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RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/11/2007 9:10:04 PM   
MasterofScyn


Posts: 141
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline 		I'm not saying that I don't value my relationship over animals. I can live with out having the fury ones..don't want to.. but I can...
 
 But to ask me to never have a pet at all or ask me to get rid of what I have come to love over so many years... Would have to take some serious consideration in every angle possible as to why they are asking such a thing of me.
 
For 1, I don't know anyone that is allergic to fish or reptiles,
 
2nd they are easy as hell to take care of... Kind of.. sorta.. maybe to a point... the cleaning proccess can be a pain sometimes..
 
and 3 .. well.. I love the scaly little critters.
 
I wouldn't know what to do if I was denied 100% of having any animals. I would have to seriously consider all aspects of the relationship and why he would deny such a thing. If he was allergic to the fur, I can understand that. Luckily I don't have to make such a choice and I hope that I never will have to... I don't want children... I love kids, but don't want them... Animals for the most part fill that void of raising a kid. Some day I may even do the whole foster animal thing... not anytime soon though. =/  
 
Scyn ~

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(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/11/2007 9:48:37 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

I'm not saying that I don't value my relationship over animals. I can live with out having the fury ones..don't want to.. but I can... 


I did not think anyone on this thread was saying that... 

I do strongly believe that if pets are that important to you, or UMs are that important to you, you should find someone else that places the same value on them as you do. 

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(in reply to MasterofScyn)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/11/2007 10:02:06 PM   
MasterofScyn


Posts: 141
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline 		I know it wasn't directed at me or anything. It's just the way I made it sound after I reread it.
 
If the relationship was new and the only reason is *I don't like animals* I would leave the dude cause I know right then he isn't for me. I've lived so long w/out a dog, if he was allergic to dogs, or even cats.. well, I don't have either now so that isn't a huge issue.
 
Anyway.. it was mostly just realizing how I made it sound. I value family just as much as my pets... But if someone new came into my life and told me I had to get rid of them... I would get rid of him first. That's all I was aiming for in that sense.
 
Scyn ~

_____________________________

May the road rise to meet you
May the wind always be at your back
May the sun always shine against your face
May the rain fall softly upon your fields
Until we meet again
May the spirits hold you in the palm of their hands

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/12/2007 1:09:30 PM   
MTsLightning


Posts: 9
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

So the choice is "Do I let myself become so desparate to be in a relationship that I give up my standards and needs to have a fulfilling life with someone who is willing to allow me to sacrifice what I need to be fulfilled in myself, or do I hold firm to my own needs in myself and find a secure stable mature person who is very compatible with who I am?"


CLAP CLAP LOUD APPLAUSE HERE

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/12/2007 4:56:29 PM   
abqoralman


Posts: 9
Joined: 10/26/2007
Status: offline 		As a Dom, I can say that I would not ask that of my sub. If our lifestyles are different and incompatible, we may play together on occasion but it remains play. That doesn't mean there's no emotion there but it does mean we have no commitment to remain. If either of us finds someone more compatible, we should pursue it. Neither should have to change who they truly are.

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/12/2007 6:06:28 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		dude,

first off, you should walk in my shoes before telling me what is and isn't a good comparison for me, because to me, and tough fucking shit if you don't like it, my animals are my kids, just as much as my first born is my kid!

secondly, i have a child that's allergic to critters, and guess what, he gets allergy shots and the critters stayed! pretty straight forward; huh?!


thirdly, i couldn't give a rat's ass about whether or not you or someone like you would choose not to play with and/or involve yourself with someone like me because guess what? my animals have been and always will be a part of my life until they keel over dead; that's a whole hell of a lot more than i can say for any man in my life; self imposed master and/or otherwise!!!

so, you tell me, was it really necessary for you to try to cram your opinion down my throat and try to convince me that your way is the way!

for fucks sake, nothing like getting your panties in a wad over my opinion!


quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

i think about this the same way i would think about giving up my kid; no fucking way!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mellissande

If Collared, This sub has Animals. And would like to know what Other Doms think about whether she should give up the Animals she loves for the Master She loves to serve?




First off, there is no comparison between a child and some sort of critter.  Secondly, if you had a child and you discovered that your child was severely allergic to critters I would think that should be enough for most reasonable folks to quickly discard whatever hairy critters that they owned....Pretty straight forward...Huh?

