Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Sub problems


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Sub problems Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Sub problems - 11/5/2007 7:53:31 AM   
Domunorthants


Posts: 12
Joined: 10/11/2007
Status: offline 		I have recently started seeing a sub who says she has commited fully to me. However, although she changed her profile to show that she was serving me, she has changed it to show that she was not serving twice, and has only changed it back when I told her to.

Any ideas what I should do?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Sub problems - 11/5/2007 7:55:51 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I don't see your profile stating that you are seeing anyone, why should she state that either?
Commitment is a two-way street, unless negotiated otherwise.

(in reply to Domunorthants)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Sub problems - 11/5/2007 7:57:03 AM   
SoHott


Posts: 80
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Domunorthants

I have recently started seeing a sub who says she has commited fully to me. However, although she changed her profile to show that she was serving me, she has changed it to show that she was not serving twice, and has only changed it back when I told her to.

Any ideas what I should do?


maybe, take the bitters with the sweets..?

_____________________________

If everything in life was free
We'd float in our own reverie
The things that you can't seem to see
seal the gap between you and me

(in reply to Domunorthants)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Sub problems - 11/5/2007 7:57:50 AM   
RRafe


Posts: 2060
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Domunorthants

I have recently started seeing a sub who says she has commited fully to me. However, although she changed her profile to show that she was serving me, she has changed it to show that she was not serving twice, and has only changed it back when I told her to.

Any ideas what I should do?
 

Tell her to quit being such a selfish bitch. And that if she's fishing for a back up, she can't have her cake and eat it too.

Get some stones man-if she hasn't got what it takes to submit-you are better off without her.

< Message edited by RRafe -- 11/5/2007 7:58:29 AM >

_____________________________

I seem to be some wierd combination of Ren and Stimpy

(in reply to Domunorthants)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Sub problems - 11/5/2007 7:58:51 AM   
MystressDream


Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
Status: offline 		Is this an "online service" or real time? 

How long have you been "seeing her"?

Is there a collar involved?

_____________________________

Knowledge and experience are wonderful things to share. When we stop asking questions, we might as well "hang it up".

check out: www.enclaveproductions.com
www.enclavewest.com

(in reply to Domunorthants)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Sub problems - 11/5/2007 8:19:01 AM   
Domunorthants


Posts: 12
Joined: 10/11/2007
Status: offline 		It's an online thing, but we are looking to meet in the next week or so. I've been seeing her nearly every day for 2 weeks, and she has picked out a collar which she wants to wear

(in reply to MystressDream)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Sub problems - 11/5/2007 8:25:43 AM   
MystressDream


Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
Status: offline 		You have been talking to her online for two weeks. 

She is picking out a collar. 

You haven't even met her.

Considering what I would actually like to say about this, I better defer to someone else who can be more tactful.  My only comments are...... This is "online".... Online is a fantasy.... A collar is a very serious comittment, and it shouldn't be made of velcro.

Edited to add:  Interesting that SHE is picking out the collar... because SHE wants to wear it.  Who is the Dom here?

< Message edited by MystressDream -- 11/5/2007 8:26:48 AM >

_____________________________

Knowledge and experience are wonderful things to share. When we stop asking questions, we might as well "hang it up".

check out: www.enclaveproductions.com
www.enclavewest.com

(in reply to Domunorthants)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Sub problems - 11/5/2007 8:37:02 AM   
SoHott


Posts: 80
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Domunorthants

It's an online thing, but we are looking to meet in the next week or so. I've been seeing her nearly every day for 2 weeks, and she has picked out a collar which she wants to wear


this girl is in awe that u allow your slaves to choose their own collars. (just between us I would have liked something in silver with red coral studs...

_____________________________

If everything in life was free
We'd float in our own reverie
The things that you can't seem to see
seal the gap between you and me

(in reply to Domunorthants)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Sub problems - 11/5/2007 8:41:22 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MystressDream
<snip>

Edited to add:  Interesting that SHE is picking out the collar... because SHE wants to wear it.  Who is the Dom here?


the person in charge of the relationship is not always determined by title....


_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to MystressDream)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Sub problems - 11/5/2007 9:17:23 AM   
MystressDream


Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
Status: offline 		chellekitty...

Then, IMO.... the titles, in this particular type of "relationship" are a sham.

< Message edited by MystressDream -- 11/5/2007 9:18:35 AM >

_____________________________

Knowledge and experience are wonderful things to share. When we stop asking questions, we might as well "hang it up".

check out: www.enclaveproductions.com
www.enclavewest.com

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Sub problems - 11/5/2007 9:29:09 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Any ideas what I should do?


