Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Younger Doms


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Younger Doms Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Younger Doms - 11/5/2007 12:45:15 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thecrownedprince

why don't younger Doms, like myself, get respect from older subs? They say that age brings experience but there are many older subs that have been in the lifestyle for less years than I. there are also older Doms that have been in the life for less. so my question is, why do subs feel that age has ANYTHING to do with dominance and a Dom's capabilities...


Well how absolutely perfect is THIS as a thread for me to stick my oar into (excuse the mixed metaphor).
I have (had, do have, am having) a far younger Dom. How we met is written up here publicly some posts back as a love story. At least it was for me.
I have a submissive nature. That is I don't role play. And I don't play in public.
He is a sadistic dominant and I call him Mister B an abbreviation for bastard. Thus I consider him to be....and nothing to do with the relationship with his mother of which I know nothing.
BUT I am growing tired after only a month or so of the 'drop'.....the intense communication if and when HE wants it and the total absence of any attention whatsoever when he doesn't.
I am still waiting for his call (after two days) and so I suppose that fact that I am still the one who is waiting means that I am still submitting. BUT WHY does he have to hide all feelings behind his mask of domination? It's beginning to feel like a one way street. All the traffic is going one way. All the energy is going from me to him. And for why? Because I am a pure masochist. I must be.
I believe he has had one of the most beautiful submissives (me) walk into his life, clean his partment as service, find (him) (us) two couples to play with, agree to life long friendship and allowed mind blowing (believe me) sex. I have the wheals and the bruises still remainging but that's about it.
Being a younger guy, in ANY dynamic, does not give that guy the right to plug into what they assume is the girl's weakest link: the fear of getting old.
He stated during our last communication, that he does not want me to take another Master. It sounded from the heart. But how would I know this from his behaviour? He tells me I am angry. But I do know how to separarte him from me. I am not angry. he is defensive which is a strange dynamic for a Dominant.
Open mind, open heart and open holes. That is what I offered him.
Does anyone other younger Dom want to take up the challenge?

(in reply to thecrownedprince)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Younger Doms - 11/5/2007 12:51:31 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

If you dont get over your own ego, you might end up not knowing anything in 20 years.

I agree totally. All I can add is that the more I know the more I know I don't know.

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Younger Doms - 11/5/2007 12:54:49 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thecrownedprince
....... so my question is, why do subs feel that age has ANYTHING to do with dominance and a Dom's capabilities...

Actually I wouldn't really state I know how other subs or doms feel. What i do know is that I post at tahoma font size 4 because of failing eyesight.
Maybe that's why I don't see who's cumming....not a typo.

(in reply to thecrownedprince)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Younger Doms - 11/5/2007 1:02:21 AM   
PrizedPosession


Posts: 1209
Joined: 11/2/2007
Status: offline 		my Master is a younger dom.He's 18 and (in my opinion) my Master is probably one of the best Masters around.

(in reply to Prinsexx)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Younger Doms - 11/5/2007 1:04:58 AM   
CollegeConundrum


Posts: 322
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline 		Someone in this thread started rambling abotu polite emails and responses and BS, I don't know but then someone responded about setting mail filters and what not.

Now granted, I'm lucky to get a response from someone, let alone unsolicited email but I don't have any filters set because who knows who I might miss?  I might miss some hottie 49 year old submissive female, who's not looking to fuck, but is still a cool chick and we're good friends..  I might miss some 25 year old male dominant who digs cars and sports, so why would our sexual proclivities prevent us from being friends?

The problem with this website is 99% of the people are here for a hookup.  They might say they're here for friends but the reality is they're here for friends, they may hook-up with.  And that's fine but it really puts a damper on those of us who are just looking for people to interact with about certain thigns because it's not a normally accepted thing.

(in reply to Prinsexx)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Younger Doms - 11/5/2007 4:14:21 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CollegeConundrum

The problem with this website is 99% of the people are here for a hookup.  They might say they're here for friends but the reality is they're here for friends, they may hook-up with.  And that's fine but it really puts a damper on those of us who are just looking for people to interact with about certain thigns because it's not a normally accepted thing.



