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A milestone and another step to take. - 11/19/2007 3:53:28 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Kyra, Alandra and I have just past three years from the time we first came across each other online.  For about six months we interacted online and spent alot of time on the phone before we met in person.  By the time we met are desire to build a life long relationship was very intense but yet no commitment or even discussion of this possibility occurred until after we actually touched in the flesh.  But, from the very first time we met, there was a deep seeded desire to be in each others life.  For the past two and half years we have been putting this relationship as a priority in our lives.  We have spent countless amounts of our time together with phone, web cam and every holiday and weekend get away possible.  In the past two and half years we been physically together about 4-5 months in that time.  About 14 months ago we took another of many steps in our relationship with Kyra submitting her application for Immigration into Canada.   Long before making the applications we considered the risks, costs and the time that it would take to recieve an answer.  In many ways it has been a stressful time.  But it has also been extremely rewarding and bonding experience for the three of us.

Today we have received official notice that Kyra's application for immigration into Canada has been Approved! 

As much as we are excited and relieved with this news I am looking to the next step.  Even before the official answer was received steps have been taken to bring Kyra home, but this to me is just apart of the same step of her application.  To me the next step is the transition from living a long-distance relationship to one that is face to face.

So.. besides sharing a Milestone achieved..... I am looking to start a dialogue on other peoples experiences with regards to moving into together.   What did you find that was challenging and what did you find fantastic.  What do you think you did right and what would you do differently.



_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/19/2007 4:05:24 PM   
denika


Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline 		Congratulations!!!!  That is fantastic




(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/19/2007 4:38:31 PM   
probablyknowme


Posts: 1875
Joined: 9/19/2007
Status: offline 		KoM, thank you for asking this question. I am of no help at all, though I will be closely watching for answers.

kat

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The human mind is like a TV set. When it goes blank, it's a good idea to turn off the sound.
-Anon.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NewcomersOK/


(in reply to denika)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/19/2007 4:43:13 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Congratulations! The three of you are inspiring, positive, well-suited and all very intelligent caring individuals.  I look forward to your posts and insights here.  I don't have an answer for the moving in thing, but I'm confident you will work it out.

best of luck to you, 

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/19/2007 4:52:07 PM   
topcat


Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline 		Hooray for you!
 
I'd be happier if you were coming to frigginflorida, where I have been marooned...

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/19/2007 5:10:35 PM   
MamaDomme


Posts: 283
Joined: 12/28/2006
Status: offline 		Congrats to all of you!  I am so glad to hear of happy situations here!

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/19/2007 5:12:27 PM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		Woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!! Congratulations you guys! Fantastic!! I am so happy for you all.  

Just had to offer my best wishes <smile>

I really believe so long as the lines of communication remain open, you all will work through the blips that crop up.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to topcat)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/19/2007 5:20:59 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Kyra, Alandra and I have just past three years from the time we first came across each other online.  For about six months we interacted online and spent alot of time on the phone before we met in person.  By the time we met are desire to build a life long relationship was very intense but yet no commitment or even discussion of this possibility occurred until after we actually touched in the flesh.  But, from the very first time we met, there was a deep seeded desire to be in each others life.  For the past two and half years we have been putting this relationship as a priority in our lives.  We have spent countless amounts of our time together with phone, web cam and every holiday and weekend get away possible.  In the past two and half years we been physically together about 4-5 months in that time.  About 14 months ago we took another of many steps in our relationship with Kyra submitting her application for Immigration into Canada.   Long before making the applications we considered the risks, costs and the time that it would take to recieve an answer.  In many ways it has been a stressful time.  But it has also been extremely rewarding and bonding experience for the three of us.

Today we have received official notice that Kyra's application for immigration into Canada has been Approved! 

As much as we are excited and relieved with this news I am looking to the next step.  Even before the official answer was received steps have been taken to bring Kyra home, but this to me is just apart of the same step of her application.  To me the next step is the transition from living a long-distance relationship to one that is face to face.

So.. besides sharing a Milestone achieved..... I am looking to start a dialogue on other peoples experiences with regards to moving into together.   What did you find that was challenging and what did you find fantastic.  What do you think you did right and what would you do differently.



May I offer up my congratulations to you, alandra, and kyra and say simply that
it's about fucking time

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/19/2007 5:26:17 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist
May I offer up my congratulations to you, alandra, and kyra and say simply that
it's about fucking time


Gosh, and here I thought it was always fucking time 

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/19/2007 5:29:13 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Gosh, and here I thought it was always fucking time 

Well yes lol...but kyra...now you don't have to wait till you are in the same country
think of all the possibilities

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/19/2007 5:56:01 PM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		I have absolutely no clue on the answers to any of your questions, except keep doing what you are doing, something is obviously working in your three cases. I wish you much love, happiness and superlative kink. Congratulations to all of you. Such lovely news... even tho I dont know you :)
Best wishes and congrats again
Lucy


_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/19/2007 5:57:20 PM   
amiciaN


Posts: 228
Joined: 1/20/2007
Status: offline 		Congratulations KnightofMists, kyra and alandra!!!

As someone who is also involved in a relationship across international borders (and a freaking ocean), it's encouraging to see those who successfully navigate the process of being together. 


