taking care of ones needs

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

taking care of ones needs

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> taking care of ones needs

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

taking care of ones needs - 11/9/2007 1:09:21 PM

frustratinggirl

Posts: 29
Joined: 6/13/2007
Status: offline

why am i considered vanilla if i know in my heart I hate sharing my partner. Are there masters out there who are happy with one sole property and have no need to have another? am i in a search that cannot exist?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: taking care of ones needs - 11/9/2007 1:11:20 PM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

there are tons of monogamous Master's out there...you are not in search of something that cannot exist...they do...keep looking...

why did i find all of them and all the monogamous girls find the poly Masters?

good luck,
chelle

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to frustratinggirl)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: taking care of ones needs - 11/9/2007 1:14:18 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: frustratinggirl

why am i considered vanilla if i know in my heart I hate sharing my partner. Are there masters out there who are happy with one sole property and have no need to have another? am i in a search that cannot exist?

who said you are vanilla? who cares what anyone thinks about what YOU want? I sure hope there are Masters out there who are happy with one, because many of us want that. don't worry and keep searching.

nice pic, btw.

(in reply to frustratinggirl)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: taking care of ones needs - 11/9/2007 1:22:35 PM

completenz

Posts: 315
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline

C sought, and found, the one He wanted.
We are a monogamous couple who are no longer searching so...
the answer is yes, they are out there and if that is what you seek then dont settle for less.
c

(in reply to frustratinggirl)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: taking care of ones needs - 11/9/2007 1:29:14 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

They do exist. I think they are rare though. Most eventually want some sort of non-monogamous situation. It's pretty much the reason I've stopped looking.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to frustratinggirl)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: taking care of ones needs - 11/9/2007 1:34:35 PM

treehugger42

Posts: 29
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

They do exist. I think they are rare though. Most eventually want some sort of non-monogamous situation. It's pretty much the reason I've stopped looking.

Bleah, shitty. I think I found a truly monogamous one *crosses fingers* and no one can have him!

(in reply to KatyLied)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: taking care of ones needs - 11/9/2007 1:35:54 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

What he hasn't mentioned the "sister sub" yet?

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to treehugger42)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: taking care of ones needs - 11/9/2007 1:52:41 PM

frustratinggirl

Posts: 29
Joined: 6/13/2007
Status: offline

i ant bring myself to a threesome for the sake of my master, yet i feel like im holding back sometihng he requires, but i cant , it hurts too much, its a strange question, give in ? or be hurt?

(in reply to KatyLied)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: taking care of ones needs - 11/9/2007 2:46:32 PM

defiantbadgirl

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: frustratinggirl

why am i considered vanilla if i know in my heart I hate sharing my partner.

I don't know who told you that, but such a statement implies that one must be into bdsm to be poly. I assure you there are plenty of polys out there who aren't into bdsm, just as there are plenty of people into bdsm who aren't poly. Whoever told you that is trying to manipulate you. It's up to you to decide whether or not to allow the manipulation. If I was in your situation, I would only be willing to share my partner if my partner was willing to share me. For me, sharing works both ways or not at all.

_____________________________

Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.

Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to frustratinggirl)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: taking care of ones needs - 11/9/2007 4:24:09 PM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

why did i find all of them and all the monogamous girls find the poly Masters?

Because the universe has a really perverse sense of humor.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to chellekitty)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: taking care of ones needs - 11/9/2007 4:25:18 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

if by vanilla you mean the cone by your name, it has nothing to do with orentation. It's a post number symble it changes more you post.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: taking care of ones needs - 11/9/2007 4:26:57 PM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: frustratinggirl

or be hurt?

Only if you enjoy it. That actually applies to a lot of strange stuff in this lifestyle.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to frustratinggirl)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: taking care of ones needs - 11/9/2007 4:50:57 PM

frustratinggirl

Posts: 29
Joined: 6/13/2007
Status: offline

ya ya you know what I mean ;.p
different hurts for different folks.

some scar longer than others.

(in reply to Padriag)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: taking care of ones needs - 11/9/2007 9:59:33 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

You have to decide what it is you want and need... you can compromise some of what you want, but never what you need. If that means that you are vanilla, at least you can be at peace within yourself and be happily vanilla. I would rather be happy than a label, howabout you?

