RE: Sex and the Sub

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Sex and the Sub

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Sex and the Sub

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/13/2007 7:37:48 AM

joanus

Posts: 527
Joined: 2/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroque

I do not do first meets - no where near.

Oh no. Anyone who I would have sex with has to be known, trusted and wear protection.
( joanus' hopes seem to be getting slimmer)

LOL while I agress sex on the first time is a little aprehencas, I would think any one would have sex with some one thay didn't know. And safe sex is only commen sence.

(in reply to Baroque)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/13/2007 9:15:29 AM

FullfigRIMaam

Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ItalianSMistress
I did not realize that so many Dommes did have sex with their boys, personally I have never. I have always looked at it as too aggressive for a slave to fuck their Owner. I dont see anything wrong with it, if the Domme wants it, she has every right to take it, I just did not think it happened so often. Its not that I find it Undomme like by the women, its more that I find it unslave like for the males.

I wonder if it has anything to do with this:

I prefer slaves that are very very submissive and docile, so, having sex with Me would not even be something that they would desire to do, bc like I said, its too aggressive an act for them

What if you are on top? Make it more domely for yourself if you need by tying him up and than taking him? I would suppose a lady either has to hate sex, or be into poly/cuckoldry, where she brings men specifically for sex to avoid the intercourse with sub/slave altogether, with which nothing is wrong.
For myself, there is no time, desire, or room in my life for multiple men relationships. Besides that, I decide what is dominant based on my desire to get/have it from my submissive/slave. M

< Message edited by FullfigRIMaam -- 11/13/2007 9:16:12 AM >

_____________________________

"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." Erich Fromm

(in reply to ItalianSMistress)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/13/2007 9:26:45 AM

Shawn1066

Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

See, I'm actually a very prudish person.

I don't believe in an exchange of body fluids (or the potential of it) unless there is love involved.

Second, I don't believe in playing the odds when it comes to pregnancy so I don't do intercourse at all because we do not want children.

So if sex is only intercourse, then I've only done that consensually with two men in my entire life -- non-consensually would raise that number to 3.

If sex is any activity where you could exchange body fluid even without risk of pregnancy then the numbers are higher but each of those men I loved and I believe loved me.

It's good to know I'm not the only prude on this board... :-p

Along with everybody esle, I think your topic would have been better recieved if it wasn't worded like a bad SNL skit. Of course some Dommes love having sex with their pets, but would shouldn't expect sex or just be submissive in order to get sex. That's just wrong, imo.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/13/2007 9:35:47 AM

TNstepsout

Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

To bone or not to bone? What a dilemma.

What a terrible thing to do to that poor Domme who was just doing you a favor. Here she is, out of the goodness of her heart, giving you a nice Birthday beating and you couldn't even keep your cuteness under control.

Disgusting.

(in reply to Shawn1066)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/13/2007 9:37:41 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Put me in the ranks of those who almost never have sex with their boys. It just goes against the chain of command for me, and feels wrong. I've done it in the past, and it was okay for awhile, but as the slave relationship deepened, the sex became ghastly. And what's the point of that?

This isn't to say that I won't try again someday, but I am very cautious about who I fluid-bond with, and I have pretty spectacular self control.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/13/2007 9:38:59 AM

MystressDream

Posts: 345
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Colorado
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shawn1066

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

See, I'm actually a very prudish person.

I don't believe in an exchange of body fluids (or the potential of it) unless there is love involved.

Second, I don't believe in playing the odds when it comes to pregnancy so I don't do intercourse at all because we do not want children.

So if sex is only intercourse, then I've only done that consensually with two men in my entire life -- non-consensually would raise that number to 3.

If sex is any activity where you could exchange body fluid even without risk of pregnancy then the numbers are higher but each of those men I loved and I believe loved me.

It's good to know I'm not the only prude on this board... :-p

Along with everybody esle, I think your topic would have been better recieved if it wasn't worded like a bad SNL skit. Of course some Dommes love having sex with their pets, but would shouldn't expect sex or just be submissive in order to get sex. That's just wrong, imo.

