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money and sexism in BDSM - 8/7/2005 7:51:44 PM   
thelight


Posts: 82
Joined: 7/31/2005
Status: offline 		I'm very new to tis community, but after browsing through profiles of female subs and Dommes alike, I noticed a common thread: quite a few are after a man's money.

If she is a Domme, she will say that she expects "tributes" from her slave. A sub will say she expects her master to "take care of her." However, I don't see any men, either subs or Doms, demanding tributes or that they be taken care of.

It seems to me, that if this is to be an egalitarian community, with differences based entirely upon role and not upon sex, then there should be some sort of standard to govern money issues. Either subs are taken care of, or Doms receive tribute, regardless of sex. Or better yet, money should not be involved at all.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/7/2005 8:08:09 PM   
MsIncognito


Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thelight

It seems to me, that if this is to be an egalitarian community,



This is an egalitarian community? Shit, why do I keep missing these memos? I'm so out of the loop.

(in reply to thelight)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/7/2005 8:16:12 PM   
tobius


Posts: 4
Joined: 7/21/2005
Status: offline 		I totally agree,money should not enter into it at all,on the other hand i always had the impression that a Master or Dom would somewhat look after his sub/slave.I new to the life style and have found a Master and Sir male couple(I am a gay male) that are looking for a sub/slave 24/7/365,we seem to get along very well but they tell me that I would have to contribute to the house hold and suport myself,basically I would pay room and board and earn my own spending money,now I am Ok with that,where else would I live for nothing and,I still retain a bit of independence!!!
sub/slave john

(in reply to thelight)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/7/2005 8:32:18 PM   
thelight


Posts: 82
Joined: 7/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsIncognito

quote:

ORIGINAL: thelight

It seems to me, that if this is to be an egalitarian community,



This is an egalitarian community? Shit, why do I keep missing these memos? I'm so out of the loop.



you only quoted half of my sentence. the way i see it, it should be egalitarian as regards to sex. dominant should be treated equally, regardless of sex. likewise with submissives.

(in reply to MsIncognito)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/7/2005 8:58:37 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsIncognito
quote:

ORIGINAL: thelight
It seems to me, that if this is to be an egalitarian community,

This is an egalitarian community? Shit, why do I keep missing these memos? I'm so out of the loop.

I missed it too damn it, always out of the loop. M


_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to MsIncognito)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/7/2005 8:58:47 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

It seems to me, that if this is to be an egalitarian community, with differences based entirely upon role and not upon sex, then there should be some sort of standard to govern money issues. Either subs are taken care of, or Doms receive tribute, regardless of sex. Or better yet, money should not be involved at all.


There are a lot of people who are only in the scene to benefit themselves. More often than not these people do not turn out to be dominant when you get to know them.
Personal preference. If you are a man wanting to cheat on his wife in the lifestyle..not get involved with anyone on a long term basis. Would you pay?
I personally would not pay because it would make them my submissive. I don't desire to own any submissives. Although that is my preference.

(in reply to thelight)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/7/2005 8:59:03 PM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thelight
It seems to me, that if this is to be an egalitarian community...


Uhh, for those of us in the "DS" part of BDSM, it is the exact opposite of egalitarian.

(in reply to thelight)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/7/2005 9:00:30 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thelight
the way i see it, it should be egalitarian as regards to sex. dominant should be treated equally, regardless of sex. likewise with submissives.
I know you're a dominant, but when did we decide You would determine the rules for all of our relationships as dominants? M


_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to thelight)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/7/2005 9:05:12 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire
There are a lot of people who are only in the scene to benefit themselves
With all due respect Ms Gloria, everyone is in the scene to benefit him/herself, weather that benefit is sexual, emotional, financial...
My advice to the OP is skip the people who are obviously not what you want/need for your benefit (especially if they are honest and upfront about what they want/need). M


_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/7/2005 9:08:00 PM   
richbtch24


Posts: 33
Joined: 7/26/2005
Status: offline 		Don't know if this was already said, as I am just a skimmer, but I feel if the male is willing to spend (waste) the money in either situation, let him. Everyone here has their own ideas that turns him/her on and I say go for it. I personally am not a part of this community to judge others. I mean I don't get into scat or blood or other aspects of this, but I do not say "Why, are there people that enjoy this." I just figure things that I like, there may be others saying "WHY" also. So I just say let these be. I personally would not give my money as stated in my profile but I do not say "why" to others. Also no offense but us males are always at a disadvantage (or so it seems) we are the ones that have to be the forward ones. Women can take advantage of it. If you look at a females profile on here, she always states WOW all of the emails I got (most from men) and some women now state "NO MORE MEN." That is because we are forward and in abundance at times. Look at stip clubs, not as many men dancing for money as there are women. And look at how much those women make. Just think about it on all aspects, I do agree but I just like to justify items to people, so that they atleast think. PHEW!