I'm allergic to critters...I don't play.  You got a cat.  It ain't happening.  Pretty simple shit.  Your cats and pooches and other fur laden creatures might be the end all beat all shit to you....They just might be the cutest lil' fuckers in the world.  I can't and won't go there.  You find someone that meets your qualifications....No big deal. End of story.

Was this really necessary?


(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/14/2007 2:51:46 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		My situation was a little different.  She had 2 large dogs and one fat ass cat.  They are/were all older.  So I told her upfront I am not a pet kinda guy once the animals die that is it no more.  Sure enuff they all died now she is talking like I miss my kitty I would like another one etc.
I must admit I am a cat hater <dogs are no much higher on the list>but she did have a cool cat.  It has been a couple years now but ever couple of months we have the I want a cat conversation.  It got the to point of "what part of no don't you understand" lol  No I would not consider any LTR with a pet owner unless it was fish.

BadOne 

(in reply to kinkypuppy2)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/14/2007 3:05:39 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

i think about this the same way i would think about giving up my kid; no fucking way!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mellissande

If Collared, This sub has Animals. And would like to know what Other Doms think about whether she should give up the Animals she loves for the Master She loves to serve?




First off, there is no comparison between a child and some sort of critter.  Secondly, if you had a child and you discovered that your child was severely allergic to critters I would think that should be enough for most reasonable folks to quickly discard whatever hairy critters that they owned....Pretty straight forward...Huh?

I'm allergic to critters...I don't play.  You got a cat.  It ain't happening.  Pretty simple shit.  Your cats and pooches and other fur laden creatures might be the end all beat all shit to you....They just might be the cutest lil' fuckers in the world.  I can't and won't go there.  You find someone that meets your qualifications....No big deal. End of story.

Was this really necessary?


Lol touche  Had a dog.  Had a kid.  Kid allergic to dog.  No comparison. bub bye dog.  after all dogs lick their balls and for some insane reason they lick the owners face.  I am as kinky as the next guy however that is digusting

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/14/2007 3:25:34 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

dude,

first off, you should walk in my shoes before telling me what is and isn't a good comparison for me, because to me, and tough fucking shit if you don't like it, my animals are my kids, just as much as my first born is my kid!

secondly, i have a child that's allergic to critters, and guess what, he gets allergy shots and the critters stayed! pretty straight forward; huh?!


quote:



yea having your kid suffer getting a shot once a week/monthfor at least 18 years plus not being able to breath correctly itchy eyes and the other symptoms as the meds wear off toward the end of the cycle.  Putting your kid through all that.  DAMN that is a great solution.  Why didn't I think of that!  

The cost say 50 bucks a pop say once a month for 18 years.  Over 10,000 over 18 years.  That would cover a year of collage.
pretty straight forward.  Seems to me to literally a "poor" choice. 

BadOne

(in reply to daddysliloneds)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/14/2007 2:10:28 PM   
Darkhaven80


Posts: 76
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline 		My condition in any relationship is that I won't be changed from what I love. I won't get rid of my best friends or family, my interests (and they aren't unhealthy so there's no reason a dominant should request it IMO) and the things that make me "me" and my life enjoyable. I wouldn't get rid of pets for anyone either and would make that clear from the start.

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/14/2007 2:30:23 PM   
Gardenista


Posts: 146
Joined: 12/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mellissande

You see I don't just have a cat, I have a cat, a male pit bull and a female bull terrier, and two ferrets... I absolutely love my Animals, But I do not want to end up alone because of them either...


Take heart. =) I'm sure there are some animal-loving doms out there for you.

(We have 1 dog, 3 cats and 2 rats on the way, btw, lol)

(in reply to Mellissande)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/14/2007 4:49:03 PM   
soultoshare


Posts: 519
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		I'm one of those who believe that no one should have to give up anything just for a relationship.  When asked to move in with a Dom, there were two stipulations, 1) i keep my job and 2) i keep my cats.  They are part of my life....love me, love my cat!  He actually said yes to both, with very little hesitation...actually, his issue was he didn't want me to work....but I have never let anyone else support me, it's tough to have to re-think things like that.

