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RE: My psychiatrist is against the Master. - 11/9/2007 10:21:42 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty


I do not pay my shrink. Sometimes I try and offer a nominal sum, but in he basically sees me for free as he finds me an interesting patient.


Yeah, RIGHT. You are totally fascinating, I am sure he is writing a book about you.


Actually, when I went to threrapy for several years my therapist didn't charge me as I couldn't afford it then.  Believe me, there was nothing sexual about it.  Sometimes people just do good things to do good things.  There is also here at least a repayment method from the mental health region for sliding scale or free patients.  It's not much, but I know of quite a few professionals that take patients on that basis.


In your case, Laurel, I believe it. In the OP's case, I do not. I won't elaborate.

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: My psychiatrist is against the Master. - 11/9/2007 10:23:20 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Yeah I'm not commenting on her credibility, just the general principle.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: My psychiatrist is against the Master. - 11/9/2007 10:23:36 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		It doesn't sound like he's against your Master, but against how you are or aren't setting healthy boundaries in the relationship. If you need time and physical affection, you should look for someone who can give you that. If you're Master doesn't want to, ask permission to find a boyfriend.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to kitttty)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: My psychiatrist is against the Master. - 11/9/2007 10:25:39 PM   
sexyred1


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Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

Yeah I'm not commenting on her credibility, just the general principle.


Well sadly, here in the tri state area, the medical professionals do not tend to be "do gooders" in any way, shape or form, so perhaps that also lends to my cynicism. But I stand by what I said relating to the OP.

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: My psychiatrist is against the Master. - 11/9/2007 10:37:45 PM   
lilsubl


Posts: 4595
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline 		a number of years ago, i got very depressed & found a therapist who agreed to see me for free, since my depression had lost me my job & i had no money...after i got better & went to work, i continued to see her...one day, i suggested that now that i was earning money, it might be time for me to start paying her...she said that if i felt the need to do that, i could, but that she was ok with seeing me for nothing cause she enjoyed me as a patient...i ended up seeing her weekly for about a year & a half...sometimes, people just do good things......

_____________________________

Linea, collarded pet of the evil Sir Max & his lovely & equally evil wife


it's no fun unless you're scared

if you can't be brave, be determined & you'll get to the same place

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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: My psychiatrist is against the Master. - 11/9/2007 10:39:44 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Well, I guess all the good shrinks who don't ask for money are in the Midwest then! Lucky you ran into a good one.

(in reply to lilsubl)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: My psychiatrist is against the Master. - 11/9/2007 10:43:30 PM   
lilsubl


Posts: 4595
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline 		geography's not my strong suit either, but Oregon's out on the west coast...or is it midwest cause it's between Washington & California, making it kind of the middle of the west coast?? 

_____________________________

Linea, collarded pet of the evil Sir Max & his lovely & equally evil wife


it's no fun unless you're scared

if you can't be brave, be determined & you'll get to the same place

wannabe member of the subbi mafia

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: My psychiatrist is against the Master. - 11/9/2007 10:49:00 PM   
MissSCD


Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline 		I have to add some more input to this one.   There are many agencies that provide counseling to people on an income based scale.   There is noting strange about it.
Second my shrink prooved his was good during this last episode when I threatened to blow up his office if I did not get an appointment.  I cannot believe I did that, and I am not proud of it, but he handled it.  He was not taking my side that day.
Now, in closing on this issue something bothered me in a comment about how they had been seeing a doctor ( I hope) for years and they did not change this person.  It is not their job to change us.  They just give us tools to make it easier for us to help ourselves.  Yes we make mistakes.  Yes we have to take responsibility for them as well.  The main thing I have learned is there are many bumps in the road out there. 
Seeking medical help is cruical to helping someone. 
 
Regards, MissSCD

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: My psychiatrist is against the Master. - 11/9/2007 10:53:19 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I didn't say it was anything but strange.  I'm not a psychiatrist and I don't play one on tv.  I have, however, worked FOR psychiatrists, psychologists, and other levels of mental health professionals for years.  Advising them on how to run their practices most efficiently, how to get their billing done correctly, all of the "business" side of mental health.  Seeing patients for free is MUCH more common among the lower levels than at the MD level.  Not saying it never happens, saying it is very uncommon.  And many times, the provider either sees the patient for free or not at all. For instance, if a patient has Medicaid, but the provider doesn't take it, then the provider can see the patient for free but NOT for cash.  That is just one example.

I'm betting whoever is responsible for your psychiatrist's business would rather have you pay $20 or so a pop than nothing at all.  Support staff ALWAYS recommends/advises/begs the doctors to just practice medicine, and stay out of the business side of it.

