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vanilla world - 11/13/2007 7:58:52 PM   
southernhart


Posts: 120
Joined: 9/27/2007
Status: offline 		does anyone from your vanilla world know that you are in a D/s relationship? If they do how did they take it? Do they treat you diferently? i'm proud of my submission and want to share it with the world. but my vanilla world  people just couldn't handle it.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: vanilla world - 11/13/2007 8:12:38 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		They know I am a masochist and i think my mom suspects that I am a submissive because of things she has said

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to southernhart)
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RE: vanilla world - 11/13/2007 8:42:41 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: southernhart
does anyone from your vanilla world know that you are in a D/s relationship? If they do how did they take it? Do they treat you diferently? i'm proud of my submission and want to share it with the world. but my vanilla world  people just couldn't handle it.
Sure, anyone who gets close to me and who isn't family definitely knows, because I won't choose to open myself to someone if I can't be FULLY who I am with them.

Granted, that's a benefit of being into all this BEFORE you even turn 21- you don't have all those ex's and lifelong friends to worry about.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to southernhart)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: vanilla world - 11/13/2007 10:52:27 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		It's sometimes hard to tell who does and doesn't know. I know that people who know me often say things that indicate they know more than I suspect them to know, but it never really matters to me. I've never really been all that hidden about my lifestyle. When I was doing my Ph.D. in Michigan, several of the women in the program with me definitely knew about me and my lifestyle. One of them even went out of her way to keep other women from taking advantage of me, and often bluntly indicated that I was a submissive, but not in a demeaning way. I think the fact that she was a German citizen and from East Germany probably made that seem more natural.

Today, I'm in another graduate school situation, and there are a few who I suspect know more about my lifestyle than they let on. One is a young woman who takes advantage of my submissive nature, but does so in a way that is always of a reciprocal nature, indicating that she understands I'll do whatever she asks of me but she sets limits to make sure it doesn't become overwhelming.


_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me


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The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to southernhart)
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RE: vanilla world - 11/13/2007 11:49:45 PM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		There are a few people who know that I am in a D/s relationship, but I don't think anybody outside of the lifestyle actually *understands* what I enjoy or why I enjoy it...which is a little sad.

Oh well, you can't expect them to dance when they can't hear the music.

(in reply to littlesarbonn)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: vanilla world - 11/14/2007 12:18:30 AM   
Einzelganger


Posts: 221
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Orlando, FL
Status: offline 		I feel I can be myself without wearing it on my sleeve...which is why there's only one vaniila individual who knows what I am.  *smiles*

-Einzelgänger

(in reply to Shawn1066)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: vanilla world - 11/14/2007 4:11:03 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		When you seperate vanilla from bdsm, you automatially set yourself up to fail someone.
We do not seperate ourselves, we just are.  It's a normal, healthy and quirky life for us so people just see normal, healthy, quirky people.  Live different lives in different areas then you will always let someone down somewhere because they just see a lie and feel let down by that.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to southernhart)
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RE: vanilla world - 11/14/2007 4:19:49 AM   
Master96


Posts: 593
Joined: 2/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

When you seperate vanilla from bdsm, you automatially set yourself up to fail someone.
We do not seperate ourselves, we just are. It's a normal, healthy and quirky life for us so people just see normal, healthy, quirky people. Live different lives in different areas then you will always let someone down somewhere because they just see a lie and feel let down by that.

the.dark.


*Thinks* hummmm.......

Edited the font size!

< Message edited by Master96 -- 11/14/2007 4:23:24 AM >

_____________________________

Master96,

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Understand that actions will always speak louder than words.


Before you speak, ask yourself..
Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?
Does it improve upon the silence? - Sai Baba

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: vanilla world - 11/14/2007 4:35:46 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

When you seperate vanilla from bdsm, you automatially set yourself up to fail someone.
We do not seperate ourselves, we just are.  It's a normal, healthy and quirky life for us so people just see normal, healthy, quirky people.  Live different lives in different areas then you will always let someone down somewhere because they just see a lie and feel let down by that.
 
the.dark.

Exactly

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: vanilla world - 11/14/2007 4:36:27 AM   
Hergirl0824


Posts: 119
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline 		my closest friends know....i worried about if they would accept it or not being that we have been friends for many years, but they both accepted it gracefully, asked a few questions to try to understand it better and then said they would support anything that made me happy

_____________________________

collared to Mistress Sizzlynn

When i let go of what i am, i become what i might be

(in reply to southernhart)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: vanilla world - 11/14/2007 5:15:46 AM   
Einzelganger


Posts: 221
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Orlando, FL
Status: offline 		I work rather frequently with government agencies that have no sense of humor; the last thing I need is an employer looking for an excuse to let me go.  So, separating my vanilla and BDSM life is somewhat a necessity.  Granted, I've never lied about it or denied it.  I simply opt not to go out of my way to tell people about it.  Besides, noone's going to ask me if I'm into all that whip-and-chains stuff.  I'm a good, quiet boy with somewhat traditional values. *grins*

-Einzelgänger

< Message edited by Einzelganger -- 11/14/2007 5:17:56 AM >

(in reply to Hergirl0824)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: vanilla world - 11/14/2007 5:17:13 AM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline
quote:

does anyone from your vanilla world know that you are in a D/s relationship?

