RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts?

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RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 2:22:49 PM

RosesHaveThorns

Posts: 312
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

People don't have the same type of relationship with their mother as they do with their SO. I least, I hope not. Yet, both are deep, invovled relationships. You just don't connect the same way. People have different types of friendships. So it's only natural to be something different with different people with different needs and likes.

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 41

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 2:26:44 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SmokingGun82

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3
Your comments on her life are inappropriate as you know nothing about her and if you did, you'd think twice about such comments.

The problem is, this insinuates that he is capable of thinking once before speaking, let alone twice.

That would be a third grade insult, which feels oddly appropriate here.

wanna go jump rope....I got a this new way I can teach you...(weg)

(in reply to SmokingGun82)

Post #: 42

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 2:35:13 PM

SmokingGun82

Posts: 575
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3
wanna go jump rope....I got a this new way I can teach you...(weg)

Despite the nagging feeling this will end badly, I'd have to say yes. New things are always interesting...

_____________________________

It frightens me, the awful truth of how sweet life can be.
- Bob Dylan

Proper capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my Uncle Jack off a horse" and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."

(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 43

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 2:36:36 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

ahahah....ties you up with the rope and looks down...I like this new game, don't you??

(in reply to SmokingGun82)

Post #: 44

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 2:48:51 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

Ok then; by all means, let’s go a couple rounds here bright boy.

quote:

Personally I always viewed D/s M/s as the relationship dynamic... the S&M being a kink much like any other. Sometimes I get the impression that people forget the differences

So, YOU view D/s and M/s as a dynamic and S&M as a kink? Well, fuck…. Good for you bright boy… So do a lot of other people.
You get the impression that people forget the difference? Why? Even better, show me where, on these boards, you have seen this.

quote:

Personally, I am not a kinkster, but to each his own.

So you are not a kinkster. Once again… whoopee… good for you

quote:

I do find that many enter into the "lifestyle" for the kink and thrill more so than the totality of a relationship... it becomes more about the sex than the relationship as a whole.

So, you find that more enter the lifestyle for kink and not for the total relationship? And according to you ( in the same sentence ), kink is just sex. Personally, I think you need to get out more and meet a better quality of people if that is what you think,

quote:

I prefer 24/7 M/s relationships... thats just my "thing"... but find the whips and chains boring in terms of sessions (though i do love a woman in chains... so maybe i have some kink in me... or is that more of a fetish lol )

You find whips and chains boring? More power to you bright boy. Personally, I find you boring.
Each to their own though right.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to MasterDaveM)

Post #: 45

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 3:08:16 PM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

but i am one for clean little catchall boxes... even if life doesnt always fit in one

Figures!!
Labels, labels, why why why?
Why do you have the need for things to fit into nice little boxes?
Why not accept that most of us fit into far more than one box.
I alone fit into:-
Mother
Employer
Slave
Slut
Friend
Daughter
Employee
Freak
Masochist
Etc etc etc

*helpfully* you forgot cutie-pie!

kitten, smiling

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 46

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 3:13:27 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterDaveM
if stating that i am "too good" for personal insults is self righteous, then self righteous i am... it is beneath me. next...

and dissmissive... wow, you're really racking up brownie points with the regulars...

here's a little hint....have you ever hung out at a bar? or a restraunt where the same people went every day? you know how its a bad idea to waltz into one of those places with established regulars and act like you know something or you're all that and a bag of chips? it's the same way around here...we all paid our dues...pay yours, then you get to be a smart ass...

hey MasterDave....bet this advice is starting to look better to you after your little excursion to the Gor boards huh? Want to stop talking and start learning now, because that's one of the silliest mistakes I've seen in awhile.
http://www.collarchat.com/m_1373956/mpage_2/tm.htm

edited to add: by the way some of the people you insulted today might still be the first to help you understand, because being Dominant doesn't mean being arrogant, always being right, being superior or being demanding....that is the description of a fool.

