"Fake" accusations

"Fake" accusations (Full Version)

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Kalari -> "Fake" accusations (11/10/2007 1:16:04 AM)
Hello all. I have a problem that I took very lightly at first, but it is beginning to become a problem and I feel the need to reach out for help. I want to begin by saying that I am a collared submissive. I am happy in my relationship, which has lasted for three months now. And I understand that some people here just don't take the time to read profiles, and that is why they try to demand things of me or ask me to meet them. When this happens, I am always very polite and take great care in responding and letting them know my situation. There have been four instances now, however, in which people accuse me of being "fake" after I inform them that I am collared. Three Doms have accused me of being a man posing as a woman, and one Domme has accused me of having a "fake owner." The latter also was quite upset with me and told me that I shouldn't be on the site at all if I were not seeking. But I consider this a community, not a dating service. I've been in the lifestyle from a young age and I've always felt that I could find refuge and comfort within the like-minded people that I find both here and in my community back home. Am I wrong for thinking this way? In my profile, I am seeking "friends only" and nothing else, and in the text I not only say that I am collared but I reference His screenname as well. I am not leading anyone on... But is there something that I can do to make my reasons for being here more clear? Or are these Masters and Mistresses correct in saying that I should leave if I'm not available? Thank you so much for your time. This has been bothering me for a while now. Blessings, and hugs. ~Rowan

Estring -> RE: "Fake" accusations (11/10/2007 1:20:08 AM)
Why not just enjoy your life? You are giving alot of power to strangers.

ownedgirlie -> RE: "Fake" accusations (11/10/2007 1:20:16 AM)
There is room for everyone on this site. Lots of us are owned here. Ignore the fools and enjoy your time here :)

BitaTruble -> RE: "Fake" accusations (11/10/2007 1:22:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kalari But is there something that I can do to make my reasons for being here more clear? Or are these Masters and Mistresses correct in saying that I should leave if I'm not available? ~Rowan you are young and cute and they cannot have you. it is called sour grapes. block and delete and do not give them another thought. celeste

shootingstar67 -> RE: "Fake" accusations (11/10/2007 1:22:01 AM)
I don't have a profile at all because I am not available. Not collared so I would probably have at least the same problems as you if not more. I am thinking about making a profile so the members of this board can check it out and at least know if they are responding to male or female/submissive or domme...etc. But it might just be better to put some infomation in the signature rather then make a profile.

mya75 -> RE: "Fake" accusations (11/10/2007 1:23:15 AM)
What you have experienced is more than common here...Simply put some people cant take rejection you just have to block them and move on......No their not correct regardless of what your profile states if you feel the site is right for you and you arent breaking any TOS ..then just block & block and enjoy the site and forums..

MaamJay -> RE: "Fake" accusations (11/10/2007 1:23:34 AM)
No, you're not in the wrong, they are! It's OK to be here as part of a community, to make some friends. Unfortunately those who get caught up in the "Search" and may have been bitten by some "real fakes" (now that's an interesting oxymoron LOL!), tend to tar all with the same brush. Try not to take it too personally and the IGNORE button can be your best friend! Hang around on the boards more than "on the other side" ... if someone posts something that resonates with you, pm them on the other side and you'll have a much better chance of striking up a meaningful friendship! Maam Jay aka violet[A]

MissMagnolia -> RE: "Fake" accusations (11/10/2007 1:23:56 AM)
EVERYONE has a right to be here, subs, collared or not, D's, switches, blah, blah, blah. As far as I know, there isn't a selection criteria on joining. Your profile is extremely clear, I don't know which bit they have a problem understanding. I wouldn't bother with a nice reply to them. Tell them to fuck off.[:D] Edited to add, we ALL get narky emails, so don't feel singled out.

TankII7871 -> RE: "Fake" accusations (11/10/2007 1:47:03 AM)
They say it takes all kinds. Which brings to mind 2 questions to me. 1 Just who in the hell are they? 2. Dose it really take all kinds? Arnt there a few we could do with out ? Seriously Kalari its simple pay them no mind they arnt part of your life so what they think has no value to you . As my Buddy always says "I don't know you I don't owe you so fuck off" Eric

Kalari -> Thank you (11/10/2007 2:36:09 AM)
Thanks to everyone for your quick responses. I know I can be too passive sometimes...I've been called out on it more than once. Thank you for giving me the strength to grow my own backbone. haha. I'll do my best not to be afraid of the "Ignore" button. And yes MaamJay, I will take your advice and make more friends from the forums. There seem to be much kinder (and more intelligent!) people here.

twistedwillow -> RE: Thank you (11/10/2007 2:48:04 AM)
What everyone so far has said, is good advice imo. Regardless of what your here for, you have to explain yourself to no one but you yourself. Don't let those people ruin your stay here. And welcome to the forum twisted

