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RE: How do you define a "Wanna-Be" - 11/16/2007 12:51:07 PM   
subtee


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Status: offline 		With a last name like "Cummings" he probably wouldn't mind being "used" on a BDSM site...

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RE: How do you define a "Wanna-Be" - 11/16/2007 1:10:09 PM   
Alumbrado


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quote:

i tend to find people who call others "wanna bes"  or whatnot are simply insecure about their own talents


quote:

I personally see the use of the word wannabe in a profile to be a negative reflection on the individual.    


quote:

Wannabe, true, fake, poser, real, they are all just more labels. People seems to find it easier to wrap their heads around a concept if they can put it in a neat little box.


So the ones adopting all the trappings of a doctor, or an astronaut, or a Medal of Honor winner, are just not appreciated for their potential, while people who have actually achieved a certain status are whiny crybabies?


What a load of BS.



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RE: How do you define a "Wanna-Be" - 11/16/2007 3:49:54 PM   
littlebitxxx


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Status: offline 		My turn for the Aw Shucks.  Thanks dark.  You and yours will be welcomed here for sure. 

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RE: How do you define a "Wanna-Be" - 11/16/2007 5:03:57 PM   
InkedMaster


Posts: 342
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		Basicly the term has been around for ages. People trying to emulate a lifestyle without putting in the time, blood sweat and tears that those who have gone before them have. Be it a surfer, a celebrity, gangster or biker, people will buy the clothes, change thier hairstyle, spend thousands upon thousands of dollars on a motorcycle or other equipment to try and look the part. But in my opinion the wannabe doesn't want to take the time to learn the lifestyle, to live the lifestyle and to pay thier dues, they want the status instantly. Ofcourse there are those that are truly genuine in thier goals, these people will take the time to learn how to surf and actually spend time doing it, there are those that will learn the best Harley Davidsons are the ones you built from the ground up with a brother teaching you, and ofcourse there are those that will learn about bdsm from the wealth of knowledge available, they'll posess the forsight and common sense to call bullshit when needed, but the patience to listen and learn and take from the lifestyle what they want to fit thier life. In todays world of instant gratification there will always be those that want or even expect recogintion without putting in the work. These are the people that are looked at as nothing more than a wannabe.

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RE: How do you define a "Wanna-Be" - 11/16/2007 5:14:43 PM   
lighthearted


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RE: How do you define a "Wanna-Be" - 11/16/2007 5:38:04 PM   
UntappdPotential


Posts: 15
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Status: offline 		I wanna be the very best
Like no one ever was (Dun dun dun)

Ah, the nostalgia. 

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RE: How do you define a "Wanna-Be" - 11/16/2007 6:55:55 PM   
HornyToadsMI


Posts: 287
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		Well, i wanna be tied down and flogged right now.....but He is sleeping...so i am a "wanna be"....lol

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RE: How do you define a "Wanna-Be" - 11/16/2007 11:38:05 PM   
Lumus


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Alumbrado

quote:

i tend to find people who call others "wanna bes"  or whatnot are simply insecure about their own talents


quote:

I personally see the use of the word wannabe in a profile to be a negative reflection on the individual.    


quote:

Wannabe, true, fake, poser, real, they are all just more labels. People seems to find it easier to wrap their heads around a concept if they can put it in a neat little box.


So the ones adopting all the trappings of a doctor, or an astronaut, or a Medal of Honor winner, are just not appreciated for their potential, while people who have actually achieved a certain status are whiny crybabies?


What a load of BS.





On a side-note:  I've never seen Alumbrado offer a positive, non-cynical post, and I have to wonder:  why?

Not flaming, just asking.  For all I know it's what you're into. 

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RE: How do you define a "Wanna-Be" - 11/17/2007 4:30:35 AM   
slavegirljoy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lumus

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alumbrado

quote:

i tend to find people who call others "wanna bes"  or whatnot are simply insecure about their own talents

quote:

I personally see the use of the word wannabe in a profile to be a negative reflection on the individual.    

quote:

Wannabe, true, fake, poser, real, they are all just more labels. People seems to find it easier to wrap their heads around a concept if they can put it in a neat little box.


So the ones adopting all the trappings of a doctor, or an astronaut, or a Medal of Honor winner, are just not appreciated for their potential, while people who have actually achieved a certain status are whiny crybabies?

What a load of BS.


On a side-note:  I've never seen Alumbrado offer a positive, non-cynical post, and I have to wonder:  why?

Not flaming, just asking.  For all I know it's what you're into. 

There's nothing negative or cynical about describing what a "wannabe" is, which is what Alumbrado has done in his posts on this thread. A lot of people seem to think that "wannabe" is just a short way of saying "want to be" and that just isn't the case. "Wannabe" actually has a definition, which Alumbrado gave in a very clear, concise and non-cynical post. But, apparently, a lot of people here are 'into' making their own definitions for words, rather than use the one that is provided in the dictionary.

