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RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 10/31/2007 9:45:18 PM

MMMMudd

Posts: 83
Joined: 7/16/2006
Status: offline

I guess it's a literal translation of submission, you have to let go, the more completely you give in to it, the less it hurts.

A less philosophical element, is enema. It's (to me) more than a little gross, essentially bungholes are made to hold stuff in more than out, so it's one heck of a lot easier to relax when there's nothing in there. In my own case, (and I realise this is probably far from the norm) I use an old fashioned enema bag and don't consider myself done until I can expel while the tip is still held in place. As I've mentioned I find it friggin gross. I've heard one can eroticize it, but for me it's after many years, become just a necessary part of the experience.

The truly spiritual thing for me, is after I've been fucked pretty brutally, either fisted or with big toys. in the midst of after care I can feel the air move. Ones bottom stays open for about ten minutes or so afterwards and of course it's VERY sensitive. It feels like the cavity goes all the way to my chest. As my lover holds me I feel like a casting in bronze, or iron.

(in reply to MidnightMaiden)

Post #: 21

RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 10/31/2007 10:47:02 PM

girlygurl

Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: biracalsub4wmDom

Ok, so, the title says it all. I'M PETRIFIED.
And I know it will happen eventually.
For 33 years, it's been "exit only" back there. How do I get past the fear that it's going to hurt like hell?? And DOES it hurt like hell??

*smiles* If the right person is taking your virgin ass it won't hurt. It will feel uncomfortable, and you may not find enjoyment from your first experience with anal. BUT.... I was the same as you 11 months ago. My ass was "exit only" until my Sir took my virgin ass. woooo hoooo ummm yea, he calls me His lil anal slut now!

Sir was so very gentle my first time... lube lots and lots of lube!!! and no rushing it either! Oh, and it is really helpful if you can try and relax your body. Find a position where you're able to relax your body.

girly

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

Post #: 22

RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 10/31/2007 11:45:30 PM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline

we're in the discussion phase. a few toy experiences have been ok, but i get skin tears. i get skin tears from ordinary gentle missionary position vaginal intercourse. even WITH lube.

so....if it gets that far, its going to be a very slow process.

kitten

(in reply to girlygurl)

Post #: 23

RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 11/1/2007 2:38:21 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

No one HAS to have anal sex. It's a popular misconception that every submissive has to love oral, love anal, be bisexual, be a pain-slut, etc. First of all, don't think you HAVE to be penetrated anally 'eventually'.

Once you find the Master of your dreams, you may want to serve in this way. Or you might not. There are plenty of Dominants who are not specifically looking for anal sex. Just be sure to communicate your fear to Whomever you serve. Now, if the idea, while frightening to you, is also exciting then experiment with yourself first with fingers, butt plugs etc. The experience like many others will depend a lot upon both your partner and your state of mind.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

Post #: 24

RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 11/1/2007 2:46:26 AM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

eyesopen, I completely agree with you. I have no interest in anal play, either giving or receiving.

It isn't an essential for all of us.

However, if it is in your case OP, lube, lube and more lube. Slow, slow, slow. And don't forget to breathe, breathe, breathe!!

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 25

RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 11/1/2007 2:51:18 AM

seeksfemslave

Posts: 4011
Joined: 6/16/2006
Status: offline

I am surprised to see that some say they have managed to continue being penetrated even after the pain.
That really is brave.
I dont mean to imply that it will always be painful, 'cos it wont.

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 26

RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 11/1/2007 5:42:18 AM

Twicehappy2x

Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline

Everybody has given you great advice so far.

Yes, it will hurt a little on first entry, but then, OMG, i love it. Hopefully you will too.

Relax, try not to tense up and enjoy yourself.

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

Post #: 27

RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 11/1/2007 6:56:19 AM

malloves69

Posts: 913
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline

love anal from my mistress ..first we start out with strapon play ...then once im relaxed and opened up for her out goes the strapon and in goes her fist

amazing feeling it is to be fisted and yes im addicted to it

so far i can take up to her elbow

go slow ..lots of lube ...communicate ..start small and work your way up in size

my mistress has trained my ass well ..cant believe how much i love being fisted by her

mal

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)

Post #: 28

RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 11/1/2007 10:24:12 AM

MRandme

Posts: 661
Joined: 9/24/2007
Status: offline

Experiment with it by yourself. While masturbating play a little and (using lube of course) see if you can slip your finger in. Do this after you have already come, so you are relaxed. This should not hurt -- you aren't going to cause yourself pain, right?
Work your way up over several sessions to more fingers.

Get a slim vibrator and turn it on and move it slowly around the anus. The vibrations help relax the muscle. Again, you are in control so you know you will not push too hard or too fast. Push the vibrator in as far as you re comfortable with. Play with the speed a little to see what works best for you. Before too long (maybe even in the same session?) you will have it all the way in. As i said, the vibrations will help relax the sphincter muscles and insertion should be very easy.

Once you are able to do it by yourself, and know that it can be pleasurable, it will be easier to relax when it is someone else controlling it. Take your time, no rush.

There is a cream out there called Anal Eaze that does numb the area around the sphincter if you are terribly worried about it.

Hope this helps!

g

_____________________________

And thus i conclude with a wish you go well,
Sweet be your dreams, may your happiness swell,
I'll leave you here, for my journey begins
i've gone to be with Him again...

(in reply to malloves69)

Post #: 29

RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 11/1/2007 10:26:14 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

I had a partner and we tried anal once. After that it was the only way she wanted to do it.