The boy obviously doesn't listen.... he has made two more posts and both are having to await approval before CM will even let them show up. LOL

I agree with what you have said, shawn... the OP's initial wording is so crass it is an immediate turn off for me. But then, I am of the same opinion as TammyJo in this whole topic.

_____________________________

Knowledge and experience are wonderful things to share. When we stop asking questions, we might as well "hang it up".

check out: www.enclaveproductions.com
www.enclavewest.com

(in reply to Shawn1066)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/13/2007 10:37:36 AM

rubberpet

Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline

If Mistress chooses to have sex with me, it is for one of two reasons. She either loves me and wants to share that part of Herself with me or that is the way She wants me to be of service to Her. I have served other dommes before and it was non-sexual service. They were good friends, and while I found them to be attractive, I wasn't going after sex. I didn't want to have sex with them. If I wasn't with Mistress, I'd certainly enjoy playing with them again. Once again, just play...no sex. I only want to have sex with my domme if we are in a commited, monogamous, romantic, D/s relationship where we both understood what sexual relations meant to us. Sex is very precious to me, so I only want it to be with the one I love. Do I expect it when I'm with Her? No, but am I wrong for hoping for it because it is an expression of my love for Her?

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.

(in reply to MystressDream)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/13/2007 11:16:30 AM

PhoenixRed

Posts: 174
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline

Great post, rubberpet. I only take subs that I am attracted to and would consider as partners if they weren't in a D/s dynamic with me. None of my subs expect sex with me, and most times it won't happen. However, every once and a while, when the mood strikes me..... I don't see anything wrong with them serving in that capacity either. Some I can do that withand the D/s dynamic is unaffected; some I cannot, because it would blur the lines of control with them. Each sub on an individual basis. I have a wonderful mate, so I am not hurting for sex, believe me! lol My mate is the only man I'm fluid bonded with. There are ways for men to be put in a submissive position for sex, though, and it is humbling for them once they experience it. Learning that they are not always in control, even in sexual relations is a good lesson, I think!

_____________________________

Everyone deserves a break from the person everyone else expects them to be.
In the great experiment known as evolution, evidently there are some people who's ancestors were in the control group.

(in reply to rubberpet)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/13/2007 11:45:11 AM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

See if I had a sub and I was horny damn strait I'd fuck him. It w*ould however be on my terms, and they'd sure know it was for my gratification, not theirs, and it was about me not them.

(in reply to rubberpet)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/13/2007 12:28:02 PM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

When should I fuck a sub?

If we're talking the pro side of things, never.

If we're talking the personal side of things, whenever I feel okay with doing so. Just like with non-PE potential sexual partners.

I do not engage in sexual contact with personal subs, either, 99% of the time. As other's have expressed it just "feels wrong" and undermines the power dynamic for me, personally. But the answer stays the same: whenever I feel it's okay to. If I feel it's okay with a certain person and situation, I don't agonize over The Way It Should Be or any such.

Basically because The Way It Should Be, as it applies to my life, is decided by me.

< Message edited by RumpusParable -- 11/13/2007 12:35:20 PM >

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Profile

Post #: 30

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/13/2007 1:06:51 PM

Bloodrose88

Posts: 42
Joined: 10/27/2007
Status: offline

My Mistress and I have never had sex. We are sensual with one another, but definitely even this is more about the power exchange than the body's reactions. Is it possible that we will have sex in the future? If she wills it, yes. We have discussed it as being something we would both be interested in when the time is right, but it is on the time of HER choosing, not mine. If, and when, we do have sex, it will be because she wishes to engage in that behavior with me. But, if she chooses to never do so, that is quite alright as well.
My advice...don't be so smug about being cute, and therefore irristible. Lots of people are "cute" and very easy to resist. Also, don't ask for sex. If she wants to, she will. But you asking for it, or even making comments concerning how you would like to is rather annoying, I would imagine.
Best of luck to you

(in reply to RumpusParable)

Profile

Post #: 31

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/13/2007 1:09:54 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ItalianSMistress

This was an interesting thread to read. I did not realize that so many Dommes did have sex with their boys, personally I have never. I have always looked at it as too aggressive for a slave to fuck their Owner. I dont see anything wrong with it, if the Domme wants it, she has every right to take it, I just did not think it happened so often. Its not that I find it Undomme like by the women, its more that I find it unslave like for the males.