There’s a huge difference between someone who “wants to be _________” and works toward attaining that goal and someone who is a “wannabe” and just puts on an act so that they can appear to be something they aren’t. Wanting to be something is an action. Wannabe is a noun. It’s in the dictionary. Alumbrado gave the definition, as did a few others. What’s cynical about that?

slave joy
Owned property of Master David


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RE: How do you define a "Wanna-Be" - 11/17/2007 5:58:32 AM   
stella41b


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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavegirljoy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lumus

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alumbrado

quote:

i tend to find people who call others "wanna bes"  or whatnot are simply insecure about their own talents

quote:

I personally see the use of the word wannabe in a profile to be a negative reflection on the individual.    

quote:

Wannabe, true, fake, poser, real, they are all just more labels. People seems to find it easier to wrap their heads around a concept if they can put it in a neat little box.


So the ones adopting all the trappings of a doctor, or an astronaut, or a Medal of Honor winner, are just not appreciated for their potential, while people who have actually achieved a certain status are whiny crybabies?

What a load of BS.


On a side-note:  I've never seen Alumbrado offer a positive, non-cynical post, and I have to wonder:  why?

Not flaming, just asking.  For all I know it's what you're into. 

There's nothing negative or cynical about describing what a "wannabe" is, which is what Alumbrado has done in his posts on this thread. A lot of people seem to think that "wannabe" is just a short way of saying "want to be" and that just isn't the case. "Wannabe" actually has a definition, which Alumbrado gave in a very clear, concise and non-cynical post. But, apparently, a lot of people here are 'into' making their own definitions for words, rather than use the one that is provided in the dictionary.

There’s a huge difference between someone who “wants to be _________” and works toward attaining that goal and someone who is a “wannabe” and just puts on an act so that they can appear to be something they aren’t. Wanting to be something is an action. Wannabe is a noun. It’s in the dictionary. Alumbrado gave the definition, as did a few others. What’s cynical about that?

slave joy
Owned property of Master David




This may be true but as with many derogatory terms used to define other people it says much more about the person using the term than it does about the person to whom the term has been addressed.

Draw your own conclusions.

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RE: How do you define a "Wanna-Be" - 11/17/2007 6:00:38 AM   
mnottertail


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quote:

On a side-note: I've never seen Alumbrado offer a positive, non-cynical post, and I have to wonder: why?

Not flaming, just asking. For all I know it's what you're into.


I have.....but being the cynical bastard I am, it might just be that he is a jaded realistic.

CynicalBastardDom


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RE: How do you define a "Wanna-Be" - 11/17/2007 7:36:40 AM   
Alumbrado


Posts: 5560
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lumus

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alumbrado

quote:

i tend to find people who call others "wanna bes"  or whatnot are simply insecure about their own talents


quote:

I personally see the use of the word wannabe in a profile to be a negative reflection on the individual.    


quote:

Wannabe, true, fake, poser, real, they are all just more labels. People seems to find it easier to wrap their heads around a concept if they can put it in a neat little box.


So the ones adopting all the trappings of a doctor, or an astronaut, or a Medal of Honor winner, are just not appreciated for their potential, while people who have actually achieved a certain status are whiny crybabies?


What a load of BS.





On a side-note:  I've never seen Alumbrado offer a positive, non-cynical post, and I have to wonder:  why?

Not flaming, just asking.  For all I know it's what you're into. 



Non-cyncial would mean that I had stopped breathing. 

And I suspect that you've never seen any of my positive posts for the same reason that you've not contributed to the non-sniping threads I start which always sink like rocks.


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RE: How do you define a "Wanna-Be" - 11/17/2007 7:38:14 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		But, it seems to me, everyones defines. "wannabe". differently. Who is right?

Jeff

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RE: How do you define a "Wanna-Be" - 11/17/2007 7:41:09 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
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Status: offline 		They wannabe this they wanna be that  their just out lying like a rat. .

(in reply to Alumbrado)
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RE: How do you define a "Wanna-Be" - 11/17/2007 7:44:20 AM   
Alumbrado


Posts: 5560
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quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alumbrado

So the ones adopting all the trappings of a doctor, or an astronaut, or a Medal of Honor winner, are just not appreciated for their potential, while people who have actually achieved a certain status are whiny crybabies?




....as with many derogatory terms used to define other people it says much more about the person using the term than it does about the person to whom the term has been addressed.

Draw your own conclusions.


I did draw my own conclusion...

I feel that people who have achieved something significant have no reason to apologize for feeling that wannabes trying to claime unearned credit are in the wrong.

Since you seem to feel differently, perhaps you could go into a little more detail? 

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RE: How do you define a "Wanna-Be" - 11/17/2007 8:42:55 AM   
Sexynmentalinkc


Posts: 132
Joined: 4/14/2006
Status: offline 		It carries no meaning for me.

There's good wanna-be's and bad. Just like there's good _______ and bad.