Cali

(in reply to lilsubl)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: My psychiatrist is against the Master. - 11/9/2007 10:55:14 PM   
MissSCD


Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline 		CalifChick:

Were you referring to my post? 

I hope not.

Regards, MissSCD

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Profile   Post #: 50
RE: My psychiatrist is against the Master. - 11/9/2007 10:56:29 PM   
smilingjaguar


Posts: 271
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: smilingjaguar

I'm nuts.  I'm not ashamed of it.


I have a couple of nuts....... does that count?


In my world, definitely.  Thanks for the laugh.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: My psychiatrist is against the Master. - 11/9/2007 10:57:37 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Nope, something several posts back.  I wasn't inferring anything sexual (I think that was the reference), just strange.

Cali

(in reply to MissSCD)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: My psychiatrist is against the Master. - 11/9/2007 11:03:45 PM   
Aceton


Posts: 97
Joined: 9/2/2007
Status: offline 		Just to clarify, I wasn't saying that shrinks who see people for free are always dodgy. I was saying that in this case, where he apparently sees her solely because she is such a fascinating person, it seems highly unlikely that all is in order. Either the shrink is potentially way out of line, or the op is sugar coating things in a pretty ego driven way.

I am familiar with free psych services for those who are in financial need and experiencing hardship... but never free psych services for the simply fascinating...

It would be pretty awesome if the world worked that way though, you could just pop into a hairdresser, charm them with a witty story, and get yer hair did before you go off to get your head read for free too...

(in reply to lilsubl)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: My psychiatrist is against the Master. - 11/9/2007 11:05:17 PM   
secretagentgirl


Posts: 70
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline 		Just objectively, I would guess that the shrink thinks it is important to you since you mentioned that your preference is to have affection.
I think anyone would feel valid in guessing that you will come to be dissatisfied in the relationship, logically speaking.

But logic doesn't always apply to relationships.  Each person has their own strengths and weaknesses and ways of showing attention and affection.  It's not all a list you match them up against.  My signif other cannot stand to be touched while he's sleeping... it just bothers him.  Whereas I would like to snuggle up during the night.  doesn't mean we're not a good fit.  There are plenty of other things that make up for it so I can deal with it.

I worry more about him not spending the time with you that you want.  That is what can start to make you feel uncertain and cause relationship issues.


(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: My psychiatrist is against the Master. - 11/10/2007 4:33:38 AM   
Squeakers


Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline 		kittty, based on what you said, I totally understand where your 'shrink' (god I detest that label) is coming from.   You said, your master was not highly affectionate, but your other boyfriends were and you liked it, but it's okay that your master is not.   I am not a 'shrink' but I would wonder why it was okay for someone like affection, not get it and still be okay with it.   It sort of sounds to me, just my thoughts, that you do sort of want more affection but are okay with not getting it because he is the Master and you feel perhaps it is not your place to ask for it.  

KnightofMists  I totally got your point in the following quote and I agree 

quote:

............ of course... If she is Mentally fucked up... would she be able to come to a honest sense of self-awareness?
   That is such a good point and it's really a shame that you got so much flaming for it.   You said 'IF'.   In no place did you slam her directly or imply that anyone who gets professional help is mentally fucked up.   But you are totally right that sometimes a mental illness can  impact one's ability to think clearly.    I personally don't think Mentally fucked up is even a negative term.   I have days where I am more mentally fucked up than other's and on those days no, I do not have a honest sense of self-awareness.  Anyways---me---mentally fucked up 25% of the time and no offense taken from me Knight.  
    As for getting mental health for free---I do and I have awesome insurance.    I get it for free because where I live if you were the victim of a reported crime, you can obtain these services for free.   It saves me the copay my insurance would charge and that copay would add up rather quickly even though the copay is relatively cheap.

< Message edited by Squeakers -- 11/10/2007 4:35:29 AM >

(in reply to kitttty)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: My psychiatrist is against the Master. - 11/10/2007 4:55:58 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		If what you want is a relationship that will last the rest of your life, he's correct. This isn't it.

If however you aren't ready yet for a permanent relationship, tell him that.

But yes, if you need someone who wants to spend as much time with you as you do with him, if you need someone who loves to touch and caress you, this isn't the right man. He may be the right man for right now though. And if that's all that you want now, tell the psychiatrist that you know this relationship isn't going anywhere but it's fun for the moment and that's all you're interested in right now.