The title of the home page is "BDSM Personals and Chat". Besides, most of the people who have mail filters set up aren't looking for friends and aren't pretending to be otherwise.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to CollegeConundrum)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Younger Doms - 11/5/2007 4:21:12 AM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline 		Too right, College.  I can't count the number of sincere emails I've sent saying, "Not looking to hook up with you... I AM looking for friends in the local scene, which I can't participate in well because I'm a sailor and have no control over my schedule..." and had them completely ignored.  All of them.  Vanished into a black hole.  I changed my picture and my profile to one of 'hookup' and emailed the same women and men--and got responses.  (No, I'm not bi; I am really, honestly looking for friends and advice.  But apparently, re-aiming my profile towards sub women made me safer to talk to for the guys, too.  And throwing out The Total Ego instead of taking on the posture of student gets me more and better advice.  It's a bloody paradox, I tell you.)

I mean, I started my profile here with the intent to have no relationship at all except for friends until I got back to a shore job.  But it's impossible to get a response unless you shoot straight for the groin and never waver.  Eh.  Rewrote my profile like that, and now I've got a lot more contacts, AND relationship prospects that are patient with my absences. 

Hookup is king on this site.

< Message edited by DMFParadox -- 11/5/2007 4:22:02 AM >

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to CollegeConundrum)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Younger Dom's - 11/5/2007 4:58:18 AM   
Twicehappy2x


Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

As an "older" submissive I can tell you that I have a full life with lots of responsibility and many things needing my attention that occupy the vast majority of my available time. 


I agree here 100%, when i was looking it might be a few days and if i went traipsing the country, a few weeks before i read my mail.

quote:

The result of having that profile here is that I get contacted by a LOT of dominants....young and old. It would be impossible for me to respond in a meaningful way to every one of them who dropped me a note telling me that they would like to know more about me.
 

Getting emails got so bad for me at one point i kept my profile closed so i could write to who caught my eye without feeling like i was being rude for deleting so many emails.

quote:

  Actually, that is probably the number one question I receive in an e-mail..."Tell me a little about yourself". Well, I thought I did that when I wrote my profile, but 9 times out of 10 when I click onto "Who's Viewing Me", the person who sends me the e-mail asking isn't even listed as someone who has taken the time to actually view my full profile.


I too had taken the time to write a well thought out profile, including some very important information that should have stopped 99% of the males contacting me, if, that is, they had taken the time to read it.

quote:

   have also tried to respond to each and every one, even if it is simply a polite "thanks, but no thank you"....which only seems to compel people to send you back something rude. Apparently, rejection is hard for some to take....and "no thank you" is often seen as being just as disrespectful.


Lmao....i also tried this even when it was painfully obvious these guys had not read my profile.
 
That pertinent piece of info on my profile? It stated quite clearly in English "Harley Riders ONLY !" Written just like that too.
 
So when i sent the polite no thanks i am strictly looking for a biker, i got some of the nastiest emails in reply. So why bother, i just started deleting those emails.
 
The other thing that got guys blocked was after a simple conversation or two their assumption that suddenly i was talking exclusively to them or that we had some kind of agreement. Pluuuleeeseee! After i have a collar around my neck, not after a conversation or a coffee date.

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Younger Doms - 11/5/2007 5:15:32 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		well, junior, what do younger doms offer that older doms can't?

i'm looking for more than just sex on the fly when it comes to a relationship such as stability (mental, emotional, employment, and financial), common interests, the same goals, etc 

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to thecrownedprince)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Younger Doms - 11/5/2007 6:02:56 AM   
Exquemelin


Posts: 113
Joined: 2/2/2007
From: CT
Status: offline 		As a younger dom(24 still counts as younger right?) I'm a bit surprised by these threads. I started my search about 9 months ago, I've met about 3 or 4 people in non munch situtations and most of those were just friends I was meeting. Only one of those was a potential relationship and she is now mine, although we're still very early in our relationship. I suspect it's tough to be a dom starting out at any age. One of the most common desires in a partner I saw while I was searching was expierence.

While our OP claims to have been in the lifestyle for 6 years, I'm not sure how much I ever believe it when I see someone claiming to have begun before they could legally smoke. I suppose it's possible but it just doesn't seem likely. I'm not saying he hasn't just that while I'm sure there are young people who are exceptionally expierenced, my and I think just about everybody else's intial inclination is, "Yeah, how much expierence could you really have?" I know my expierence 9 months ago could be summed up by vanilla girlfriend and a pair of metal cuffs. While I have alot more expierence now, I'm still fairly inexpierenced.