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 10/29/2007 3:25:22 PM >

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 47

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 3:28:45 PM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: adoracat

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

but i am one for clean little catchall boxes... even if life doesnt always fit in one

Figures!!
Labels, labels, why why why?
Why do you have the need for things to fit into nice little boxes?
Why not accept that most of us fit into far more than one box.
I alone fit into:-
Mother
Employer
Slave
Slut
Friend
Daughter
Employee
Freak
Masochist
Etc etc etc

*helpfully* you forgot cutie-pie!

kitten, smiling

Giggles - i did?
Why thank you

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to adoracat)

Post #: 48

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 3:51:12 PM

EvilGenie

Posts: 1323
Joined: 9/10/2007
From: Morocco and Maine occasionally
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterDaveM

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

/glances at the hole the suit is digging; shakes her head and sits back to wait

yawns at the personal insults... sorry i am too old for high school flaming... next contestant

You may perhaps be too old for high school but are still a major putz. Especially as you do not know the difference between an insult versus flaming. I have read many many of your thread starters and really do wish you'd crawl over to MySpace and be head of your own universe.

Want to speak of flaming? You always post to incite and type your original posts very poorly. YOU have the right to post here and so do OTHERS though you think otherwise if not in your agreement. Should you not agree with a reply, a REAL Dominant would simply skip them versus hurling his own lame insults back.

If someone insults me, it is simply ignored as I know better and feel not the need to retort especially with an ''oh yeah?'' style in great juvenile fashion. If you're going to insult then at the very least make it witty but I doubt your dourness has any wit.

(in reply to MasterDaveM)

Post #: 49

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 3:51:23 PM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

quote:

ORIGINAL: adoracat

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

but i am one for clean little catchall boxes... even if life doesnt always fit in one

Figures!!
Labels, labels, why why why?
Why do you have the need for things to fit into nice little boxes?
Why not accept that most of us fit into far more than one box.
I alone fit into:-
Mother
Employer
Slave
Slut
Friend
Daughter
Employee
Freak
Masochist
Etc etc etc

*helpfully* you forgot cutie-pie!

kitten, smiling

Giggles - i did?
Why thank you

you're very welcome!!!

kitten, whose boybeast has the same color eyes as miss's

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 50

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 4:12:19 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Hey I'm busy during the day now :)

Anyway, as others have said, Ms/Ds tend to be our orientation/relationship dynamic while bdsm/kinky stuff is the stuff that we DO.

They can be as included or excluded from eachother as you like.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_859957/mpage_1/key_bdsm/tm.htm#860025
ds and bdsm there's a difference!

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to adoracat)

Post #: 51

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 7:52:03 PM

TakenPet

Posts: 147
Joined: 1/12/2007
Status: offline

I think a lot of people are drawn in by one thing but as stated by laurell3, depending on the nature ofyour relationship, it inherently becomes part of your relationship, there is no longer that clear line between kink, S&M. Your relationship is not defined by your actions but your actions are defined by your relationship. Its whatever works for you and for a lot of people the experience becomes so intertwined it can no longer be disected in the way that you are asking.

(in reply to MasterDaveM)

Post #: 52

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 8:39:51 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

Some tops are sadists, some tops are masochists. Some tops play tennis, some tops prefer golf. If you're both a sadist and a dominant then you will want to incorporate your preferred play into your relationship. Of course a sadistic dominant who plays golf will inflict pain on his sub by forcing her to play golf also.

I'm into bondage and D/s, and so is The Man. That makes us compatible. That said, I'm not compatible with sadistic dominants nor with sadistic submissives. I'm also not compatible with golf playing dominants. And he's not compatible with golf playing submissives. Gold is a definite hard limit unless it's miniature golf which is a totally different kettle of fish.

(in reply to MasterDaveM)

Post #: 53

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 8:46:32 PM

MissSCD

Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline

The lifestyle itself is a journey into new adventures. I remember when I was new, I could not stay from studying about it or talking to others.
Now that I am a a rounded individual I go with the relationship. We are Mistress/slave which is a more discipline related structure where S and M is more of the scientic approach to the entire thing. We all fall under the categories, but why label? At the end of the day, we need to enjoy each other's company and have fun. That is what I believe.

Regards, MissSCD

(in reply to Celeste43)

Post #: 54

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 8:53:44 PM

maclough

Posts: 25
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline

I was drawn into this thing called *shhhhh don't tell anyone this* BDSM and that somehow seems to include bd ds sm .... for me it's one in the same i am a submissive masochist and my Owner is a Sadistic Dom and i am a bondage whore sooooo yep all equal to me :)... equal opportunity yay

_____________________________

huggs, kisses, whips and chains

Labels BAH

(in reply to MasterDaveM)

Post #: 55

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/29/2007 11:19:24 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

It sounds like you and I might subscribe to the same school of thought (that Master Steve teaches):

Top/bottom - physical relationship
Dom/sub - Mental relationship
Master/slave - spiritual relationship

They're interchangable, although, it seems rarer to find a Master who is a sub...but I know many Masters who are bottoms.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to MasterDaveM)

Post #: 56

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/30/2007 12:47:40 AM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

My Master and I just said to each other today..We are who we are...I am His slave..servant...for life...He is my Master...my servant for life....thats who we are...That has zero to do with whether we are vanilla in the bedroom or not.