I know many people would not consider me "submissive". who cares, they are not my Dom. As long as he is impressed, that is all that matters, and he is.

That leads me to your next problem, are there any monogamous doms out there, will they all eventually want more than one sub? I can say I found one that wants monogamy in the sense that I am his only submissive, but we may one day play with other people... I would prefer these others NOT be submissive, if we go there at all. I think I want be married to whomever I end up doing that sort of thing with also, I need that level of commitment.

There is nothing wrong with setting the standards you need in a relationship, and if others do not like your standards they are always free to look elsewhere. Lets face it, finding compatibility in this lifestyle is rather hard at times. If it takes awhile to find someone that matches you, it takes awhile... you are not alone in what you seek.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to frustratinggirl)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: taking care of ones needs - 11/9/2007 10:38:35 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Yes, there are monagamous Masters out there. Keep looking.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to frustratinggirl)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: taking care of ones needs - 11/10/2007 5:13:43 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

We're monogamous. However we discussed it first. Did your dom bother to mention that he would expect you to have threesomes before collaring, or did he happen to keep that important piece of information hidden so he could spring it on you? Because if he didn't tell you until you were collared, so he could claim you didn't have the right to refuse, then I would lose total respect for this lie of omission and I would seriously re-evaluate what I was getting from a relationship with someone who would lie and manipulate me in this manner.

Next time, state right away that you're strictly monogamous and will not consider threeways, bisexual sex, open relationships, poly etc - any and all variations. And the moment you get told you're a fake sub for demanding this (which you will get told) use the block button.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: taking care of ones needs - 11/10/2007 6:44:33 AM

MasterofScyn

Posts: 141
Joined: 11/4/2007
Status: offline

We are monogamous as well. Master spent to much time and effort to pull me out of the situation I was in, he knows what he has, appreciates and loves me with his very being. Right now we just simply don't want to share eachother, we have talked about it and if we ever do... big IF there... It will be with another couple. He has had 3 somes before, I have not so I don't really know how I would feel about them. Other than that, he feels that if we did something like that, it might possibly put a strain on us, one of those "been there and done that" type things. I'm his match and he is mine........

It just comes down to what you want and feel. Anymore I don't think I can share my Master and I know he doesn't want to share me. Perhaps further down the road I might seek another pet for him as a surprise, but not anytime soon. I'm to selfish to share.

(in reply to Celeste43)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: taking care of ones needs - 11/10/2007 3:20:09 PM

SirJohnMandevill

Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

They do exist. I think they are rare though. Most eventually want some sort of non-monogamous situation. It's pretty much the reason I've stopped looking.

I figure if there is just one sub who can truly meet my needs, and I hers, I'll be doing pretty damned good!

Les (Illegitimate son of Leslie Neilsen and Robby the Robot)

_____________________________

Iam an eroticist
I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
I found my strip naked soul soup
With the deviant ingredient
---The B-52s

(in reply to KatyLied)

Profile

Post #: 18

RE: taking care of ones needs - 11/10/2007 9:36:22 PM

MidnightMaiden

Posts: 142
Joined: 10/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: frustratinggirl

i ant bring myself to a threesome for the sake of my master, yet i feel like im holding back sometihng he requires, but i cant , it hurts too much, its a strange question, give in ? or be hurt?

First of all establish if it is indeed a need, or if its a greed. Huuuuugggge difference. Some people are wired to be poly, to limit them to a mono relationship, well ultimately its destructive. Some people are just greedy, and because they are in a position of power and can have whatever they want, they do so without any real regard to the impact on others. Is it need or greed?

You are not a better slave if a little piece of you dies inside every time you see him with another.
Bend, but never allow yourself to be broken.

(in reply to frustratinggirl)

Profile

Post #: 19

RE: taking care of ones needs - 11/13/2007 2:06:21 PM

southernhart

Posts: 120
Joined: 9/27/2007
Status: offline

i am my Master's only slave and will remain that way. His experiences of having more than one submissive at a time worked oujt badly for him, and he has no need to share me with anyone any way. That's one fetish i'm glad he doesn't have.

(in reply to MidnightMaiden)

Profile

Post #: 20