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RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/9/2005 12:10:08 AM

onceburned

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Gosh, I keep buying lottery tickets... its only a matter of time, I'm sure!

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RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/9/2005 4:40:52 PM

DeviantDreamer

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I see the same more with the Dommes. I laugh and ridicule them. You give up your power when someone else pays your way because they can always stop! So really they aren't Dominant women they are just lazy or man haters. Now don't get me wrong.....many many men being chauvinist assholes have created this. Many weak men treat women like crap so why not in return. Hell read half the Dom profiles. many are users abusers sadists but not Dominant.

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RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/9/2005 7:19:20 PM

kc692

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If you win the lottery, do BlkTll and I get a portion since we were willing to give you our money?????

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RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/9/2005 7:22:39 PM

kc692

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Living expenses provided on your profile?????? So, have no problem paying for subs????? Not all are in it for money, and for the ones that are,as long as they state their objectives, so what??? This shouldn't turn into a flamefest at Dommes, I believe you are straying off the thread........

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RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/10/2005 1:05:44 AM

NakedOnMyChain

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I think it's up to the parties involved to decide. And I have definitely seen a lot of men on here that expect tribute, or their dom/me to take care of them financially.

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RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/10/2005 1:17:08 AM

DomButNotForgotn

Posts: 108
Joined: 6/2/2004
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Okay, listen up! Money should not enter into anything, but I'm a little short right now, so SEND ME YOUR MONEY!!

All you money slaves, Doms, subs, Dommes, slaves, Mistresses, Ladies, sluts, bitches and other assorted types! I need money and I want it and at least pray for me to win the fucking lottery!

Thank you.

BTW I have had subs and even vanilla GF's buy me stuff if they made more money than me. It's a personal finance issue to me, not a gender issue (too much)

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RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/10/2005 1:20:48 AM

DomButNotForgotn

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I have to say... it's rather annoying to see female subs trolling for rich Doms. Hell, I'd be glad to be given money from a sub if it was appropriate - who doesn't want more money, but - jealousy enters into it as well. I'd love to have the time & cash to indulge in keeping several slaves and playing with them whenever I wanted - the Kinky Playboy Mansion idea, but... sadly... I NEED MONEY!! So, send me some!

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RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/10/2005 2:43:55 AM

onceburned

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692
If you win the lottery, do BlkTll and I get a portion since we were willing to give you our money?????

Oh, shoot... I guess that would make sense, wouldn't it!

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RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/11/2005 11:01:51 AM

smilezz

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There there, There there...it will be ok. Take a deep breath.

*chucklez*

~smilezz~

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RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/11/2005 11:36:38 AM

MrThorns

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
I pay for all my own gear and fetish clothing, but if I didn't have the disposable income I might consider having a sub pay for some of my gear if he wanted to play with me. You don't know the difference between fetish clothing and normal clothing. A good pair of boots is $200 or $300.

I certainly know the difference between fetish clothing and normal clothing. I have a few pairs of boots that exceed $200 and thousands invested in toys, leathers, etc. I still won't charge my slave for the purchases I choose to make. She doesn't dictate what I wear or what toys I play with. If I want her to wear a certain outfit, I will buy it for her. I don't expect her to shell out her hard earned money in order to wear something that I am directing her to wear.

quote:

What if submissive men were expected to wear full body latex suits? Think they would be shelling out $800?

Akasha

There are men who are expected to do just that...and yes, they do. Is it sexist? You betcha.... Is it wrong? Not necessarily. We all have our choices to make. It's the rationalizations and justifications that piss me off:
I have to buy certain clothes...so I charge tribute.
I live in a state that costs too much...so I charge tribute.
Women don't make as much money as men do... so I charge tribute.
I need to complete my Fabrige egg collection...so I charge tribute.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

So, yeah, what she said was women's clothing, but what should have been obvious (and was obvious to me and others) was that she meant "women's fetish wear."

You are correct. She was referring to fetish wear and how unfair it is that women have to pay more than men. I was referring to how men have to pay more for regular apparel. Men's fetish apparel costs roughly as much as women's fetish apparel.

quote:

... if he expects it, he needs to at least help pay for it.

I totally agree with this statement, but do you notice how most male dominants won't ask for financial assistance from a female submissive? I don't believe that it has anything to do with how much a man makes versus what a woman makes or the cost of living. It's a choice. Some dominant women will charge tribute because they want to...just as some dominant men will pay for the living expenses of their submissive.

Women seem to be getting the better end of the financial stick...wether that is through a dominant woman demanding tribute from her male submissive, or a submissive woman having her financial needs being cared for by a male dominant.

I still don't care if someone decides to demand tribute or not...it's their relationship, not mine. I'm just bothered by the attempts to justify it by claiming that women have a greater financial hardship.

~Thorns

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RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/11/2005 12:41:06 PM

Raphael

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I've actually seen several male doms take money. It's my impression that in a 24/7 relationship it's actually common practice for the Master to take full control of the financial assets, from all sources, including any property she might bring into the relationship and any income she might be making as well. Of course, unless he's a real dirtbag, he takes the responsibility that comes with that and takes steps to make sure her needs are met, but it's still ALL HIS - not a token tribute, the whole thing.

And, sadly, there are no shortage of real dirtbags either of course.

This is not the same thing as the common femme-dom trick of collecting tribute from multiple admirers without ever even meeting them, of course, but it is male dominants taking money.

