S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts?

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S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 12:08:43 PM

MasterDaveM

Posts: 78
Joined: 12/5/2006
From: Tampa
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So I am being all introspective today... What are your thoughts and feelings on S&M kink vs D/s M/s

Personally I always viewed D/s M/s as the relationship dynamic... the S&M being a kink much like any other. Sometimes I get the impression that people forget the differences

being a s&m bottom does not make you necessarily a sub/slave. same god for Tops vs Dominants

Personally, I am not a kinkster, but to each his own. I do find that many enter into the "lifestyle" for the kink and thrill more so than the totality of a relationship... it becomes more about the sex than the relationship as a whole.

I prefer 24/7 M/s relationships... thats just my "thing"... but find the whips and chains boring in terms of sessions (though i do love a woman in chains... so maybe i have some kink in me... or is that more of a fetish lol )

thoughts?

Post #: 1

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 12:10:06 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

/sigh

fuck it; passing on this one this time

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RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 12:13:30 PM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

paging LA, paging LA....

why do they do this on Mondays?

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One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 3

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 12:16:06 PM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

Isnt S&M as valid,. cant be bothered with this kind of argument

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(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 4

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 12:16:12 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Look up the other threads where this same question is beaten like a dead horse. You aret the first to be all introspective, nor the frst to post about it on here. Instead of cutting and pasting the responses from all those other boards... us search for them. We all had opinions on it, and have voiced them time and time again. And if LA ever wakes up, shell point you at each and every one of them.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
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VampiresLair

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 5

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 12:19:08 PM

writergirl

Posts: 29
Joined: 7/24/2005
Status: offline

Interesting that it's couched as adversarial: S/M versus M/s.

I don't think there's anything wrong with either, I don't think they're mutually exclusive nor mutually inclusive. I don't think they're at odds. I think some people find their wants and needs met with one, the other or both. Others don't.

There is no us versus them. People just are what they are.
wg

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 6

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 12:20:14 PM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

I think if you get ripped it will not be for the things you have written but for the fact that it is on the obvious side with a minor appearance, maybe just me though, of what I am interested in is better.

Most people, I think, certainly myself came to M/s through the kinky things and found out why we were drawn to them was a far deeper and wider and went from there. As you point out to each their own but do not diminish the kink people by thinking the kink trumps relationships. That is weak and wrong.

Coming into this life because of the kink and having the kink trump a relationship is two very different things that you should not lump in together. Whether disclaimed or not people will, I have, call you out on that.

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I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

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(in reply to MasterDaveM)

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RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 12:20:25 PM

Estring

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
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What's your favorite color?

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RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 12:21:23 PM

MasterDaveM

Posts: 78
Joined: 12/5/2006
From: Tampa
Status: offline

is not vs as an adversarial... its one or the other... neither being good nor bad... nor one better than the other. its a "which are you" and your preferences kind of discussion

(in reply to writergirl)

Post #: 9

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 12:24:36 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

It's not one or the other for a large number of people. My kink is inherently a part of the relationship and no one else can suggest to me it's not or that it shouldn't be.

(in reply to MasterDaveM)

Post #: 10

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 12:26:58 PM

MasterDaveM

Posts: 78
Joined: 12/5/2006
From: Tampa
Status: offline

not necessarily being one or the other. sure many intertwine multiple parts to any relationship, but perhaps the larger question is to which where you folks most drawn to when you entered into the lifestyle? the kink or the domination/subjegation?

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 11

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 12:29:16 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

/glances at the hole the suit is digging; shakes her head and sits back to wait

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Post #: 12

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 12:29:29 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

Both

(in reply to MasterDaveM)

Post #: 13

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 12:32:09 PM

MasterDaveM

Posts: 78
Joined: 12/5/2006
From: Tampa
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

/glances at the hole the suit is digging; shakes her head and sits back to wait

yawns at the personal insults... sorry i am too old for high school flaming... next contestant

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 14

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 12:36:24 PM

writergirl

Posts: 29
Joined: 7/24/2005
Status: offline

I was drawn to the kink initially. Please keep in mind that was the *early* days of the internet and information on the lifestyle wasn't as readily available as it is now (though it was, indeed, available). Like anything else in life, as I went on, I learned more about myself and what I wanted and needed. Now, like laurel, my kink is a part of my relationship. It has been for all my relationships since my divorce in 96.

Again, they're not mutually exclusive.
wg

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 15

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 12:41:39 PM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
Status: offline

In it's simplest breakdown.....

Dominant/submissive is who we are.

Master/slave is our relationship.

Bondage/Discipline/Sadism/Masochism are activities we participate in.

(in reply to MasterDaveM)

Post #: 16

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 12:44:30 PM

MistressPurpleFL

Posts: 112
Joined: 10/2/2005
Status: offline

I have always been dominant but as a youngster I had no clue as to why I loved telling the boys what to do or why I was fascinated with metal objects... I knew there was something different about me; luckily for me I love to learn new things and found my way to the BDSM lifestyle. The kink or the sexual aspect of the lifestyle is a plus but I do not necessarily have to have sex in order to get satisfaction. Being dominant is who I am and not what I play at being from time to time.

The toys or kink activity is a bonus.

_____________________________

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"Nothing caresses like a suede whip in my hand; now let me touch you all over." Be me

"Smile at me with your eyes as you KNEEL to serve me with your HEART!" By me

(in reply to writergirl)

Post #: 17

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 12:46:21 PM

MasterDaveM

Posts: 78
Joined: 12/5/2006
From: Tampa
Status: offline

quote:

Dominant/submissive is who we are.

Master/slave is our relationship.

Bondage/Discipline/Sadism/Masochism are activities we participate in.

I like that... nice and simple... i always said.. "Dominant is who I am.. .Mastery is what I do with it"

but i am one for clean little catchall boxes... even if life doesnt always fit in one

(in reply to MistressPurpleFL)

Post #: 18

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 12:46:59 PM

MistressPurpleFL

Posts: 112
Joined: 10/2/2005
Status: offline

YESSSSs. Simple. Great answer

_____________________________

"Life is too short to stay in the missionary position" By Mistress PurpleFL

"Nothing caresses like a suede whip in my hand; now let me touch you all over." Be me

"Smile at me with your eyes as you KNEEL to serve me with your HEART!" By me

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)

Post #: 19

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 12:50:57 PM

MasterDaveM

Posts: 78
Joined: 12/5/2006
From: Tampa
Status: offline

welll. that was a quick thread... now i have it all figured out lmao

who wants sherbet?

(in reply to MistressPurpleFL)

Post #: 20

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