The negativity I generally see surrounding this issue has everything to do with intent and whether O/one can be taken at their word. If you talk the talk...and state that you DO walk the walk (but fail to) then you're a bad wannabe. If you stand behind your words with actions, then you can be the good sort of wannabe. You could easily replace wannabe with poser, real/fake, whatever.


All the terms and definitions and labels and expectations and all that @#$%...it's just spin.

People are what they are and do (or do not) what they do - race ipsa locquitor (Latin, roughly - 'The thing is what it is').



*tips his hat*

- Mr. S

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RE: How do you define a "Wanna-Be" - 11/17/2007 9:29:09 AM   
MadRabbit


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lumus

On a side-note:  I've never seen Alumbrado offer a positive, non-cynical post, and I have to wonder:  why?



My conjecture?

Because he's been around these boards since 2005.

His posts are actually some of the few I always take time to read, because they are almost always free of bullshit and garbage.


< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 11/17/2007 9:31:04 AM >

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RE: How do you define a "Wanna-Be" - 11/17/2007 9:31:52 AM   
AnimusRex


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Fake, wannabe, poser....why is there so much insecure handwringing within the BDSM world, about the notions of legitimacy and authenticity?
For example, do swingers go around pointing at each other and shrieking- "you are not a real swinger!!! you are just a wanna be!!!'
Do vanilla people accuse each other of not being a REAL boyfriend (I thought he was the ONE...but he turned out to be a FAKE boyfriend!!!!)

"he isn't a REAL homosexual- he just liked to fuck other men!!!"

Maybe the issues of reality and authenticity come about because BDSM and Gor rely so heavily on our sexual fantasies and dreams- there is breathtaking reality of course, real and sincere surrender and control....but we derive a large part of our pleasure and fulfillment from things symbolic and metaphorical...the "slavery" is ultimately consensual, the pain is willingly endured. We live in a looking glass world where yes means no, punishment is pleasure, nothing is as it seems.  The figures we quote and mimic, such as Tarl Cabot and Sir Stephan are cartoons, flat and crudely rendered, without the opposing facets and contradictions that real time, living breathing people have. The traditions we follow of collars, kneeling, and training are pulled from works of fiction, created in the literary world where nothing exists but eros and pleasure and drama.

Real time BDSM organizations and dungeon clubs have as their unspoken premise that they can somehow, through modern day alchemy, spin the straw of our dreams into the gold of reality- but isn't the biggest dream, the one repeated through the Beauty books, O, Gorean novels and the like, the fantasy of a life of easy and instant bliss, of being awakened by a Prince, and living a life that is pruned of the mundane, the messy, free from painful sacrifice and compromise- there are no children, no jobs, no aging parents, no bodies sagging and aching from mortality.

I have known people personally who have struggled with mad passion to become REAL....they buy gear, they read books, they build dungeons in their garage and spend years perfecting the skill and artistry of inflicting or receiving pain and control....they scorn mundanities such as families and hobbies and proudly set themselves in opposition to the vanilla conventional world.... at the end of this process, they have become REAL Master and slave....at the expense of becoming fake people, actors living their life according to a script.

Maybe being REAL shouldn't be our goal....maybe instead of measuring ourselves according to cartoon characters, we should focus being true to our own sense of how we want to live our lives and enjoy our sexuality.

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RE: How do you define a "Wanna-Be" - 11/17/2007 9:38:14 AM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Alumbrado

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alumbrado

So the ones adopting all the trappings of a doctor, or an astronaut, or a Medal of Honor winner, are just not appreciated for their potential, while people who have actually achieved a certain status are whiny crybabies?




....as with many derogatory terms used to define other people it says much more about the person using the term than it does about the person to whom the term has been addressed.

Draw your own conclusions.


I did draw my own conclusion...

I feel that people who have achieved something significant have no reason to apologize for feeling that wannabes trying to claime unearned credit are in the wrong.



If you have done significant community service to the public Scene, I would imagine that LordDoofus, the Old Guard trained decandent of an ancient European House with 30 years of experience as full fledged citizenship in the great underground elite BDSM society that has existed for 3 billion light years...

...just might annoy you a little bit.

While I do tend to agree with the politically correct statement of "There is no such thing as a wannabe", I only reserve this acceptance for people who live on Planet Earth.

As amazing as it is to beleive, there is, in fact, individuals who comes to boards like these with fictional biographies to give themselves some kind of special credence.

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RE: How do you define a "Wanna-Be" - 11/17/2007 9:44:42 AM   
Raechard


Posts: 3513
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From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline 		The Spice Girls had such wisdom and understanding of the world, I mock. That's where I heard the term first and it is totally lacking in meaning because if you don't want to be better than that you consider yourself then why take another breath? I’m glad people are interested in the lifestyle and want to get involved in it more, I’d rather have that then society looking at me like a criminal. People have such short memories it seems.

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