As long as you're aware of the fact that this man isn't meeting enough of your needs for a long lasting relationship, that should be enough for the doc. His fear is that you'll get into a relationship where you'll be majorly unhappy for a long time. But if you're not really compatible, then you need to admit it to yourself.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: My psychiatrist is against the Master. - 11/10/2007 5:12:59 AM   
Cyntilating


Posts: 581
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

I do not have boyfriends anymore- not since Master.

My shrink does not recommend meds for me although he is an MD. He does not believe I have a neurochemical problem.

I do not pay my shrink. Sometimes I try and offer a nominal sum, but in he basically sees me for free as he finds me an interesting patient.

 
Kittty
   you wrote:
{Master sees me at least once a week and on those times he spends the night or an entire day with me, but he does not seem to want to see me every other day.    I read this as something you DO want but he is not giving you.


I feel fine for now though.  And I read this as a compromising statement.  }
 
Your posts are often talking about the problems and dissatisfaction you have in your relationship  and so IF you are talking with this Dr about these same  concerns ( and I would assume more since he IS your dr and not a chat forum)  > It would certainly be cause for him to think you are not fulfilled in that relationship..
 
why would you feel it a surprise that he thinks you need more from a person you want to be committed to??

I see those feelings in your own posts here.
perhaps you are afraid to want more? to expect more?
 
Sometimes the questions we are asking others are the ones we really need to be asking ourselves>
and the only answer that really matters is the "HONEST" one we give ourselves.
You reject/question the opinion your dr is giving you because its not correct? or because he is suggesting something you are not willing or ready to deal with yet ?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 



_____________________________

Cyndi

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to kitttty)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: My psychiatrist is against the Master. - 11/10/2007 5:37:21 AM   
susie


Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kitttty

My shrink is a good one. He's given me some sound medical advice before. He knows about Master, but has never (and still has not) placed a value judgment against my relationship.

The reason he thinks my relationship i flawed for me is because I noted that Master is not highly affectionate in the sense that he does not hold me or kiss me on the lips everytime he sees me, nor does he seem to see me as much as he has time for. Master sees me at least once a week and on those times he spends the night or an entire day with me, but he does not seem to want to see me every other day yet.

I told me shrink that my vanilla boyfriends had been highly affectionate and that I liked the physical affection.

I don't think I feel a lack of affection from Master since the times he does hold and kiss me are so meaningful to me. But my shrink thinks I am lying to myself if I believe I want to spend the rest of my life with someone who does not demonstrate a ton of affection.

I feel fine for now though.


You feel fine for now though? And yet this is the Master you are so desperate to marry. It seems to me that from this and previous posts you still have a "rose tinted" view of relationships and marriage. Why do you want to spend the rest of your life with this person? Saying "I feel fine for now though" assumes that you think something will change in his behaviour. Word of warning.... Never ever go into a relationship with the idea that you will change the other person. It does not work. Look at the relationship you have with him now and ask yourself if his behaviour as it is now will be enough for you in years to come. If not then he is not the right one for you.


(in reply to kitttty)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: My psychiatrist is against the Master. - 11/10/2007 5:52:25 AM   
wisteriaV


Posts: 438
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline 		I read through all the posts. Ultimately its you that has to decide whats right for you. I go by if it feels right in your mind, heart and soul than its a winner. One question and I do not expect an answer...what is it that you share with your Psychiatrist  that he finds so fasinating about you??? I personally think theres a professional line that has been crossed and it doesn't have to do with fees and paying him either.

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Every story has two sides , much like a coin and neither one is totally perfect.
If it doesn't float your boat, then don't get in the water~!

(in reply to susie)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: My psychiatrist is against the Master. - 11/10/2007 6:32:13 AM   
MistressFaye1


Posts: 276
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		Bottomline here, Only you know when you've had enough and when you have, no matter how long it takes, then and only then will you leave or do something to make your situation better.

As for free help---Speaking from My days in the mental health field, I have worked with clients that were totally fasinating because of their complexities, how they present, or for some other reason.  I've worked with some of them for free because I learned from them and at times learned something about Myself.

How else are new theories developed if someone isn't totally fasinated by certian types of cases and they are willing to work with them for free?

Unless he is crossing the line here by acting in an inappropriate manner, he hasn't done anything unethical.  Being fasinated by a client and stating it, isn't wrong unless he's doing it in a way that leads the client to repeat negative behaviors just to hear about them for their own sick pleasure.  Now that would be a problem and I didn't get that is an issue in this case.

Ms.  Faye
Mistress to jeff


< Message edited by MistressFaye1 -- 11/10/2007 6:35:50 AM >

_____________________________

You can put away your masquerade
You won't ever have to be afraid of Me
Open up your eyes and see what is in store
I must the One that you are searching for.

(in reply to wisteriaV)
Profile   Post #: 60
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