I wonder if it has anything to do with this:

I prefer slaves that are very very submissive and docile, so, having sex with Me would not even be something that they would desire to do, bc like I said, its too aggressive an act for them. I know that some Dommes prefer a slave with a bit of spice, one that likes to show some resistance, so perhaps this is the type of slave that type of Domme would have sex with. Then again that could be My own twisted mind

Precisely. For those of us that enjoy full use of our subjects, we control the situation by commanding it. Whether he's on top as a wild untamed stallion or my obedient robot sex toy, he's mine and he's providing for my pleasure. There's no question as to who is controlling it, regardless of the position he faithfully delivers my sex in :-)

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to ItalianSMistress)

Profile

Post #: 32

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/13/2007 7:38:09 PM

Kirren

Posts: 580
Joined: 9/5/2007
Status: offline

IN all fairness, I was there for part of the session...and I know for a fact that she wanted to sleep with him, and I fully encouraged her to. She said I was living vicariously thru her, maybe, what ever...Im not into lil man like that. Hes cute for sure, but too Joey Lawrence for Me. Anyway....I think, in all honesty, that 1) how he says whats on his mind is not as important as what is on his mind. His question has validity and should be addressed not so much as the nature of the language he uses. We are all adults here, or so we say when we join, why be prudish about how some one chooses to term intercourse? Its all a matter of lingusitic schematics. Honestly. I didnt realize I was in a convent. and 2) Its nice to see a sub with some level of self awarness physically. I dont think I have seen that in some time. Honestly, they all go on about how small their cock is, or how they dont do this or that, most subs, at least the ones I seem to attract, have no real sense of self. So, I applaude joanus on that.

And in the end, he didnt get any...which I think was a total travesty of American Justice, as it was, after all, his 21st Birthday.

So, to you joanus, I think you should keep on keepin on, shes bound to cave how could she resist pink panties after all?

-winks-

To the question itself, It is a very personal choice as to if a Domme has sex with a sub. Even more so than if a woman has sex with a man, in the nilla world. We have more to look at and consider. For some subs, having sex with them deepens an emotional attachment, and in some cases, where the sub does not have a clear sense of self, (unlike you My pasty lil friend) they get attached too fast, expect too much, and get hurt when you dont call 100 times a day to say you love them, or what have you.

Sex is purely animal to some Domme's and I personally think thats awesome...I mean..honestly, its an emotional experience, I think Jim Morrison quoted Blake as saying..."Blake said that the body was the soul's prison unless the five senses are fully developed and open. He considered the senses the 'windows of the soul.' When sex involves all the senses intensely, it can be like a mystical experence."
I honestly couldnt agree more.
Thats why I love D/s. You can have sooo much more fun with something that is as total as a subs comitment to pleasing, instead of some inept ape laying on you rutting like a pig.

Just My personal opinion.

So, keep your head up kiddo. Dont let em beat you down for saying bone...I happen to like that term.

_____________________________

Everything has been said before
There's nothing left to say anymore
When it's all the same
You can ask for it by name

Did I fail to mention...I am a BITCH?

(in reply to Baroque)

Profile

Post #: 33

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/13/2007 7:42:11 PM

Kirren

Posts: 580
Joined: 9/5/2007
Status: offline

I really didnt realize that people in this life style were so judgemental.

_____________________________

Everything has been said before
There's nothing left to say anymore
When it's all the same
You can ask for it by name

Did I fail to mention...I am a BITCH?

(in reply to Kirren)

Profile

Post #: 34

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/13/2007 7:44:15 PM

Aswad

Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirren

I really didnt realize that people in this life style were so judgemental.

