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RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/10/2007 3:57:25 PM   
kinkypuppy2


Posts: 345
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline 		Agreed thats a "before/discussion/compromise " question.


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See nic "Kinkypupper" also as "slvseeker" As I cannot reply to any posts or log into collarchat under that name I had to create this profile.

(in reply to Mellissande)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/10/2007 4:32:36 PM   
SirJohnMandevill


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mellissande

If Collared, This sub has Animals. And would like to know what Other Doms think about whether she should give up the Animals she loves for the Master She loves to serve?


As others have pointed out, this is a discussion that you need to have with your prospective Owner.

That said, I believe a submissive should never have to give up the essence of who she/he is. Take away what she/he is as a person, and ultimately the D/s relationship is going to go down in flames.

My .02 zlotys. Your milage may vary.

Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

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Iam an eroticist
I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
I found my strip naked soul soup
With the deviant ingredient
---The B-52s

(in reply to Mellissande)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/10/2007 4:35:58 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		Only if she loves murder and mayhem.

JK, I think these things need to be clarified in the beginning.

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Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


(in reply to SirJohnMandevill)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/10/2007 4:40:32 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I would never ask someone to give up a pet they are like part of the family.
The important thing is to tell everyone up front that you have the animals, and they are part of the package.
For me, I am allergic to cats. I will not take a sub or slave that has cats, nor that wants them. I just cant.
Finding an animal loving Dominant shouldnt be difficult. Your good fit would be someone who loves your animals, and even a blended pet family, someone who has their own.

DV


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I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Daddysredhead)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/10/2007 10:12:39 PM   
Exquemelin


Posts: 113
Joined: 2/2/2007
From: CT
Status: offline 		As I understand it the original poster was asking if a dom would make her give up her pets and if she should if he wanted to.
Well I can't speak for all Doms but I certainly wouldn't but I could certainly see some who might and possible for entirely banal reasons(the one that jumps to mind is allergies).  Should you? Well my guess is that would depend on the relationship. Perhaps you kind of like the dom, but you're not really sure. Well in that case I'd say probably not. On the other hand maybe you think you've found the perfect man and you'll be together for 50 years. Then you might want to consider it. Anyway I hope you don't have to face situtation. Goodluck,Ex

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/10/2007 11:05:13 PM   
mstrj69


Posts: 295
Joined: 5/27/2004
Status: offline 		I have one cat whom I have spoiled.  It has three feeding bowls, three water dishes and 2 litter boxes.  I have told anyone who is a guest here that should there be a fire, get my cat out as it might not know to get out on it's own.  Everything else is insured.  As would I ask you to give up your pets, if mine did not get along with yours I would not collar you or ask you to be my sub.  Easy solution as you could be replaced the same as you could replace me if I tried to tell you to get rid of your pets.  Naturally that implies you are moving in with me.  If I am living by myself and you are just coming to visit, I could care less if the pets got along but we might never live together.  That is just how I would approach the situation, as for all doms, I can not speak for the rest but I think the prior answers are good.

(in reply to Exquemelin)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/10/2007 11:09:24 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		If I had an animal that was extremely important to me I would make that clear before getting involved. But knowing me, if there was a good enough reason for me to find another home for an animal I was responsible for, I would do so... and if he thought it was a good enough reason I would do so...

I love animals a lot, but I love my Daddy more. If I had to make a choice, I know what the choice would be

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Mellissande)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/11/2007 1:15:59 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		i think about this the same way i would think about giving up my kid; no fucking way!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mellissande

If Collared, This sub has Animals. And would like to know what Other Doms think about whether she should give up the Animals she loves for the Master She loves to serve?


(in reply to Mellissande)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/11/2007 3:21:56 PM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mellissande

If Collared, This sub has Animals. And would like to know what Other Doms think about whether she should give up the Animals she loves for the Master She loves to serve?


It should have been part of the arrangement - upfront.

Having said that, what reason is he offering you? Does he believe they're taking up too much of your time? Do you have 6 dogs or something? Are they eating you out of house and home? Do you have a snake that can't behave itself and keeps strangling the next door neighbour's rabbits?

If he's giving you a plain "it's them or me" without much in the way of a reasoned explanation, then I don't think you're getting a fair crack of the whip.

If you lay out his reasoning, then you're more likely to receive a considered response.

Edited to add: for all I know, you could be looking for a job that demands 60 hours a week, and you could be studying for say 10-15 hours a week, you may have a dog that demands to be walked 4 to 5 times a day for 45 minutes at a time: in that scenario, you're going to run yourself into the ground, so something has to give. As said, some more details on the reason would be useful here.

< Message edited by NorthernGent -- 12/11/2007 3:29:59 PM >

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Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to Mellissande)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/11/2007 4:09:01 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

i think about this the same way i would think about giving up my kid; no fucking way!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mellissande

If Collared, This sub has Animals. And would like to know what Other Doms think about whether she should give up the Animals she loves for the Master She loves to serve?




First off, there is no comparison between a child and some sort of critter.  Secondly, if you had a child and you discovered that your child was severely allergic to critters I would think that should be enough for most reasonable folks to quickly discard whatever hairy critters that they owned....Pretty straight forward...Huh?

I'm allergic to critters...I don't play.  You got a cat.  It ain't happening.  Pretty simple shit.  Your cats and pooches and other fur laden creatures might be the end all beat all shit to you....They just might be the cutest lil' fuckers in the world.  I can't and won't go there.  You find someone that meets your qualifications....No big deal. End of story.

Was this really necessary?

