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growing old together - 8/4/2005 2:45:02 PM   
softandshy


Posts: 297
Joined: 5/10/2005
Status: offline 		Think i was listening to too much Beatles today, "When I Get Older" is running through my head. Actually, while i came to collarme in search of information and eventually a D/s relationship, i would really like to meet someone with whom i can grow grey. Do others here have that hope? How realistic is that in a D/s relationship? For those who have been in the lifestyle longer, how long have your relationships lasted? Would anyone who has been in a long term D/s relationship mind sharing their experience? i would be very interested to hear from submissives and Dominants both.

Thank you.

< Message edited by softandshy -- 8/4/2005 3:12:36 PM >

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RE: growing old together - 8/4/2005 4:42:39 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Ds is no different from vanilla in this. Some do, some don't, some will, some won't.

(in reply to softandshy)
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RE: growing old together - 8/4/2005 5:08:31 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		sorry shy not to make light of you question but i have to laugh my Late Master was quite a bit older then me and was already gray. On a more serious note i think most people look for someonme thry can grow old with.

littleone

(in reply to softandshy)
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RE: growing old together - 8/4/2005 5:19:02 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Do others here have that hope? How realistic is that in a D/s relationship? For those who have been in the lifestyle longer, how long have your relationships lasted? Would anyone who has been in a long term D/s relationship mind sharing their experience?


You need to communicate exactly what you are searching for to all you speak to. They must have the same wants as you.
My first relationship with my dom lasted 10 years. The current one 6 and a half so far.
We plan on marrying...so hopefully if all goes well indefinately.

(in reply to softandshy)
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RE: growing old together - 8/4/2005 6:36:58 PM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I wanna make you smile whenever you’re sad,
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad.
All I wanna do, is grow old with you.

I’ll get your medicine when your tummy aches,
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks.
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you.

I’ll miss you.
I’ll kiss you.
Give you my coat when you are cold.

I’ll need you.
I’ll feed you.
Even let ya hold the remote control.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink,
Put you to bed if you’ve had too much to drink.
I could be the man, who grows old with you.
(I wanna grow old with you)

(in reply to sub4hire)
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RE: growing old together - 8/4/2005 7:08:09 PM   
softandshy


Posts: 297
Joined: 5/10/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you for responding. For some reason i had gotten the impression that the majority of D/s relationships are transient. i did speak to the Mistress about this when we first began exploring. i am hopeful for the relationship, just not completely sure of what to expect, how the D/s aspect affects things, so i thought i'd ask how common lifelong relationships actually are. i do know that uncertainty is normal at the beginning of any relationship. :)

Faramir, i really enjoyed the song. Thank you. Who plays that?

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RE: growing old together - 8/4/2005 7:30:53 PM   
MstrHellsFury


Posts: 388
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		my first..to whom I'm married..(D's was a part before marriage)..celibrate our 21st wedding anniv the 27th of this month...see we can remember dates...my second..7 yrs now..but she's soon to depart for personal reasons...and with her release I hope only the best for her...so in answer to the question...yes a number of us do grow frey together...(big smile)...


Fury

(in reply to softandshy)
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RE: growing old together - 8/4/2005 7:32:54 PM   
MstrHellsFury


Posts: 388
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		as a footnote...my first and I were together for over 7 yrs before I took her hand in completion...

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RE: growing old together - 8/4/2005 9:44:29 PM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline 		It's Robby from the Wedding Singer (Adam Sandler). Very sweet little song actually (a little ore service oriented than I dig but hey).

(in reply to MstrHellsFury)
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RE: growing old together - 8/4/2005 9:47:54 PM   
lightmuse


Posts: 1
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline 		This quote made me quite emotional as it speal\ks volumes, tells wha I yearn for so,
Can it ever really be?

(in reply to Faramir)
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RE: growing old together - 8/4/2005 9:58:53 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		I feel we are looking for what you consider a long term relationship.....growing old together.

However, I hate the word old and the term growing old, so I would modify my search to say someone that I can grow wiser with, because I do grow a little bit smarter (ass) each day.

(Sung to when I'm 64 or 69? by the beatles.)

"When I get wiser, collar you good, will that make you stay?
Will you look at me as if my hair is just grey, or will you judge me for how I can play.
You make like bondage, being controlled in every aspect you know
but will you still serve me will you still please me...or say I got to go?