Yeah, wait until you meet a few times in real life before deciding to collar and change profiles.  I don't blame her for not wanting to commit to you before meeting.  Also, some people don't like to live their lives through their profile, she may be one of those.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Domunorthants)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Sub problems - 11/5/2007 10:22:33 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MystressDream

chellekitty...

Then, IMO.... the titles, in this particular type of "relationship" are a sham.


well....if they want to claim to be purple headed giraffes and call eachother Mr and Mrs President...who am i to judge their kink.....

edited for an errant "e"


< Message edited by chellekitty -- 11/5/2007 10:23:19 AM >

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to MystressDream)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Sub problems - 11/5/2007 10:46:07 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I concur with MystressDream on this on. Sounds like 2 kids playing a game with each other.

(in reply to chellekitty)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Sub problems - 11/5/2007 11:11:49 AM   
susie


Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Domunorthants

I have recently started seeing a sub who says she has commited fully to me. However, although she changed her profile to show that she was serving me, she has changed it to show that she was not serving twice, and has only changed it back when I told her to.

Any ideas what I should do?



You have been seeing her but you have not met yet? This is an online thing but she is fully committed?
Sounds like a lot of growing up needs to be done!

When I was looking to meet a Dom I chatted to a few people a couple of whom sounded perfect when I was chatting to them. When I actually met them in real life there was nothing there. We only ever met the once for coffee or lunch. Someone may sound perfect for you when it is online but real life is a whole different ball game.

So what should you do?
1. Wait to see if she actually turns up when you are supposed to meet
2. Wait to see if she does turn up she is actually what you thought she was
3. Don't even think about a collar until you have met in real life and discussed what you both really want from a relationship

(in reply to Domunorthants)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Sub problems - 11/5/2007 11:26:14 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Fully commited and you haven't met - only recently starting talking and you have been on the site less than a month.
Too many warning signs straight off - to commit to anything even before you have met is a big risk if you dont get along in real life - unless online is what you want.
 
I suggest you slow down - you sound as though you have frenzy to me - and you are not incontrol of the relationship either by your words.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Domunorthants)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Sub problems - 11/5/2007 11:28:50 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		Agrees with everrrrrrrrything susie says ^ above.

It is online? Lordy, I have said on my profile that I adored a guy after mere hours..ooo my Master .

Ya oooook.  Who in his right mind is going to believe that???  If he asked me to change my profile or wanted to meet after a few convos then hell, sure, it is worth the profile change for the hell of it.  Does a guy really believe I mean it? Um, ya, a few have LOL.  I especially love how they ask you to change a profile and they don't. I especially ham mine up for that type.

Why have interest in the easy to fall in internet (*coughs) love??

(in reply to susie)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Sub problems - 11/5/2007 11:34:59 AM   
SoulPiercer


Posts: 374
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline 		Take a trip over to a "vanilla" dating site.

Look for all the profiles that say "not accepting emails", "dating Hunky SixPack" etc. etc.

You won't find many of them.

After 12 years I still don't get the whole "change your profile because you've been talking to the same person for 2 weeks" deal.

But if that's your thing, like RRafe said, act like you've got a pair.



_____________________________

Do you have any idea how many bones you have left for me to break? - Batman

(in reply to susie)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Sub problems - 11/5/2007 11:47:07 AM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings domunorthants,

i would question the whole idea of "full commitment" before having met in real life and having known each other only two weeks online. if i were entering into a new relationship, i would only change my profile after i was collared, and i would not expect that to happen before at least a month of real-life contact and getting to know each other very well...that's how our relationship worked at least, and we had already known each other in a vanilla context for several years beforehand. it seems like you are putting the cart a few miles ahead of the horse here.

respectfully,
annabelle.


_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to SoulPiercer)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Sub problems - 11/5/2007 11:57:31 AM   
Michaelsangel


Posts: 49
Joined: 10/15/2007
From: Portland Oregon
Status: offline 		i totally agree with annabelle. Sir and i started out dating as a vanilla couple and after 6 months, we started talking about the lifestyle. It was 6 months after just talking about it  that we entered into a D/s relationship. We have been together for 5 years now as a D/s couple.

Michaelsangel

(in reply to SoulPiercer)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Sub problems - 11/5/2007 4:29:58 PM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline 		 A collar of ownership  is similiar in concept as a wedding  ring is in a vanilla context,  if you would not go out a buy a wedding  ring for girl you have never met and have only known 2 weeks, then you should not be buying a collar collar of ownership either.

The only collar you can even consider at this point of your relationship is a training collar  and it is not a symbol of ownership

Some info on collars here --> http://castlerealm.com/library/morecollars.shtml

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to Michaelsangel)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Sub problems Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.108