're looking for on this site and are truly happy?  And, even if you are, aren't we allowed to write anything we choose on our personal profile?  How do you know that she isn't the happiest woman on the planet, tonight?  And, if she isn't, what difference does it make to you?  Who made you the profile critic for CM?   Honestly, don't people have better things to do with their time than to go through the profiles and find one that they can criticize and then bring it to the boards to publicly condemn and feed to the wolves?  Hey, here's an idea, why don't you find yourself a fulfilling hobby or volunteer your ample free time to a worthy cause, rather than look for profiles you can ridicule?  Who's profile will be attacked next?  You want to go look at mine, copy and paste some part of it here and throw your stones at it?  Be my guest.  This sort of 'search and destroy mission' sickens me.  i need to go take a shower now, after reading this post.  This is just disgusting to me. slave joyOwned property of Master David
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kondolinni

I haven't posted in a while, but I was reading a few profiles today and came across this:

( I have recently met a man that I think will be a wonderful Dom/Master, a man that sounds as if he can fulfill all of my wants, needs and desires and who hopefully I can please with my own submission and servitude.  He has me "under consideration" and we shall soon meet.  I really feel good about this, amazingly good and hopeful. )

Fucking Christ.

There are too many broken women trying to rationalize their wounds by hiding them beneath a banner of submission on sites like this.

(in reply to Kondolinni)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Seeing this kind of crap is really beginning to wea... - 10/29/2007 4:46:05 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kondolinni

I haven't posted in a while, but I was reading a few profiles today and came across this:

( I have recently met a man that I think will be a wonderful Dom/Master, a man that sounds as if he can fulfill all of my wants, needs and desires and who hopefully I can please with my own submission and servitude.  He has me "under consideration" and we shall soon meet.  I really feel good about this, amazingly good and hopeful. )

Fucking Christ.

There are too many broken women trying to rationalize their wounds by hiding them beneath a banner of submission on sites like this.

Amen brother!  PREACH IT!
 
My heart also goes out to the walking wounded. Those that have come to this arena as a last ditch effort to find someone loyal, honest, caring and nurturing; all definitions of a "Dom/me" only to find that it's really no different than any other type of relationship.  By this I mean, they still have to have their street smarts, leave their baggage behind, realize that there are just as many cads as there are in their vanilla world they left behind.  Just because someone defines themselves with a title or are good at kink play, doesn't guarantee happiness.  If anything, one can make themselves way more vulnerable by believing the lifestyle here is any more honest and loving and a "sure thing" than what they left behind.

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 10/29/2007 4:50:30 PM >

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I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to Kondolinni)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Seeing this kind of crap is really beginning to wea... - 10/29/2007 5:01:15 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		i am not going to be like the other drive by posters and be critical for how someone sees in a profile how someone might be a certain way. You never know how someone is till you get to know them. But there is a lot of messed up people here looking for a easy out to their problems. NO dom domme and sub can fix you or your problems  But the so called gods and goddess of the net. will say so shrugs  have at it be well

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Seeing this kind of crap is really beginning to wea... - 10/29/2007 5:09:17 PM   
Kaiynasha


Posts: 172
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline 		I feel you greatly. I am concerned with so many who have desires to submit not all now, but many, who have unfinished business. And then expect their unfinished business to be worked out and through their dominant partner. There's a lot of people who would love to get their hands on someone and hurt them. Submission is not always the answer. In my opinion should never be the answer to deal with unfinished business.

  • Individual counseling is an answer.
  • Going on a retreat to find yourself again is an answer.
  • Taking care of yourself and learning your own boundaries is the answer.
  • Finding your center is the answer
  • Group counseling is an answer
  • Understand the true dynamics of submission through research, study, and even through a trusted mentor is an answer.

But hey, people will do what they feel they NEED to do. People are adults...at least I hope they are...and therefore responsible for their own choices no matter how wrong I think it is. And when it does go wrong, I don't mind being there to get them through it. Just wish they would listen to that hidden voice and gut feeling first.



(in reply to Kondolinni)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Seeing this kind of crap is really beginning to wea... - 10/29/2007 5:50:23 PM   
welshwmn3


Posts: 126
Joined: 3/14/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kondolinni


Too often situations like this are not good. The girl is willing to give this guy a chance to hurt her, in all probability, because she has de-valued herself. The guy is, is all probability, working a line on someone he perceives to be an easy mark.




What do you have to base your thoughts on besides her saying that they've not met IRL yet?  You are jumping to a LOT of conclusions here. 

Just because somebody hasn't met somebody IRL, and is going 'under consideration' does NOT mean that they are de-valuing themselves, or opening themselves up for more hurt than any relationship has the possibility to give.

Just sayin'.

(in reply to Kondolinni)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Seeing this kind of crap is really beginning to wea... - 10/29/2007 6:03:24 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		Well...I read almost all of this thread. To the OP...I commend you Sir for your compassion, and humanity. I also see things often that hurt me, and not in a good way....on the news...on the internet...sometimes from family or friends sometimes I sound off...sometimes I stay silent...I have sounded off here as a matter of fact... I have had my share of "scorch" marks as well LOL might get some more now   So well said... and I getcha...I get that you perceive someone is hurting, and you just think its sad ....I hope I never  stop feeling for and with other people...If that ever happens throw some dirt on me and finish it....

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Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to Kondolinni)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Seeing this kind of crap is really beginning to wea... - 10/29/2007 6:04:47 PM   
dollenburg


Posts: 63
Joined: 10/27/2007
Status: offline 		Not bad advice.

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Seeing this kind of crap is really beginning to wea... - 10/29/2007 8:08:31 PM   
Phoenix2raven


Posts: 347
Joined: 10/14/2006
Status: offline 		raven says: the only part of this that irks me is the OP referred to said profile as "this kind of crap" in his subject. if one cares, do they really refer to another's words as crap?

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If you're a Dominate, are you looking for a sublimate?

(in reply to maclough)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Seeing this kind of crap is really beginning to wea... - 10/29/2007 8:12:20 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		She says she met somebody online and they've formed a connection. And that they're planning to meet soon and hope the connection is there in real life.

I think that's charming and sweet, and I hope she's lucky enough to find that the guy she met online still does it for her in person. It does happen like that sometimes, it did for me.

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Seeing this kind of crap is really beginning to wea... - 10/29/2007 8:25:12 PM   
iammachine


Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline 		I... don't get it. So the text you quote seems naive maybe, but it really doesn't scream "wounded" to me.

Some time ago I met a dude that I was pretty excited about. Over time, my excitement waned and it turned out that we weren't compatible beyond friends. That was okay because neither of us were invested past being fairly giddy infatuated. The fact that the "possibilities" didn't pan out doesn't change the happy glowy quality time that we both got to spend  with those "possibilities", which is what the quoted text comes across as to me.

What's wrong with being optimistic, so long as it doesn't completely run away with you?



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I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to Kondolinni)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Seeing this kind of crap is really beginning to wea... - 10/29/2007 8:28:11 PM   
apiercedkitty


Posts: 569
Joined: 2/22/2007
From: Michigan
Status: offline 		i've read the post a few times and i'll be DAMNED if i can see where You read it as some woman who's not submissive - who's just HIDING under the title that's been abused and stomped on and should be held for observation for 72 hours. i just don't get it. What i see is a woman who may or may not be submissive (but who appears to THINK she is) who maybe has a VERY fairy tale view of life... i don't necessarily think that's a bad thing though... live and let live... why the need to turn what she thinks is her happiness into something so ugly and negative?

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normal is a setting on a washing machine...

(in reply to Kondolinni)
Profile   Post #: 60
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