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On Tolerance and Understanding - 11/15/2007 8:39:40 AM   
Daddysnikayla


Posts: 1
Joined: 7/23/2007
Status: offline 		 
i have been a member of this "Lifestyle" for over a decade now and i have learned so much from people in all the different facets of it.  There is one thing though that never ceases to amaze me.  We, as in "Lifestylers", face so much opposition from those who do not understand the lives we lead.  And, i know at least for myself, that i have spent countless hours talking to people about my life choices in an effort to bring some understanding.  We also all have felt that feeling of being looked at differently, ostracized, or ridiculed for who we are.  We all know how much it hurts and how terribly frustrating it can be to feel like no one else knows or identifies with you. 
We talk so much about finding BDSM and feeling like we are finally home and being finally at peace knowing we are not alone in this big scary world. 
So then i have to ask, where do we (some not all of us) get off doing the same thing to others who have found there home here?  What right do we have to say others are wrong, gross, unacceptable, etc. when we meet someone who has a different kink than we do?
If we want there to be a change in the world were EVERYONE is accepted and embraced for who they are then we need to BE the change we want to see in the world.  How can we demand to be heard and seek out acceptance if we cannot provide that to our peers? How can we stand tall and proud if from within we are squabbling and tearing one another down?
It is time for a change.  We need to challenge ourselves to be tolerant of everyones life choices, to present ourselves as a united front to the "vanilla" world.  In a world that embraces streamlining, mainstreaming, and intolerance as virtues, we need to lead by example and be the change we want to see in the world.  We scoff at the sissy boys, cringe when watersports or scat is mentioned, say someone isn't a Top or a bottom just because they do it differently than we do.   This is just hypocritical and destructive. 
So, then, i issue a challenge to each and every one of us.  Search out someone who doesn't share your particular kink and learn about it.  Talk to one another.  Through communication comes understanding and through that, tolerance and eventually unity.  That is my challenge to us all.  Be the change.  Challenge yourself to grow and gain knowledge and understanding and by doing so we can change the world for the better one person at a time. 
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RE: On Tolerance and Understanding - 11/15/2007 8:41:36 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		 Its not my job, nor my responsibility to make things easier for someone else.

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RE: On Tolerance and Understanding - 11/15/2007 8:48:33 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Mist, come on, make the world a better place....you know you want to!
kumbaya


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RE: On Tolerance and Understanding - 11/15/2007 8:51:19 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Mist, come on, make the world a better place....you know you want to!
kumbaya


LMAO

No... I won't do it

/stomps foot

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RE: On Tolerance and Understanding - 11/15/2007 9:02:04 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysnikayla
If we want there to be a change in the world were EVERYONE is accepted and embraced for who they are then we need to BE the change we want to see in the world.  How can we demand to be heard and seek out acceptance if we cannot provide that to our peers? How can we stand tall and proud if from within we are squabbling and tearing one another down?
It is time for a change.  We need to challenge ourselves to be tolerant of everyones life choices, to present ourselves as a united front to the "vanilla" world.  In a world that embraces streamlining, mainstreaming, and intolerance as virtues, we need to lead by example and be the change we want to see in the world. 


I, for one, do not wish to give everyone a warm and welcoming embrace. There are some who want to use the umbrella that this lifestyle provides...and some of them practice some shit that is just very wrong on all counts in my opinion. Now they may not see it the same way but the beauty is that nowhere in this lifestyle does it say that I have to be tolerant and accepting of all...nowhere does it say that I have to forfeit the right to make my own judgments...so, if you want to hug and welcome that pedophile, that predator or that abuser....by all means do so. I will, thankfully, retain my right to make my own judgment and choose who and what I am willing to be tolerant of.

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Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

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RE: On Tolerance and Understanding - 11/15/2007 9:03:24 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I think I spend more time wondering why people have the need to be accepted by the masses.  I am going to have kink others may not.  They are going to do things I may find abhorrent.  As long as I am not laying next to them why would I care what they do?  Why would I feel the need to have their approval on what I do? 
The best thing I ever learned in life was never aspire to be a sheep.
Kyst

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pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


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RE: On Tolerance and Understanding - 11/15/2007 9:03:24 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I guess Erin's not up for the kumbaya group hug either.

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RE: On Tolerance and Understanding - 11/15/2007 9:04:47 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I guess Erin's not up for the kumbaya group hug either.


I think I'm actually going to have to put that on my hard limit list...lol.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

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RE: On Tolerance and Understanding - 11/15/2007 9:17:38 AM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		Put it on my hard limit list too.

Be fair folks; between the message boards, workshops, and discussion meetings, modern BDSM groups are firmly planted at least halfway into the 'support group' system, even if we hold our meetings in pizza parlours instead of the methodist church basement.  Hence, there's going to be a support group mentality that attracts and encourages people to be welcoming and tolerant of all people, regardless of where they came from or what they like.

I completely agree though; I refuse to surrender my right to judge and judge harshly.  I certainly don't want to be part of any group that seeks to trump my right to do so.

Stephan

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"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

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RE: On Tolerance and Understanding - 11/15/2007 9:47:41 AM   
xoxi


Posts: 1066
Status: offline 		What erin said, times two.