Many know exactly how i live.

quote:

If they do how did they take it?

What's there to take? i don't care "how" they take it or handle it. It's my life, i don't impose what i do on others, but when they find out...they all ASK.

quote:

Do they treat you diferently?

Nope..


~smilezz~

_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

�*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,-:* �

(in reply to southernhart)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: vanilla world - 11/14/2007 5:36:26 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		my UMs - yes they know about Daddy and why Mom wears a metal collar around her neck and/or receives gifts from Him.

my family and close friends - no because some are deeply rooted in their Christian faith and i keep that side of my life away from them.

my co-workers and other friends - i'm one of few kinksters working at the radio station and i have discussed Daddy, my collar, and my kink tastes on air before ...we even had others within the BDSM community come to the studio for demonstrations.


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to southernhart)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: vanilla world - 11/14/2007 6:58:23 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		I don't state to anyone the expectations involved in our relationship, just like they don't go out of their way to state what is expected in theirs.

But people see us together and are often moved to tell us how happy we look, how well we deal together, how amazed they are that they have never seen us argue or cut each other down.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: vanilla world - 11/14/2007 7:14:51 AM   
rubberpet


Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline 		I've come out to just my parents about my relationship with Mistress.  I told them I wasn't going to hide the real meaning of it.  I'm proud to be a submissive and even more so to belong to Her.  They know we both have an extreme fetish for rubber and latex clothing and they know I am submissive only to Her and obey Her every command.  They really don't understand the dynamics of it, only what references they see in TV and movies.  I told them to just look at it as I'm just a very loyal and obedient boyfriend who loves Her because She has a very dominant personality (and not to freak out when I sit on the floor at Her feet, curled up around Her legs).  When described to them in that context, they became much more OK with the idea.

I haven't come out to other vanilla people yet because I don't trust them to know something that intimate.  I'll only come out to those who I feel are mature and open-minded enough to not judge negatively on it. 

< Message edited by rubberpet -- 11/14/2007 7:16:00 AM >

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.


(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: vanilla world - 11/14/2007 9:04:34 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		Reposted ~~

I was just in Michigan a few weeks ago for a family members funeral and as i was getting ready my mother and daughter started in on me about wearing my collar....both of them kept telling me I should take it off....I wouldn't....they got the point. Its MY life...I'm not an asshole I don't "flaunt" it in anyones face. I'm very considerate of those around me when I do have the occasion to speak about my life style choice. On the other hand I don't go out of my way in ANY stretch to hide who I am.

My youngest daughter was hedging around, asking odd leading questions...and I knew where she was wanting to go....so I let her off the hook, and offered it up for discussion...I simply said..."Tiffany honey, if you want to talk about this I will. Just know that what ever you ask, I will answer...so be sure you want to hear the answer." The phone was silent for about a full 45 sec....and she chimed in with a cheerful question about how the weather had been lately.....LOL So....yeah...I am who I am...I don't know what box that puts me in.


_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to rubberpet)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: vanilla world - 11/14/2007 9:04:36 AM   
mhawk


Posts: 509
Joined: 11/5/2007
From: Washington
Status: offline



southernhart,

well there are a few friends i have outside the bdsm world that know about this.many of them do not understand it nor do i push it on them.some of them disagree with this entirely and see it as something that should not be done no matter if it is agreeable by the people involved in the relation(so to speak). also, my family has no clue what so ever and i plan to keep it far away from them,seeing as when they found out i was bi sexual they nearly cast me out of the family entirely.

i have one friend who understands it compleatly and is more than happy for me that i am OP now.





(in reply to rubberpet)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: vanilla world - 11/14/2007 9:36:50 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		I neither hide it nor push it on others. My parents and several friends all know that my relationships have me catering to my other that goes past normal “regular” world but never have thought that I was living a lie by not giving them some play by play of our dynamic.

My parents and several friends do know about my S&M things as when they asked about bruises I did not lie.

I have found whether these things or others that often come with judgment and/or has a titillation factor that those who judge you inferior have already judged you inferior anyway because it is about them. My friends and family just basically asks questions to make sure I was alright and happy and once convinced I was not a victim just dropped it because quite frankly who talks about these types of things with others?


_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to southernhart)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: vanilla world - 11/14/2007 2:42:24 PM   
PrincessEllie


Posts: 287
Joined: 11/30/2006
Status: offline 		Hmmm, my mom knows because she read my journal (what a Jerk!), my therapist knows because my mom told her, my friends all know and they take it pretty well.

Except yesterday when I was messing around with my Dom. I'm always playful and he's really ticklish so I was having fun messing with him when he was sleepy and slow to block, but he finally got fed up and slapped me. He never hurts me with his slaps, not badly, they are just warnings. But my vanilla friend who was there got these huge eyes like he couldn't even believe it. My boy rolled over and went back to sleeping like nothing had happened, and I just pouted.


_____________________________

Sticks and stones
May break my bones
But whips and chains excite me
So tie me up
Or hold me down
And bite me baby, bite me!

http://www.cafepress.com/scenedayware
--Discreet BDSM day clothes--

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: vanilla world - 11/14/2007 2:51:11 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		When I told my closest friend she said I should quit my job and do this full time.

(in reply to PrincessEllie)
Profile   Post #: 20
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