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RE: Aftercare: discretionary or necessary? - 11/6/2007 10:31:01 PM   
windykae


Posts: 22
Joined: 8/14/2007
Status: offline 		aftercare in the past for me almost always varied, but being of service to my Domme was something that i always enjoyed.  although after an intense session/scene i am not very verbal, She would enjoy discussing what happened emotionally.  Although i enjoy after care, i believe that it is entirely discretionary and is something that must be discussed beforehand

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Aftercare: discretionary or necessary? - 11/6/2007 10:48:10 PM   
texancutie


Posts: 322
Joined: 7/23/2005
Status: offline 		I think it's discretionary...I am not going to demand it.  Though I do love it and appreciate it, and because he knows that and cares, he gives it.  I doubt I would stay with someone that didn't care enough about me to give it.  To me it all depends on the intensity of what we were doing, emotionally and physically.  It also depends on what one considers good aftercare.  I have been fine with hugs and him just checking in with me later.   Though he always calls me when I am on my way home anyway.  Other times I have needed more hands on than that.  So it all varies.  Also with the amount of time we spend together when 'scening', there are always a lot of loving things that are done in between or during what we are doing.  Though that does vary as well, depending on what it is going on, or if we are at a private party.

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Aftercare: discretionary or necessary? - 11/7/2007 12:51:00 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		For me aftercare is discretionary based on what the submissive needs.  I don't do casual play generally, so those I play with are for the most part individuals I know quite well and have an established relationship with.  Not everything I do with them is very intense or pushes them, though certainly some things do.  If its asked for, its given and likewise if I have any concerns I keep an eye on them and talk.  I also like to follow up anything new or intense (especially anything new or things I know they are struggling with) with at least 30 min of discussion, usually the following day.  Other than that there aren't really any firm rules.  On one occasion there might be a warm blanket, some water and time left alone though still supervised... on another occasion it might be snuggling in bed... I do what seems needed and appropriate, and sometimes nothing is needed.

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to laurell3)
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RE: Aftercare: discretionary or necessary? - 11/7/2007 3:39:52 AM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		Sure, I’m there for aftercare, usually by holding her close to me and pulling a blanket over both of us. There are times when she is still flying and coming out of things slowly and this is not possible, but I’m still part of the process and will watch her, maybe talk a bit to help her become oriented while she recovers. Eventually, we are going to be in each others’ arms as the session ends with warm words flowing. It is the necessary balance in my scheme of things.

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(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Aftercare: discretionary or necessary? - 5/7/2017 6:54:26 AM   
Perverseness


Posts: 1
Joined: 12/22/2008
Status: offline 		Mandatory. That which you sent flying you have a responsibility to see back to the ground. Aftercare does not have to be a production, but I do feel it's a nescessity

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Aftercare: discretionary or necessary? - 5/7/2017 7:12:50 AM   
NoirMetal


Posts: 508
Joined: 3/20/2017
Status: offline 		depends on the needs of the bottom. Some just want to be left alone to come down for a while-and a blanket to stay warm.

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RE: Aftercare: discretionary or necessary? - 5/7/2017 7:56:59 AM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline 		This is a 10 year old necro thread. The guidelines ask that instead of replying to ancient dead threads that people instead start new ones on the topic.

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(in reply to NoirMetal)
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RE: Aftercare: discretionary or necessary? - 5/7/2017 11:56:41 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Perverseness

Mandatory. That which you sent flying you have a responsibility to see back to the ground. Aftercare does not have to be a production, but I do feel it's a nescessity


As has already been pointed out, it's best to start a new thread than reply to one that is 10 years old. The people who wrote on that thread are long gone.

You can easily tell when someone wrote a reply. Just look above their name on the left side. Look where it says RE: the title of the thread. Then there is a date and time. This is when it was posted to the forum. As you can see you replied to post from 11/7/2007.

Glad you finally made it to the forums since you've been a member here for 9 years. Hope you post more often now. We all made mistakes when we were first posting.

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Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to Perverseness)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Aftercare: discretionary or necessary? - 5/7/2017 12:44:01 PM   
CaptR


Posts: 425
Joined: 4/25/2012
Status: offline 		Not only necessary but enjoyable from my perspective. It's yet another way to provide an intimate connection and reassure your play partner they're in good hands. Even if at an event with a casual subject that time is a very good investment.

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Aftercare: discretionary or necessary? - 5/7/2017 5:15:15 PM   
Shandirra


Posts: 196
Joined: 11/28/2007
From: NYC
Status: offline 		@Perverseness - You realize you've necro'd a 10 year old thread??

As @peppermint pointed out, there's indicators for when the thread was last posted on...
I can only imagine how much free time you have to go digging through ancient threads. Sheesh.

