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RE: What have you experienced - 11/4/2007 2:24:02 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

Having gone through hell and back, I'd do it all over again just to get to where I am today.


Taking out any possibility that it would change the course of my life (meaning, I would still have my children that came later, etc.), I'm pretty sure I'd skip being on the receiving end of assault.

And Jagermeister.  Can't see as there is a reason in the world for that stuff to exist.  Only 2 day hangover I've ever had.

Sharon

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
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RE: What have you experienced - 11/4/2007 2:28:01 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

Having gone through hell and back, I'd do it all over again just to get to where I am today.


Taking out any possibility that it would change the course of my life (meaning, I would still have my children that came later, etc.), I'm pretty sure I'd skip being on the receiving end of assault.


I can understand that sentiment.  Being on the receiving end of my assaults have helped develop me into who I am today.  Had my life been without that, I would not have some of the sentiments, philosophies, and responses to others that I do now.  It took me a very long time to see that, however.

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RE: What have you experienced - 11/4/2007 2:39:02 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline 		Of course I have to agree with ownedgirlie that everything I've been through has made me who I am today and made it possible to be where I am today.  For that, I am grateful.  However, as I look back over the past ten years or so, there are a few things that it was very hard experiencing.  They would include having an abusive spouse and being a strung-out junkie.  I so regret all the behaviors that brought about including alienation from family and time spent apart from them.  Once I got clean and got close to them again, I only had less than a year with my Dad before he died.  All that lost time with him is something that still pains me alot............luci  

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RE: What have you experienced - 11/4/2007 2:47:20 PM   
MistressPurpleFL


Posts: 112
Joined: 10/2/2005
Status: offline 		The old saying of what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger is true but sucks nonetheless.  A part of me regrets the pain I have experienced in life but then by that pain I knew what joy really was.  We have choices in life and sometimes we can not control (Darn it why not I am a control freak) everyone in our life or the world and it's choices but we have to feel things and move on.  I try to stop doing the same things in order to not get the same painful results.  I love life, I love myself, and love being the dominant person I am and sadly I had not been able to say that ALL the time. 
 
I have created a wall of security around my heart to protect myself from the possibility of being too devasted by love again but not secure enough that I don't trust again or allow myself to love another or be LOVED. 
 
Good Question by the way.

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RE: What have you experienced - 11/4/2007 2:47:34 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Hi Luci,

What a blessing that you did get cleaned up before your Dad died, so that you could get close to him.  I know you long to have had more time than you did, but I'm watching my sister go through some stuff now, because she didn't figure things out in time, and now it's too late.

Not trying to belittle your grief at all, but truly glad you did get a chance to show him your love before he left.  Similarly to you, I was fairly estranged from my family until I left my abusive husband, exactly a year before my Dad died.  I felt like the prodigal son though, they just opened their arms and said "Welcome home."   I might have a different response in this thread had I not had that last year with him.

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RE: What have you experienced - 11/4/2007 2:48:11 PM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		There is two days, I don't ever want to repeat. The day I was told my son is autistic and deaf and I should just put him in an institution. (I didn't and after years of work, he had a major break through). The other, the day the Doctor told my (then) wife and I we might have to choose which twin to treat for heart condition (which would have killed the other one). We managed to make it long enough to deliver two girls at 2 lbs each. They were treated and are now perfect. (wow, I'm going to spoil my reputation)

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RE: What have you experienced - 11/4/2007 2:56:53 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
Not trying to belittle your grief at all, but truly glad you did get a chance to show him your love before he left.  Similarly to you, I was fairly estranged from my family until I left my abusive husband, exactly a year before my Dad died.  I felt like the prodigal son though, they just opened their arms and said "Welcome home."   I might have a different response in this thread had I not had that last year with him

Hey ownedgirlie,
I know exactly what you mean about feeling like the prodigal returning home.  That's exactly what I was.  My family was always so close (mom, dad, one sis, and one brother) and when I was at my worst, we lost contact for about a couple of years more or less.  My husband was a fugitive from the law and we were both strung out and I felt a duty to be with him and "protect" and help him at the price of losing contact with my beloved family.  They would have turned him in if they had known where he was so it was him or them.  I made the wrong choice. 

Eventually, I hit rock bottom and found myself needing to go home to them.  My dad and mom drove to KY to pick me up and never once castigated me or made me feel like the chump I was.  They welcomed me back and loved me more than ever.  Without them and their support, I could never have come through it as I did.  Being with my abusive husband definitely caused an estrangement.  Even after going home to them, I continued my relationship with him for about another three years while he was (once again) incarcerated.  They didn't make me choose.  They were just glad I was home and safe and clean. 