_____________________________

NChaka's amicia

I have never been lifted so high as when I kneel at His feet.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/19/2007 6:01:22 PM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		Glad to hear it!!

An Irish Blessing of Sanctuary:

Deep peace of the running wave to you.
Deep peace of the flowing air to you.
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you.
Deep peace of the shining stars to you.
Deep peace of the infinite peace to you

Homecoming
 
As I walk up the path,
long and winding,
I reflect on what my
journey has shown me
thus far.
Shown me much love,
much heartache, I
weep for those I have lost.
 
Many have traveled with me
at times, Though few and far
inbetween. Alone, but almost
never lonely. Because I know
that I will find my hearts content
 
Nearing the end of the path
I see 2 bright figures standing
ahead.  I smiled wide, and
even though I cannot see
their faces, I know their
smiles are just as wide
and just as happy.
 
Forgetting all decorum,
I drop my things and run
to them. My heart fills with joy.
The joy of love, of belonging
The joy of Homecoming.
 
the 2nd piece lol, I just written, (been feeling awfully prosy lately!) I hope you enjoy it, and more then that, I hope you enjoy each other. Godspeed.



_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/19/2007 6:09:40 PM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		well any info I can give is 2nd hand, but here it goes:

from what I have heard the day-to-day stuff is the hardest. getting used to another person in the house almost 24/7, even though all of you have spent quite a bit of time getting to know each other, well most of that is surface stuff.  you may find a habit in one, that seemed so cute, so endearing to be aggravating. and so on.  have regular meetings, maybe even have a "time out" in the dynamic. (though of course speaking and acting with respect.) have schedules for each of you made up, when you will be at work, going to the dentist,doctor, try to plan out as much as you can, but of course there will be times where that will be next to the impossible.  And most important! make sure you spend as much time with each other as you can. And as much time alone. (everyone needs down time!)

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to LadyLynx)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/19/2007 6:13:50 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist


May I offer up my congratulations to you, alandra, and kyra and say simply that
it's about fucking time


too everyone... thanks for the well wishes... and Irish... the time line is actually on the short side.  We are a good 6 months ahead of schedule of when we could of reasonable expected to have received an answer.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/19/2007 6:14:23 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		I would say congratulations....

But that wouldn't be very "Assholely" of me...

And we wouldn't want all my training to go to waste, would we?

This, however, provides an ample oppurtunity to reflect on the truth of the words of Agnes De Milles : "No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our lives are made. Destiny is made known silently."



(Ok...seriously...I'm thrilled everything is working out for you. Don't tell the other Assholes I said that, all right?)



_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/19/2007 6:16:57 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit
Don't tell the other Assholes I said that, all right?)


It will be our secret

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/19/2007 6:18:11 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Congratulations! I know this has to be a wonderfully exciting time for all of you!

Moving in can be tricky but it seemed to help us that we had spent a lot of time together in the dorms. The hardest part was probably deciding who does what when!

You all have my very best wishes as you start this new chapter of your lives.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/19/2007 6:21:14 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

I would say congratulations....

But that wouldn't be very "Assholely" of me...

And we wouldn't want all my training to go to waste, would we?

This, however, provides an ample oppurtunity to reflect on the truth of the words of Agnes De Milles : "No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our lives are made. Destiny is made known silently."



(Ok...seriously...I'm thrilled everything is working out for you. Don't tell the other Assholes I said that, all right?)




I'm telling!  now if I can only figure out who the assholes are....

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: A milestone and another step to take. - 11/19/2007 6:21:28 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Congrats you three!

I am not there yet but like you I am driving hard in that direction and trying to anticipate issue and deal with them as much as possible before hand.  I know for me, one of my concerns is how we will combine living space.  I think a submissive moving into her dominants domicile is an easier transition than will be mine of a dominant moving into his submissives home. 

I love books and have four large bookcases full of books and more I don't have room for.  BSB made my very happy when she told me she had already mentally made room for where I could put up a wall (don't panic) of books.  I am going to go through and cull out a lot of stuff I don't need but as anyone who loves books knows, you always find more (a recent find in a dollar bin was a copy of Tolkien's letters and I just got issues 4-7 of Best of Fine Woodworking...) books to add and I will just have to be a bit disciplined about what I keep.

Another thing will be my woodshop, I am going to bring much of my equipment with me but I just turned down a dream machine, a beautiful vintage Powermatic wood lathe I would normally lust after but it is just too big and doesn't add much capability over my smaller but much less cool mini-lathe.  Again, as luck would have it she has a large garage, loves power tools (not just those with C batteries) and is looking forward to me taking over the garage.  I also look forward to teaching her and her kids the joys of working with wood.

I am looking forward to cooking with BSB but again, this is something that I think we can share the joy of. 

I think the issue that will cause the most strife is I HATE having a bed covered in pillows.  I like the look but when I want to get in bed, I want to get in bed, I don't want to have to neatly pile pillows and then replace them in the morning.  I guess I will just have to tell her to prepare my bed at night and arrange it in the morning.

I think where issues crop up is when people are afraid to talk about issues and concerns, like "gee I hate venetian blinds and want curtains" or "I hate feather pillows" and let those issues fester.  As always deep honest communication and non judgemental listening goes a long way to solving problems.

(in reply to LadyLynx)
Profile   Post #: 20
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