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 30

RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 11/1/2007 11:56:13 AM

biracalsub4wmDom

Posts: 109
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline

THANK YOU SO MUCH....for all of the great advise! I am feeling much better about all of this. I am definaltey going to start practicing, and i'm going to look into that Anal Ease stuff too. I've heard of that before. Anything that will help, even if it's just putting my MIND more at ease.
Like a pp said, I know it's not manditory in order to be submissive, but I want to be able to give as much of myself as I can, ya know?

_____________________________

blessings...

biracialsub

***Please respect that I am OWNED & not seeking a Master. Thank You***

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 31

RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 11/1/2007 12:09:54 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

this website has some excellent information: http://www.puckerup.com/

and Blowfish has the Jack Morin book: http://www.blowfish.com/catalog/books/resources.html#b-dtp-1197

this is just my opinion but if you use a product like anal ease (sp?) not only will it dampen your pain response (and if it hurts your body is trying to tell you something) but it will temper the good feelings as well.

best wishes
aJ

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

Post #: 32

RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 11/1/2007 12:35:58 PM

fergus

Posts: 1110
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

Patience, practice, relaxation.

And too much lube is almost enough.

Use some toys first, and be gentle. Angle is everything. You want to be penetrated with the angle more towards your belly than your back.

Let us know if everything comes out alright in the end ;)

fergus

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 33

RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 11/1/2007 12:36:58 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

It natural to be scared i was but now i love it. You could also try to vary the position how we do it so it does not hurt too much is we do it spoon fashion. Anal eaze it very good it works wonders. Like others say try to relax and if you can push back it helps Just make sure he goes slow.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 34

RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 11/1/2007 1:36:21 PM

downkitty

Posts: 224
Joined: 10/1/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

No one HAS to have anal sex. It's a popular misconception that every submissive has to love oral, love anal, be bisexual, be a pain-slut, etc. First of all, don't think you HAVE to be penetrated anally 'eventually'.

True. My Master has no interest in anal sex at all. ~shrug~

Respectfully,

Amy

_____________________________

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls a butterfly." R. Bach in "Illusions"

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 35

RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 11/1/2007 1:54:52 PM

goodgirl08

Posts: 145
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline

I am little scared about it too, I know my Master is turned on by the idea of stretching out my (virgin!) asshole...I have had fingers in there before and it's felt weird but pretty good....but his cock is so thick! However, the power dynamic of him taking my asshole for the first time is hot enough for me that I am not too worried about the pain, and I know he will enjoy it so that's what I'm concentrating on ;)

(in reply to downkitty)

Post #: 36

RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 11/1/2007 5:02:03 PM

livinincincy

Posts: 25
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

No one HAS to have anal sex. It's a popular misconception that every submissive has to love oral, love anal, be bisexual, be a pain-slut, etc.

Great... Now I find out... Shouldn't strap-ons come with warning labels and an informational brochure ?

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 37

RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 11/3/2007 8:06:49 AM

vampchick88

Posts: 346
Joined: 4/10/2007
Status: offline

As long as your "worked up" first. Lube, small things such as a finger or two, also take into account the size. If it looks like it will rip you in two then lots of lube and lots of prep. Working yourself up, and becoming calm, relaxing, don't clench at the wrong moment because it won't work out so well. I've had experience and it can be one of the best things since sliced bread. Have fun with it, relax and make sure they go easy for you the first time.

_____________________________

Proud owner of rubberpet, the best investment of my time, trust, and heart that any Domme could ever dream of.

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 38

RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 11/3/2007 1:33:29 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MidnightMaiden

The sphincter is a very strong and tight muscle, and if you clench your partner will have to push harder to gain entry.

One piece of advice... your partner should NOT push to gain entry. YOU should be pushing back against them, they need to be holding absolutely still. You will feel yourself opening, and you can control how much you take in. If they are trying to push in, it's just not going to be good for you (until you're really good at it). I would suggest spooning as the first position, you can reach back and grab him by the base of his penis to hold him still and slowly push against him while pushing out with your muscles. Go very slowly and stop and hold still if it hurts. And you don't have to get him all the way in during one session. For many people it may take several sessions to work up to that.

Later, when you're good at it, if you want to get to it quickly, you can make sure you're well lubed up and then put a vibrator on your clit and you can get him in there fast. For many people it completely takes the pain sensation away, particularly if you're using a powerful vibe. Notice I said "when you're good at it". I would not suggest this for a beginner because you need to learn that part of your body first and what you can tolerate and what you cannot.

Sharon

(in reply to MidnightMaiden)

Post #: 39

RE: SCARED to do anal. :( - 11/3/2007 9:06:41 PM

Kalari

Posts: 15
Joined: 8/21/2007
Status: offline

I can definitely understand where you are coming from. At a rather young age, my Mistress decided to introduce me to this in a way that I now think was very wise. Without telling me what was going on, she told me to get on all fours and with one hand pinned my head to the bed, with my bum in the air, and she proceeded to finger me there. I couldn't move, so I couldn't stop it, and she had full control. And of course, she was encouraging me and being very kind the entire time. After that I moved to anal beads, which are made for people of varying experience. The training beads are very nice, as they start out very small and gradually get larger. After my three-year relationship with her ended, my next Dom was a male and I was able to easily have anal intercourse with him using only the lubrication from my vagina.

In short, I would say that the keys are a very patient and understanding Dom(me), a mutual trust, and taking things slowly. I wouldn't recommend going straight from anal virginity to anal intercourse. And to answer your other question, no, nothing anal has ever hurt me in the least. But that is because I have been with very skilled and loving partners.

I hope this helps!

(in reply to biracalsub4wmDom)

Post #: 40

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