You'll be wiser too!! We can hang in wax and ties...til we realize.....WE ARE A MATCH, but lets not grow old...lets grow together!"


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Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

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RE: growing old together - 8/5/2005 1:25:18 AM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		We plan to grow old together, hoping for many more years, married 37 yrs now.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to softandshy)
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RE: growing old together - 8/5/2005 7:29:28 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

Do others here have that hope? How realistic is that in a D/s relationship?


we have been together for 3 1/2 fantastic years and hope very much that it will last at least another 30!!!!

(in reply to softandshy)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: growing old together - 8/5/2005 8:30:21 AM   
sultryvoice


Posts: 368
Joined: 3/31/2004
Status: offline 		I have only been in one D/s relationship and it was only 1 year..It wasn't meant to be much more as I look back. I am now wanting to find someone for a long lasting relationship. You know, whether D/s or vanilla, the basic things run through a committed relationship. I just hope I find what is for me in this world..

Respectfully,
sultry

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For it is they who let in the light.


www.themarkbycpi.com

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RE: growing old together - 8/5/2005 10:00:23 AM   
ChereeAmoor


Posts: 185
Joined: 8/1/2005
Status: offline 		We have been together for 19 years and our partner for 6 years. Since we aren't looking around for anything other than what we have, things feel very stable and there is a certain sweetness to long-term relationships that is sometimes lacking in the flashfire types. I think a lot of people want a companion throughout their lives, and there are some of us who are lucky enough to have found it - you will too, I am certain.

(in reply to sultryvoice)
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RE: growing old together - 8/5/2005 11:50:23 AM   
stormsfate


Posts: 849
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline 		I've been told I will grow old with him. I have been with him for over nine years so far :)


best regards,
fate

(in reply to softandshy)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: growing old together - 8/5/2005 4:09:50 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Actually, while i came to collarme in search of information and eventually a D/s relationship, i would really like to meet someone with whom i can grow grey. Do others here have that hope? How realistic is that in a D/s relationship?


I want to find someone that I can grow old with. This is why I am looking for someone that is well spoken, has a sense of humor and is intelligent. After the looks fade and the interest in sex wanes in both partners, I want someone that I can sit in my rocking chair and talk to and laugh with. I think it is realistic in any relationship. It requires work and communication.

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"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to softandshy)
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RE: growing old together - 8/6/2005 5:06:26 AM   
softandshy


Posts: 297
Joined: 5/10/2005
Status: offline 		i stand in awe of those of you who have been with a partner for so long. It's something i aspire to, but i know about the effort it must take even if i haven't experienced it yet.

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Happy "Swamp Thing"

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RE: growing old together - 8/6/2005 7:21:28 AM   
itzelwing


Posts: 37
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		Soft,

My Kat and I have been together for nine years now, and I look forward to being with her when we're both into our dotage. However, ours is not solely a D/S relationship...even though that is how it started.

It's been a challenge at times, for both of us, and we've ridden out a couple of pretty serious storms. It takes work, just like any long-term relationship. If the relationship is right, it's the most worthwhile effort you'll ever exert.

You absolutely have to communicate and be honest, and you can't be scared to say something that might hurt the other one a little bit sometimes in order to avoid hurting them a whole lot later. This is a recent lesson for she and I (should've been obvious, but there ya go), and I pass it on in hopes that someone else can make use of it.

Never take a good thing for granted.

OK, I'm starting to sound like Ann Landers or something. Enough.

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Master, Friend, and Lover of ItzKat

(in reply to softandshy)
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RE: growing old together - 8/6/2005 9:04:58 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

For some reason i had gotten the impression that the majority of D/s relationships are transient.


You're right, most are. If you start taking a poll you will find 6 months to be a good long term relationship within the scene. Someone said that to me year's ago. I was astonished after just ending a ten year relationship. Yet, I started asking everywhere I went. Sure enough people were right.

However, that has nothing to do with the lifestyle. It is about people period. Not being able to make a relationship work. Look at the divorce rate. You need to know what you are seeking. Go out and get it, settle for nothing but what you absolutely need.
Truth and communication are essential.
Even today after 6.5 years of being together when people ask us to go places more often than not we decline. Quality time is something we cherish and know we need to survive.
Will it last forever? I sure hope so but no real idea on that. We just do the best we can from day to day.

(in reply to softandshy)
Profile   Post #: 20
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