How to punish a masochist ?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

How to punish a masochist ?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> How to punish a masochist ?

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

How to punish a masochist ? - 11/4/2007 10:51:52 AM

Winnowing99

Posts: 4
Joined: 7/12/2005
Status: offline

I have been a dom for many years, and until now have never had trouble with this.

Recently aquired a slave that is a true masochist. Though we have only been together for a short time we have really taken to each other. The problem is that on occation she forgets her place, or just acts up, and corporal punishment is more of a reward than discipline.

She does not have very many extras in her life, and in most cases taking something away would also take something away from me.

Looking for some creative ways to discipline without rewarding.

Post #: 1

RE: How to punish a masochist ? - 11/4/2007 10:58:01 AM

Phoenix2raven

Posts: 347
Joined: 10/14/2006
Status: offline

The thing that worked best in that situation was no scening. Simple but effective "if you can control your own urges."

_____________________________

If you're a Dominate, are you looking for a sublimate?

(in reply to Winnowing99)

Post #: 2

RE: How to punish a masochist ? - 11/4/2007 10:59:38 AM

Dari

Posts: 192
Joined: 10/8/2007
Status: offline

There's a marked difference between hurting for play/fun, and hurting because you're disappointed/unhappy. In my experience, I can do the same thing two times through, and if I'm doing it because I enjoy it/want to, my sub will enjoy it, and if I'm doing it because I'm disappointed in the actions of the same sub, and feel a lesson is needed, then they don't enjoy it - even if it's something they'd normally love.

Adding the mental aspect makes a difference.

Another (probably common) tactic for masochists is to not physically punish them - not touch them at all. Binding that cannot be escaped, but which doesn't hurt, in a corner or a closet somewhere away - out of sight. Or part of the room but not involved in any way, while you go about whatever you were doing. If she/he can't be bothered to behave, then you can't be bothered to take the time to give them the physical pain they crave.

(in reply to Winnowing99)

Post #: 3

RE: How to punish a masochist ? - 11/4/2007 10:59:46 AM

Mellissande

Posts: 435
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline

I would suggest, showing the full amount of your disappointment... Possibly reverting to things like corner time. Find something she does not enjoy and form a punishment around that... Just this humble submissive's opinion

(in reply to Winnowing99)

Post #: 4

RE: How to punish a masochist ? - 11/4/2007 11:00:03 AM

Raechard

Posts: 3513
Joined: 3/10/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline

I once told a sub to stop shaving under her arms not because I like hairy armpits but because I knew she’d like them even less.

Doesn't work for all nationalities I suppose.

_____________________________

えへまにんへえや
Nobody wants to listen to the same song over and over again!

(in reply to Winnowing99)

Post #: 5

RE: How to punish a masochist ? - 11/4/2007 11:05:03 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Winnowing99

The problem is that on occation she forgets her place, or just acts up, and corporal punishment is more of a reward than discipline.

Gosh I thought you were talking about me for a moment then.
The worse punishment is no bdsm, no scening and just being plain vaniila ice.

(in reply to Winnowing99)

Post #: 6

RE: How to punish a masochist ? - 11/4/2007 11:06:17 AM

MystressDream

Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
Status: offline

A particularly nasty chore works well.... and, I agree with the other posters, corner time or ignoring them for a period of time is usually effective also.

The last thing I use when punishing a masochist is pain.

_____________________________

Knowledge and experience are wonderful things to share. When we stop asking questions, we might as well "hang it up".

check out: www.enclaveproductions.com
www.enclavewest.com

(in reply to Winnowing99)

Post #: 7

RE: How to punish a masochist ? - 11/4/2007 11:07:49 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

First decide whether punishment is necessary. WHat's the source of the behavior? Lack of training? Focus? Misunderstanding expectations? Needy for attention? There are many motivations BEHIND bad behavior, and I find it only rarely requires the consideration of actual punishment at all. The great majority of the time simply addressing the core issues directly with talking and training deal with them in a much more positive, relationship strengthening, long term satisfactory way.

In the times you do decide to give punishment, understand that the idea that you can't punish masochists with pain is a myth, utterly and completely. What matters is the MINDSET of the masochist. If they have internalized that their behavior was wrong and internalized that the punishment is a punishment, then ANYTHING you do will be effective.

If they don't, then it doesn't matter what you do.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Winnowing99)

Post #: 8

RE: How to punish a masochist ? - 11/4/2007 11:18:14 AM

LadyLegs

Posts: 176
Status: offline

I like cleaning as a form of punishment. As LuckyAlbatross notes, it may not be effective, but at least the place is cleaner.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 9

RE: How to punish a masochist ? - 11/4/2007 11:24:12 AM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

first off, follow what LA said...is the punishment necessary...because if you're doing something on the surface and it needs a deep cleaning, then the its going to keep happeneing...

that being said...the worst punishment i have ever heard of for someone like me who is a service oriented masochist is to be denied the right to serve while watching my Dominant do the chores...thankfully this has never happened....

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to LadyLegs)

Post #: 10

RE: How to punish a masochist ? - 11/4/2007 12:02:54 PM

LatexHer

Posts: 56
Joined: 11/16/2006
Status: offline

One of our favorite forms of punishments is a unique form of foot torture. We have adopted this technique from an article we read several years ago where a Master placed the spiky end of a plastic carpet protector sheet under his subs feet during play.

A pair of your slaves shoes with an ankle strap or pair of boots, is best for this torture. Take the insole out of the shoes, and place them on top of the smooth side of the carpet protector. Carefully cut an exact duplicate of each insole. Place the insoles and "New Torment Insoles" back in her shoes and make her put them on.

