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I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? - 11/12/2007 7:48:54 AM   
Titan1


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/18/2007
Status: offline 		Dear Mistresses I have been on the site for several weeks. I believe my profile is acceptable, respectful and to the point. I see Lady's perusing the site quite often. I will apply to serve, but it seems that there is no interest. Though I have not posted my photo on the site, I do send one with my request. Is there something more I can do to attract a Mistress?  
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? - 11/12/2007 8:32:43 AM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		Are you against posting a pic? if not that would help.  Unfortunately since male subs are pretty common here, you have bit of a long wait.  (there are some people on here who have been looking for years.)  Some advice that may help you in your search: connect with your local community, go to as many events as your community offers. post here on the message boards as often as you can.  I have had countless people contact me because of something I posted.  bonus points if you display that you are polite,thoughtful and humorous.  lastly but certainly not least, have patience!

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to Titan1)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? - 11/12/2007 8:36:01 AM   
Titan1


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/18/2007
Status: offline 		Dear LadyLynx:
Thank You for Your advise. 

(in reply to LadyLynx)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? - 11/12/2007 8:51:44 AM   
MystressDream


Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Titan1

Dear Mistresses I have been on the site for several weeks. I believe my profile is acceptable, respectful and to the point. I see Lady's perusing the site quite often. I will apply to serve, but it seems that there is no interest. Though I have not posted my photo on the site, I do send one with my request. Is there something more I can do to attract a Mistress?  


I am one who is looking for someone like you.  Unfortunately, I am in Colorado.  <smile>  I would not have noticed your profile because I have my filters set to only show profiles with pictures.  That could be one of the problems.  So, if I were you, I would take the advice LadyLynx gave you seriously.
 
Good luck out there, and be patient.  Some have been looking for years for that special connection. 

_____________________________

Knowledge and experience are wonderful things to share. When we stop asking questions, we might as well "hang it up".

check out: www.enclaveproductions.com
www.enclavewest.com

(in reply to Titan1)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? - 11/12/2007 9:09:02 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline 		I too missed seeing you because of a lack of photo.  We're less than 100 miles away from one another.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to Titan1)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? - 11/12/2007 9:53:03 AM   
stockingluvr54


Posts: 673
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline 		It may take awhile? 5+ yrs for me and not even a coffee date. Patience, patience, patience..... Try not to let your frustration show in your communications (which I've been guilty of lately).....

good luck

(in reply to Titan1)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? - 11/12/2007 9:53:16 AM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		titan > this is more the view point on the submissive side and my experiances on collar me .I have been on this site for Years ,i do not search through endless profiles and mail them . i search and sometimes chat with  local s .Thats not to say i have not met some Great people  world wide through this site and met some of  them at events in which i travel to .I have tried several times to submit a picture  for a profile  and have been rejected so i gave up and if some request it after some kinda repore is established a picture can be sent .I wonder how many Female Tops spend the time to wade through all the sub/slave people and contact them?I think the best thing i ever did was STOP LOOKING  ,often the things we want come to us when we stop try'n so hard to attain them .Just because i have stopped looking and not making it a fulltime job does not mean i do not still wish to have a Mistress .I am envolved in the local community and get to as many events and parties and gatherings as i can with much better result .If and when A Domme shows intrest in me and something grows between us my search shall be over but i shall not sit online and wait or get bulked trashed in the masses .I know the desire to have one you may address as Mistress ,that said one maybe seeking you right down the street you just have to get offline once in a while and meet her locally go to a munch a party an event etc.I know many Dommes on here and they tell me about the  sheer #'s of mail the get  some great some creepy as one pointed out here the supply and demand factor 10 bazillion subs , slaves ,bottoms ,few Dommes that do not already have a stable or looking .After reading the postings on the message boards there are some Amazing  Dommes and people here be yourself and maybe one day that will be also said of you after people see who you are.
Best wishes upon your path and journey.

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? - 11/12/2007 11:19:19 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stockingluvr54

It may take awhile? 5+ yrs for me and not even a coffee date. Patience, patience, patience..... Try not to let your frustration show in your communications (which I've been guilty of lately).....

good luck



Well if you moved the hell away from BFE, who KNOWS what could happen! <G>

To the OP:  a picture really does speak a thousand words.  A nice picture of your smiling face. 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to stockingluvr54)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? - 11/12/2007 11:51:54 AM   
LaMistressa


Posts: 460
Joined: 12/4/2006
Status: offline 		Several weeks is a short time, beleive it or not. You would not have appeared in any of my searches because of the lack of a photo, so even if it's just a torso shot, post a picture. Also, if you are in northern NJ, get active in your local scene (I feel like I say that with every post) -- meeting people in person will open up a lot of doors for you. Good luck with your search! 