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to MasterDaveM)

Post #: 57

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/30/2007 4:06:33 AM

Cyntilating

Posts: 581
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline

Hi Dave

sherbet <perk> I'll take rainbow..
   I like many flavors, mixed together..all swirly
   some tang..some bite...some sweet..some good ol' basic vanilla..

hey! kind of like I like my kinky Ms ( that is Master/submissive) relationship..

what drew me here> was the dynamic of the Ds relationship.

    it would still be something I wanted in my life/relationships even if it were void of kinky stuff..

the kinky stuff> I have always been sexually edgy ( even was in my vanilla marriage...unfortunately,to his disgust ).
finding out this lifestyle has "the whips & chains" was an added bonus and something I was open to.

I tried the physical aspect of b/d/s/m without the D/s relationship wrapped around it> and it didn't work for me.
I am not a bottom..I am a submissive woman. I am attracted to a dominant male. I thrive in a Master/submissive relationship. We express our roles ( in control and submitting) sometimes with/by using the implements of s/m bdms. We are basically frisky, sexually expressive and explorative in general and so kinky describes our mood and behavior at times. The mindset and the dynamic is a constant tho' .

_____________________________

Cyndi

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to MasterDaveM)

Post #: 58

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/30/2007 4:58:41 AM

wintersbreath

Posts: 23
Status: offline

Hello MasterDaveM

quote:

Personally I always viewed D/s M/s as the relationship dynamic... the S&M being a kink much like any other. Sometimes I get the impression that people forget the differences

Personally, I have always viewed S&M as an extension of a person’s personality. They can be Dominant or submissive and they can be sadistic or masochistic. The willingness and ability to use this part of their personality during play is an enhancement for all parties involved.

quote:

being a s&m bottom does not make you necessarily a sub/slave. same god for Tops vs Dominants

In regards to tops and bottoms; I disagree with what you have said. A person who likes and enjoys these personality traits during specified times does not make them NOT submissive; it just means that they prefer the title/label only when they are playing. ( and this is not meant as a generalization; it is only how I tend to view things )

quote:

Personally, I am not a kinkster, but to each his own. I do find that many enter into the "lifestyle" for the kink and thrill more so than the totality of a relationship... it becomes more about the sex than the relationship as a whole.

I am confused about this part here. Why do you say that sex is a kink? And what does this have to do with being sadistic or masochistic?

quote:

I prefer 24/7 M/s relationships... thats just my "thing"... but find the whips and chains boring in terms of sessions (though i do love a woman in chains... so maybe i have some kink in me... or is that more of a fetish lol )

There are some who are in relationships that are lasting and long term; who live the dynamic of D/s/M/s; and who are sadistic and masochistic. And then there are some who do not live a dynamic such as this but yet, are still sadistic and masochistic. One does not dictate the other.

(in reply to MasterDaveM)

Post #: 59

RE: S&M kink vs Master/slave (or Dom/sub) thoughts? - 10/30/2007 5:30:01 AM

RRafe

Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterDaveM

So I am being all introspective today... What are your thoughts and feelings on S&M kink vs D/s M/s

Personally I always viewed D/s M/s as the relationship dynamic... the S&M being a kink much like any other. Sometimes I get the impression that people forget the differences

being a s&m bottom does not make you necessarily a sub/slave. same god for Tops vs Dominants

Personally, I am not a kinkster, but to each his own. I do find that many enter into the "lifestyle" for the kink and thrill more so than the totality of a relationship... it becomes more about the sex than the relationship as a whole.

I prefer 24/7 M/s relationships... thats just my "thing"... but find the whips and chains boring in terms of sessions (though i do love a woman in chains... so maybe i have some kink in me... or is that more of a fetish lol )

thoughts?

I find just ordering someone around 24/7 to be a bit like having an employee. Where's the fun in that?

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to MasterDaveM)

Post #: 60

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