This torture gets quite painful in a very short time. For prolonged wear, one might take a belt sander or similar device and grind the points to a blunt edge. Works well for us. ENJOY

Master LatexHer

(in reply to Winnowing99)

Post #: 11

RE: How to punish a masochist ? - 11/4/2007 12:33:41 PM

BloodLuna

Posts: 403
Joined: 10/28/2007
Status: offline

I agree with a few of the posters here, particularly nasty domestic chores work well (try cleaning a toliet with a toothbrush! It sucks!) There is always an oven or fridge that needs cleaning.

Corner time works well - I use a particularly nasty version of it called the imaginary chair. Have your submissive place her back against the wall and squat until it appears that she is sitting down in a chair. Hold this position until the tears come. Has the added benefit of strengthening the thighs. Make sure that she is forced to be extra submissive that day. She is only allowed out of her "chair" when you need something - a drink, fetch a book , cook dinner, and then right back into her "chair" she goes. I've gone so far as to use an adult diaper and refuse bathroom breaks if I knew my submissive was particularly humiliated by that action.

Also, when dealing with female submissives I've noted one particularly NASTY punishment that works quite effectively. Take away her makeup for 3 days. Seriously. not her skin care stuff, that is often a health necessity for women - just forbid the color. Foundation, blush, lipstick, eyeshadow - all of it. Color is a privellage, not a right. No color for work, play or anything.

Ideally, remember that pain for pleasure and pain for punishment is always different. I LOVE to be spanked. But believe you me, when I've screwed up and I'm over Daddy's knees, I HATE being spanked!!!! Use a paddle or the back of a hair brush and make sure with every stroke that your submissive is aware of your displeasure. It is about the disappointment of the Dominant - the mental suffering of knowing a submissive has displeased and is being punished is supposed to be more painful than the punishment itself.

hope this helps
Lady Luna

_____________________________

"Old goths never die, they just need less makeup"

(in reply to LatexHer)

Post #: 12

RE: How to punish a masochist ? - 11/4/2007 12:38:57 PM

completenz

Posts: 315
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline

the words 'you disappoint me'. Without doubt the worst punishment i could ever receive
btw prinsexx... great photo, looking hot hon!!!
chrissie

(in reply to Winnowing99)

Post #: 13

RE: How to punish a masochist ? - 11/4/2007 12:43:05 PM

dcnovice

Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline

Okay, I'm a novice bottom, so I'm no expert. That said, I did have one idea. Maybe have her take out, carefully arrange, gaze at, and then put away all the pain-inducing toys you would have used if you weren't punishing her?

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to completenz)

Post #: 14

RE: How to punish a masochist ? - 11/4/2007 12:46:42 PM

wisteriaV

Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline

Master used to have the same problem with me. I am a pain slut so any form of physical pain brought pleassure. He has come up with a few ideas that I'll share with you. Don't allow her to call you Master for 24 hours including serving you in any way shape or form. Do not allow her to speak a word to you for a specific time period. If she is used to sitting near you, have her sit far from you with her back to you so she can not look at you for a given period. The one thing that really gets me hard inside is when Master looks at me and says that I have hurt him in his heart because my behavior was not acceptable and now it hurts more because he has to punish me and that means taking time from him...and then proceeds with a quiet time where I am sent to another room for a couple of hours to think about what I have done.

_____________________________

Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

(in reply to BloodLuna)

Post #: 15

RE: How to punish a masochist ? - 11/4/2007 1:10:40 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BloodLuna

y. Take away her makeup for 3 days.

ssssssssccccccccccccccccrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmming

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 11/4/2007 1:11:04 PM >

(in reply to BloodLuna)

Post #: 16

RE: How to punish a masochist ? - 11/4/2007 1:34:16 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

And we all jump right back onto the "handing punishment out like candy to fix whatever comes along" bandwagon...

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Prinsexx)

Post #: 17

RE: How to punish a masochist ? - 11/4/2007 1:37:36 PM

Koala

Posts: 63
Joined: 5/5/2007
Status: offline

Perhaps combining the witholding of scening & sexual contact with forcing her to watch others in scenes that she would wish to be a part of?

That way she can see what she's missing, and ponder how she might redeem herself.

< Message edited by Koala -- 11/4/2007 1:38:31 PM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 18

RE: How to punish a masochist ? - 11/4/2007 1:41:28 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

And we all jump right back onto the "handing punishment out like candy to fix whatever comes along" bandwagon...

It's easier than teaching, that's why :)

I have received punishments, but they always came with a lesson to be remembered, and were always used in a way that would correct the problem and prevent it from happening again. In other words, they were a tool used in addition with learning why the problem occured and how to avoid it in the future.

That said, so often people think punishment means something physically painful. Maybe people relate that to growing up, or maybe it's a lack of creativity. There are lots of ways to punish someone without ever laying a hand on them, and they can be so much more effective than any basic spanking.

But I'm not going to give my Master's secrets away

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 19

RE: How to punish a masochist ? - 11/4/2007 1:45:54 PM

HouseBetwnWorlds

Posts: 29
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline

Find out the problem behind the behavior first, sounds like the acting out is a symptom of something deeper. Also, you said just acquired her recently recently. Question then: How well do you know her and not the fetish, withs what deep in her mind? If you do that you can address the real issue and the problem should go away.

As for actual disciplining a masochist thats actually easy if you think about it.

(in reply to Koala)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> How to punish a masochist ?

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094