Just a rant,

Rob

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/7/2005 9:19:24 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: richbtch24
"NO MORE MEN." That is because we are forward and in abundance at times. Look at stip clubs, not as many men dancing for money as there are women. And look at how much those women make. Just think about it on all aspects, I do agree but I just like to justify items to people, so that they atleast think. PHEW!
Rob
Oh poor you, I can tell you're suffering for attention from women from that picture. You notice how good those girls look? That look costs a lot of money let me tell yah..
There are oodles of threads with money bitching on them, you and TheLight ought to do a search and you'll find people that agree and disagree with your position.
Welcome to the boards. M


_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to richbtch24)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/7/2005 9:23:05 PM   
Fidelity


Posts: 192
Joined: 8/1/2005
Status: offline 		it's just a common double standard left over from days where women were in thrall to men for money-since they didn't have careers of their own. Some still prefer to use men for life support systems.

But the same double standard works against men-who are seen as parasites if they dare to do the same.

(in reply to thelight)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/7/2005 9:41:04 PM   
onceburned


Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thelight.
It seems to me, that if this is to be an egalitarian community, with differences based entirely upon role and not upon sex, then there should be some sort of standard to govern money issues. Either subs are taken care of, or Doms receive tribute, regardless of sex. Or better yet, money should not be involved at all.


I think everyone should give their money to me. I will take good care of it.

This seems like a reasonable standard to me.

< Message edited by onceburned -- 8/7/2005 9:42:58 PM >

(in reply to thelight)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/7/2005 9:49:52 PM   
richbtch24


Posts: 33
Joined: 7/26/2005
Status: offline 		Too many people judge, that just happens to a pic that I look good in. I have another one in my profile. I am not one that has to pay, I don't plan on ever paying but you obviously overlooked my point.
quote:

ORIGINAL: richbtch24
if the male is willing to spend (waste) the money in either situation, let him.Everyone here has their own ideas that turns him/her on and I say go for it. I personally am not a part of this community to judge others.



You may want to reread my post BlkTall...I could go in depth but all is pretty much stated in my previous post

This just proves my point about judgement, everyone on this site is too quick to judge and nobody has an open mind. Not meant to insult, just to explain...

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/7/2005 10:00:20 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: richbtch24
This just proves my point about judgement, everyone on this site is too quick to judge and nobody has an open mind. Not meant to insult, just to explain...
Golly I wonder what you'd say if you meant to insult and judge?
You missed the smily face on my response to you... I really don't care that much about your profile or thoughts. M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 8/7/2005 10:01:22 PM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to richbtch24)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/7/2005 10:05:21 PM   
richbtch24


Posts: 33
Joined: 7/26/2005
Status: offline 		Fair enough, I did overlook the smile. But I have noticed that you can open up just about any post and catch judgement or ridicule in the post or the replies and this one thing is a pet peeve of mine and hopefully you can atleast understand that. My post again, was not an insult or a judgement and was not meant to be harsh although it may have come across that way. Not looking to burn bridges, just build them

< Message edited by richbtch24 -- 8/7/2005 10:11:47 PM >

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/7/2005 10:09:55 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: richbtch24
My post again, was not an insult or a judgement and was not meant to be harsh although it may have come across that way. Not looking to burn bridges, just build them
Okay, truce...
You'll understand that when one posts in a public forum, he is opening himself to whatever he gets... No one here gets the benefit of "only the people who agree with me may reply"... Except maybe the site owners. M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 8/7/2005 10:12:00 PM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to richbtch24)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/7/2005 10:47:51 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		You've been on the site for what, a week?

Check yasself before ya wreck yasself.

quote:

ORIGINAL: richbtch24

This just proves my point about judgement, everyone on this site is too quick to judge and nobody has an open mind. Not meant to insult, just to explain...


(in reply to richbtch24)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/8/2005 12:55:08 AM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		Or we could just be adults and run our relationships in ways that are beneficial for us and those we care about.

I don't pay when I got out on dates. I'm a lady and kind of old fashioned I suppose. In other words, I'm worth it.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/8/2005 2:54:11 AM   
PrincessinLatex


Posts: 191
Joined: 7/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Or we could just be adults and run our relationships in ways that are beneficial for us and those we care about.


I'll drink to that!!!

Princess

(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 20
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