(in reply to Titan1)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? - 11/12/2007 2:08:03 PM   
KaramelGoddess


Posts: 404
Joined: 6/20/2006
Status: offline 		I often take a peek at the profiles of people who have posted on the forums.  If you post more often that could get you a bit more attention.
 
All the previous advice works well too!
 
Edited to add:  I just got home from NJ too!! Dangit!!

 
~Kara

< Message edited by KaramelGoddess -- 11/12/2007 2:10:56 PM >

_____________________________

"Never eat more than you can lift." ~ Miss Piggy

(in reply to Titan1)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? - 11/12/2007 3:03:02 PM   
unravel


Posts: 90
Joined: 9/3/2007
Status: offline 		As azropedntied wrote, sometimes there is a virtue to stop looking to actually let things come to you.
Good luck to you! On the whole, keep in mind it is very much likely a better outcome if you wait much linger but find the "right fit" Dominant for you, rather than find one right away that is not a "good fit:)
unravel

(in reply to Titan1)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? - 11/12/2007 3:23:14 PM   
ItalianSMistress


Posts: 427
Joined: 1/19/2007
From: Niagara Region Ontario Canada
Status: offline 		Are you reading the full profile of the Domme you are messaging?  I know that two things that turn Me off a message right away are
1. If it is clear from that message that they never bothered to read My profile
2. A long message that is obviously a copy and paste and sent to many Dommes
 
Just a suggestion for you

_____________________________

Governess

"Dominance is the ability to create a hunger in someone that's so strong they will do anything, anytime, anywhere just to please you."


http://italianmistress.livejournal.com/


(in reply to unravel)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? - 11/12/2007 3:29:17 PM   
DiannaVesta


Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline 		A photo will help plus it takes time. Hang in there.

_____________________________



(in reply to ItalianSMistress)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? - 11/12/2007 3:30:04 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		If you are only looking online I think your chances are very small.

Think of it this way.

Notice how difficult it can be for some people to find vanilla partners.
Now add in kinks.
Now add in compatible kinks plus compatible vanilla issues.

It's even more difficult for some people.

Get involved in the meatlife world of kink. Start learning and having fun. That will get you notice plus while you're learning and having fun you won't be thinking about finding a partner so the time passes more quickly.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Titan1)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? - 11/12/2007 6:12:08 PM   
youngsubgeoff


Posts: 900
Joined: 9/25/2007
From: The Asylum
Status: offline 		allright, other advice on here is good. also, try writing in your journal. What kind of music are you into? what gets you going? what do you do for fun?

Also, one very ironic thing Ive found: When you decide to stop looking, thats when things start to happen it seems. Less than 1 month after deciding I wasnt looking for someone, just going to stay involbed in the community, -bang- Im getting emails left and right.

So, basically, what Im saying is this: chill. Relax and have fun. 

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? - 11/12/2007 6:25:29 PM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline 		What everyone else said and also....when you email...do you write something personal just to them?, do you cut and paste?   Is it just a one liner?

Sometimes it's in your approach as well.  If someone sends me a one liner or obviously didn't read my profile I give them a polite no thank you and move on. 

You can have the best profile in the world and have the hottest pic, but if your approach is not good you won't get any where

Just my opinion of course  :>

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....



(in reply to Titan1)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? - 11/12/2007 7:00:51 PM   
LadyLegs


Posts: 176
Status: offline 		I agree you need to get out there & show your face real time.  I did email the name of a place in your area that you might like.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? - 11/12/2007 7:13:01 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Titan1

Dear Mistresses I have been on the site for several weeks. I believe my profile is acceptable, respectful and to the point. I see Lady's perusing the site quite often. I will apply to serve, but it seems that there is no interest. Though I have not posted my photo on the site, I do send one with my request. Is there something more I can do to attract a Mistress?  


Definitly post a picture. :)

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e


(in reply to Titan1)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? - 11/13/2007 5:01:15 AM   
Oumae


Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline 		Just want to reiterate about going to real life events.  I know here in Ireland we could do with more male subs in their 40's going to real life events,  wish a few of the regular posters here would move!

Good luck,

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to Titan1)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: I'm not sure what I am doing wrong? - 11/13/2007 10:52:07 AM   
stockingluvr54


Posts: 673
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus



Well if you moved the hell away from BFE, who KNOWS what could happen! <G>



Ahhhh LadyH.....  But I LOVE BFE....no shit! (waves from afar...isn't that how we did it?)... take care now!

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 20
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