My oldest cat is much like Celeste's dog was......if he accepts you, then you're cool...if he wants nothing to do with you, then you're outta there!  Wish I knew how they do it...it'd save lots of heartache in the long run!



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Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/14/2007 5:47:24 PM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mellissande

If Collared, This sub has Animals. And would like to know what Other Doms think about whether she should give up the Animals she loves for the Master She loves to serve?


No.
If he wants to collar you he's collaring who you are right now... and that means pets and all.

girly

(in reply to Mellissande)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/14/2007 6:29:55 PM   
untamedshysub


Posts: 220
Joined: 2/26/2005
Status: offline 		what about your animals, I have two dogs and a cat they are part of my family, we had three other cats but I had to give them up when we moved, and it was awful depressed for over a year. My kids were angry with me but it was necessary. Would you come to resent him for making you choose between him and your animals? what type of issues will that cause in the future? you have to think about that before making any decisions. My oldest dog is 15 when my daughter leaves the first time she left for college she sat at the door for a month waiting for her to come home. Think about what is best for all of you before making any decisions.

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/14/2007 6:44:31 PM   
OldBastardly1


Posts: 651
Joined: 7/22/2006
From: Atlanta, GA
Status: offline 		Seriously, some of the questions on here seem so elementary, yet they seem to live on and on and on.

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(in reply to untamedshysub)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/15/2007 12:54:40 AM   
michaels4evr


Posts: 184
Joined: 8/8/2006
Status: offline 		My husband and former Master decided that we should give up the twin siamese cats when the twins were born, and has tried a couple of times to get rid of my dog. I agreed with the cats only because of the babies. I raised cain when it came to the dog. I feel that when He made the commitment to me, He was accepting all that I was and came with, two teen sons, cats, and dog, student loan debt, etc. etc. If He had told me prior to us getting together that any of the above was unacceptable it would have been a dealbreaker for me.

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/16/2007 12:56:47 AM   
rmanrr


Posts: 358
Joined: 7/25/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings
agreed OB...but My canuck two cents....anyway. No a sub does not have to give up her loves....if the sub's loves and Mine do not coincide then...there is that whole other compatibility question...some sort of balance to be reached perhaps or even (GASP) a compromise.  Generally IMO a sub should not have to give up anything or be commanded to do so. If the match is a good one from the get go then it will have become a moot point because it will (or should have) already been discussed by the two most important people, those involved in the dynamic (or is poly any others as well).


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(in reply to michaels4evr)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/16/2007 5:21:38 PM   
erebus


Posts: 169
Joined: 1/15/2004
Status: offline 		Any person who would ask a pet guardian to dump their animal friends for them is either (a) a prick/loser/evil person or (b) evil .

Agreeing to let an animal into one's life is a life-long decision.  It cannot be changed for any reason.  If the animal guardian is terminally ill or the like, then it is his/her responsibility to make sure the animal is taken care of.

If ANYONE asked to me get rid of my animal, I'd slam the door in their face so hard it would leave a permanent impression. 

We have an obligation to help the vulnerable and the dependent among us, and that includes people and animals. 

DUMP THIS TURKERY AS FAST AS YOU CAN!  He is worthless.

(in reply to Mellissande)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/17/2007 10:14:37 AM   
eevin


Posts: 64
Joined: 11/29/2007
Status: offline 		i, like hazenut, told the Mistress considering me up front that i have three cats whom i cannot part with, under any circumstances.  She said W/we would deal with finding a way for me to be able to keep them, since its not Her who doen't want them, but the rules of the place where She is.

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Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Should a Sub have to give up her loves? - 12/17/2007 10:20:03 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Any person who would ask a pet guardian to dump their animal friends for them is either (a) a prick/loser/evil person or (b) evil .


Wow there is such hate for people who can't coexist with animals. 
Animals have this stuff called dander.  It is not hair, shaving their hair won't rid you of it.  It is skin flakes, they are airborne.  There is a segment of the population who are allergic, there is a segment of the population who have this as an asthma trigger.  Trust, me, if it's a decision between me breathing and you and your animal.  You are gonna lose.  I like to breathe, I'm funny like that.  Surprisingly I am not a or b


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(in reply to eevin)
Profile   Post #: 80
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