My advice for the search, be polite, keep trying, go slow and don't get down. I sent out alot of emails that never got returned, which never surprised me. I spent a long time talking with a couple of subs who right when we were talking about meeting suddenly they were never online. I don't know what the recent rash of younger doms considers respect but I hope they either take the time and work to earn it or leave the BDSM to their imaginations.

Ex

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Younger Doms - 11/5/2007 7:27:33 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		great polished doms dommes carry them selves in a manner in which you can tell  the ds from the gs  ( ds= dumb shit from the gs= good stuff) bdsm ds has become a fad a fashion nazi statement of rebelious nature  all the raviors goth and every other mud making dumb ass is now in the lifestyle. so now you have a blurr of what it is really alll  about.  you have concepts and and ideas and all kinds of faulty logic.  and older people just do not want to waist time to relearn lessons  Some do not have the time to waist

(in reply to Exquemelin)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Younger Doms - 11/5/2007 10:08:52 AM   
Guilty1974


Posts: 467
Joined: 11/2/2005
From: Den Haag
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PrizedPosession

my Master is a younger dom.He's 18 and (in my opinion) my Master is probably one of the best Masters around.


There is no best Master. Your perfect Master can be someone else's worst nightmare and the other way around. The only relevant question is: Is he the Dominant you want...

(in reply to PrizedPosession)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Younger Doms - 11/5/2007 10:33:37 AM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		It's because they don't know you and don't know how much (or how little,as the case may be) you know about the lifestyle, level of experience, or whether you can be trusted to respect limits, etc.

As another has pointed out-respect is earned.

(in reply to thecrownedprince)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Younger Doms - 11/5/2007 10:36:32 AM   
MasterShibari


Posts: 81
Joined: 5/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

well, junior, what do younger doms offer that older doms can't?

i'm looking for more than just sex on the fly when it comes to a relationship such as stability (mental, emotional, employment, and financial), common interests, the same goals, etc 


I disagree with some of what you have said.  I believe a Young Dom is perfectly capable of providing stability mentally and emotionally, as well as sharing common interests and goals.  While it is true that many younger men are interested primarily in sex on the fly, so are many older men, and I dislike that you have generalized us all together.  Not every man is motivated first and foremost by his penis.

As for financial stability?  Well, in some respects your right.  While I've always had a steady job since I was 16, I am still a college student.  Which means financially, I'm well, a college student.  -laughs-  I'm not capable of supporting another person financially, even if I do a damn good job supporting myself.

Which leads me to another advantage most older Doms have on us younger ones, toy collections.  While I’m proud of the collection I have of ropes, whips, vibrators, and other toys, I’ve only been collecting them for two years.  Older Doms have in some cases been collecting them for ten times as many years, and are financially able to purchase things I can’t afford right now, such as violet wands and entire collections of whips, clamps, floggers, and cat-o-nine tails.

Best wishes to you on your journey,

M. Shibari

< Message edited by MasterShibari -- 11/5/2007 10:38:44 AM >

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Younger Doms - 11/5/2007 1:03:55 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		Do you have kids have you bought home.  have you faced illness . or even  been married or even had surgery. what about friends and familty all this huopla brings into question what someone is or is not all this effects what and who you are. Job family. just living. those that have been do not want to return to what was.  It is not saying your not a caring or loving person. But each of us grows and expands our own horizons. for a better furture for us and the ones we are with. People in there forties are looking for security emotional and fiscal. thats just reality people do change as we get older that is just fact. Live life for you. Not because someone tells you how to.  you want an older sub prove you can be what they NEED. But

(in reply to MasterShibari)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Younger Doms - 11/5/2007 1:10:04 PM   
SoHott


Posts: 80
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

Do you have kids have you bought home.  have you faced illness . or even  been married or even had surgery. what about friends and familty all this huopla brings into question what someone is or is not all this effects what and who you are. Job family. just living. those that have been do not want to return to what was.  It is not saying your not a caring or loving person. But each of us grows and expands our own horizons. for a better furture for us and the ones we are with. People in there forties are looking for security emotional and fiscal. thats just reality people do change as we get older that is just fact. Live life for you. Not because someone tells you how to.  you want an older sub prove you can be what they NEED. But


This girl asks forgiveness in advance for speaking. She has found that older people are very much concerned with issues of emotional and financial security. she doesn't know why this is, but it has been a dealbreaker on a few occasions because her service was unable to encompass "permanent." Perhaps my flaw is in being unable to imagine permanence.