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RE: On Tolerance and Understanding - 11/15/2007 9:51:44 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Come on people KumbyYa MyLord  KumbyYa. How about I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.  Like the op tired to say in a lot of words Judge not lest you be Judged. You have the right to Judge but what right do you have to force your opinions on others. You have the right to walk away and you should use that right more often.  

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RE: On Tolerance and Understanding - 11/15/2007 9:59:23 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		i am judgemental and intolerant...and proud of it...because i am not perfect...because shockingly...i am human...and because there are things in this world that i refuse to accept and people lable them as kinks - pedophilia, rape, incest, necrophilia (and they murder to get their partners), domestic abuse, nonconsentual torture, etc...why should i be tolerant of that....while...yes, i can understand them...i can understand them as i am watching them be executed...and yes, i think they are all death sentence offences...let God sort them out...

oh and i prefer Michael Row Your Boat Ashore....Kumby-ya is too boring....


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RE: On Tolerance and Understanding - 11/15/2007 10:11:59 AM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		For one, One, You can not speak for every one on this plannet, on this website doing what they do as for what we've "all felt."

For two, not all of us demand to be heard and seen, some think it's best for themselves not to be noticed.

For Three. it's every one's right not to want to know about certain kinks, weather it be as extream as eating poop daily for snacks, or as tame as putting on women's shoes when you're a man.


And for Four, not every one is interested in being a moving force, they're happy to be quietly behind the scenes. So if you want to be a what it is we do embassador, great, not every one does. And that is every single individual's right.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysnikayla

 
We also all have felt that feeling of being looked at differently, ostracized, or ridiculed for who we are.  We all know how much it hurts and how terribly frustrating it can be to feel like no one else knows or identifies with you. 

 
  How can we demand to be heard and seek out acceptance if we cannot provide that to our peers?


So, then, i issue a challenge to each and every one of us.  Search out someone who doesn't share your particular kink and learn about it.  Talk to one another.  Through communication comes understanding and through that, tolerance and eventually unity.  That is my challenge to us all.  Be the change.  Challenge yourself to grow and gain knowledge and understanding and by doing so we can change the world for the better one person at a time. 

(in reply to Daddysnikayla)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: On Tolerance and Understanding - 11/15/2007 1:10:24 PM   
DarkDaddyZ


Posts: 805
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline 		We are kinky, that is what brings all of us together.  That is the main core of what brings us here to collarme and in power exchanged based relationships.
But we are of various kinky power exchange relationships, political affiliations, religions, sexual orientations and everything else.  We aren't utopia and we shouldn't be.  Life would be so boring.
While I know for my household and personal friends I look for those into intense power exchange, play etc, and am more attracted to those who are more politically liberal minded, I also have friends that have different beliefs than I.  I also know people who have different BDSM structures or play styles.  We may debate but our differences are as good as our similarities.

I like it like that.

Z-

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RE: On Tolerance and Understanding - 11/15/2007 2:05:11 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		We are simply a slice of the average human condition. Hence, we too often act as if we are not the perfect beautiful beings that we are inside our human shell and personality. (Of course, this statement relies heavily on my own personal spiritual beliefs.)

Master Fire


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RE: On Tolerance and Understanding - 11/15/2007 2:10:34 PM   
SmokingGun82


Posts: 575
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

Its not my job, nor my responsibility to make things easier for someone else.


I said the exact same thing... with "nor my intent" added... to someone just a few moments ago. I'm not a group person, or a touchy-feely person... and I never will be. But I will over-use the elipsis, so there's always that.


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It frightens me, the awful truth of how sweet life can be.
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Proper capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my Uncle Jack off a horse" and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."

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RE: On Tolerance and Understanding - 11/15/2007 2:15:00 PM   
pinksugarsub


Posts: 1224
Status: offline 		i have some sympathy for the Op's position but i agree, we are different, we will make judgments, we will disagree. It's human to do so.  Maybe we  could elevate our debates a bit and avoid flaming, but the debates will continue.
 
pinksugarsub

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RE: On Tolerance and Understanding - 11/15/2007 2:18:46 PM   
Alumbrado


Posts: 5560
Status: offline
quote:

We scoff at the sissy boys, cringe when watersports or scat is mentioned, say someone isn't a Top or a bottom just because they do it differently than we do.



Project much?

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RE: On Tolerance and Understanding - 11/15/2007 3:13:26 PM   
Lumus


Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Alumbrado

quote:

We scoff at the sissy boys, cringe when watersports or scat is mentioned, say someone isn't a Top or a bottom just because they do it differently than we do.



Project much?


Pointing out too often that people project is a form of projection.



*turns the lights out*


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<Talk to educate; listen to learn.>

~ the other half of "L&L" ~

I have been dubbed the Rainmaker. Do not make me take your water for my tribe.

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RE: On Tolerance and Understanding - 11/15/2007 3:14:25 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lumus

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alumbrado

quote:

We scoff at the sissy boys, cringe when watersports or scat is mentioned, say someone isn't a Top or a bottom just because they do it differently than we do.



Project much?


Pointing out too often that people project is a form of projection.



*turns the lights out*


LOL

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


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