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SCARED to do anal. :( - 10/31/2007 1:26:29 PM   
biracalsub4wmDom


Posts: 109
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline 		Ok, so, the title says it all.  I'M PETRIFIED.
And I know it will happen eventually.
For 33 years, it's been "exit only" back there.  How do I get past the fear that it's going to hurt like hell??  And DOES it hurt like hell??


< Message edited by biracalsub4wmDom -- 10/31/2007 1:38:01 PM >

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RE: SACRED to do anal. :( - 10/31/2007 1:31:56 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		You need to change your thread title hun as it says sacred anal not scared anal
 
You get past the fear by just doing it, well thats what i did.
Yes i find it hurts like hell on entrance but after its just slightly uncomfy for me.
I think though like anything else the pain level and tolerance, like and dislike of anal is individual.

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RE: SACRED to do anal. :( - 10/31/2007 1:38:50 PM   
mya75


Posts: 300
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		For me I dont have much pain there but I also have been blessed with partners that know the meaning of slow entry ...I enjoy it very much....but I will tell you that tons of lube makes it worse for me pain wise...I think because the more lube the easier it is to slip in kinda uncontrolled.....if you have never done it and plan to make sure you have an enema prior and that the Dom also knows you have never done this before...If you want to message me on CM about it you can....but it isnt horrid at all..

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RE: SACRED to do anal. :( - 10/31/2007 1:45:37 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		I don't think it has to hurt like hell.
Patience and lots of lube.


There are some excellent books out there: Anal Pleasure And Health by Jack Morin
and Tristan Taormino's The Ultimate Guide To Anal Sex For Women.

It doesn't have to hurt and some people really like anal play even if you discover that anal intercourse just isn't your thing.

best wishes,
aJ






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RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 10/31/2007 1:47:33 PM   
rubberpet


Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline 		When done correctly, it is a very pleasurable experience.  It will feel weird at first (like you have to go poop), but once you get used to it, it is very, very enjoyable.  I've done anal in the past with my previous owner and it was part of the most enjoyable play session I ever had with her.  Now I can't wait for Mistress to take me with Her cock.  It definitely makes my head spin!

But the golden rule when it comes to anal:  lube is your friend!  Lube, lube, lube, lube, lube!  Slow and stead wins the race.  Start with a finger and lots of lube just to get used to having something back there.  Work your way up at your own pace and don't be afraid to voice concerns or suggestions like different positions.

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RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 10/31/2007 2:12:03 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Well, see here--- regardless, not many people die from it.

Possible exeptions may include almost all of  Jeffrey Dahlmer's dates.

Richard Speck

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RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 10/31/2007 2:29:01 PM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		I have had experiences that hurt like a mofo and experiences that were very nearly spiritual. Keep your inner muscles relaxed - don't clench - and maybe, in the meantime, use a slimline vibe so you can get a general idea.

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RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 10/31/2007 2:32:57 PM   
biracalsub4wmDom


Posts: 109
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline 		hey...thaks for the advice.  sounds like i need to practice a bit to get used to it


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biracialsub

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RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 10/31/2007 2:43:16 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Have you tried using plugs or other toys on yourself?  It might help you get a feel for it and get ready for it.  Honestly, it doesn't have to hurt at all and can be very pleasurable, if it does hurt really badly, it's a good idea to stop because you can cause some serious damage that way.
good luck,
l

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 10/31/2007 2:46:04 PM >

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RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 10/31/2007 2:54:14 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		Just a small bit of advice lol.
If you do practice by using a butt plug be careful if you decide to sit on railings. Careful placement of ones butt is called for or your eyes will water like mine did yesterday waiting for my train  I got some weird looks i can tell you.

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Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 10/31/2007 3:11:37 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings biracalsub,

it can hurt quite a bit, especially if you're not prepared...we did a lot of fingering and butt plug playing before we ever had intercourse. still sometimes it can often be painful at first. the key is to relax into it...if you get used to relaxing with a butt plug, it will not be such a shock to progress to something larger. i firmly believe in lube and building up. i find that sometimes the pain can actually be a turn-on, but for the most part, even if it is painful at first, it becomes extremely pleasurable very quickly.

good luck.

respectfully,
annabelle.