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(in reply to Perverseness)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Aftercare: discretionary or necessary? - 5/7/2017 7:39:23 PM   
tamaka


Posts: 5079
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Shandirra

@Perverseness - You realize you've necro'd a 10 year old thread??

As @peppermint pointed out, there's indicators for when the thread was last posted on...
I can only imagine how much free time you have to go digging through ancient threads. Sheesh.


If you are interested in a topic, such as aftercare, you can use the search and enter in search term, (ie aftercare) and select topics instead of body, and you will get all threads that have 'Aftercare' in the subject. It takes 10 seconds.

Btw...
Having lots of free time is a wonderful thing!

< Message edited by tamaka -- 5/7/2017 7:43:26 PM >

(in reply to Shandirra)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Aftercare: discretionary or necessary? - 5/7/2017 9:02:19 PM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline 		FR
Am I the only one who have no issues with continuing Necro threads?

But I know for a fact that not all bottoms requires AfterCare. Some really don't.

But the dominant needs to know their sub. And their emotional needs. And apply accordingly.

(in reply to tamaka)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Aftercare: discretionary or necessary? - 5/7/2017 9:09:49 PM   
tamaka


Posts: 5079
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

FR
Am I the only one who have no issues with continuing Necro threads?

But I know for a fact that not all bottoms requires AfterCare. Some really don't.

But the dominant needs to know their sub. And their emotional needs. And apply accordingly.


This system was designed so you can do it. I think it's interesting when someone finds something older and brings it back up to discuss.

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Aftercare: discretionary or necessary? - 5/7/2017 9:15:23 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline 		I don't have a problem with necro threads either.

I mean, it's not like this place is super busy at the moment, and we're at risk of active threads going off the main screen because somebody resurrected a couple of necros...

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I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to tamaka)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Aftercare: discretionary or necessary? - 5/8/2017 8:57:20 AM   
WhoreMods


Posts: 10691
Joined: 5/6/2016
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

I don't have a problem with necro threads either.

I mean, it's not like this place is super busy at the moment, and we're at risk of active threads going off the main screen because somebody resurrected a couple of necros...

Quite. When a Mod turns up and demands resurrecting threads must cease, then necro threads can be left and a new thread started. Until then, why not?

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On the level and looking for a square deal.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Aftercare: discretionary or necessary? - 5/8/2017 11:29:51 AM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods


quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

I don't have a problem with necro threads either.

I mean, it's not like this place is super busy at the moment, and we're at risk of active threads going off the main screen because somebody resurrected a couple of necros...

Quite. When a Mod turns up and demands resurrecting threads must cease, then necro threads can be left and a new thread started. Until then, why not?


Just a thought: the existing forum rules and guidelines are ignored now, for quite some time, apparently because there is no one moderating anymore. Many people would agree that this forum is now a piece of shit. Perhaps those 2 facts are connected in some way? Perhaps the rules and guidelines stemmed from forum experience as to what helps/kills a decent discussion forum?


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Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to WhoreMods)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Aftercare: discretionary or necessary? - 5/8/2017 12:09:30 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2


quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods


quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

I don't have a problem with necro threads either.

I mean, it's not like this place is super busy at the moment, and we're at risk of active threads going off the main screen because somebody resurrected a couple of necros...

Quite. When a Mod turns up and demands resurrecting threads must cease, then necro threads can be left and a new thread started. Until then, why not?


Just a thought: the existing forum rules and guidelines are ignored now, for quite some time, apparently because there is no one moderating anymore. Many people would agree that this forum is now a piece of shit. Perhaps those 2 facts are connected in some way? Perhaps the rules and guidelines stemmed from forum experience as to what helps/kills a decent discussion forum?



I disagree, I think bad moderating has turned the forum to shit long before the rules got ignored.
A long period of extremely bad moderating created a huge exodus on the forum, which never recovered, even after the -bad- moderating has all but vanished.


_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Aftercare: discretionary or necessary? - 5/8/2017 2:39:57 PM   
tamaka


Posts: 5079
Status: offline 		What kind of bad moderating?

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Aftercare: discretionary or necessary? - 5/8/2017 3:14:01 PM   
DocStrange


Posts: 1076
Joined: 6/10/2015
Status: offline 		Stoned drug addicted moderators
MOD 3 - While there were many, one in particular stands out
MOD gate
Just to name a few

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(in reply to tamaka)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Aftercare: discretionary or necessary? - 5/8/2017 3:18:12 PM   
tamaka


Posts: 5079
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DocStrange

Stoned drug addicted moderators
MOD 3 - While there were many, one in particular stands out
MOD gate
Just to name a few


Oh... i get the feeling that the small group of 'regulars' who are still here drove everyone else out.

(in reply to DocStrange)
Profile   Post #: 80
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