That said, your basic point about a double standard here is on target. It's been remarked on a lot, and there are many threads on it already you could find if you did a little searching. Through all the ones I've read, I've really only seen one decent argument for it. That being that it weeds out those who aren't serious. Lots of people, it seems, will promise eternal devotion but balk at a relatively small monetary tribute. Those people are obviously not serious, and having wasted way too much time on people that turned out to not be serious in the end, I can see why one would want a way to detect those people and quit wasting time on them sooner, not later. I've even toyed with the idea of trying it myself, for that reason.

That said, though, it's my impression (and possibly an incorrect one, but it is based on observation, not fantasy) that many, very likely the large majority, of those demanding tribute don't engage in real time anyway. At least not as dominants. I've known a couple in real life that did this, and they NEVER met the men that sent them tribute, had no desire to, and simply viewed it as an easy way to get presents. I want to be disgusted by this, but honestly, I can't - I find myself thinking that the men in those scenarios are getting just what they deserve.

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RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/11/2005 1:19:05 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrThorns
There are men who are expected to do just that...and yes, they do. Is it sexist? You betcha.... Is it wrong? Not necessarily. We all have our choices to make.
~Thorns

Exactly! It's all about choices, which we are ALL FREE to make, and no one should have to explain their choices. If something about me or my likes turns someone off, how easy is it to skip me and mine and go to the next without whining/complaining (which is of course what makes people think they need to rationalize/explain)? M

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RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/11/2005 1:20:40 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

ORIGINAL: smilezz
There there, There there...It will be ok. Take a deep breath.
*chucklez*
~smilezz~

Funny patting on the head.

M

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RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/11/2005 5:59:55 PM

LadySonelle

Posts: 280
Joined: 8/24/2004
From: Santa Fe NM
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For Me the money is not the issue. Teh subservience IS. When I Collared My First servitor, I was working and making very good money. She was making probably half of my income. I bought her a membership in a science fiction convention and paid her hotel and airfare. I have gone to the aid of submissives in distress, paying their rent and gas etc when I had it. Currently I am interested in AB/DL and sissy slaves and financial slavery. But all people who read My varied intereses *see* is "I WANT MONEY!!!" and they turn off and go away! What they perceive is NOT the reality! Not at all.

A slave must know Me for a while, get My Lessons, learn what is expected *BEFORE* we discuss him becoming a money slave, if at all! I have an AB/DL submissive now who pays Me not one thin dime! When we go out it is 50/50 each paying hir own way. My First servitor does the banking in the Householding and 100% of My paycheck in in her care. If I find a truly good French Maid or sissy slave or baby slave who fills My BDSM needs and wishes, money is the *last* thing on the menu!

My financial slave has, with My tutelage, been able to save and prosper and I have not "drained" him at all. Total cost of his service to Me this year around $200.00 in gifts. Of that, maybe $50 was actual cash money!
Fifty bucks a year is hardly leeching!

When I put a financial slave on a regimen, I do not insist they send the money to Me! Instead, I give them a masturbation schedule and tell them
that each time they pleasure themself, they are to put X amount into a bank account in their OWN NAME! When, and IF I desire a gift, it is from THAT account that they take the funds for what is asked.

You see to Me, it is not the money. It is the Dominance, the control, the ordering of their lives and schedules. When a slave writes to Me and pleads for the treat of an extra masturbation day it is a thrill! The slave is in no danger of being "fleeced" for the money I have demanded for his self-pleasuring is STILL in his OWN account! That he has promised it to Me is the honour of his slavery, that he will keep is word. if he has a sudden emergency, the money is THERE for his use, even though earmarked for Me. if, at the end of the year, he has money left over in that account, then it is spent on a treat. A toy, something nice, or a cash gift. I have taught slaves how to save, how to manage a savings account. It is amazing how many do not have such skills

Lady Sonelle

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RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/12/2005 6:20:34 AM

pinkpleasures

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quote:

ORIGINAL: richbtch24
This just proves my point about judgement, everyone on this site is too quick to judge and nobody has an open mind. Not meant to insult, just to explain.

EVERYONE? Don't be such a dim bulb, richbitch. It says right on my profile that i want a Man who is financially responsible, whether prince or pauper. And as a novice, i am taught all the time.

pinkpleasures

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RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/14/2005 4:19:32 AM

zaynab

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Money is the root of all evil... the best thing to do is hand it all over to your Dom and he will get rid of it for you. That is my official position.

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i used to care... but now i take a pill for that

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RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/14/2005 5:11:01 AM

nella

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Well, i am not sure money is the root of all evil, but some problems it may cause indeed. But i like money. But my Dom do control my money for me, even if i get to spend quite a bit of it on myself.

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RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/14/2005 8:45:09 AM

SweetDommes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: zaynab

Money is the root of all evil... the best thing to do is hand it all over to your Dom and he will get rid of it for you. That is my official position.

Actually, the saying is "Want of money is the root of all evil" i.e. greed.

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RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/14/2005 9:14:56 AM

thelight

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

quote:

ORIGINAL: zaynab

Money is the root of all evil... the best thing to do is hand it all over to your Dom and he will get rid of it for you. That is my official position.

Actually, the saying is "Want of money is the root of all evil" i.e. greed.

"Want" does not necessarily mean desire; it can also mean lack. So the saying could actually mean that being broke is the root of all evil. I'm inclined to agree with that.

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RE: money and sexism in BDSM - 8/14/2005 9:37:43 AM

stef

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes

Actually, the saying is "Want of money is the root of all evil" i.e. greed.

Not quite.

'For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.' - 1 Timothy 6:10

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