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RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 10/31/2007 3:12:46 PM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		My Owner has given me a bit of an introduction to anal recently...  It's not near as painful as one would think...especially since we started off small.  It's scary the first time, but ultimately quite painless.  Now, the sensation is very strange and I'm still not used to it.  I always feel like I have to urinate when I really don't...  That's just odd.  I assume that's a passing thing.

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RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 10/31/2007 3:13:49 PM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Shawn1066

My Owner has given me a bit of an introduction to anal recently...  It's not near as painful as one would think...especially since we started off small.  It's scary the first time, but ultimately quite painless.  Now, the sensation is very strange and I'm still not used to it.  I always feel like I have to urinate when I really don't...  That's just odd.  I assume that's a passing thing.

I'm sure the sensations will be different when she ups the ante, so to speak...

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RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 10/31/2007 3:28:35 PM   
daddyscherry


Posts: 85
Joined: 7/10/2007
From: Daddy's Tower, CA
Status: offline 		Totally practice practic practice. i have a couple of toys that i use, one is about 3/4 the size of my Master/Daddy's cock so that one is a good one to train with.

One thing i have found, for me anyway, is that even on the days when it hurts really bad at first, once i finally relax it is the most amazing sex ever. So practicing on relaxing yourself back there is a great thing (not necessarily as simple as it sounds)

i was very petrified at first but now i absoultely love it and we generally use only spit for lube and that was one of the biggest fears i used to have (the lube situation)

Best of luck, and if he is patient on entry, alot of the time what initially feels like a pain that won't go away will become intense pleasure.


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RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 10/31/2007 4:35:40 PM   
xoxi


Posts: 1066
Status: offline 		omg I know exactly how you feel.

Even though in my mind I want him to do that because I want the mental feeling of being used like that...I'm still absolutely terrified that it's going to hurrrrrrrrrt.  And it doesn't help that he's 6'4...and every thing is proportionate.



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RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 10/31/2007 4:39:51 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Just relax and go slow the first few times..then it can be amazing, believe me.

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RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 10/31/2007 5:05:06 PM   
Mercurialdame


Posts: 66
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		My partner was of the same opinion as yourself.
Did you know, that you can get someone soooo ready, that they gape open invitingly? That they'll back up onto whatever you have as a insertable? And no pain is felt?
He now thinks its great.
It will depend on how patient your lover is, how relaxed you can be, and how much lube your prepared to use. A well lubedfinger running over and around first, then eventually, in the ass, whilst he is licking you, should prove successful.
But id definately insist on a 'you first then Sir' moment lol

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RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 10/31/2007 8:25:00 PM   
servantheart


Posts: 960
Joined: 10/26/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		Three very important rules regarding anal:
 
1. Slow, gentle entry
2. Relax and push out
3. There's no such thing as too much lube
 
Good luck!
 


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RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 10/31/2007 8:54:55 PM   
MidnightMaiden


Posts: 142
Joined: 10/22/2007
Status: offline 		The only time I have had anal and it hurt was my first time, but I believe that was because I was drunk and my partner went dry.  I was too drunk to feel it that night, but the next day was terrible.

A high state of arousal certainly helps.  The anus is full of lots of nerve endings that feel wonderful when stimulated.  The worst thing you can do is tense up and clench.  The sphincter is a very strong and tight muscle, and if you clench your partner will have to push harder to gain entry.  You can always ask if you can try for the first time in a position that you have control, such as you being on top.  This may help to allay your fears of too much too fast... and it also allows your partner to see your reaction as he enters you for the first time (try and sell it on that point!).

You could also try preparing the area with a mild local anaesthetic such as bonjella (baby teething gel).  If its safe to put in a baby's mouth I doubt its going to have any detrimental affect to your arse, and it may help you to take the edge off a little.... both physically and psychologically... if you believe its going to hurt less quite likely it will :)

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RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 10/31/2007 9:08:20 PM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline 		My Dom is now just starting to do anal play with me, but it's only with the toys for now. i'm sure eventually he will "move up"

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