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ORIGINAL: Stephann

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ORIGINAL: MistressDolly

Focus less on what you don't have and more on what you do have. Concentrate on working and improving you, e.g., reading, working out, charity, etc... whatever. Someone is bound to come along and take notice. If not, well, at least you're having fun anyway.

She's spot on.  Take it a step further; it seems you're struggling with a confidence problem right now.  Ask yourself if you'd want a great girl with zero confidence in herself?  Not to save her, but just to be with her?  Probably not.  Do you want a woman to save you, or do you genuinely want someone who challenges you, and whom YOU can challenge!  That's part of what being an emotional partner is about.  The added bonus, is that you're out there, doing things you love.  You have a far better chance of meeting people, and having them interested in you, when they see you doing something you love.  I can't tell you how often I've met people while playing guitar in bars or pubs, because I was genuinely enjoying myself.

As for you being a switch specifically, you've got a tough road to walk in the BDSM community.  Men who are willing to submit simply have an uphill battle.  They're often not seen submissive enough to actually be owned, nor dominant enough to actually own someone.  A word of advice, though, is that many female dominants are actually switches as well.  Male switches often do well with female switches; so that might give you some direction.  But beyond the label, it shouldn't really matter if you're dom, sub, or switch.  People will learn to like you, for you, for who you are; not what you like or how you like it.

Good luck,

Stephan