As I said, I had less than a year with my dad before he passed but it was a wonderful one.  We grew closer than ever before and he had come to terms with my husband and didn't hate him or hold a grudge.  When he passed, we were at peace with the world and each other and I'm truly grateful for that.  I hope he knows that my husband and I are over now and that I now have the most wonderful Man imaginable in my life.  Master reminds me alot of my dad, actually, as he's such a good and honorable man with a work ethic that's hard to find these days.  Anyway.....just saying I truly understand being the prodigal because I surely was................luci

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RE: What have you experienced - 11/4/2007 3:01:01 PM   
ownedgirlie


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Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

Anyway.....just saying I truly understand being the prodigal because I surely was................luci


Thank you for sharing, luci.  We wouldn't have known what it was to experience this had we not been led so far astray.  Good comes from bad when we let it.  :)

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RE: What have you experienced - 11/4/2007 3:22:12 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		I too share the feeling that i am glad for all the experiances good bad and  otherwise , they have all shaped me and molded me to who i am and have yet to be . Besides i have learned if you do not learn from  some things the  universe just keeps smacking you upside the head til you get the message . Needless to say i have become a much faster learned study in recent years  .

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: What have you experienced - 11/4/2007 3:22:40 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
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quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

that you wish you hadn't? and why


Nothing.

why?  because this slave couldn't possibly be arrogant enough to conceive that she is the Ultimate Knowledge and therefore knows better(now)by way of hindsight, what would shape her better than the path that destiny, by way of the Great Architect, has shaped her into what she is today.

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 11/4/2007 3:23:39 PM >

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RE: What have you experienced - 11/4/2007 6:02:29 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Everything that has happened to me has been for a reason. Even the things that broke my heart, hurt me, made me yearn for something else... everything that has ever happened to me was for my further growth in this life, as such I have no regrets anymore. I would not have said the same thing only a couple of months ago, but I truly know that All is Well no matter what happens to me or those I love. There is no reason to feel guilt, recriminations, or regret for anything.

I am at peace for the first time in my life as a result.. and I live in the Now... and I have much more joy too.


Can I ditto this a million times?

Having gone through hell and back, I'd do it all over again just to get to where I am today.

Ok but that oyster shot at Mikuni's really seemed to have served no purpose...I suppose I'll see its benefit some day...heh.


The oyster shot possibly stalled you from leaving a split second earlier thereby avoiding a head on accident... it served its purpose...smiles

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Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: What have you experienced - 11/4/2007 6:38:02 PM   
slavegirljoy


Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

that you wish you hadn't? and why

Being hit by a drunk driver, while riding my bicycle with my 4 year old on the back. The day before, i ran 6 miles, like i always did at least 3 times a week and, i was in the middle of my senior year at the U of MD and, i had plans all laid out for my future.  That all changed in an instant, without warning and, all because someone i didn't even know chose to be reckless.  It knocked me off my ass and i had no safety net to catch me and no plan B to fall back on.  i literally had to rebuild my life, after my broken body was mended and, i had to learn how to live as an amputee and without being able to do all the things i had always been able to do. 

That's the only thing i have personally experienced that i wish i hadn't.  It didn't add anything positive to my life, although i have done my best to make the best of it.  i have continued to do as much as i am physically able to do, including bicycling and hiking and i do what i can to help others, who are facing an amputation or are having difficulty dealing with being an amputee.  i refuse to sit around feeling sorry for myself or being angry or bitter. 

Life is what it is, some good, some not so good and, my life is what i choose to make of it, with what i've got.  i get knocked down and i get back up.  The day that i don't get back up, they can just pile some dirt on me, because that will be the day that i stop living.  But, until that time, i will take whatever life throws my way, keep making the most of every day and, keep enjoying the adventure of it all.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David


(in reply to swtnsparkling)
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RE: What have you experienced - 11/4/2007 9:14:31 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Picking up that first cigarette and smoking it....Tempting

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I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

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RE: What have you experienced - 11/4/2007 9:26:19 PM   
MsterStoney442


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/19/2007
From: All
Status: offline 		Having The best slave in this world walk away from me .