Welcome to this particular corner of the vanilla world...

Health,
al-Aswad.

_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.

(in reply to Kirren)

Profile

Post #: 35

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/13/2007 8:52:59 PM

FullfigRIMaam

Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad
Welcome to this particular corner of the vanilla world...

Health,
al-Aswad.

Good thing you're not judging us based on your perceptions and definitions.

This corner is where females who run the show hang, and if some women preferring respectful conversation is too vanilla/offensive to your edgier sensibilities, you can always see yourself out. M

_____________________________

"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." Erich Fromm

(in reply to Aswad)

Profile

Post #: 36

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/14/2007 1:05:08 AM

MsCfromMelbourne

Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood

I'm curious - why is it sex if a male penetrates a female, but not sex if a female penetrates a male with a strap on?

Both are sex in my opinion. I consider oral worship of Mistress, giving hand jobs (tie and tease) and forcing a sub to masturbate pretty much sex too.

Plenty of Dommes say they "don't have sex with subs", but they do all these things in their dungeons. I don't ask and I don't judge. People have very different definitions of sex to me.

But I am DYING of curiosity now!!!!

Those Dommes who do not have sex with subs, WHO do you have sex with? Surely not vanillas (of either gender)? Other Dominants?

< Message edited by MsCfromMelbourne -- 11/14/2007 1:15:19 AM >

_____________________________

<----- Corset, mask and collar designed and manufactured by metalsmith Karl H, chromed and lined in black suede. Masks and collars available from http://www.lucreziadesade.com.au/default.html. Corsets custom made only

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

Profile

Post #: 37

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/14/2007 1:42:57 AM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne
Those Dommes who do not have sex with subs, WHO do you have sex with? Surely not vanillas (of either gender)? Other Dominants?

Vanillas and fellow dominants.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)

Profile

Post #: 38

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/14/2007 2:11:20 AM

canupleaseme

Posts: 775
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline

In the past when I worked pro domme in a dungeon sex was never involved in play. Some cbt but no sexual release or stimulation other than painful. I had casual play partners after that and out of the 4 different people I played with fairly reguarly I only had sex with one of them and that was a fem sub and because it felt like the next obvious thing to do after playing. With my boy now we are in a commited relationship and I cant imagine not having sex with him. Its always on my terms he doesnt ask for it and I decide how we are doing it, I'd say its 50/50 as to who is on top. It doesnt make me feel any less dominant by having sex with him or make him seem any less submissive. He has paid attention to detail and is an excellent lover and I emjoy th fact that he has taken the time to get to know me and what I like.
I had a maid in the past (sissy) and there was absolutely no sexual contact whatsoever in fact she was chastised. I think It can work well either way and there is no right or wrong.
In the past when I had non sexual play partners I got my sexing from the vanillas lol

_____________________________

Proud mistress

(in reply to RumpusParable)

Profile

Post #: 39

RE: Sex and the Sub - 11/14/2007 4:48:39 AM

joanus

Posts: 527
Joined: 2/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirren

So, keep your head up kiddo. Dont let em beat you down for saying bone...I happen to like that term.

Thanks for the moral support Kirren, and I like that term to its kinda funny sounding....bone

I don't know what I would have done if I was alone with all these judgemental people...Oh wait yes I do I'd just ignore them like usual......ok screw it, the sarcastic mood isn't with me today.

Anywho Thanks its nice to know that I'm not the only person here who doesn't think Monocromaticly. YAY for Intalectual Prolifuration and Self Actualization. LOL Hows that for young and immature, that will send half of them running to the dictionary.

Also to those of you who didn't get the cute joke*(explained below) there is an old Mexican Proverb: If more than three people say your an ass, then your an ass.
So more than three people say Im cute, guess what that means.

* I act like I have a big ego and say Im cute and all, but I grew up with people calling me ugly, geeky, scranny, etc. So I dont really think Im all that good looking, I simply play the arogant egotistal angle to hide that fact. Great now I'm teaching Psych 101