< Message edited by SoHott -- 11/5/2007 1:12:23 PM >

_____________________________

If everything in life was free
We'd float in our own reverie
The things that you can't seem to see
seal the gap between you and me

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Younger Doms - 11/5/2007 1:38:22 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

great polished doms dommes carry them selves in a manner in which you can tell  the ds from the gs  ( ds= dumb shit from the gs= good stuff) bdsm ds has become a fad a fashion nazi statement of rebelious nature  all the raviors goth and every other mud making dumb ass is now in the lifestyle. so now you have a blurr of what it is really alll  about.


Latex babes you know you just nail it for me sometimes. I agree....they'll be giving collars out as freebies at the checkouts soon.....checkout kit will have a disclaimer that says;
Warning! bdsm can seriously damage your health
and
Illegal to sell to minors......but it still won't stop the queues.......


< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 11/5/2007 1:48:20 PM >

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Younger Doms - 11/5/2007 1:41:57 PM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

But it's impossible to get a response unless you shoot straight for the groin and never waver. 



Yes yes, there is nothing worse than a waffling crotch.

(in reply to DMFParadox)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Younger Doms - 11/5/2007 1:47:13 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterShibari

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl
 I believe a Young Dom is perfectly capable of providing stability mentally and emotionally, as well as sharing common interests and goals. 

Look I agree with you here. I am submissive by nature in my bdsm world. I am an alpha female in all other respects....well respected in the community, teacher, professional, single mother, financially independent. I am not looking for a Dominant to provide any of those things as I have had men who have tried to do so and it has simply been a power over situation.
I need that raw excitement in a Dom that comes from my pleasure, when my pleasure in turn comes from his excitement.....I've tried it other ways and having a Dom who is older or even the same age as me, doesn't at this moment in time, well it doesn't do it for me. It's flattery to have that raw energy around me. It's tireless and optimistic and well a turn on....it's as if the young energy gets transferred to me.....delicious, fabulous and captivating.

(in reply to MasterShibari)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Younger Doms - 11/5/2007 2:42:03 PM   
biracalsub4wmDom


Posts: 109
Joined: 7/26/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline 		Hello Thecrownedprince...

First let me state that I have not gone thru & read every post to this thread.  I have read the OP, and prefer to reply directly to that. 
I am new to all of this.  But in the short time that I have been using Collarme, I have found several differences between Older & Younger Doms that I would like to point out.  Some positive!  Some negative unfortunately.

One thing I've noticed in my conversations with younger Doms is that a lot of them expect you to submit to them right off the bat.  Like....within the first msg, they are giving orders.  You can look at that as pushy & rude, or you can look at it as eager. :)   Also, they tend to be more "dry".  I guess what I mean by dry is, to the point.  No chit chat.  No small talk.  No lets get to know each other.  It's straight to the point....what are your limits & will you let my buddies fuck you in the ass.  lol 
The other thing I've noticed is that of the Doms I've conversated with,  it seems like 9 times out of 10, it is the younger ones who tend to leave you hanging.  You talk, things are going well, then you never hear from them again.  Perhaps they lost interrest, or found someone more interresting.  But they don't say, they just dissapear.  That is dishartening, and causes one to question the maturity level.  And unfortunately, it also causes one to be leary.  :(

On the flip side of that, I do find that younger Doms can be a lot more fun. :)  There is a certain energy in their youth that is very attractive & apealing.  As far as respect, I try to show basic human respect to everyone.  Dom/sub....young/old.   And I try very hard not to judge based on age.  

_____________________________

blessings...

biracialsub

***Please respect that I am OWNED & not seeking a Master. Thank You***




(in reply to BOUNTYHUNTER)
Profile   Post #: 80
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Younger Doms Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094