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: What have you experienced - 11/4/2007 10:22:44 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		swtnsparking

I was adding this song to myspace when I thought of this thread and perhaps this song will say what I was truly trying to say:
Little Wonders
 
let it go,
let it roll right off your shoulder
don’t you know
the hardest part is over
let it in,
let your clarity define you
in the end
we will only just remember how it feels

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
in these small hours,
these small hours still remain

let it slide,
let your troubles fall behind you
let it shine
until you feel it all around you
and i don’t mind
if it’s me you need to turn to
we’ll get by,
it’s the heart that really matters in the end


our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

all of my regret
will wash away some how
but i can not forget
the way i feel right now

in these small hours
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away but these small hours
with these small hours, still remain,
they still remain
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away
but these small hours
these little wonders still remain
 


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to swtnsparkling)
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RE: What have you experienced - 11/5/2007 1:45:23 AM   
MidnightMaiden


Posts: 142
Joined: 10/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MidMichCowboy

There is two days, I don't ever want to repeat. The day I was told my son is autistic and deaf and I should just put him in an institution. (I didn't and after years of work, he had a major break through). The other, the day the Doctor told my (then) wife and I we might have to choose which twin to treat for heart condition (which would have killed the other one). We managed to make it long enough to deliver two girls at 2 lbs each. They were treated and are now perfect. (wow, I'm going to spoil my reputation)


Oh god I cried when I read this, I remember the day my son was diagnosed with autism.  Its actually not what I would change, he is perfect the way he is and that little man has been my greatest teacher.

I used to believe that you should live life without regret... but then how do you learn anything?  "Well gee I wish I'd done that differently" is a sign that you have grown, changed and become the better for your experiences.... so that if the circumstances come round again you make a wiser, better choice, not think oh I had no regrets the way I did it first time, lets go that way again.  Many of our destructive behaviours repeat..... without hindsight and regret, how do we learn to do better for ourselves?

And I used to believe that every thing that had happened to me was necessary for my growth to become the human being I am today.  Every step I took in my life led me down this path, right to where I wanna be here at this present moment (I can sing a rainbow, sing a rainbow...).  Bollocks.  How do I know how different my life would have been if my father hadn't brutalized me?  Where might I be now if I fought, I mean really fought, to save my first marriage.  Or waited until I was a few years older to have my first child?  Or went to college?

I don't know what magical, tragical things would have happened had I taken but one step in a different direction, and I am not going to guess at them either....I do know what magical, wonderful things have happened to me in this life, and for those I am grateful.  That doesnt mean I have to be grateful for every arsehat who treated me like a piece of shit and wish that some things hadn't been different.

The one thing I wish I hadn't experienced... cesarean births.  Dehumanizing experiences, all 3 of them.

< Message edited by MidnightMaiden -- 11/5/2007 2:19:02 AM >

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RE: What have you experienced - 11/5/2007 2:00:10 AM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		Heaps and heaps and heaps of things. I wish I could reverse a lot of my life actions and choices. But I prefer to well on the good stuff, rather than the bad. Otherwise I'd go insane.

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RE: What have you experienced - 11/5/2007 2:02:35 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

Same thing happened to me camille, how did your surgery go?  Mine started laproscopic and the surgeon almost had to stop and do the regular surgery - thank god that didn't happen.  i had gall bladder pain for 2 years - i just thought i was having an unusually bad attack until i got a fever.  
 27 stitches, 19 staples, 6 hours surgery and nearly 1 1/2 years in bed lol. It really messed me up. I thought it was stress over my divorce and tried to ignore it all until it literally burst on the way to the hospital. I was very very lucky I recognised that I was in danger and lucky to have my ex zoom down and drive me. I regret that I refused to look at what was really happening because I would be stronger and healthier today, that incident was an enormous set back for me. Weird how some bodies take so long to recover from surgery, it was my first surgery and I thought it would be a breeze to recover from. Glad you were able to have the laproscopic!  One good thing came from it, I learned what it meant to be utterly helpless and there is no no no way I am going to put myself in that position again.

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RE: What have you experienced - 11/5/2007 2:09:44 AM   
canupleaseme


Posts: 775
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		Hmm losing my dad in an accident 3 days after my 13th birthday was pretty awful, having my daughter at 27 weeks was again awful,  marrying a violent abusive twat again awful.  All were bad and sometimes I wish I hadnt experienced them but each brought some good with them.  My mum later remarried and I know have two lovely sisters.  I have my specail um  and i learnt never to allow someone to hurt me like my ex husband did again.

I think our experiences mold us for good or bad, I wish I hadnt experienced some but I also know I wouldnt be who I am now without them.


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RE: What have you experienced - 11/5/2007 3:49:46 AM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

that you wish you hadn't? and why


The only things that comes firmly to mind (though I'm glad I had the experience) is toe sucking.

Holy cow was that a shocker...  We're making a movie, everything's fine and then it's time for the slave to suck my toes...  and I have to firmly control myself to keep from throwing up some.

Now I know I don't like having my toes sucked haha.  Won't make that mistake again.

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(in reply to swtnsparkling)
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