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(in reply to daddysliloneds)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/11/2007 4:52:09 PM   
Grlwithboy


Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		If my slave has a dog he's that dog's steward - he is to his dog what I am to him, even more so. I can't condone him treating an animal as disposable like that - if it means we can't live together but have to live nearby, I personally have no problem with that compromise, but I'm very slowwwww to desire cohabitation with anyone.I want a slave who's the kind of person who takes care of animals, children, and responsibilities and who holds onto the things he loves, not ditches them.

Fortunately my husband is a cat daddy extraordinaire.


(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/11/2007 5:46:51 PM   
domahpet


Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline 		i got a cat without asking if it was cool. turns out it wasnt cool at all, He is allergic, He said i can keep the cat but im looking for a new home for him. anyone looking for a cat?

(in reply to Grlwithboy)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/11/2007 6:01:42 PM   
MasterofScyn


Posts: 141
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline 		I would and could never in this life time give up my pets. I have 2 spazzed out fish *that claim they need a 300 gallon tank, but ummm they can suffer in what they have.. lol.*  Recently got an Iguana this last june/ july.. and have a snake that my ex gave me for christmas about 7yrs ago.
 
If I had furry critters, and if my partner was allergic to them, I would shave them before I would ever give them up. Or find some way to tame the hair and such. I did have a cat, but he was stray, born and raised as a stray, so naturally once I took him out of his environment, he took off to never be found again. I want to get a Dog when we get into our own house. But no, I wouldn't get rid of my animals for anyone. Only way I would get rid of them is if I couldn't afford to keep em anymore, for the well being of them. I have made that clear that I am an animal lover, every person I've been with will know that right off from the start. I would be devistated to give up my babies. I had to give up an iguana long time ago for many reasons, and that cut me deeply. If who'ever didn't understand my love for animals, then they are not the person for me. Even my ex had to get used to the idea of me having a snake, even though he is the one that got him for me. He wasn't exposed that much to reptiles. Because of that my snake is named Boots.. He said that if the snake was to ever bite him, that's what he'll turn into.. a pair of boots!!
 
Master now is constantly teasing me about eating my fish. Found out that what I have are bred for eating, since Master is a seafood kind of person, he's always mentioning that we can eat my fish!!! 
But in the end of it all, if anyone was to ask me to get rid of any of them... I would say g'bye to that person. I'd rather live alone with my animals than to live with someone that will deny me of having my pets. I'm the type that has to have a pet of some kind. It would kill me to be denied that comfort.
Scyn ~

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May the road rise to meet you
May the wind always be at your back
May the sun always shine against your face
May the rain fall softly upon your fields
Until we meet again
May the spirits hold you in the palm of their hands

(in reply to Grlwithboy)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/11/2007 6:14:00 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

As said, some more details on the reason would be useful here.


For example I have a cat that was a stray. I am planning on giving her to my sister who has many many pets when I move.. graduate school housing does not allow pets, and if I move in with Daddy his place does not allow pets. It can be something as simple as  not having an adequate place for the animals.. and in the case of wanting a future with my mate or having pets.. I choose the mate.

It is something that people should talk about way in advance of being submissive to someone.. right up there with "do you want kid?"


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/11/2007 7:15:27 PM   
MasterofScyn


Posts: 141
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline 		The place we are in now don't allow dogs. Even if it did, don't think I would want to keep a dog here, apartments are really no place for a dog. Less it has a yard of some sort. Even with that, alot of apartments are not allowing pets anymore.... They think a medium size dog is an ankle biter, snake food type dog.

_____________________________

May the road rise to meet you
May the wind always be at your back
May the sun always shine against your face
May the rain fall softly upon your fields
Until we meet again
May the spirits hold you in the palm of their hands

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/11/2007 7:39:56 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Before I set out to adopt an animal I would want to own my home... A stray like the cat that I rescued is a different story, I did not set out to get her... she wandered into my life half dead. If one goes out of their way to get a pet then they should try to live up to that responsibility... which is why I have never set out to get a pet.

These days it seems as though people are more attached to their pets than they are other people, for me, that just does not work... the people in my life will always come before a pet.


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to MasterofScyn)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/11/2007 8:06:58 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		I'm pretty sure I'll have to give up my three cats when we move in together.  Thankfully, my grandmother wants to take care of them and really needs the company as well.  I wouldn't have made the decision so easily if I didn't know they'd always have a good home.

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"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to kinkypuppy2)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/11/2007 8:17:40 PM   
JasonF


Posts: 61
Joined: 5/30/2005
Status: offline 		My thoughts on pets + new relationships have been a matter of priorites. For me and junecleaver, I see a few things.

1) I don't like animals
2) I'm allergic to cats
3) Learning to live together (we're engaged) will be hard enough without having to overcome 1 & 2 at the same time.

You should rate your priorities. I certainly wouldn't want a long-term relationship with someone who valued animals over the relationship. What do you want more -- a solid relationship, or cats?


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Jay
TNG-NC Council Member
engaged to my girl, junecleaver

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/11/2007 8:35:53 PM   
MissChaos


Posts: 5
Joined: 11/30/2007
Status: offline 		There is something seriously wrong with a human that doesn't like animals.

(in reply to JasonF)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/11/2007 8:45:54 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissChaos

There is something seriously wrong with a human that doesn't like animals.



I have a son with cat allergies.. he doesn't like to be around them either... if they made your eyes swell shut and made you have asthma attacks you might not like them either

I find something seriously wrong with people that coddle their pets and spend more on them than they do their own children and grandchildren (my former mother in law comes to mind). I know my sister has outright said that she has no compassion for people, but animals are everything to her.. she does not like people... whatever.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to MissChaos)
Profile   Post #: 60
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