LadyHugs -> RE: "Fake" accusations (11/10/2007 2:58:57 AM)
Dear Kalari, Ladies and Gentlemen, In any aspect of the lifestyle or BDSM; there will be those who will accuse another individual as being fake this or that, a threat to the lifestyle, etc. Even on the forums you may/could be exposed to the same ugly behavior of individuals. I find that no matter what you are, what you say and what you do; someone will have to say something negative and or deliver their negative message/statement/stand in a very ugly manner. Nobody is a perfect fit for everybody and some don't see another person's way as 'true' or 'real' but their way. I do get a bit of a chuckle out of someone who is across the nation or the world, never met me and or read any of my materials, attended any of the presentations and or demonstrations I have given and or met my slaves; call me fake, not 'true' or not 'real.' It is usually out of frustration they attack a person and not remain on an issue and or topic. My personal philosophy is to maintain my position and know all I can control is myself--not others. When you are able to look yourself in the mirror and know you are true to yourself and are being real and honest with yourself and your relationship with others--let the others have their sour notes, stomp and have a public tirade like children who cannot have their way and or have to have the last word--its a control issue; not a matter of strength and or position of strength. Worry only about your world--and see the positives and not just the negatives. Just some thoughts. Respectfully submitted for consideration, Lady Hugs

batshalom -> RE: "Fake" accusations (11/10/2007 3:55:37 AM)
Look at the bright side! You'll get more of those e-mails! ~chuckle~ I'm going to start collecting mine so that I can quilt them, use them as a blanket in which to wrap Aba and me, pressing against each other's warm naked skin and wrapping this "quilt of fakes" around our little sickening smoochy jokes, using it as cover for our private play, while they are still sending complaining e-mails to people they don't know and will never meet.

kc692 -> RE: "Fake" accusations (11/10/2007 4:12:57 AM)
To the OP: the others are right, it is sour grapes, especially since they had to use grey matter to read the profile(or not, lol) and are pissed they were supposed to think. I would not even reply to the initial email if it looks like they did not read the collared part and are looking for something other than friends only.

smilezz -> RE: "Fake" accusations (11/10/2007 4:46:16 AM)
I get that all the time too Kalari. If i don't have a web cam or use a messenger client i HAVE to be fake, i HAVE to be a man.....why would i not want to prove that to others. LOL! That is why they have STOOPID written all over their face. Honestly, don't let it bother you....they are the fools....and they know it. >smirks< Happy Saturday! ~smilezz~

PsyVamp -> RE: "Fake" accusations (11/10/2007 5:42:20 AM)
Don't worry, we Dominants get the same types of emails. It seems that some people suffer from the "one true way"ism - When we don't do what they like or act like their perfect picture of a Dom/Sub, we immediately get called "fakes". Just ignore them like the others said and be glad you aren't with one of those people who walk through life with blinders on. Lady Jag (Psy)

LaTigresse -> RE: Thank you (11/10/2007 5:51:12 AM)
Kalari, no one from here, that only knows of you through a few of your typed words on a computer screen, really knows YOU. They have no effect on you in your daily life. They don't pay your wages, they don't sit across from the dinner table with you, they are not the ones that are there for you when you want to celebrate something wonderful or need a shoulder to cry on. That being said, their opinion means squat. Every time I get a comment that is personal, about be, directed towards me, via the net. Either here on collarme, or in any other venue, I am reminded of a signature line of one of our members. I know I won't get it perfectly right but it goes something like this. "Hi, I don't care." There may be more to it, I don't even remember who it belongs to or if they still have it. But it sums up so perfectly, in just a few words, the amount of influence I allow bad attitudinal pixels on a screen, to have over me and my life. None!

wisteriaV -> RE: Thank you (11/10/2007 5:55:57 AM)
Dont take anything negative that anyone says here to you. Its a waste of your postitive energy and its there loss because your probably a really neat person![;)]

kc692 -> RE: Thank you (11/10/2007 6:44:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse Kalari, no one from here, that only knows of you through a few of your typed words on a computer screen, really knows YOU. They have no effect on you in your daily life. They don't pay your wages, they don't sit across from the dinner table with you, they are not the ones that are there for you when you want to celebrate something wonderful or need a shoulder to cry on. That being said, their opinion means squat. Every time I get a comment that is personal, about be, directed towards me, via the net. Either here on collarme, or in any other venue, I am reminded of a signature line of one of our members. I know I won't get it perfectly right but it goes something like this. "Hi, I don't care." There may be more to it, I don't even remember who it belongs to or if they still have it. But it sums up so perfectly, in just a few words, the amount of influence I allow bad attitudinal pixels on a screen, to have over me and my life. None! It was/is SirKenin's.... By the way yall, I just had to finally confess......I'm fake!!!![:D]

Vanatru -> RE: Thank you (11/10/2007 7:02:59 AM)
kalari, whatever works for you and your dom is ok. It's clearly stated that you are only looking for friends in your "Actively Seaking" criteria and in your profile. Think about this for a second, a person would only bring up your name if they didn't include what you're seeking in their criteria and THEN ignored what shows in your profile in the general search window, let alone your full profile. If they don't bother even reading what shows clearly on the general search (which clearly shows the top of your profile), that's on THEM for being illiterate louses and not on you. It's not uncommon for these idiots to still write to people that clearly state they are owned etc anyways, and to get all bent about you not being available. The best thing, like others said, put em on ignore when they send their first email, and then they can't bother you further. You absolutely have a right to enjoy CM and look for friends here. CM isn't just some kind of dating service after all.

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